Uncrushable (Forehead Kisses #3) (3 page)

God, I missed him.

While I missed the sex, I missed the intimacy we shared most. He was attractive in an obvious way but there was so much more to him than what was on the surface. His heart was made of gold, putting others before himself in every instance. He was broken, but it was a good kind of broken. His pain and tortured past made him my perfect companion, someone who understood his hardships without trying.

When I looked at him, I felt my soul yearn for his.

“I miss you,” I blurted.

He held my gaze and took a deep breath. “You know I miss you.”

I just wanted to hug him, to wrap my arms around him and feel him reciprocate that affection. Even if it only lasted a minute, I would gladly take it over nothing.

Liam grabbed his gloves then pulled him on, breaking my thoughts. We were going to train, so I had to put my heartbreaking emotions to the side. When he adjusted their tightness, he grabbed my gloves and approached me.

Whenever he came close to me, my heart raced wildly, responding to him in a special way. He grabbed my wrist, making my skin burn from the touch, and then he fitted the glove on each finger. He moved slowly, taking his time like he was treasuring the contact between us.

I didn’t want to break the hold. I stared at his hands, which were twice my size, as he fitted the glove. Then he adjusted the other one, taking longer than he ever had. It wasn’t a hug but it would have to suffice.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“Yes.” I didn’t hesitate when I said it. Liam made me strong and I wanted him to know that, to never forget.

His eyes darkened at my words, a look of approval in his eyes. Then he stepped back. “Give me your best shot.”

Without thinking, I threw my fist right at his face.

He blocked it then stepped back.

I threw another hit and he stepped out of the way.

“Your hits are stronger.” That was all he said.

I hopped on my feet and gave him my best effort. He continued to block my hits without hurting me at the same time. I felt like we’d done this a lot and hadn’t moved onto other things. I wasn’t sure what else there was to learn, but I knew it was more than this. “Let’s spar.”

He dropped his hand, giving me a look I’d never seen before. “You want to fight me?”

“Yes,” I said firmly. I raised my gloves to my chest to show him I meant business.

He glanced down at my hands then looked back in my eyes. “You want me to hit you?”

“I know you won’t hurt me.”

His eyes flashed again, but this time, I had no idea what it meant. There was no approval or joy. But there wasn’t disappointment either. “You want me to hit you?” he repeated.

“Yes,” I said without hesitation.

I could tell he was unsure. “Let’s try some blocking first…”

“Liam, I can do it.” I gave him a desperate look. “I won’t run. I’m ready.”

He studied my face for a moment. “Well, I’m not.”

What was that supposed to mean?

“We’re barely holding on by a thread right now. I’m not ready to risk you entirely.”

That hurt. “I promise I won’t run.”

When he looked down, I knew the conversation was over. “I’m going to teach you how to kick and block. We’d been spending so much time on the arms that we’ve neglected the lower part of your body.”

I felt like he slapped me. He didn’t trust me not to run out on him, but I guess I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t argue with him as he showed me different kicks and techniques. My legs were more powerful than my arms, so it was a little easier for me. He showed me how to block with my knees and the right points to hit on a target. By the time the session was over, we were both covered in sweat.

Liam’s chest was covered in droplets, and he breathed heavily. When he grabbed a towel and wiped his face, I snuck a glance at his body and let myself fawn over him. I wasn’t immune to his sex appeal. He was innately sexy, not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. It made me miss him even more.

When my need for him started to hurt my heart, I took off my gloves then walked up the stairs, unable to look at him for a second longer. When he put on a shirt, it would be a little easier for me. His body represented more than just strength and power. He was a concrete wall, something that would protect me against everything. But now it wasn’t his job to protect me anymore.

I moved to his backdoor then looked outside. His backyard was covered in darkness. I wondered if he’d taken care of my garden. I understood if he didn’t. It was something he and I did together everyday. It would be impossible to stand outside and not remember me, to not feel me.

Liam came to my side then flipped on the light.

The backyard was illuminated in the light, shining on the blooming California Poppies and the other flowers thriving in their boxes. The plants grew tall, their leaves a deep green. Every living thing was pampered and loved.

“You took care of it…”

He stared out the window into the darkness. “I could never let it die.”

I placed my hand against the window, feeling the temperature difference. “They look so healthy…did you sing to them?”

He rubbed his chin then dropped his hand. “Every day.”

I turned my head and looked at him, somehow loving him even more than I ever thought possible. “I’ve never heard you sing.”

“I’m not very good at it.” A slight smile stretched his lips. But instantly, it was gone.

“I’m sure it was beautiful…” I turned back to the window, amazed by how beautiful the garden was.

We stood in silence, staring at the place we both spent afternoons tilling the soil and watering the plants. I would make fresh lemonade and we would enjoy it together. Most of the time we didn’t speak, but words were unnecessary. We always had a silent form of communication, understanding one another without the use of words.

Liam stepped away then headed toward the living room.

With a heavy sigh, I turned around followed him. This was my time to leave, my time to say goodbye.

Instead of stopping at the front door, he kept going. Hopeful, I followed him.

He grabbed the remote and sat on the couch. “
I Love Lucy
?”

That was the last thing I expected, but I was so pleased by the question. “Sure.”

He grabbed a plastic bag from the end table and pulled out a few bags of
Skittles
. “Want some?”

“Do you even need to ask?” I sat beside him on the couch and held my hand out.

He ripped it open then poured them into my hand. Then he dropped the remains into his palm.

I sat beside him then ate my candy, but I was consciously aware of how close he was to me. He didn’t put his arm around me or rest his hand on my thigh like he usually did. His hands were kept to himself, away from me.

I hid my disappointment. But I was stupid for expecting anything more from him. I knew this was all he could give me right now, our ‘friends but more than friends’ relationship that we used to have. It was slow and steady, just like before. If that was what he needed, I would give it to him.

We both laughed at the same parts when Lucy did something comical. Ricky would always get upset, living with his wife and her maniacal schemes, but it was clear how much they loved each other. Liam and I were the same way. Even if we weren’t showing it in the most obvious way, that love was still there, shining bright and ringing true.

Chapter Three

Liam

For the past few months, Keira had never showed up at my house unexpectedly. She was timid and fearful, cornering me in public places so she wouldn’t crowd my space. She was never aggressive, but she it showed it for the first time the other night.

It was ironic that it was the night Theresa came over. She and I prepared our business presentation until it got late. Theresa was talkative and upbeat, but she wasn’t the most annoying person in the world. I could deal with her. She definitely wasn’t a psychotic bitch like Adrianna, who I avoided at all costs because I honestly thought I might slap her.

But it shouldn’t matter what Adrianna does. It should only matter what Keira does, and she was the one who walked out on me, perfectly aware of Adriana’s sinister intentions. Expressing my frustration wouldn’t change that fact.

When Keira came over the other night, I fell in love with her all over again. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment or how it happened. Just being with her, looking at the garden we made together, and watching TV just like we used made a bell ring in my heart. She didn’t touch me and gave me space, which I appreciated, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t desperate to hold her.

When I fitted her gloves on her hands, I felt the familiar burn in my heart and lungs. I felt an innate compulsion to crush my mouth against hers, feeling her tiny frame against my massive one. The distance between us was brutal. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms and never let go.

I’d never gone this long without having sex as a single guy. When Keira and I started dating, I was patient and didn’t complain, settling for her heated kisses and the way she kissed my neck. But I knew she was worth the wait.

While I missed the physical act of sex, I didn’t crave it like I normally would. What I wanted most was the intimacy we shared. Sex was very different than making love. In that respect, she was my first. And I didn’t want to go back to the meaningless sex I had before. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying or enjoyable.

What I really wanted, above all things, was just to hold Keira. Something about a hug really healed my heart for a moment in time. It was something only she and I did with each other. It was a universal symbol of friendship, but since she and I never did it with anyone else but family, it was something that belonged to she and I.

The first time we hugged in my driveway was an emotional moment for the both of us. I knew it was the moment when she finally started to let me in. And it was the moment I fell for her, knowing she and I were fallen branches from the same tree.

And I missed sleeping. The best nights of sleep I ever got were with Keira. Normally, I’d wake up a few times for absolutely no reason at all. I’d stare through the darkness, my mind becoming plagued with heavy thoughts. When I fell back asleep, a nightmare would wake me again. But when Keira was in my arms and lying on my chest, the nightmares were defeated. She was my dreamcatcher, the guardian of my slumber.

When I went to class the next day, Keira was there like she usually was.

“Hey.” She wore shorts and a t-shirt, not highlighting her body or drawing attention to herself.

“Hi.” These conversations outside my classroom were always awkward. I appreciated the effort she was making, but there wasn’t much I wanted to say in a public hallway.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I just wanted you to know I had a great time last night.”

“I did too…”

Keira looked at me with her beautiful green eyes then turned away. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

I stood still and watched her walk away, wanting to push her against the wall and crush my mouth to hers. Still broken and hurt, I stood by and let her walk away until she disappeared down the hallway.

Scotty dipped a chip in the salsa then tossed it into his mouth. He snuck glances at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. But no movement, no matter how small and insignificant, could escape the notice of a fighter. Nothing went unnoticed.

I ate my burrito and pretended not to notice. We were sitting at the picnic tables outside, the students walking past us to their next class. It was a warm day in San Diego, but we were close enough to the beach to get a strong breeze.

Scotty finally made his move. “So…Keira told me she went to your place the other night.”

He and I hadn’t talked about his cousin once since he told me he slept with Adriana. He was my friend, but he was also her cousin. It was an awkward topic for the both of us, and he usually stayed out of it. But something was clearly on his mind. “Yeah, she did.”

“You trained together?”

“Yeah.” I took another bite of my California burrito. “She’s still strong. I’m impressed.”

He picked at another chip. “She seemed to be there pretty late…”

“We watched
I Love Lucy
when we were done.”

He nodded. “So, is there a good chance you’ll get back together…?”

I didn’t like discussing my relationship with anyone but Keira. What she and I had was private and intimate. “We’re working on it.”

Scotty finished his burrito then wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Because she really loves you, man. I know she made a mistake but—”

“Stay out of it.”

He grabbed his soda and took a sip out of the straw. The lines on his brow told me he was annoyed. “I know what she did was wrong, but pulling her along like this is worse. Be with her or cut her loose.”

I dropped my burrito, feeling the anger come through. “Mind your own damn business.”

He met my fury. “Don’t fuck with my cousin and I won’t.”