Her Secret, His Love-Child (5 page)

She frowned more deeply, clearly confused. ‘And how am I doing that?’

‘Aren’t you the one who said this was about Samantha?’

She nodded. ‘That’s what I said. So…?’

‘So you’re making this all about you and what you want, not what’s best for her.’

He heard her sharp inhalation of breath. Saw her eyes widen.

The room fell silent.

Alex waited for a moment and then went for the jugular. ‘I’m willing to sacrifice my freedom to give Sam the family she deserves. What are you prepared to sacrifice?’

He’d used the shortened version of their daughter’s name quite deliberately. He was playing on Katrina’s emotions, but he didn’t care.

He had to convince her that moving in with him was the right thing to do.

He intended to be a good father to Samantha, and he couldn’t do that if she was living somewhere else.

Honesty also forced him to admit that this wasn’t just about Samantha.

This was also about the fact that he wanted Katrina. What had happened here two nights ago proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt.

As he’d just told her, he’d always thought that what they’d shared was special.

So special, in fact, that he wasn’t ready to let it go.

Finally, Katrina cleared her throat. ‘You’re suggesting I sacrifice myself for my daughter?’

‘That’s a rather melodramatic way of putting it but, yes, that’s exactly what I’m suggesting. Besides we both know there wouldn’t be any sacrifice involved,’ Alex continued confidently. ‘You want me.’

Katrina stared at him but didn’t answer.

Alex smiled. ‘I’ve kissed you twice in as many days and you’ve kissed me back both times.’

Her chin made its way into the air. Still, she didn’t say anything.

His smile widened. ‘Don’t worry. You don’t need to say anything. I know.’

She tossed her head, sending her caramel-coloured hair swirling around her shoulders. ‘You’re not omniscient, Alex. You don’t know everything.’

His eyes dropped to her mouth. ‘I know that it would only take one kiss to prove me right. Shall we try it?’

He crossed the room at the speed of light, grasped her hands and pulled her against him.

She tore herself out of his arms and took a stumbling step backwards. ‘No.’

Alex followed her retreat and slid an arm around the small of her back. ‘No? You don’t sound very sure.’

Again, she wrenched herself out of his arms. This time she put the length of the sofa between them. ‘I’m sure.’

Alex eyed the sofa separating them. If Katrina thought that would stop him if he really wanted to get to her, then she had another thing coming.

He shook his head, his mouth quirking at the corners. ‘Really? I don’t think you are.’

She blinked.

‘Remember how you used to cry out my name when I sucked on your nipples?’ She licked her lips as if they were dry; colour swept into her cheeks. ‘And how you used to dig your nails into my back as you came? You drew blood on more than one occasion.’

The colour in her cheeks deepened until they were burning a bright pink. Her pupils dilated, the golden-brown flecks standing out prominently. Her chest was rising and falling, her nipples pressing against the tan cotton of her top.

‘Remember?’ he prompted again, his voice thickening.

She licked her lips again. ‘I don’t remember a thing.’

He crossed the room in a flash, practically vaulting the corner of the sofa. While she was still staring at him, open-mouthed, he pulled her into his arms and said huskily, ‘Then let me remind you.’

Katrina shuddered as his mouth claimed hers.

No matter what she’d told Alex, she wanted him.

She might not love him any more, but the chemistry between them was like an addiction that she had no control over.

Because, instead of pushing him away, she was winding her arms around his neck and pushing her aching breasts against the hard wall of his chest.

And, instead of telling him to get away from her, she was sighing her surrender into his mouth as if this was the first and last place she wanted to be.

Alex prised her lips apart and deepened the kiss. Their mouths danced a duel as erotic and as ageless as time. Light bloomed behind her closed eyelids. Heat blossomed under her skin until she felt as if she were glowing.

Alex lifted his head.

Her lashes fluttered open.

Their eyes met.

‘Tell me,’ he ordered, feeding a hand into her hair and pulling her head back to expose the fragile length of her neck.

Katrina let her eyes flutter closed again as she felt his mouth nip at the sensitive skin just below her ear. ‘Yes,’ she breathed.

‘Yes what?’ he asked, nipping at her again.

She opened her mouth to say the fateful words, ‘yes, I want you’, but at that exact moment Samantha began to cry.

My God, what was she doing? Katrina asked herself frantically.

She tore herself out of Alex’s arms and stumbled towards the pram.

She dragged in a breath and released it slowly, then repeated the process. Gradually, her heartbeat began to slow towards the semblance of a normal rhythm.

When she was calm, she reached into the pram and picked Samantha up. ‘Hush, little one. Hush.’

She gently rocked the baby until she quieted then looked at Alex. ‘I am
not
going to sleep with you.’

Alex folded his arms across his impressive chest. ‘Who are you trying to convince—me? Or yourself? You want me.’

It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

Katrina knew she would be wasting her breath trying to deny it. After the way she’d just kissed him, there was no doubt in either of their minds that he’d spoken the truth.

She tossed her head. ‘So what if I do? Didn’t your mother ever tell you that you can’t always have what you want?’

His mouth twisted. ‘Oh, she taught me that, all right.’

The bitterness in his voice immediately roused her curiosity, but satisfying it was hardly a priority.

Sorting out Samantha’s future was the only thing that concerned her. And there was one thing she knew for sure.

She looked Alex squarely in the eye. ‘I’m sorry, Alex, but I’m not prepared to live with you.’

Alex shook his head, his eyes showing a mixture of surprise and admiration. ‘You really have changed, haven’t you? You’ve turned into Little Miss Confrontation.’

She nodded. ‘You’d better believe it. I used to be a pushover where you were concerned, but not any more. I can’t forgive you for the way you treated me. At least, not enough to get involved with you again. It would make me unhappy, and that wouldn’t be good for Sam.’

‘And where does that leave me?’ Alex challenged. ‘Out in the cold?’

‘Now who’s the one being melodramatic?’

‘I hardly think it’s melodramatic when you’re trying to stop me from being the father I want to be to Sam.’ His eyes were as hard as nails, his voice threaded with the same steel. ‘If that’s your final decision, then you leave me no choice.’

The tone of his voice sent a chill unlike anything she’d known down her spine. A knot of tension formed in the base of her throat. ‘What…what do you mean?’

‘It means I intend to sue for sole custody.’

His answer sucked the air from her lungs.

‘What—?’ She stopped, swallowed and tried again. ‘
What
did you say?’

‘You heard me.’

His voice was strong and determined; the look in his eyes was equally resolute.

Katrina staggered backwards.

Alex frowned and held out his hands. ‘Give Sam to me before you drop her.’

Katrina backed out of reach, hugged her daughter close to her chest and wrapped her arms protectively around her. She glared at Alex. ‘You stay away from her! And you can stay away from me too. In fact, I want you to leave.
Right now!
’

His hands dropped to his sides but he didn’t move.
A muscle along the line of his jaw bunched as if he were gritting his teeth. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

‘I’ll call the police,’ she threatened.

‘No, you won’t.’

There it was again, that tone. Forceful. Attacking.

Like a compression wave travelling through the air. When it hit you, it threatened to strike you flat to the floor.

She trembled but she tried to put on a confident front. ‘Are you sure about that?’

‘Yes, I’m sure. The last thing you want is to make an enemy out of me.’

She barked out a harsh laugh. ‘I think it’s too late for that, don’t you? What you just suggested is, well, it’s barbaric. Sam is just a baby. She needs me.’

‘Yes, she does.’

‘She’s too little to—’ She stopped, gasped, then said slowly, ‘Say that again.’

Alex stared back at her. ‘I agreed with you. You are her mother. Of course she needs you. I never said that she didn’t.’

She blinked, and breathed deeply. ‘But you just said you’d sue me for custody.’

‘And I meant it.’ For the first time since he’d arrived at the apartment, Alex looked angry, his face hardening and nostrils flaring. ‘Did you listen to yourself just now? Talk about being selfish. Have you thought for one moment that Sam needs me as much as she needs you? Have you?’

Katrina flinched. ‘I’ve already said that—’

Alex didn’t let her finish. He put his face close to hers and bared his teeth. His eyes were emitting blue sparks, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. ‘My
daughter is going to have a better start in life than I had; I can promise you that. She is
not
going to be raised in some dingy two-bit apartment barely big enough to swing a cat in. She is
not
going to go to bed hungry two out of three nights because there’s not enough money to put a proper meal on the table. She is
not
going to be bullied, and she is
not
going to be scared.’

Alex stopped.

Katrina thought he’d finished but he’d only paused long enough to draw breath.

‘She is going to have ballet and music and tennis lessons if that’s what she wants. She is going to have friends and go to parties and not be embarrassed because she wears clothes that come from the cheapest chain-stores or other kids’ hand-me-downs. She is going to feel safe and secure and happy. And I, as her father, am going to see that it happens. And to hell with anyone who gets in my way!’

H
IS
words hung in the air like a crack of rifle fire, bouncing off one wall and then another before slowly echoing into nothing. The silence that invaded the room prickled at the back of Katrina’s neck and made her skin contract over her bones.

As if sensing the tension in the room, Samantha started crying again. Katrina eased her grip, which had unconsciously tightened with each and every word that had exploded from Alex’s mouth.

Laying the baby in the crook of her arm, she swayed from side to side.

The rocking motion soothed Samantha, who grew quiet.

It failed, however, to calm Katrina’s own shattered nerves.

She was stunned by Alex’s outburst. Not only was the sudden flare-up out of character, but the content had knocked her for six.

She knew next to nothing about Alex’s family. When they’d been together he’d never talked about them. She knew his mother was still alive, because she’d called him several times, leaving messages he’d always ig
nored. She also knew he had a brother and, courtesy of the conversation she’d overheard between Alex and Dr Kershew that day in his surgery, she knew that his name was Michael.

Alex had never mentioned his father. Or his background.

She’d always assumed he came from a wealthy family. She didn’t have a particular reason for thinking that; she’d just never associated a man who owned and ran his own investment bank with anything but success and wealth.

But his tirade just now had been full of such passionate intensity there was no doubt he was speaking from personal experience.

Tears stung the back of her eyes when she realised
he
was the little boy who had gone to sleep hungry.
He
was the little boy who had been bullied and scared.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, looking up.

His jaw squared. ‘What for? For the fact that I had a lousy childhood? Or the fact that you want to deny Sam everything I can offer her?’

Katrina bit back a gasp.

Alex was not holding back. The gloves were well and truly off.

Every word was like a sword he was thrusting through her—and each and every one found its mark.

‘That isn’t fair,’ she protested, even though she knew there was a lot of truth in what he’d just said.

She’d contacted Alex for many reasons—included amongst them was the fact that she knew he could offer their daughter more financially than she could.

She had to face it, she was struggling. All she had to do was look at the pile of unpaid bills pinned to the
fridge door with magnets to see that she was just scraping by. She didn’t want to see her daughter suffer that way.

‘And is it fair that I get only the scraps from the table and not the full feast, which is exactly what I’d be getting if Sam lives with you?’

Katrina winced as that shot also found its target. ‘I suppose not.’

‘I have as much right to custody as you have.’ His eyes met hers squarely. ‘The difference is, I have the money to win.’

He was right.

Alex could afford the best legal counsel in Australia. In fact, he could hire a whole team of lawyers if he wanted to, whereas she would have to make do with legal aid.

It wouldn’t be a fair contest. It would be over before it had even begun.

Her shoulders slumped, the energy draining out of her. ‘OK. You win; I’ll move in with you. But I won’t sleep with you.’

His eyes seared into hers. ‘I am
not
signing on for a lifetime of celibacy!’

She clenched her hands into fists. ‘Well, don’t think I’m just going to stand by while you sleep with other women!’ she burst out before she could stop herself. ‘I refuse to be humiliated that way,’ she added hastily just in case he thought she was jealous.

Because she wasn’t. Was she…?

Katrina was very much afraid that she was—and she didn’t like it one little bit.

The look Alex threw her chilled her to the bone. ‘What kind of a man do you take me for?’ he demanded.
‘Do you really think I’d risk doing anything that would hurt or embarrass my daughter if she found out?’

Katrina was ashamed to realise that she hadn’t given a thought to how such behaviour would affect Samantha. She’d been too busy worrying about how
she
felt about it.

‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ she admitted grudgingly.

‘Well, I have. You either move in with me with the aim of building a proper family with all that that entails, or you don’t move in at all.’

Her heart started to thump again. She now knew exactly what the saying ‘between a rock and a hard place’ meant. She was sandwiched between the two right now.

‘You can’t just expect me to jump straight into bed with you,’ she huffed.

Alex shrugged. ‘I don’t see why not. It’s not as if you haven’t slept with me before.’

His insensitivity made her grit her teeth. ‘It’s not the same, and you know it. I didn’t dislike you then the way I do now. I need time. Time to establish a relationship first.’

‘We already have a relationship, or are you forgetting the fact that we spent almost a year together?’

Katrina’s heart sank to her toes. ‘I’ve forgotten nothing. That’s the problem.’

In the end they agreed to a compromise.

Her move to the penthouse was completed with the minimum of fuss the following day. Alex arranged everything; the transfer happened with a speed that made her head spin.

After giving her a quick tour of the apartment, which
was as spacious as it was luxurious, Alex departed for the office. ‘I’ll be back around eight to see how you’re settling in.’

Katrina was surprised he’d left so quickly. But then, she reasoned, he was a busy man who’d obviously taken time out of his schedule to be here to welcome them.

Alex had arranged to give her furniture away to charity, so it didn’t take her long to unpack her meagre possessions. Even with her belongings scattered around her room, and a few favourite ornaments and photographs carefully positioned in the lounge, the apartment still didn’t feel like home.

She’d never lived in anything so lavish, not even for a night. She felt like a fish out of water and, as a result, found it difficult to relax. So much so that she could hardly wait to put Samantha in her pram and go outside.

After a long walk down to Circular Quay, Katrina returned to the apartment and proceeded to put the baby to bed. The familiar routine of feeding and bathing her daughter was soothing.

Alex arrived home just before eight. Katrina was watching TV and pretending not to watch the clock at the same time.

‘Have you eaten?’ he asked, pulling off his tie and unbuttoning the collar of his shirt.

Katrina shook her head. ‘No. Not yet.’

He undid another button. And another. Katrina tried not to stare, but found her eyes straying to the triangle of golden skin he’d revealed.

‘Do you still like Chinese?’ Alex asked, his fingers working the next button free.

By this stage half of his muscled chest was bare. Alex looked good naked; his body was taut and toned.
Katrina took full advantage of it before she realised he was waiting for her reply.

Dragging her eyes back to his face, she nodded.

‘There’s a list of restaurants in the third drawer down in the kitchen. Why don’t you call the Chinese and order while I have a quick shower?’ he suggested, pulling the open shirt out of the waistband on his trousers.

Katrina forced herself not to look down, even though the temptation to do so was strong. Was he doing this little striptease deliberately? she wondered, dragging in a breath before releasing it slowly. ‘Fine. I’ll do that.’

Alex shrugged off the shirt and let it dangle off one finger. ‘Good. I shouldn’t be long.’

‘Do you have any preferences?’ she choked out.

He flashed her a smile that made her go weak at the knees.

‘You choose. You know what I like.’

He turned and walked out of the room.

Katrina stared at the strong planes of his back. She did know what he liked—and she wasn’t just thinking about food!

She remembered several memorable occasions when they’d showered together, taking it in turns to wash each other. There was something very sensual about the combination of soap, water and skin that brought her out in goose bumps just thinking about it.

The Chinese food arrived not long after Alex had opened a bottle of crisp white wine. Katrina cautiously dished the food up on to the expensive china plates she’d found in the kitchen.

‘One of these days you’re going to have to master the art of using chopsticks,’ Alex mocked as she picked up her fork.

Her mouth twisted. ‘I’ve tried, but more food ends up in my lap than in my mouth.’

‘I know. Do you remember the night I tried to teach you to use them?’

Katrina’s eyes met his, the memory of that evening washing over her.

Alex had decided that a penalty-and-reward system would help her to learn more quickly.

Her reward had been a kiss. Her penalty had been the loss of an item of clothing.

She hadn’t learned how to use chopsticks that night; she didn’t think they’d even finished their meal. But she’d learned a lot about herself and about the depth of her desire for Alex.

Heat flooded her insides until she found it difficult to sit still. ‘Don’t, Alex. You promised you’d give me time.’

Alex shook his head. ‘No, I didn’t. I said I was willing to let our relationship progress naturally. There’s a big difference.’

Katrina was beginning to realise that. ‘I should have known better than to trust you. I thought you meant I could set the pace.’

‘I’m not waiting until hell freezes over, if that’s what you’re thinking. I expect there to be progress.’ He gave her a wicked smile. ‘And I never said that I wouldn’t give the pace a nudge along every now and again, did I?’

‘Alex…’

He held up his hands, his electric-blue eyes wide and innocent. ‘All we’re doing is talking.’

‘Is that what you’d call it? I’d call it a trip down memory lane.’

That nudge he’d just mentioned was also a blatant attempt to seduce her with memories.

Alex took a sip of wine before answering. ‘And what’s wrong with that? I see nothing wrong with reconnecting with our past. We used to have some pretty good times, if you remember.’

That was the problem.

She
did
remember. And she’d rather she didn’t.

She remembered their first meeting in her boss’s office, where one look from the tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed stranger had left her both breathless and speechless.

She remembered their first kiss that very same evening, when she’d trembled in his arms as if she’d never been kissed before.

But she also remembered each and every time he’d returned to his apartment, leaving her with the smell of him on her skin, the taste of him in her mouth and only the lingering heat of his body to keep her warm.

She looked him in the eye. ‘Yes, we had some good times. But it wasn’t all a bed of roses. At least, not for me.’

Alex frowned. ‘Are you saying I made you unhappy?’

Katrina swallowed. ‘Not entirely. I’m just saying I wasn’t particularly good mistress material.’

His eyes narrowed to slits of blue. ‘You wanted more than I could give you.’

It was a statement, not a question. Her fork clattered down on to her plate. ‘You knew?’

He nodded. ‘Although you didn’t say anything, you weren’t very good at hiding your feelings. I warned you
in the beginning that I didn’t plan on getting married or having children. You should have listened to me.’

She inclined her head, an empty feeling attacking her insides, draining her of warmth. ‘You’re right. I should have. The point I’m trying to make is that I don’t want to keep revisiting the past. If we’re going to make this work we should start afresh.’

‘Considering we have a daughter together, don’t you think it’s a little too late for that?’

She gestured with one hand. ‘You know what I mean. Can’t we just be friends for now? Until…you know…we get used to each other again?’

Alex looked as though the idea was totally alien to him, and Katrina guessed he’d never had a platonic relationship with a woman in his life. ‘We’re meant to be building a lasting relationship.’

‘Then friendship is an excellent place to start, don’t you think?’

‘I don’t know if that will work.’ He picked up his wine and took a sip before saying slowly, ‘You can’t just pretend we don’t want each other, Katrina. It won’t make it go away.’

Picking up her fork, Katrina skewered a honey king-prawn and doggedly began eating without giving him a reply.

Alex obviously got the message, because he sighed and picked up his chopsticks.

‘Are your rooms OK?’ he asked a couple of minutes later.

He’d put her and Samantha in adjoining rooms with their own bathroom. Her bedroom was large, spacious and luxuriously appointed.

Their daughter’s bedroom had already been fur
nished as a nursery, complete with animal motifs on the walls and a pile of toys that must have cost a bomb.

‘They’re fabulous. How did you manage to decorate the nursery so fast?’

His mouth twisted. ‘Money talks. I’m glad you like it.’

She smiled with genuine warmth. ‘How could I not like it? It’s fantastic. And whoever chose the toys did a wonderful job. Sam already loves the pink teddy-bear.’

Alex looked away, seemingly fascinated by the rice he’d picked up with his chopsticks.

Instinct prompted her to ask, ‘Who bought the toys, Alex?’

He looked up somewhat sheepishly. ‘I did.’

‘I see.’

Katrina was stunned. Although why she should be she didn’t know. Alex was nothing if not thorough; when he did things he went all out, crossing every t and dotting every i.

‘I wanted to get Sam something from me,’ he said in that same sheepish tone. ‘I guess I got a little carried away, didn’t I?’

She gave him a warm smile. ‘Maybe just a little bit. You bought enough toys to last her until she’s five. I don’t want her spoilt.’

Alex smiled back. ‘I don’t want her spoilt either. I’ll try not to get so carried away in future.’