Winter Hearts (29 page)

“Don’t ask.”

“He said he loves you.”

He slammed his mug down on the wooden butchering block. “Why can’t you leave it alone!”

With a hurt look on her face, she walked into the back. Luke groaned. A customer walked in just then, so he couldn’t go after her. “Luke, you’re back in Boston,” the woman said.

He hated having to smile and pretend all was well when it wasn’t, but he did it anyway. “Just for a while. I took up a claim out west. What will you have?”

“Yes, your ma told me. I’ll have two of those and a pound of that.” She pointed. “Are you married yet?” Two pork chops and a pound of minced beef were wrapped up in white butcher’s paper.

This was why Luke had hated working in the shop. “Who’d have me?” He smiled.

They exchanged more pleasantries until the woman bade him a cheery good-bye and left to the sound of the bell on the door tinkling.

“I’m sorry, Ma,” he said the moment she walked back into the shop.

She handed him a card. “Go.”

Horrified, Luke looked at it. It was the card Sam had tried to give him. She must have gone out into the yard and found it. A sudden rush of heat flooded his cheeks. This was not a subject he could discuss with his mother.

She spoke calmly and gently. “Go and meet him. Sort out your differences.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying, Ma.”

“I do.” She picked up her tea and drank. “I want you to be happy. Go and meet him.”

He didn’t know what to do. Despite his anger at Sam, he loved him desperately. “He’s going to get married.”

“Then wish him well and say good-bye, but don’t leave it like that, or you’ll always regret it.”

Hardly able to believe he was having this conversation with his mother, he said, “I said I’d help out in the shop today.”

“I’ve managed the shop many a time by myself. I can do it now. You go and clean yourself up.”

In the kitchen Luke washed and then went upstairs to change his clothes. Dressed in a clean shirt, a tie, and the smart black suit with the velvet collar he had not taken with him to the west, he went downstairs. He almost left through the back door, but he had to see Ma again to make sure she was not angry with him now that she knew why he had never married.

“That suit still fits you nicely,” she said when he walked into the shop. “You look very handsome.”

“Do you hate me, Ma?” He couldn’t bear it if she did, but he’d have to accept it. He’d trusted his grandmother once, but that trust was ill-placed.

“She told me years ago.”

Confused, he shook his head.

“Grandma told me. Why did you tell her and not me? I know you were always close to her, but why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to hate me. I thought Grandma would understand, but she didn’t. After that, I was never going to tell you.”

“Is that why you went away?” she asked.

“Partly,” he said simply. “I went for a number of reasons, but that was one of them. Why did you keep asking me about a wife if you knew?”

She smiled and shrugged. “I suppose I was trying to get you to confide in me, and I was disappointed when you didn’t. I wish you had before this. It may sound strange coming from your mother, but I don’t really see anything wrong with it, except I’d hate anyone to hurt you because of it.”

Too late for that
. “I can look after myself, Ma.” He pulled her into a tight hug. “Thank you,” he whispered.

The door opened, setting off the bell. “Go and meet your friend, Luke. Enjoy yourself,” she said, turning a bright smile on the customer.

* * * *

Luke looked at the card again before he rang the bell of number six Acorn Street. It was a fashionable street of tall, narrow houses made into flats. The young man he barely remembered from the Cavalier Tavern opened the door. At the sight of Luke, a huge smile spread over his face.

“I’m so glad you came, Luke. He’s a mess,” he said dramatically. “I’ll leave you to it. Second floor at the front.” With those words he was gone, striding off along the street, his long hair flying behind him.

Luke walked up the carpeted staircase and along the landing. The house was very big and fancy with gaslights and red flock wallpaper. Without bothering to knock, he tried the door and walked into a large, bright living room. Sitting at a desk by the window, Sam asked, “Who was it, Court?”

When he got no answer, he looked over his shoulder. “Luke!” He put down his pen, rose, and hurried toward him, arms outstretched. “I was writing to you to explain myself.”

Luke raised his hand, palm outward, making Sam lower his arms and stop where he was. “I want to talk to you. That’s all. Just talk. Sit down,” he ordered.

Sam went to the leather sofa and sat down on the edge, hands clasped. He appeared nervous, and he never took his eyes off Luke, who sat on a chair close by, but not so close that they could touch. Ma was right. They needed to talk, though the expectant face, so sweet and open, and the lovely brown eyes told him he would never be able to completely put Sam behind him. Sam would always be part of him, but there must be a proper ending. He had never had that with Holland.

“I’m so glad you came, darling man. I prayed you would.”

“You and your prayers.” The anger he had decided all the way there he would not show was coming out. Calming himself, he said, “There’re a couple of things I need to know, and I expect honesty.”

“Anything.” The desperate look in Sam’s eyes said he was eager to please.

“Why did you lie to me?”

“Because I thought you wouldn’t want me if you knew who I was after what you went through with Holland.”

Casting his eyes to the ceiling, Luke said, “You lied before I ever told you about Holland, before you ever knew I liked men.”

“That’s true,” Sam acknowledged. “I wanted to make my own way; that’s why I left Boston and decided to go for a land claim. All my life I’ve had everything handed to me. That doesn’t mean I didn’t work hard. I always studied hard through school, and then at Harvard the work was very intense. My parents made us collect money for charities even as children. It’s all part of the Brahmin ethic. But I wanted to see if I could make it on my own, fending for myself as plain Sam Smith.”

“You didn’t manage very well, did you?” Luke knew he sounded sarcastic, but he didn’t care.

Sam shook his head. “I’d have left by early summer if it hadn’t been for you.”

“You wanted to play at being an ordinary workingman before you went back to your rich life again.”

Cheeks growing pink, Sam nodded. “I knew I’d have to come back eventually to take over the family holdings. I’m an only son. I have no choice. But I never anticipated meeting you and falling in love. Why do you think I wanted to stay with you after that first night you took me in? I could easily have stayed at one of the hotels in town. Money was not a problem even though I said it was. It was you, Luke. I wanted to stay with you.”

“So you really did love me?” Luke asked.

“Did? I do. I love you. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. You have no idea how sorry I am that I lied to you. I wish I’d been honest from the start, but I don’t believe you would have had anything to do with me if you’d known where I came from.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t,” Luke agreed. “So tell me. When are you going to marry Miss Quincy?”

Genuine surprise registered in Sam’s face. “Where did you hear about her?”

The memory of the day he arrived back at the claim after being in jail came flooding back. Mr. Ingram’s kindness and then the letter from the solicitor. He had truly felt for a while that life was not worth the pain. “I got a letter from your solicitors telling me they would not follow up on a charge of sodomy against me as long as I never contacted you again. They said you were going to marry a Miss Quincy.”

Sam got on his knees in front of Luke but did not dare touch him. “I’m so sorry. I only found out about that letter today from my father. He had it sent. As for Isobel, I never intended to marry her. I told her so at Christmas. Both our families wanted the alliance, but I refused. It would be cruel to Isobel. She doesn’t deserve a husband who cannot find her attractive. She’s a sweet girl. I wish her well, but it’s you I want.”

Relief washed through Luke at the knowledge that Sam was not going to marry as Holland had, for appearances. But he still didn’t trust him. “You will eventually, though, won’t you? You’ll marry someone.”

Sam grabbed for Luke’s hands, but he pulled them away. “No! I don’t want anyone but you. Why can’t you understand that? The only commitment I want to make is to you, if you’ll have me.”

“Your family will always have a greater hold on you than me. They can have me arrested. They’ve done it once. They would be a constant threat to my freedom.”

Tears brimmed in Sam’s eyes, which Luke suspected were more from frustration than anything else. “My father promised me this morning that if I was discreet and moved out of the house, he would not pursue anything against you again. If they never want to see me again, I’ll live with that, but I can’t live without you.”

“Do you mean that?” Luke so wanted to believe it. Just looking at Sam sitting so close after not seeing him for over two months was hard. He wanted to kiss him and hug him. He wanted to fuck him. To distract himself, he rose and walked quickly to the window.

Down below in the street, life went on. In this affluent neighborhood, well-dressed people walked by. Across the street a lush park spread out with happy couples wandering by the pond and children playing under the watchful eyes of nannies. What must it be like to live a carefree life? Never having to look over your shoulder. Having your family joyous that you were in love instead of them being horrified that you chose your own sex to the opposite. Life would be so easy.

Coming up behind him, Sam hugged him around the chest as he’d often done at the claim. “I love you, sweetheart, darling, dear man.”

Luke couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted Sam so badly that he all but dragged him over to the couch and pushed him down on his back. Straddling him, he unfastened Sam’s trousers. Luke’s jacket was restricting his shoulders, so he peeled it off and tossed it to the floor. “Get over on your belly,” he demanded.

Sam wriggled over while Luke still straddled him and unfastened his trousers. Clear fluid leaked from Luke’s cock. With both hands, he spread Sam’s ass and let the drops fall onto his hole. Then, pressing the tip of his cock there, he pushed. “It hurts,” Sam cried. His face was turned to the side, and Luke could see by his open mouth and tight closed eyes that he was in pain. He pulled out and spat into his hand to add more lubrication. Watching Sam’s face, he entered him again. This time Sam’s expression softened, and he moaned. With Sam content, Luke began to fuck him.

Pleasure rushed through his stomach muscles and thighs. In the weeks since he’d last seen Sam, he had missed being close to him, and now that he was inside him, he could not hold back his climax. With a great rush of pleasure and satisfaction, he spent with loud cries, not caring who heard. The neighbors be damned.

Getting his breath back, he still sat across Sam’s hips as if he were riding him. “I’ve missed you,” he said quietly.

He climbed off, fastening his trousers as he did so. Sam rolled onto his back, his cock still hard. Sitting on the floor beside the couch, Luke leaned over to take Sam’s cock into his mouth. The taste and the smell were familiar and comforting. Already aroused, Sam spent quickly, flooding Luke’s mouth with his warm fluid. Luke swallowed it, feeling satisfied and relieved, and sat up. Sam rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around Luke’s neck. They kissed long and softly, neither wanting to stop. Sam broke the kiss just long enough to lick Luke’s face.

“Stop it. You’re like a puppy.” Luke laughed with relief and happiness.

“I love you,” Sam said. “Will you take me back?”

Feeling hopeful and scared at the same time, Luke asked, “How can we make it work? It’s not just all the people against us; it’s our lives and how different they are. You have to live here and work with your family. I have to live on the claim to keep it.”

The door burst open, and Courtland breezed in.

“Sammy, did I give you enough time?” he called out. “Oh! Just barely enough. Have you finished?” He giggled. “Guess who I found on the street? I invited him to have dinner with us since we’re all of a like mind.”

To Luke’s horror, Holland Endicott followed Courtland into the living room.

“What have we here?” Holland said. “Luke, the butcher, who likes rich men. When Choate told me what was going on, I couldn’t resist coming to see you again, Luke.”

Luke got to his feet. Sam rose also and buttoned his trousers.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Luke asked Courtland, who looked at him and then at Holland. The confusion on his face made it plain he had no idea what had transpired between the men in the past.

Courtland waved his finger back and forth. “You know each other? How?”

“He likes to pass himself off as a workingman,” Luke said, “and lure in unsuspecting younger men. Then he tosses them aside when he’d bored. Don’t you, you evil bastard?”

“And he propositioned me on Christmas night,” Sam threw in.

Luke turned to look at Sam. “He what?”

“He asked me to have an affair with him. As if I’d want a man like him.”

“You’re a good-looking boy, Samuel. You can’t blame me for trying.” Holland’s smarmy smile was more than Luke could stand. With his fist raised, he crossed the carpet between them in several long strides and landed a punch in Holland’s face. The splattering sound and the crack that followed were sickening.

Courtland screamed.

The blow knocked Holland onto his back. His hands flew to his face, and Luke watched with pleasure as the blood streamed between the man’s fingers.

“Oh God! I had no idea. I would never have brought him here.” Courtland ran for the kitchen, returning with a used and already soggy tea towel, which he thrust at Holland. The tea towel was very little use as Holland attempted to stanch the flow of blood from his nose. “You’d better go, Endicott,” Courtland told him. With small cries of dismay, he helped the man to his feet, trying to avoid getting blood on his clothes.