Scattered Colors (42 page)

“Parker, I need you to listen carefully. James had a heart attack earlier tonight—”

“Oh, shit.”

“Son, please. I need you to pay attention. Freya’s going to need you right now.” His words settled inside me. He was right. In the span of a few seconds, Freya had completely broken down. I needed to be there for her.

“Sorry, I’m listening.”

“He was at the hospital when it occurred so they were able to get him help right away…”

That was a good thing. That had to be a good thing, right? Christ, he had to be okay. Freya had already lost her mother. That damn near destroyed her. She couldn’t lose her father, too.

“I-is he going to be okay?”

“He’s stable right now. He’s going to require coronary artery bypass surgery, but he’s strong and in relatively good health. The cardiologist is hopeful he’ll be able make a full recovery.”

I listened for a few more minutes as Dr. Varger went over everything that was about to happen and why. Most of it went right over my head, but I tried my best to absorb everything he was telling me so I could use it to comfort Freya. After disconnecting the call, I wrapped Freya in my arms and tried to soothe her the best I could. She needed a rock through all of this, and I was determined to be that for her.

The next several hours went by in a haze of worry so heavy I felt as though I were moving through a dream, that it wasn’t real. After carrying me back to my apartment, Parker filled Piper and Caleb in on what was happening with my father. Piper wrapped me in a tight hug as I continued to cry silent tears then went about packing my suitcase. Parker and Caleb got online to book me the earliest flight possible back to Washington so I could get to my dad. I didn’t have the energy to fight Parker when he insisted on coming with me. The truth was I kind of needed him. I didn’t want to do this alone, and having Parker with me at least offered me a tiny bit of comfort.

They went about handling everything as I struggled in a fog of fear and sadness. Before I knew it, we were at the airport, getting ready to board the plane that would take me back to the one place I’d never wanted to see again. All my thoughts were on my father. I couldn’t possibly care that I’d once sworn to never step foot in Sommerspoint again. I’d fly to a war-torn, third-world country for my dad it that was what it took. I just needed him to be okay.

I let Parker guide me to where I needed to be, leaning on him, absorbing his strength to get me through. I couldn’t recall the majority of the five-hour flight. I vaguely recalled words like ‘bypass’ and ‘hopeful’ and ‘strong’, but the words that stuck with me the most were ‘bypass surgery’. I knew he was trying to assuage my fears, but all I could think about was some surgeon opening my father’s chest so he could cut into his heart. What if something went wrong? What if the surgeon messed up somehow?
What if, what if, what if.
The what ifs were what made it hard to breathe.

By the time we touched down in Washington, I was an even bigger mess than when I got the initial phone call. God bless Parker, though. He was my pillar, my rock. I had no clue if I could have made that trip without him. He grabbed our bags and rushed us out of the airport and into a cab, spitting out the name and address of the hospital. At some point during the cab ride, Parker must have texted Dr. Varger that we were on our way, because when the cab pulled up, the well-dressed older man stood outside the hospital entrance, waiting for us.

I had the door open before the cab had a chance to come to a complete stop. “How is he?”

“He’s in recovery, dear. The surgery went very well.” Parker grabbed our bags and we followed my father’s friend through the hospital corridors. Even with that tiny bit of relief, I knew I wouldn’t breathe a full breath until I was able to see my father with my own eyes.

“Daddy.”

My father’s head turned slowly and he gave me a tired, weak smile. “Hey, baby girl. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

At the sound of his raspy voice, I lost it. On a sob, I rushed to his bedside and wrapped my hands around his cold arm, afraid of touching anything else in the fear I’d unplug something crucial or hurt him in some way. Sitting in the waiting room, waiting for my father to come out of recovery and wake up was positively grueling. Each second that ticked by felt like an eternity. I yo-yoed back and forth between pacing and clinging to Parker as he hugged me like my life depended on it.

I rested my head on the side of my father’s bed, finally taking my first real breath in hours as he gently ran his fingers through my hair.

“I was s-so sc-scared,” I cried.

“Shhh. It’s okay, honey. I’m okay. I’m so sorry I scared you.”

My head shot up and I grasped his hand in mine. “Oh, my God. Don’t apologize. You had a heart attack, Dad. That’s not your fault.”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. I promise.”

He looked so frail lying in that hospital bed with tubes and wires coming from his pale body. Lifting his hand, I pressed it to my cheek, so thankful I still got to see him, touch him. The knowledge that I still had my father was overwhelming.

“I was so scared I’d never get to see you again.”

Despite my father’s weak frame, his voice came out strong. “Listen to me, baby girl. You didn’t lose me. I’m right here.”

And I was so,
so
thankful for that. But it was still hard seeing my father in a hospital bed.

“You aren’t here all by yourself, are you?” The fact that he was lying there after having a heart attack and was concerned about
me
warmed my heart. “Please tell me you brought Piper and didn’t take that trip by yourself.”

I gave my Dad a reassuring smile. “I’m not by myself. I…I’m actually with Parker,” I admitted hesitantly. I couldn’t miss the surprise on his pale face.

“Well, that’s…unexpected.” He gave a little laugh before cringing in pain at the movement in his chest. I squeezed his hand and waited for the pain to subside. I’d explained that Parker and I had reached a place where we were able to be civil with each other, but I hadn’t gotten into detail about how our friendship had continued to grow into something different with every passing day.

“He’s actually been kind of great since I got the call. He had Piper pack my stuff and got the tickets and everything I wasn’t able to concentrate on. I don’t think I would have been able to function enough to handle everything on my own.”

“I’m glad, sweetie.” My father gave a tired smile. His eyelids began to droop as his pain meds took over.

Leaning over his bed, I placed a kiss on his forehead. “Get some rest, Dad. I’ll see you in a little while, okay?”

“Okay, honey.”

Within a minute, he was out cold. I walked on tired feet back to the waiting room. Parker stood from his chair and came toward me, wrapping me in a warm embrace I couldn’t help but melt into. Where I had no strength, he provided everything I needed.

“How is he?” he asked, his lips pressed against the top of my head.

“He’s okay,” I mumbled into his chest, breathing in his scent and letting it envelop me. “He’s asleep, but I think he’ll be all right.”

“Do you want to go home and try to get some rest?”

I shook my head against his chest before pulling away slightly. “I’m going to stay, but you don’t have to wait with me. I’m sure you’d like to go see your mom.”

Parker brushed my hair behind my ear. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. I’m right here with you.” He led me over to a small little loveseat in the corner of the room, pulling me down so my head was resting on his lap. “Why don’t you close your eyes and get some sleep. I’ll wake you if there’s any need.”

“I’m okay,” I mumbled, trying to fight the heaviness of my eyelids. I wanted to be awake if the doctor came by for anything, but the adrenaline had worn off and was making it hard to stay awake. “I’m just going to rest my eyes for a bit, that’s all.”

“Whatever you need, baby.” The soothing feel of his fingers brushing through my hair eventually became too much and the darkness took over completely, pulling me into a dreamless sleep.

Three days had passed where I refused to leave the hospital. Parker stayed with me almost constantly, only leaving to get us food or coffee. When my father was eventually moved to his own room, I would spend the night sleeping in the uncomfortable recliner next to his bed. Parker tried to insist he was fine sleeping in the waiting room, but after the first night, I convinced him to go to his mother’s house to sleep. Each morning I woke and stumbled out of my father’s room in search of coffee, he was there with two piping hot cups and a bag of pastries for breakfast. He was a lifesaver.

My father was able to stay awake a little bit longer each day, fighting with me to go home, saying the recliner was a poor substitute to a real bed and I needed a good night’s sleep. I finally relented at the end of the third day, but only because Dad insisted I needed a shower, that my unkempt appearance was starting to scare the hospital staff. I’d washed up in the hospital bathrooms the best I could, but my hair was a ratty, matted mess, and I couldn’t deny that I was starting to feel a little gross.

The sounds coming from the kitchen of my father’s house startled me as Parker and I walked through the front door. When a little, dark-haired woman poked her head out of the kitchen I almost didn’t recognize her. Parker’s mother looked so different from the handful of times I’d seen her while Parker and I dated.