Fear of God (Trials of Strength Book 1) (9 page)

Aim.
Shoot.

But as soon as the bullet
struck her forehead and she fell to the ground, the fog had
returned. What did I do? The guilt was unstoppable. Claire’s face
mixed with Amelia’s and Hannah’s, and to me it seemed, no matter
what I did someone else died. I had taken a life and it would never
affect the world again. I felt as if something had been ripped from
inside. New tears slipped from my eyes and I almost
wailed.

I closed Claire’s eyes
through the blood staining her face, and I sobbed with how innocent
and peaceful she looked. Her hair was red, but before it had been a
murky blonde, her eyes a greyer shade of blue. I gripped her tight.
My face throbbed and my chest pulsed in rhythm with the pain. I
felt dirty, and not in the physical sense.

I wondered if this was
what going into shock felt like. Anna and Chris still lay
unconscious, I hadn’t even checked to see if they were okay. Before
too long Chris’s eyes fluttered open and he groaned. As if his mind
clicked, he flew to his feet and scanned the room wildly for the
enemy. His eyes found me, his solid composure gone for an instant,
but with a blink it was back. He lifted the gun at my side and went
to where Anna lay and tried to rouse her.

An insane anger burst
into my chest. The earlier admiration I had had for Chris melted
away and the obvious truth filled the void. He knew more than he
was letting on. It had gone on for long enough. I waited as he
surveyed Anna.

‘
She’s
breathing, but it looks like her arm is dislocated,’ he whispered,
gazing around suspiciously as if more monsters waited to catch us
off guard. ‘Anna, hey, Anna?’

He gave her a soft shake
and patted her face lightly. She groaned and arduously opened her
eyes. She looked around, and then tried to move.

‘
Oh god,’ she
gasped through clenched teeth. ‘My arm! My arm, I think it’s
broken, oh god.’

Chris helped her sit up
against the wall while he studied her arm.

‘
No, Anna,’ he
said. ‘It’s just dislocated.’

Anna’s eyes locked onto
his and she winced.

‘
Can you fix
it?’ she asked.

‘
Yes, but it’s
gonna hurt. We should wait till we’re back in the tunnels before-’
he started.

‘
No,’ Anna
replied. ‘Now, do it now, please.’

Chris nodded but said,
‘Don’t scream.’

He took of his belt and
told her to bite down on it. With a pop, he twisted her arm back
into place. Tears rushed from Anna’s eyes, but she bit down on the
belt hard, keeping her scream coiled away. After a few minutes of
silence, she scanned the room. Her eyes fell onto the pool of blood
on the cream carpet where it had poured from Claire’s head. Chris
obscured her view of me.

‘
Lucas,
where’s Lucas? Is he alright?’ she asked flustered.

Chris shifted and her
eyes caught mine. They both stayed silent, staring at the scene
before them. Fresh tears sprung in Anna’s eyes and I put my hand up
before she could say anything. I didn’t want her pity, I had my
own. That and crippling guilt, someone else’s would be too much. A
few more moments passed, and Chris moved.

His feet crunched on the
broken glass as he made his way cautiously out of the room. He left
to search the house, and Anna did her best to crawl over and take
my hand. I would have shaken her off, but I held on as if my life
depended on it. Chris returned.

‘
The coast is
clear. We have to move now,’ he ordered. His eyes avoided
Claire.

I laughed, and both Chris
and Anna jumped. I’d never been so angry. The fire in my stomach
was unstoppable, and it spread quickly. It gave me courage, well,
that or foolishness. My throat hurt and my voice rasped, but I
fought the pain and spoke up.

‘
She was
sixteen last month,’ I whispered, and Chris dropped his gaze. ‘I
went with my parents to her party down the road from my house. She
was so happy, so full of life, with a future and dreams, and a
family. She was loved.’

‘
Lucas, we
don’t have time for-’ Chris whispered.

‘
MAKE. THE.
TIME!’ I gasped. ‘She had her whole life ahead of her, and now
she’s dead!’

Anna was silent. She
stared at the wall she had been thrown into, but she listened with
tears in her eyes, her strong façade put aside. I trembled, and
with Claire’s death it was time to know why.

‘
What do you
know?’ I asked.

He did what he normally
did when Anna posed these questions. He waved his hand, dismissed
me, and moved to leave the room.

‘
Don’t you
DARE!’ I shouted and choked. I had to remember my throat had almost
been crushed.

It was enough though.
Chris hesitated in the doorway and turned. His eyes were wide and
his jaw trembled, scared, but not of me. Everyone below might have
been too afraid, too grateful to him for saving them to question.
Anna tried, but short of causing a scene we didn’t need, she let it
go. I was done with that.

‘
For nearly
two weeks we’ve followed you blindly. My Dad is probably dead and I
have no idea what’s happened to my Mum,’ I whispered. ‘I’ve been
shot, and thrown, and nearly blown up. Chased by people I have
known almost all of my life, and I don’t know why!’

Chris stared at his
shoes, struggling with words.

‘
The guns, the
tunnels, the creatures and the snipers and the saving the day,’ I
said, my voice rising. ‘You know things that everyone else doesn’t!
Now you’re gonna tell us why or I will scream until those things
come back.’

Lie.

‘
Lucas…’ he
said.

‘
Speak!
Dammit!’ I screamed.

There was a weight in
Chris’s eyes that I’d never seen before. His face wasn’t hiding his
emotions, and he walked back into the room and shut the door. He
was scared to tell us, but he looked resigned, like he wanted to.
My anger flare had burned out and I shook, afraid to hear what
Chris was about to say. I swallowed it. I couldn’t be the ignorant
boy anymore. This was happening, this was real and it wasn’t going
anywhere.

Stepping in front of us,
and beside the door, he leaned against the wall and slid to the
floor, his arms on his knees.

‘
You’re not
going to like it,’ Chris whispered.

He fell silent, waiting
for us to urge him on, but I’d lost my voice. Anna squeezed my
hand.

‘
The
situation’s already pretty fucked,’ I said. ‘But a little context
might help. I mean, it’s not like it’ll make it any
worse.’

Lie.

Chris glanced up, a
pained expression in his eyes. I stared down at Claire’s lifeless
body.

‘
The ironic
thing is, you already know whose behind all this,’ he sighed sadly.
‘But you’re human. We’re human. And when danger comes knocking, we
rationalise, and twist the danger into something we can
ignore.’

He took a breath and
continued.

‘
Does
Fear of God
mean anything
to the two of you?’ he asked.

I racked my brain but
shook my head. Anna however nodded slightly.

‘
You mean the
religious group that moved into town a few months back?’ she asked
sceptically.

Chris nodded.

‘
So, what?’ I
said. ‘Religions the cause of this?’

‘
No,’ his
laugh was hollow. ‘It’s a smokescreen to ward suspicion. Their
little name isn’t official, just a play on words, treat it like an
acronym.’

‘
FOG
,’ I said as I began to feel like
I was in a lesson, which technically I was. ‘I still don’t get
it.’

‘
Quite
fitting, don’t you think?
FOG
,’ he spat. ‘Like how they
descended upon the town without anyone caring or even watching,
illusive and hidden.’

‘
So they’re
the group behind all this?’ Anna asked. ‘The ones causing all this
death?’

‘
Yes,’ Chris
hesitated. ‘I used to work for them.’

Anna gasped. I had to
replay what he’d said through my head, and then ice settled in my
stomach. I noticed Anna had raised her gun and pointed it levelly
at Chris. Why we were surprised I don’t know.

‘
All this
suspicion surrounding Lucas, and
you’re
the one working for them!?’
Anna said.

Chris’s eyes bored into
Anna’s. He looked sad and ashamed, but not angry.

‘
Used
to, Anna,’ he replied. ‘Not anymore. And the
question of Lucas’s injuries is still up for debate. But no, as I
agreed with you, I don’t think he works for them.’

Thanks.

‘
Go on,’ Anna
whispered.

‘
No,
FOG
came into town as a
religious movement, proclaiming to rally people to its cause. But
it is not a religious body. In fact, it used to be a government
one,’ Chris said. ‘Until they broke off that is. Well they got the
boot.’

‘
What kind of
government group?’ I asked.

‘
A science
division,’ Chris answered, ‘operating on the fringe.’

‘
What did they
do?’ Anna asked. ‘What have they done to the people
here?’

‘
I don’t
know,’ he said. Anna bristled, but he continued, ‘I don’t, Anna. I
wasn’t part of the inner workings. They had me pulled from my
position in the army, and placed me as their head of security. I
worked to stop anyone from finding out about them or stumbling upon
one of the entrances. I have no idea what they got up
to.’

My mind reeled. It was
proof, evidence that the force behind this mess existed, but Chris
knew nothing.

‘
What about
this religious business?’ I said.

‘
I told you.
Most people ignore religious bodies like that, either because they
have their own one, or because they don’t care. It’s perfect to get
by without being noticed,’ he replied.

‘
Why did you
leave?’ Anna asked with a voice hitched with doubt.

Chris looked away from
us, and I was surprised to see tears falling from his eyes. This
had weighed on him, and the gates had opened, everything came
flooding out.

‘
One day
around three weeks ago, I caught some snippets from a couple
scientists,’ he said. ‘They were speaking of collateral damage, and
the change, I don’t know. But one thing they said did make
sense.’

He looked back at
us.

‘
They said the
whole town would be dead when they had finished here,’ Chris
whispered.

The hairs on my body
stood on end.

‘
I went to my
superior, stupidly,’ he spat. ‘I relayed it to him. He didn’t care,
and told me to stick to my job, not question others. But I wouldn’t
let it go. I told him I wouldn’t be a part of slaughtering innocent
people, and he knew I was serious.’

‘
Wait, I
thought you said
you
were the head of security?’ Anna mused.

‘
Of outside, I
told you, I monitored the town and entrances and kept my eyes out
for anyone sent by the division’s old bosses,’ Chris replied. ‘My
superior was head of security for the
inside
, which was a much bigger group
with more clout. He was really in charge, but he doesn’t
matter.’

‘
And after you
told him?’ Anna pushed.

‘
After?’ he
whispered. ‘After that, they chained me down in the tunnels under
the town, dragged my wife in front of me, and killed
her.’

The
Guilt

After his confession,
Chris sagged. He finally broke down and the tears fell freely from
his eyes. We sat that way for a while. Anna was doubtful of his
story to begin with, but once the tears wouldn’t stop, her
expression softened and she looked away. Chris’s story answered
some questions, but asked more in their wake. A rogue government
science division was playing with our lives, I felt like I had
fallen into some movie.

But movies don’t
generally end up with you very real death.

Chris wiped his eyes,
taking shuddering breaths, and then turned back to us.

‘
Why?’ I asked
softly.

He laughed coldly, but it
wasn’t directed at me. ‘Why? To keep me in line, that’s why.
Unfortunately for them it had the opposite effect. I was so angry.
I wanted nothing but to see them all burn.’

‘
If you were
down in the tunnels with them, how come we haven’t stumbled onto
them yet?’ Anna asked fearfully.

‘
When I
gathered you guys and the group down there, I didn’t have time to
think of that. When I saw what was happening, I panicked. I thought
maybe being under their noses would be safer,’ he said. ‘But my
guess is, they wanted you down there. Rats in their maze. It’s the
only conclusion that makes sense, plus, none of us turned into
murdering monsters, so.’

I trembled. I hadn’t
thought of that. How none of us had gained strength and speed, only
to lose sense and reasoning. What made them into killers? Killers,
who couldn’t be talked down, and why hadn’t we become the
same?