Witch Weigh (A Paranormal Romantic Comedy) (3 page)

Liam knelt in front of her chair and reached for one of her feet. His touch was too intimate for Tessa’s comfort. She didn’t trust the feelings coursing through her body when he touched her because they could well lead straight to wild abandonment if he didn’t let go of her ankle. She had to get out of there.

“Tell me which fairy tale is your favorite,” Liam said.

“I don’t like fairy tales.”

Their eyes locked. “I bet you like the story of the big bad wolf.” He grinned.

“Shoe.” She wiggled her foot. “Off. Please.”

“Not until you tell me which fairy tale this reminds you of.”

“Cinderella.” Tessa was reluctant to confess that she’d read the silliest of all the fairy tales.

“Very good.” Liam smiled again. “Now tell me why.”

“Why?” She needed a glass of wine. Pronto.

“Keep up with me, Tessa. Why did you say Cinderella?”

“Because these pink shoes are as ugly as glass slippers.”

“What else?”

“You’re no Prince Charming, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

He laughed, a warm sound that was just as attractive as his smile. The laughing and smiling had to stop. It interfered with her thinking and she needed to keep her wits about her.

“And what’s left if you take away the glass slipper and Prince Charming?”

“The pumpkin?” Tessa’s heart started to race. The tiniest inkling of where this was going hit her hard.

“What else?” he coaxed.

“The fairy godmother.”

“Excellent. You’ve got it now.” Liam slipped the pink shoes off of her feet and placed them next to her chair. He stood and drew her to stand in front of him.

“You’re my fairy godmother?” Her voice was barely above a whisper but it was all she could manage. This could not be happening to her.

Liam nodded. “That I am, with one notable difference.” He winked.

Tessa stared. Was he insane? Was she stuck with him? Nothing she had done to aggrieve the council warranted this kind of punishment. Pink blinged out shoes and a sexy, incorrigible fairy godfather? She so did not deserve this.

“You look like you’re having entirely too much fun,” she complained.

“It’s called a sense of humor, Contessa. We’ll see if we can pick you up one along the way.”

Along the way? “Where are we going?” she barely succeeded at keeping the panic out of her voice.

“I won’t spoil the fun by telling you.” He pulled her close and twirled her around so that her back was to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist. His breath was warm, his mouth just inches from her ear. “Let’s go. Adventure awaits us.”

“I don’t want to.” Tessa tried to wiggle out of his grasp but it was too late. They were on their way.

Chapter Four

Caught in a swirl of gold glitter and dizzying speed, Tessa clung to Liam’s arms wrapped around her waist. She still wasn’t sure if he was really her fairy godperson or a nutcase who was kidnapping her but she held tight anyway.

She stepped away from Liam the moment her feet touched the ground. Feet. She glanced down. Damn. The girly girl slippers were back.

“Are you all right, Tessa?”

“I could have lived without the muzak during the trip.” She dusted off the tiny bit of gold sparkles that clung to her thankfully still black dress. Curious as to where she’d been taken, she looked around.

They’d landed in a virtual palace of pink.

Ewww. The décor was a combination of shabby cottage chic and Las Vegas tacky. Who could stand to live in a place like this?

“Is this going to be my cell?” she asked.

Liam smiled. Again. Did he not know how to frown? She watched as he sat on a cabbage rose print overstuffed armchair. He looked oddly at ease.

“Cell? Don’t be silly. Aren’t you going to be a good hostess and offer me a beer?”

Hostess? Had she landed smack in the middle of Liam Kennedy’s harem? Was she supposed to be his new sex slave? Sex slave slash cocktail waitress?

“Not unless I could poison it.” She took a closer look around. They were in a condo judging by the floor plan. A floor plan that reminded her very much of her own condo.

Oh, no. It couldn’t be hers. No. She whirled around, eyes anxiously taking in her surroundings. Nothing was familiar except the layout. Her condo was done in minimalist gray tones with chrome furniture and low lighting.

Just to be sure she headed through to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. There wasn’t a vegetable in sight. Not a single wine bottle either. Definitely not hers. This one was stocked with beer and Chinese carry out boxes. What would that equal? Sixty thousand calories?

She eyed the beer bottles. Perhaps she’d try that whole catching flies with honey thing Aunt Trudy had talked about for years. She took one bottle and then another. Maybe getting Liam drunk would allow her to gather information and thus enable her to devise a plan to get out of this mess.

It was worth a try.

***

Liam took one look at Tessa’s face and knew she was up to something.

“Cold beer.” She deposited both bottles on the table between his chair and the sofa. She hitched her skirt up and settled onto the sofa, drawing her legs up beside her. She pointed to the beer. “How exactly do they open?”

“Not with magic, if that’s what you’re hinting at.”

She frowned. She did that a lot lately. She should watch that or the wrinkles would start to show in a couple of hundred years.

“I’m not hinting at anything, Mr. Kennedy. I’m just curious how one goes about drinking from a bottle.”

He grabbed a beer. “It’s Liam, and let’s skip the Mr. Kennedy routine. Old fashioned politeness doesn’t sound natural coming from you.” In a much practiced move he held the beer bottle against the edge of the coffee table and flipped the lid off. He handed it to her and opened the second bottle for himself.

He held it up. “Cheers.”

Tessa looked at the bottle as if it was an alien object before she took a tentative sip.

Her grimace made him laugh. He took a long swig and savored the coldness as it went down.

“Go ahead, fire away,” he told her.

“What?” She sounded genuinely confused. She looked oddly out of place considering this was her own condo. And he’d bet nine and a half out of ten dollars she didn’t even know it.

“I can see you’re burning up with questions so shoot.”

“I do have one question.” She twirled her beer bottle as she spoke, without taking a second sip. “If you’re my fairy godperson, aren’t you supposed to grant me three wishes?”

He laughed. He couldn’t help it. She was so clueless.

“No, that would be a genie, a different game altogether.” He took one last swig of beer and set the empty bottle on the table. “But, just for the sake of conversation and getting to know each other, tell me what your first wish would be if I were your genie.”

“You’ll do it?”

“If I can. Go ahead, your reasonable wish is my command.”

Tessa suddenly looked as satisfied as a cat with a canary’s feather in its teeth.

“I wish you’d take off your shirt.”

That certainly wasn’t what he was expecting to hear. Contessa Von Hellengaard was a witch in a million. Someone at Fairy Godmother Inc. had done him a good turn indeed when they’d assigned Tessa’s case to him. Of course, they’d likely just wanted to pass the buck after reading her file.

He stood and pulled his t-shirt off over his head.

The look on her face was priceless.

He watched her eyes wander over his body. He didn’t feel the least bit self-conscious. Not after the hours he put in at the gym every morning. It was actually nice to have his hard work appreciated.

“Turn around.” Her voice sounded far less imperious than usual.

He did as she bid. He knew what she was after and it wasn’t her first fairy experience between silk sheets with him. She was looking for wings.

He was more than happy to give her an eyeful.

***

Tessa drew in her breath, grateful Liam’s back was toward her and he couldn’t see her shock. She hadn’t even been sure he really had wings at all, and these certainly weren’t what she had imagined them to be. She wanted to touch them.

She took a step closer. His shoulders and back were sculpted muscles unlike any she’d ever seen. She reached out but hesitated.

“Go ahead,” Liam said. “They’re real.”

Tessa gingerly laid her fingers on the base of Liam’s neck and traced along the magnificently intricate winged pattern. An electric sensation sizzled through her fingers. His skin was smooth to the touch. Was this a tattoo? No. The wings were gold against his bronzed skin. They didn’t resemble the dark, inky tattoos she’d seen on mortals.

She stopped abruptly. What was that feeling? Energy coursed through her hands. Her magic was back. Delighted, she pulled her hands from his back and lifted her forefinger. She tapped it against her palm. Nothing. She tried harder.

Liam turned to face her, his expression unreadable. He reached for his t-shirt and slipped it over his head and proceeded to tuck it into his Levis without taking his eyes off of her.

“You haven’t earned back your magic, Tessa.”

“But I felt something,” she protested. She tapped her finger impatiently against her palm. “I know I did.”

“Chemistry perhaps, but not magic.”

Smug bastard. Tessa longed to be anywhere other than in this gaudy little condo. She glanced at the door. What good would running do? She didn’t even know where she was. Besides, she was Contessa Von Hellengaard, and she wasn’t about to let a fairy get the better of her. She straightened her shoulders.

“Nice tattoo.” She stepped back. “Would you like another beer?”

But Liam was already on his way into the kitchen. She heard the refrigerator door open and the rustle of paper carry-out cartons.

“It won’t work, you know,” he called out from the kitchen. “Fairies can’t get drunk.”

Tessa bit her lip. Was she really that transparent? Or could he read her thoughts? Ancient spirits help her if that was true.

“What would you like?” Liam stepped just outside of the tiny kitchen, a white box in each hand. “Shrimp Foo Young? Or Mongolian Beef?”

“I’d like some answers.”

“Ask me a question then.”

She waited until he stopped rummaging through a silverware drawer. “How long are we stuck here for?”

A microwave door shut and she listened as he punched in the warming time. He reappeared in the hallway. “What’s wrong with this place?” He looked around, his hands casually stuffed in his back pockets.

“Are you kidding me? It’s like Barbie does Vegas here.” She shuddered. “When can we go?”

“Well, I want lunch even if you don’t.” He gathered his plate from the microwave and seated himself at the cream rubbed wooden farm table. “We’re here until you learn your first lesson.”

Tessa struggled to find any semblance of patience that might be lurking within her. She came up empty. “I can’t learn anything in a place like this.” She clenched her fists. “Who can think with all this pink everywhere?”

He paused, his shrimp laden fork halfway to his mouth. “For the love of heaven, all right. I’ll help you this once but don’t be expecting favors all along our journey. We’re here until you can recognize your surroundings.”

“Let’s go then because I am one thousand percent certain I’ve never been in a place this vulgar before.”

“You’re sure?”

She nodded. “Mr. Kennedy, I bet you anything you want that not one of my petite little feet has ever stepped in this room.”

“You’d bet anything?” he asked.

“Anything.” It was a bet she’d win. It felt good to be sure of something again.

“A kiss?”

The look on his face was one of pure self-assured amusement. Men, wings or no wings, were such fools. This one she had in the bag.

“Yes, prove to me I’ve been here before and I’ll kiss you like you’ve never been kissed.”

He laughed. “This shouldn’t be so easy or so fun.” He threw down his napkin and came to stand in front of her. “Touch me. Just put your hand on my arm.”

She hesitated only briefly before she laid her hand on his forearm.

In the time it took her to blink, the room went from pink to gray.

Chapter Five

She was home! Tessa could hardly believe her good fortune. Safely back in her elegant and tastefully decorated condo, she’d made the trip without the benefit of either easy listening music or pixie dust. Everything was just as she’d left it this morning, right down to the calla lilies on the glass top table in front of the plasma screen tv.

“Ha, a loser’s bet if ever you made one, Mr. Kennedy.” Tessa spread her arms wide, supremely confident now that she was home. “Look around. You’re now in the land of good taste and elegance. We’re a million miles away from that pink nightmare.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Now, if you don’t mind, it’s been a long day and I want to be alone.” She pointed to the front door. “That way out.”

“I’m not in a hurry. Besides, I have unfinished business here. Something I need to do.”

Tessa raised a delicately arched eyebrow. “To reform miserable, rotten me?”

“Later, yes. But first something else.” He took a step toward her.

She refused to give him the satisfaction of backing up. That would be backing down. She stood her ground but was forced to tilt her head up to look into his eyes.

“And what exactly are you planning to do?” she asked. “You can’t think I’m actually going to kiss you?”

He cocked his head to the side. “Hmm, a kiss. Interesting idea. But no, what I really want,” he lowered his voice and leaned in as if he had a secret to share, “is to finish my lunch.”

With an ever so quick wink, he headed toward her dining table. Not a farmhouse one either, her table was a Danish inspired smoked glass piece she’d had custom made. She watched as Liam settled himself in a chair and picked up a fork.