‘What The Hell Was I Thinking?!!’ - Confessions of the World’s Most Controversial Sex Symbol (24 page)

I was relieved to have the extra source of income with eBay, because the rumors about ECW’s financial hardships had swirled into a whirlwind around the community of wrestlers and employees of the company. At that point, the cat was more or less out of the bag as their weekly TV show, ‘ECW Hard Core TV,’would also aired its last episode on December 30th of that month. That was a great show, I stole most of Francine’s thunder by taking a big fucking pile driver off the second rope from Rhino, which was pretty scary, but exhilarating at the same time. I knew I’d found my calling, and wasn’t planning on going anywhere. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for ECW. Paul wasn’t telling anyone too much, but we all knew the writing was on the wall, and while it was a sad time on one level, I was inspired on another out of my sheer love for the sport and desire to truly make my own mark on the business. I wanted to do something no one had ever achieved before in the male-dominated world of wrestling: Become its first legitimate female promoter. My official move in that direction wouldn’t come until later in 2001, but the seed had been planted in my mind. I ended my year a long way from where I’d begun it, and knew that I was exactly where I wanted to be in my life, and I wasn’t planning to leave anytime soon.

In early January, I appeared on what we later found out would be ECW’s final Pay-Per-View, ‘Guilty As Charged,’ which aired on January 7th, 2001 at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City. According to Wikipedia’s accounts of the PPV’s highlight matches; Bilvis Wesley defeated Mike Bell, Cyrus and Jerry Lynn defeated Christian York and Joey Matthews.  Before the match, Da Baldies attacked Christian York and Joey Matthews; Danny Doring and Amish Road Kill defeated Hot Commodity ( Julio Dinero and EZ Money) (w/Chris Hamrick, and Elektra) to retain the ECW Tag Team Championship. Nova defeated Chris Hamrick (w/Elektra); Tommy Dreamer defeated C.W. Anderson in an ‘I Quit’ match; The Unholy Alliance (Yoshihiro Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck) (w/Sinister Minister) defeated Kid Kash and Super Crazy and The F.B.I. (Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke) (w/Sal E. Graziano) in a ThreeWay Dance. Whipwreck and Tajiri pinned Guido with a Double Tiger Suplex to become #1 contenders to the ECW Tag Team Championship. Simon Diamond and Swinger (w/Dawn Marie,The Blue Boy, and Jasmin St. Claire) fought Balls Mahoney and Chilly Willy to a no-contest. The match ended after Rhino came out and attacked all four wrestlers. The Sandman defeated Steve Corino (w/Jack Victory) (c) and Justin Credible (w/Francine) in a Three-Way Tables, Ladders, Chairs and Canes match to win the ECW World Heavyweight Championship. Sandman grabbed the title to win the match. Rob Van Dam defeated Jerry Lynn (w/Cyrus); Van Dam pinned Lynn after a Van Terminator with Joel Gertner holding the steel chair; and Rhino defeated The Sandman to win the ECW World Heavyweight Championship.’

there wasn’t a need for me to come to any of ECW’s house shows. She even went as far as to call me and Elektra up in January, trying to tell us not to come to the road show in Pinebrook, Arkansas, even though we’d been advertised for the show. Clearly, she knew attendance was going down and didn’t want any other female star threatening what little spotlight she had left because she was a jealous bitch. Naturally, I showed up anyway. I had a big signing that weekend as well but I knew the writing was on the wall for my future with ECW. Thankfully, the Blue Meanie and I did among the wrestling community, and as a team, we continued our routine of independent wrestling shows and signings, which we built enough momentum from the previous year to continue without a hiccup. Brian had become a good friend to me at this point, even if we weren’t romantically linked. We trusted each other, and shared the same love for wrestling, which was the most important thing in making our partnership work.

Regardless of whatever happened with ECW, Paul Heyman had created arguably the biggest independent wrestling company in the history of the sport, and Rob Black could NEVER even dream of coming close to hitting that mark. They were desperate to get any kind of affiliated press they could, even if it centered on pointing out the latter contrast between the levels the 2 camps were on. I know this because Rob Black’s camp had continued to talk shit about ECW after we’d so publicly and completely humiliated them by kicking their asses out of the ECW Arena the previous fall. XPW’s claims kept getting wilder and wilder than the craziest story line I could ever think up for one of my matches. I even heard that Rob’s girlfriend Janet was talking shit about me, claiming she had to hold my hand when I did my in-the-ring scenes, and that I couldn’t do anything for myself. I beg to differ, it was quite the opposite: I was probably one of the most independent women working in that business, and I didn’t require anyone to help me with anything. She’s just a dumb cunt trying to run her nasty lips, and what she didn’t understand was: A) NO ONE in the wrestling or related media took Rob seriously, and B) All her shit talking did was gain me more press, which meant I was doing something right.The day they stop talking shit about me is the worst day ever. People have always loved to hate me, and that’s good. I used it to my advantage in the ring because the fans LOVED it! They ate up the notoriety and the controversy, and Francine couldn’t STAND it that I got so much love from that crowd, and Rob definitely had to HATE it! The bottom line was XPW had no street credibility. Just to underscore that point further, in February, Paul Heyman sold ECW to the WWF, something Rob could NEVER have pulled off, given how much smaller his little joke of a company was.

I was getting indie wrestling and dance bookings left and right, and amazingly, Francine and I kept working together at a lot of the signings, because promoters would book us together. I knew it was business, and went along with it, and I consistently outdrew her, which was an added bonus. She was really fucking snotty to fans at signings, and I told her she needed to stop or she wouldn’t get the kind of signings we were, and I made sure that it didn’t reflect on me by being as cool to fans as I’d always been. I had a lot more practice at that than Francine did, both because of the considerably larger size of my fan base due to my followings in both porn and wrestling, and she just never understood that fans are the reason she had any fame at all. I know that seems obvious, but not every celebrity sees it when they’re living in their own little bubble, as Francine was. She didn’t seem to realize that bubble was already leaking air and was about to burst.

At that same time, I was getting a lot of offers from other independent wrestling federations to come wrestle for them, but I felt guilty about talking to any of them seriously because none were interested in the Blue Meanie. One of those who’d called had been the XWF, which sounded like a legitimate operation and like something too good to pass up on.The event they wanted me to appear on wasn’t until later in the summer, and I agreed to do it contingent on their also taking Brian along, which they agreed to. I felt like he and I were a team — both professionally in the ring, and personally in that we clicked so well as best friends, even though we weren’t involved romantically, in spite of press reports at that time. It’s how we spun it because it sounded better, and made Brian, a.k.a. the Blue Meanie and I appear more like a package deal to promoters, some of whom never would have been interested in booking Brian without me. The same extended to a lot of the signings we did and truthfully, many of our indie bookings as well. I was paid for each indie booking, plus I got to keep all the photo money I made from the wrestling fan signings, so I was absolutely the main bread winner in our dynamic. I felt bad for him as well because wrestling was all he knew, he had no experience earning money outside of that niche, so I did everything I could to help his profile stay afloat. In between gigs, I even paid him to roadie for me at dance gigs until the next indie booking came along. We’d get flown in for some shows, but for a lot of them, we’d get our hotel and gas money paid for. As happy as I was living my dream, Brian would get so depressed at times I felt like I had no choice. At times, when we were out on our endless road trips to and from gigs over the course of March and April, there were times when I would even wonder the inevitable question: did I do the right thing by giving up porn for wrestling? It’s always 20/20 with hindsight, but I felt that I had done the right thing, so much so that another accomplishment for me that spring was shutting down my porn site completely, I didn’t want a thing to do with it anymore. Unfortunately, the asshole who was hosting it for me didn’t want to go along with it, so I had to battle this domain company to get it taken down offline. Eventually, they took the domain name away and gave it back to me since I’m the trademark owner of my professional name, Jasmin St. Claire.

I even tried out for the WWF that spring, but there were so many politics to that place, and because of my porn past, they were worried about how it would go over with mainstream wrestling fans. I thought that was bullshit, because I don’t believe one’s past should dictate their future, but apparently Vince McMahon did because I was passed up for a spot in their federation. Paul Heyman did everything he could to get me in the door. Everyone was really nice to me at my audition, all the female talent was really cool — a nice change of pace from Francine — even Vince was nice to my face, because he had to be. As nice as everyone was to me, as usual, Brian was treated like shit, they even kicked him out of the arena’s backstage locker room, and I felt really bad for him, because the morale he had about his own self was lower than ever at that point. Thankfully, Jimmy Hart, who ran XWF — another wrestling league — had been in touch with me throughout the spring about coming to work for his company, whose first shows were scheduled for later that year. Brian and I continued our road shows throughout May, and my dance gigs and indie bookings carried us through the uncertainty wrestling was going through as a business as Vince McMahon continued to consolidate his chokehold on the industry. One thing I definitely took note of was the opening in the market for new indie blood in the way of Wrestling Federations, and quietly ideas were beginning to brew about starting my own company. Part of what first gave that idea was the fact that ex-ECW wrestlers who Vince hadn’t picked up were even going over to Rob Black’s company XPW to get work.

Heading into the summer of 2001, things between Brian and I were at a low personally because he’d thrown a public tantrum before an indie show in Indiana, which pissed me off. That’s not how you behave, and I wasn’t having it, even though the show itself went well. He was lucky that the wrestling community- especially on the indie circuit- is like one big extended family. For everyone to be like a family in porn would be incest, but in wrestling, because of the love I got, the promoters were willing to deal with Brian. It wasn’t all his fault — the WWE was horrible to him, they’d made him lose all that weight, and then hadn’t hired him back. I thought he was a talent, which is a large part of why I stuck with him, and without me, he absolutely would have been dead weight, professionally-speaking. Thankfully, things brightened that July when XWF sent me my contract to review, which was a big relief. I was eager to be hooked up again with a mainstay operation, and they had a television syndication deal in the works, so I happily signed on the dotted line. There was every reason in the world to feel confident too: they had a lot of money behind them, a wrestling legend in Jimmy Hart at the helm of the ship, and a great slogan:
‘No more prima donnas, no more politics, in your face!’
The company was owned and operated by wrestlers, with partners including Brian Knob, Greg Valentine, Hulk Hogan, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Jerry Lawler, and a host of other wrestling legends I’d grown up on, so I was elated to be in their professional company.

I spent the balance of the summer training in prep for the XWF shows, and things were going well until September 11th, when the World Trade Center was attacked. I was in L.A. when it happened, and was freaking out all day as I tried to get in touch with my mother and friends, and luckily everyone was safe. Like everyone, I was in disbelief, but relieved my loved ones were okay. I shot a cover for a Cleopatra Records Limp Bizkit Tribute album the next day, and tried to go on, but as a New Yorker born and raised, it changed my sense of security. We returned to New York that October before the XWF shows, and you could still smell the smoke and burnt flesh in the air, it was horrible.

Even flying to Florida for my debut with the league in early November was eerie, but I was so excited about making my debut with XWF that I did my best to keep my mind on the positive. XWF paid for everything — airfare, hotel, and meals.

Preceding the show, XWF had something of a conference to introduce or in most cases re-introduce everyone to one another from all the different leagues Jimmy Hart had drawn his league’s talent from. It felt good to be among the company I was in, because being in the presence of legends like Hulk Hogan and Rowdy Roddy Piper and Greg Valentine let me know I had created enough profile during my time with ECW to qualify as authentic with fans. That was the key, and it was part of my strategy throughout all the indie-circuit gigs I took as a team with the Blue Meanie. Building profile has always been one of my bedrock principles as a businesswoman, no matter whether I was in porn or wrestling or even now in metal. I always try to keep my finger to the pulse of what the next big thing could be, and this certainly felt like it had a shot at the time. They held the show and conference at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida and paid everyone a lot of money to be there. They were well organized, and it was huge production. I spent down time hanging out with Gorgeous George and other girls formerly from the WCW, of course, there were plenty of haters. When Gorgeous George heard some jealous bitches making light of my porn past, she stood up for me and told them to shut the fuck up, that it was my past. I felt like I belonged, and the fact that my presence intimidated other female wrestlers let me know that George and I were the biggest female stars there.

We shot a bunch of promos at Universal Studios to promote the XWF debut and the first show was amazing! It was held at one of the Universal Studios’ arenas, and the crowd turnout was huge, they even had pyrotechnics at the show! In the show, I was managing the South Philly Posse, who was a formerly known as the Public Enemy when he’d worked with ECW. The last day I was there, XWF had a big press conference, which was held in a wrestling ring, with the media set up around the ring. You could see that the hype was building, and as the final day of the trip concluded, I flew home with my spirits were raised as high. The plan had been to run shows every week, just like the WWF.

According to Wikipedia, ‘The XWF taped more than ten hours of wrestling at Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida, of November 13 and 14, 2001. Primarily, these tapings were pilot episodes to show television executives in the hope of securing a major TV contract. The stage, lighting and overall production was considered to be of the highest quality, said to be like that of the World Wrestling Federation.  While the XWF awaited finalization of a national television contract, the promotion also experimented with live arena shows, likely to enhance their pitch to television executives.’