Always (12 page)

She and Amy had just had dinner and Caitlin had walked home from a very lively table, still drinking, when her phone rang and she noted the area code.

Taking a deep breath, she sat and picked up.

“Hello?” She knew it was him but she couldn’t bear to act that way.

“Hi. I’ve missed talking to you and I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. I was pouting.”

She’d called him two weeks before, a month after they’d returned from Mexico and had left a message. It had killed her each day when he hadn’t called back. She felt the slap of that inattention more than when he’d left Mexico earlier.

She licked her lips, not quite knowing what to say.

“I’m sorry. I was an arsehole. We’re friends.”

“I’m sorry you were hurt.”

“How’s work?”

“Good. I have an office now.” She laughed and began to relax as she told him about her job, about her cases and her day-to-day life.

Something was missing, she realized. That spark between them, the easy give and take they’d had and she wondered, sadly, if they’d ever truly be the kind of friends they’d been before.

“How’s your work?”

“I just got back from visiting two of the program sites for the grant. It was good, you know? These kids, some of them have nothing but they protect the cameras the program loans them. They’re more careful with their equipment than most people who photograph professionally. I’m impressed. By them and the instructors.”

“Good, kids need that. I’m proud of you for doing it. How are Michael and Laura?”

“They’re fine, they send their love and ask after you. Laura frowns at me a lot.”

“How are you?”

“I’m all right. I went on a date the other day.”

Well, that was unexpected. Well, not entirely, she knew he’d start seeing other women eventually but Christ, it had only been six weeks.

“Oh.”

“It wasn’t…nothing happened. It was stupid. I thought I could get past things. But. Anyway.”

“I have to go. I’m glad you called. I’ll talk to you later.” She couldn’t deal. Her heart was breaking and she just couldn’t hear his voice another moment. Tears pricked her eyes, swelling her throat.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I told you that. It wasn’t anything, I swear to you.”

“Have a good night, Eamon.” She hung up and sobbed, ignoring the phone when it rang moments later.

That was fucking clever. Eamon put the phone down after he left another apology on her voice mail. Why had he told her about the date? The tears in her voice were unmistakable and he was an asshole because for one brief moment, he’d been satisfied that she was in as much emotional turmoil as he’d been.

He scrubbed his hands through hair that was far too long. He needed a haircut and probably a shave too. He’d been utterly and completely miserable since he’d come back from Mexico.

In a moment of loneliness, he’d let a mutual friend fix him up with a woman he’d have gone for before Caitlin. But their date had been pure hell. She’d been one dimensional. Nice, pretty, great breasts, but shallow and silly and…not Caitlin.

His problem was that no one but Caitlin was Caitlin. No other women could be her. Could he live with that?

He grabbed his wallet and his phone and headed over to Laura and Michael’s.

“Caitlin, please don’t take this the wrong way, I don’t want to hurt your feelings. But he’s moving on. He’s dating and he told you about it.
The prick
. You can wallow around or you can move on too. It’s a date. Dinner. With a handsome man who is into you. The drawbacks to this are what exactly?” Anh asked Caitlin over a cup of coffee in the Starbucks down the street from the courthouse. Months had passed since she and Eamon had split but she just didn’t think she could let go.

“I am not ready for a relationship. I’m still in love with Eamon.”

“I didn’t say you were getting married. I said it was dinner. Vittorio’s brother knows you’re on the rebound. He’s going to take it slow. Cat, he’s Italian and hotter than the sun! Come on, he looks a lot like Vittorio only not quite as handsome and he can’t cook. But, so what? It’s dinner. Honey, I don’t want you hurting, but that’s scorched earth. Live your life. You’re beautiful, you have a good job, you’re smart, you have excellent taste in friends. Well, except for Amy, but whatever.”

She sighed. Amy. God, her friend had gone off to Europe to follow Nathan. No good could come of that. She’d tried to say so as diplomatically as she could but Amy didn’t want to hear it. Chances were, Nathan was off fucking Eurotrash and Amy would stumble across it and come home heartbroken. Again.

God. Was Caitlin becoming Amy?

“All right. Give him the okay to call me.”

Anh smiled. “Yay!”

Two days later, Angelo called and she agreed to go to dinner with him the following Friday.

And right after she hung up, Eamon called.

“I forgot to thank you,” he said without ceremony.

“For what?”

“You sent me a birthday card and a present in March and I never said thank you. I drink from the mug every day. I can’t believe you remembered how much I love dragonflies.”

She’d seen the ceramic travel mug on one of her many two-hour strolls through the galleries at etsy.com and had bought it for him on a whim. When she’d sent it and he never responded, she let it be one more indicator things were over between them forever.

“I’m glad you like it.”

She sort of felt guilty speaking to him just then. But fuck it, he started dating already, why should she feel bad? She was the one who told him she loved him. She was the one who practically begged him to be with her. And he’d walked away.

“What are you up to?”

“Not much. Just got home an hour or so ago. Had some dinner. I was trying to decide between reading and watching a DVD. And you?”

“I’m traveling just now so I’m in a hotel room. I’ve been thinking about you and thought I should call. I’ve missed the easiness we had before. I know I didn’t help that with the comment I made about the date.”

“I have to get used to it. I have to accept it. If we’re to be friends, I have to accept that you’ll date. I mean, you’ll have to accept that too.”

“I’m not dating. I had one date. It didn’t feel right. And what do you mean I’ll have to accept it? Accept what?”

“Me dating too.”

He got quiet for long moments and then gave one of those Irish sounds, a cross between a derisive snort and an exhalation of disbelief. It made her smile.

“I don’t have to accept anything. Including the idea that we can’t be together anymore.”

“Which must be why you went on a date. Two weeks ago. Right after I called you and you decided to ignore me.” He was seriously pissing her off.

His Irish got up, thickening his accent and it only made him sexier. She wanted to kick him in the balls.

“One date. I told you, you infuriatingly beautiful woman, it was horrible. She was pretty but dumb. You are beautiful and intelligent. Why would I want anything else?”

“Yes, that’s the question, isn’t it?”

“Why is it, even when we’re fighting, you make me smile?”

“It’s a gift.”

A ruckus sounded in the background.

“What’s going on?”

“Fecking fire alarm. I hate hotels. Well, love, I’m going to hang up so I can stand outside for an hour while the fire department shows up and then they tell us it was a false alarm. I’ll be calling you soon.”

“Get the fuck out of there. What if it isn’t a false alarm? Go! People die in hotel fires. If you’re one of them, I’ll dig you up and kill you again.”

He laughed and curse him, her nipples hardened.

“You still care.”

“I love you, you stupid, selfish, dumbass Irishman. Now get the hell out of that building!” She hung up, pissed off and worried. He’d leave now and hopefully take the stairs. Moron.

“I was on my cell phone, you ridiculously gorgeous American,” he said faintly as he walked down the hall toward the stairwell. “And I love you too.”

He had work to do over the next few days and he wasn’t about to let a little thing like a fire alarm get in his way.

Eamon adjusted his tie and headed out of the elevator toward the front desk. The receptionist looked him up and down and smiled.

“Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for Caitlin Moore. She’s with the SHS Division.”

“Just a moment.” She made a call and turned back to him. “She’s not available.”

“How about Anh Mancuso?”

“Let me try. Can I tell her who’s asking for her?”

“Eamon Blake.”

Three minutes later the tiny, and furious, woman burst through a side door.

“What in blue blazes are you doing here?”

“Hello, Anh, it’s lovely to see you. I’m here to talk to Cat but it seems she’s unavailable. I thought you might be able to help me.”

“Why should I give a tinker’s damn what you want, you fucking heartbreaking asshole?”

“I’ve not heard that phrase in a long time. The tinker’s damn one, asshole I’m afraid I hear more often.” He bowed. “Begging your pardon but I need to see Caitlin. I have to make amends. I’m here to set things right.”

“You’re too late! You abandon her in Mexico, tell her you’re dating, making her cry again and again. In case you haven’t noticed it’s May! May! You two broke up in late February. Your statute of limitations has passed.”

He sighed. He deserved her anger and more, he knew. But he didn’t need to make amends with her, he needed to make them to Caitlin. And he said so.

“Too bad. I’m not telling you shit until you give me a reason.”

Hat in hand, teeth clenched, he told her.

She looked him up and down for long, silent moments until the receptionist coughed behind them.

“Come on, Ms. Mancuso, give the guy a break. Caitlin obvs loves him. She’s been shuffling around here like a zombie, totally unaware of how many dudes are checking out her goodies.” The receptionist looked at him and shook her head. “Caitlin is totally hot. You could lose her. Dudes hit on her all the time. If you make her cry again, I’m going to be totally mad at you and then Ms. Mancuso will make my life hell for making her tell you where Caitlin is right now.”

“Obvs?”

Anh shook her head. “Obviously. She’s on a date, Eamon. With my brother-in-law who has been hot for her for three years. Oh get that look off your face. You told her you were dating. And, I had to force her by reminding her of that fact. I’m not proud, but she needed to move on.” She turned and wrote down the address and name of the restaurant. “They’re here. Don’t make me hunt you down and remove your penis with a rusty spoon.”

He winced and headed back to the elevator.

“Um, thanks. I won’t.”

Christ, the woman was scary.

Almost as scary as Caitlin on a date. Not with him.

He rushed out onto the street and found a cab a block later.

Caitlin sat looking out the windows over the water of Puget Sound. The restaurant was beautiful. The scenery was beautiful and Angelo was undoubtedly beautiful. Why she felt like crying she didn’t know.

She sighed. Okay so she did. She didn’t want this. Instead, she wanted a man who didn’t want her and that made her such a fool.

“Shall I get the check? It’s obvious you’re not ready. I thought I could cheer you up but you’re still gone for this guy, aren’t you?” Angelo took her hand, his face kind.

“I’m sorry. I’m so rude. I feel like a total cliché but it’s not you at all. I’m used to feeling in control, I’m used to getting over things and moving on but I can’t seem to let go.” She wanted to hate Eamon but she didn’t. They still had a friendship but it lacked the depth of intimacy they’d enjoyed before.

“This guy is such a fool to not snap you up. But you can’t force yourself to be ready to move on. Maybe with some time, he’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah. It’s hopeless. He…”

“Caitlin Moira Moore, what are you doing out with a strange man when your man is right here?”

Her head snapped up and openmouthed, she watched Eamon approach, looking better than she’d ever dreamed. He’d nearly shouted it as he entered so the whole restaurant had come to a complete stop to watch the scene unfold.

She couldn’t blame them. He was by far the most breathtaking man she’d ever seen, the light of a mission in his eyes. A shiver went down her spine even as she steeled herself against disappointment.

“I…I had a man but he walked away from me.” She swallowed hard.

“I was a fucking idiot. Here.” He tossed her…a set of keys? Should she be happy? Mad? What the fuck? When he got to his knees before her, she swayed toward the happy camp. “Cat, darlin’, will you marry me?” That did it.

She stared at him, totally speechless.

“Keys?” she squeaked out, dangling the key ring limply in her hand.

“They’re a metaphor. Work with me here.” He sent her a rueful smile. “I was wrong. Lost without you. Because you have my heart, Cat. You own it.” He kissed her hand. “I’ve sold my condo in LA. I’m here for you. There’s nowhere I can be truly at home without you with me. Will you help us find a place here in Seattle? A place we can both work with? Studio space for me, a decent commute for you? Be with me, Caitlin. Be my wife. End the lonely misery I’ve endured since February when we split. Let’s build a life together. Please.”

He wasn’t asking her to give anything up. He was meeting her more than halfway. He was
choosing
her, choosing a life
with
her and there was nothing in the world she wanted more than to be with him.

She leapt from her seat and into his lap, knocking them both over in the process. She rained kisses all over his face as he laughed, not letting go. Not letting go.

“Is that a yes then?”

“Yes. Yes!”

“Aye, I love you so much, Caitlin. I’ve loved you for a long time and when you weren’t in my life every day, everything went all gray.”

“That’s really good.” She nodded, helping him up.

“This is even better.” He pulled a ring from his pocket and slid it on her finger.

“Oh, you’re right.” She turned and remembered Angelo. Mortification swept through her. “Ohmigod, I’m so sorry. Eamon, this is Angelo Mancuso, Anh’s brother-in-law.”

Angelo smiled and stood. “No apologies necessary, Caitlin.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. Eamon’s grip on her tightened. “I was wondering if this jerk would come to his senses. Vittorio owes me twenty bucks.” He turned to Eamon and gave him the once over. “Do you have her? You’ll get her home safely? If so, I’ll be on my way.”

“I’ll be taking care of her from now on. Thank you.” Some sort of uber secret man language thing passed between them and God help her, she thought it was cute.

“You’d better. Because if you slip up, I’ll be back.” He blew a kiss at Caitlin and turned to leave as Eamon pulled her into a hug again and she didn’t ever want to let go.

“On a date.” He snorted, kissing her soundly, letting her pull back a bit so she could look up at him.

“You went on a date first! Anyway, he wasn’t you.”

“Got that right. Come on back to your place so I can spread you out and show you just how much no one but me is me.”