We Interrupt This Date (23 page)

“Rough night? Yes, of course. I did your cards before
I came in this morning. You are overburdened with responsibility
and someone you care deeply about does not understand your need to
martyr yourself so you can buy your family’s love and approval to
keep them from disappearing into the ether.”

“I’m not in the mood, Patty.” I wished I could roll
my eyes, but knew the puffy lids would prevent that kind of
flexibility. “Honestly, where do you get this stuff? And don’t say
from the Universe because the Universe doesn’t make a habit of
conversing with me. Though a case could be made for me martyring
myself, I am not buying anyone’s love and approval. And nobody
needs a deck of tarot cards to know I have responsibilities. Now
move out of my way so I can get to my office.”

“It’s not your office anymore, remember? La Brenda
has moved in, taken command, and redecorated in a style that will
make you swear you’re in the middle of a magazine shoot for cutesy
dens of the South. Come on, take a minute and tell Patty all about
your latest troubles. Odell called in late, so we’re safe.”

“Oh, why not? Bring me a cup of coffee and I’ll tell
you anything your cards haven’t already revealed.” I snared a
crooked folding chair and plunked myself down.

Patty brought the coffee and hopped onto the counter.
She sat next to the microwave and stared down at me. “Okay,
give.”

“First of all there’s my sister DeLorean, her baby,
and her golden doodle.” When Patty looked puzzled, I told her it
was a designer dog, a poodle-golden retriever cross. I gave her the
condensed version of my sister’s arrival, waited for her to make
sympathy noises, and launched into an account of Christian’s trip
home with Trinity in tow.

When I finished, she said, “Wow, you poor thing.” She
slid off the counter and I waved her back up.

“There’s more. Jack was supposed to take me out
Saturday night, but no one gave me the message, so he ended up
eating dinner at my house, which was not fun, thanks to my family
butting in. Next day Mama sprained her ankle and now she and her
two Chihuahuas are living in my family room. Jack took me to see
his new place. I’m sure he either wanted to tell me he has feelings
for me or that he wants us to be best buddies the way we used to
be. But I’ll never know since my sister called at the crucial
moment having hysterics about a family emergency and I had to go
straight home, which did not endear me to Jack. Upon arriving home
I discovered that my mother’s ex-husband is not her ex-husband
since her marriage was not legal and he was or is married to
someone in Arkansas named Lurlene. But he is still trying to extort
money from Mama by threatening to tell her new boyfriend that she
is an adulterer.” I left out the part about Veronica’s packet of
work that I hadn’t finished.

“I knew it!” Patty put her hand over her heart. “You
should have seen your card layout. Total and complete chaos all
around your family and your love life.”

“Patty, I have no love life.” I spaced the words out
for emphasis.

“But the cards say you do.” Her hair started to slip
sideways and she passed her hands over the top of her head to
adjust it. One of her hair clips sprang loose and flew across the
room just in time to pop Odell across the nose as he opened the
door. I hauled myself to my feet and picked up the clip, which had
ricocheted off Odell to bounce against the microwave and land next
to the coffeepot.

“I believe this is yours,” I said, handing it to
Patty.

“Thank you much.” Patty reapplied the clip to a
strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face. She pasted on
her fake “I really do care about the customers” expression, saluted
Odell, and did an about face.

Odell finished turning purple and waving his short
little arms and asked me what did I think he was paying me for.
Skipping the salute, I made tracks for my ex-office.

I refrained from telling Brenda that the chintz
curtains on the window and the posters of puppies and ducklings
cavorting in meadows under a guardian angel infested sky were not
something a normal person would have chosen for office décor. I
settled myself in the new visitor’s chair she’d installed in front
of the desk. She seemed to have the work well in hand. I reached
for a stack of invoices and she snatched them out of reach.

“Umm,” she said, patting the bun at the back of her
neck. “How should I put this?”

“You took a secretarial course where you learned
everything there is to know about running an office and you can
handle the work without my input?”

“Exactly.” Her pupils had shrunk to the size of BB’s
and I knew she didn’t like the little dig about the secretarial
course.

I followed Patty’s example and quickly forgave
myself. Went her one further and decided to sin no more. It was not
Brenda’s fault she was the female version of her Uncle Odell.

With little to do except stare at Brenda’s posters
while she worked and ponder where I’d gone wrong in failing to get
Jack to understand about my family, it was a long morning. Patty
came dancing into the room at lunchtime, asking if I wanted to go
out for lunch. She suggested soup and sandwiches.

“Sure.” I would have gone along even if she’d opted
for roast groundhog.

“I have the answer to all your problems,” she said
when we were settled on opposite sides of a table at Quiznos.
“You’ll feel a lot better if you don’t have quite so much to deal
with.”

“It’s okay, Patty. The main thing is finding a way to
get Philip off Mama’s back. As for the rest of it, it’s all pretty
much business as usual. I can’t remember a time when my family
wasn’t mixed up in one mess or another and it’s been my job to
pitch in. I’m rescue central, you might say.”

“I do say. Definitely.” She tilted her head and
squeezed her eyes into slits at the same time. The effect was one
of odd angles and slightly off kilter features. “As for your
mother’s ex whatever, did you know you can go on the Internet and
look up anything you need to know about people? It so happens that
I have a subscription to a people finder site and I get three free
searches a year. Since I only used one so far, I looked up this
Lurlene person he’s supposedly married to. Got her number for you.”
She fished in her purse and drew out a crumpled paper.

My eyebrows struggled, trying to rise. Thanks to my
still puffy eyelids, they failed. “How do you find time to get any
work done?”

“It’s all in how you schedule your work day.” She
winked and pantomimed tapping away at a keyboard, surfing the
Internet, something she could do only when Odell wasn’t around.

“So you think I should call this woman and ask her to
rein Philip in, maybe come to Charleston and haul him back to
Arkansas hogtied in the trunk of her car? He’d just show up again
like a stray dog that won’t go away after you feed it. Mama would
never be safe.”

“Hey, if you want him out of the way permanently, I
know people.” At my shocked expression, she laughed and said,
“Kidding. The Universe would not condone.”

I drummed my fingers on the table. “You know, what
he’s doing isn’t legal. I could contact a lawyer.” The only lawyers
I knew were my real estate attorney and my divorce attorney, both
elderly gentlemen who likely didn’t take on extortion cases, but I
could ask them.

“Why bother with a huge legal expense? Find out where
he’s staying, go over there, and tell him you’re turning the matter
over to the district attorney if he doesn’t leave your mother
alone. Then threaten to call Lurlene and get him in really big
trouble.”

“I don’t even know if they’re still married, though I
suppose I could call her. But how do I find out where he’s staying?
Am I suppose to consult the cards?”

Patty shook her finger at me. “Don’t make fun of the
powers
. All you have to do is dial information or call
around to area motels and see if he’s checked in. Of course, you’ll
have to trick them into telling you.”

“Hey, good idea. I’m left wondering how you come up
with all this cloak and dagger stuff.”

“Experience. Don’t ask me about my ex-husband; even
the Universe would prefer that he existed in another
dimension.”

When we got back to the shop, Brenda cornered me and
thrust a pink memo paper into my hand. “I’m going to lunch with my
uncle and I’d rather you didn’t disturb anything on my desk while
I’m out.”

“You don’t have a thing to worry about, Brenda. I
promise.”

She shot me a doubtful look and then scuttled out to
join Odell in his SUV. I peeked out from between the chintz
curtains until they turned the corner at the end of the block. Then
I looked at the memo. It was a message from Veronica asking me to
call her. I figured using the phone didn’t count as disturbing
Brenda’s desk. And sitting in what used to be my desk chair
probably didn’t count either.

Veronica picked up on the third ring. “Susan, have
you had a chance to look over the packet I sent you?”

Thank God, I’d remembered. “I’ve already
started.”

“Super. I don’t have a spare minute. I thought we
wouldn’t be ready for at least another three weeks, but my
contractor told me the work’s ahead of schedule. It’s going to be
ready in a few days and then I want to have the house decorated as
soon as possible. I know that’s short notice, but I need for you to
get that advertising in gear and start buying the furniture I
listed.”

Oh, right, a list that specific—civil war era couches
and beds, two tasteful oil painting at least six feet by eight
feet, countless little chairs, tables and knickknacks—Susan was
going to produce on command. I pictured hours spent traipsing the
sidewalks of Charleston, practically living in antique shops to get
the exact items. But I could understand her rush and besides, the
sooner she got the ghost tours started, the sooner I’d be moving on
with life after the pawn shop.

“I can get going on the advertising.” I’d leave
Brenda to her work and go in the back to use my cell phone. I’d
tell Odell that Brenda was doing a great job and didn’t need me.
He’d probably let me go, but an extra two days pay wasn’t going to
amount to much when it came to paying my bills. “The antiques might
have to wait a day or so.”

“Don’t wait too long. I tell you, this new firm is
moving at the speed of light. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. They
used to be owned by the Lenley family.”

My heart did a flip. The exact thing Jack had said to
me a few days ago in The Pie Plate. Pieces clicked into place,
making me feel dense for not having realized sooner.

“Yes, I have heard of them. Jack Maxwell’s running it
for the new owners.”

“You know Jack? Wait,” she shrieked. “Your best
friend from high school you’ve told me about a million times. He’s
your Jack.”

Hardly
my
Jack. I wrapped a piece of phone
cord around my finger and watched my unpolished nail bed turn
purple.

“Of course I haven’t met him yet. My office manager
hired the firm and I signed the papers. I’m seeing him this
afternoon, though. We’ve scheduled a meeting to talk more about the
project. I’ll tell him you said hello.”

“That would be great,” I said without enthusiasm. I
was sure Jack was still ticked at me for putting my family
first.

“Anything else before I ring off?”

“One other thing. I’m all set for the ghost tour
business, in fact I’m getting pretty enthusiastic.” Had to. As far
as a job it was the only game in town. “But I’ll have to pass on
living and working at the B&B. My entire family is now living
with me, pets included.”

High-pitched yelp on the other end of the line.
“Susan, I don’t know what to say. But that’s okay, I won’t have any
trouble finding someone, not with the current job market. Whoops,
got to go. I have another call and it’s important. Call me in the
morning for a status update, okay?”

The line went dead. I wondered what Jack would say
when Veronica told him I’d said hello. I imagined him baring his
teeth and hissing like he was warding off something evil.

Brenda and Odell took a long lunch. At least two
hours. In between fielding calls from customers and manning the
register so Patty could take a break, I didn’t even finish the
first page of Veronica’s list of advertisers before I heard Brenda
approaching. With a guilty start, I realized that even though she’d
made it clear she didn’t want me touching the work, she would still
object to me working on personal business. The Brendas of this
world are like that.

I slipped out of her chair to flatten myself against
the wall opposite the desk with my hands held at my sides and my
eyes wide and staring like a criminal caught in the act. But then
Brenda probably got that a lot.

She hovered in the doorway. “Uncle Odell wants to see
you in his office, Susan.”

“Great,” I said. “Super.” I pulled the lower half of
my face into a smile that showed most of my teeth.

The hound eyes, so like her uncle’s, looked ever so
slightly less droopy. “I’m sorry. It’s not good news.”

No doubt. Unless I considered getting sent home two
days early to be good news. I perked up. I really did need the time
for Veronica’s project. Mine and Veronica’s project, I corrected
myself. After all, I was her manager for Blackthorn House Ghost
Tours. Brenda stepped aside and I slipped into the hallway.

“Odell.” I stood at his door. “You sent for me?”

He motioned for me to come in and I took a few steps
toward his desk. He wrote something on an envelope before he
glanced up and said, “Brenda tells me she’s already mastered the
office system.”

“She’s a sharp lady. And well-educated. I believe she
mentioned she took a secretarial course.”

“I know I said you could stay until Wednesday, but
Brenda tells me you make her nervous sitting around and—and
thinking, that’s what she said. You’re thinking. Makes it hard for
her to get her work done.” He went through a series of frowns and
throat clearings.