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Authors: Kerrelyn Sparks

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Romance, #Paranormal, #Adult, #Vampire, #Urban Fantasy

Vamps And The City (5 page)

BOOK: Vamps And The City
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“But I am male. I’m all male,” Bobby insisted, then leaned toward Darcy. “Is my mascara running?”

“No, you look… great.”

“Thank you.” Bobby smiled sadly, his red lips trembling. “Don’t worry about me.” He held up a hand as if to ward off their sympathy. “Somehow, I will survive. I’ll continue the struggle. After all, I’m an artiste. And I must never sacrifice my personal style.”

“Of course not, Mr. Streisand. If I need someone with your… style, I’ll be sure to give you a call.”

Bobby raised the hanky high into the air, then yanked his arm down to clutch the hanky against his chest. “I thank you.” He glided out the door.

Darcy shook her head. “It’s gotta get better than this.”

Michelle opened the door. “Chuckie—” She glanced at the clipboard and frowned. “Badabing.”

“Must be a stage name,” Maggie whispered.

A slim man sauntered into the room. His silk shirt was half unbuttoned to show off curly chest hair and three gold necklaces. He tossed his eight-by-ten glossy on the table. “Whoa!” He eyed them, his grin flashing a gold tooth. “I’ve never seen so many hot babes under one roof.” He stepped back and struck a casual pose with one hip jutted to the side.

Darcy resisted a shudder. “Mr… Badabing. Do you have any experience?”

He chuckled and rubbed at his thin moustache. The diamonds on his pinky ring glittered. “Hell, yeah. I’ve got all kinds of experience. What do you three ladies have in mind?” He winked.

Vanda leaned toward Darcy and whispered, “Can I kill him?”

“So.” Chuckie tucked his thumbs under his belt. “If I win I’ll be called the Sexiest Man on Earth?”

“You would need to be selected for the show first.” Darcy collected his photo and slid it under her legal pad.

“Hey, if you want sexy, you’ve come to the right place.” Chuckie rotated his narrow hips. “They don’t call me Badabing for nothin’.”

“Please, let me kill him,” Vanda hissed.

Darcy was tempted to give her blessing. “I’m sorry, Mr. Badabing, but we won’t be needing your services.”

Chuckie snorted. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”

Vanda smiled. “Neither do you.”

With a sneer, Chuckie strode out the door.

Darcy’s eye twitched. She rubbed her temple, trying to relieve the growing sense of doom.

Michelle opened the door. “This is Walter.”

Walter strode into the room. He was a middle-aged man with thinning hair and a round belly. “How do you do?” He smiled as he set his photo down on the table.

He would never be considered sexy, but at least, he had good manners. Darcy smiled back. “Do you have any acting experience?”

“Sure do. For the last three years, I’ve been doing commercials for Captain Jake’s Buffalo Wings.” Walter’s smile faltered when they didn’t react. “You know, Captain Jake’s Chicken? They’ve got the best buffalo wings in the city.”

“I’m afraid we don’t eat chicken,” Maggie said.

“Oh, vegetarians, huh? Well, I sing and do this dance. Here, I’ll show you.” Walter proceeded to strut back and forth across the room, flapping his arms. Then, he began to sing. “I’m baked with herbs and spices, and come with tasty rices. I’m never fried, so you won’t die. And you’ll love my new low prices!”

Darcy’s mouth fell open. Her friends were equally quiet.

Walter’s grin glowed with pride. “Pretty awesome, huh? Of course, it looks even better when I wear the chicken costume. I’ve got it stashed in my car if you’d like to see it.”

They continued to gape at him.

“Speechless, huh? I get that all the time.”

Darcy’s eye twitched again. “I’m afraid this isn’t a musical reality show. But if we ever produce one, I’ll remember you.”

“Oh, okay.” Walter’s shoulders slumped. “Thank you, anyway.” He trudged out the door, looking thoroughly henpecked.

Darcy tilted forward and plunked her forehead against the tabletop. “This is hopeless.”

“Don’t worry.” Maggie patted her on the back. “There’s a bunch more for us to see.”

One hour and twenty applicants later, Walter the Dancing Chicken was starting to look really good.

Then, Michelle opened the door and emitted a long, dreamy sigh. “Garth Manly.” She pressed a hand against her chest as he strode into the room.

More sighs came from Vanda and Maggie. They sagged in their seats. Darcy gave them a worried look. Maybe they’d drunk some blood past its expiration date. But no, they didn’t appear to be suffering from indigestion. They were gazing blissfully at the new applicant.

He was all right, she supposed. Definitely the most handsome man they’d seen so far, though that wasn’t saying much. His wavy, dark hair was brushed back from a tanned face. “Mr. Manly, do you have any acting experience?”

“Yes.” He set his signed photo on the table, then took a wide stance. When he crossed his arms over his broad chest, his biceps bulged.

Maggie and Vanda sighed once again. Michelle remained at the door, rubbing her cheek against the doorframe.

“What kind of experience?” Darcy asked.

“Theater, mostly.” He raised a dark brow. “Would you like to see me in action?”

“Oh, yes,” Maggie breathed.

He bowed his head, apparently getting into character.

Vanda whispered, “Pick him. He’s gorgeous.”

Darcy hushed her.

Garth Manly lifted his chin and gazed over their heads. He raised his right hand. “To be, or not to be—“

“Could you turn around, please?” Maggie asked.

He looked surprised, then turned his back to them and started again. His right hand went up. “To be or not to be…”

Vanda and Maggie leaned forward, their eyes riveted to his buns of steel. Darcy had difficulty hearing his performance over their heavy breathing.

“Whether ’tis nobler—“

“Could you take off your shirt?” Vanda asked.

He swiveled to face them. “Excuse me?”

Darcy stifled a groan. She should have insisted on doing the interviews alone. “There’ll be a hot tub,” she explained. “We need to know if you look all right in a swimsuit.”

“Oh, of course.” He took off his black leather jacket and draped it on the back of the chair. As he unbuttoned his shirt, he glanced at them from under thick eyelashes and slowly smiled. “Do I get any music while I strip?”

Maggie giggled.

Darcy almost gagged.

Vanda skimmed a long purple fingernail over her bottom lip. “Tell me, Garth, do you have any experience in stripping?”

He gave her a smoldering look. “I prefer not to do it as a solo act.”

Vanda dropped her hand to the neckline zipper of her slinky, black catsuit. “Oh, I’m definitely in the mood for a… duet.”

Darcy slanted a glance to the side. Good Lord, Vanda was unzipping her catsuit. “Okay, that’s enough. Mr. Manly, could you wait in the lobby? We might need to see you again.”

“Of course.” With a knowing smile, he picked up his discarded clothes and left. Michelle stumbled after him.

Maggie turned to Darcy. “Why did you send him away? I thought he was perfect for the show.”

“I believe he is,” Darcy confessed, “but I had to get him out of here before Vanda stripped naked.”

With a snort, Vanda zipped up her catsuit. “You’re no fun.”

“He’ll be great, but he’s only one,” Darcy reminded them. “We need at least four more mortals, and we need to find them tonight.”

“Okay.” Vanda dragged a hand through her purple hair. “Let’s get back to work.”

After three more hours, Maggie was practicing writing Mrs. Don Orlando de Corazon on a sheet of paper, while Vanda was amusing herself by swiveling her chair in circles.

Darcy massaged her temples where tension was building. Good God, she’d forgotten how hard it was to find a decent man. No wonder she had remained single.

“Can we go home now?” Maggie asked. “I’ve never seen such a dreadful display of manhood.”

“I know,” Darcy agreed. “But we still need one more.”

Michelle opened the door. With a smile, she announced, “This is our last applicant. Adam Cartwright.”

He walked into the room. Darcy’s mouth fell open. Tall, with long legs and broad shoulders, he moved with an understated grace as if he were conserving energy. His thick hair was shot through with golden streaks. His bronzed skin glowed with natural vitality.

He moved forward, scanning the room, then halted suddenly, his gaze fastened on Darcy.

His blue eyes widened. Darcy’s breath caught, and she couldn’t look away.

He stepped toward her. He cleared his throat, and she swore the sound rumbled in her own chest. “Miss Darcy?”

Was that deep, sexy voice coming from him? She willed herself to reply, but the words refused to come out. She licked her lips, thinking that might help, but then his blue gaze lowered to her mouth, and she forgot what to say.

“Darcy?” Maggie whispered.

His eyes focused on hers once again. Instantly, a flood of warmth surged through her. Warm like the sun beating down on her head. Warm like the sand between her toes. Good God, she hadn’t felt this warm since that terrible night four years ago. She closed her eyes and relished the liquid heat as it poured through her veins. It was like being on the beach again with the surf pounding in her ears and the salty air tickling her nose. She could almost feel a volleyball in her hands, see the net in front of her, hear her sister laughing beside her.

“Darcy.” Vanda nudged her with an elbow.

She opened her eyes with a jerk. He was still there, still staring at her. Slowly, he smiled. Oh my God, dimples. Her brain turned to mush.

“Are you all right, Darcy?” Maggie whispered.

She took a deep breath and managed a whisper. “Apollo.”

Chapter 4

She was mortal.

Thank God! Austin slowly became aware that he was standing there with a dopey grin on his face. But why not? He’d found the mystery woman, and she was mortal. She had to be. He’d entered her mind so easily, and once there, her thoughts had burst forth like rays of sunshine. She was thinking about warm sand, beach volleyball, and her sister’s laughter. No vampire would have thoughts like that.

And the other two women? The short one with dark hair was definitely a vampire. He recognized her from the parking lot at DVN. And he would bet the purple-haired one was undead, too. She had that flashy look and hungry gleam in her eye. His gaze barely flickered to the other two women, before returning to the lovely-woman in blue. He kept his power carefully focused on her alone, so the other women wouldn’t detect him.

She finally spoke, her voice a hushed whisper. “Apollo.”

Huh? He cocked his head, trying to decipher her meaning. The images in her mind were still focused on the beach. She dreamed of the sun’s warmth caressing her skin. Her face was flushed, her breasts rising with each rushed breath. He realized with a jolt that she’d look the same way if he were making love to her. A surge of blood careened toward his groin, and for a second, he visualized himself pulling her on top of the table and kissing her ’til her lips were swollen and red. And then he’d—what? He couldn’t do anything with one, maybe two vampires in the room.

Why was she here with these two undead women? Was she a prisoner? Were they blackmailing her or threatening a member of her family in order to force her cooperation? The two women kept whispering and nudging her. Was she under their control? But Ms. Stein had told him Miss Darcy was the one in charge.

He needed more information. He needed to gain her trust. And staring at her with a big bulge in his pants was not the way to do it. He placed his photo on the table in front of her. Her smoky blue eyes glanced down, then back at his face.

“May I?” He pulled a black, leather-upholstered chair away from the table and sat, facing her.

Her thoughts flitted into his head. He doesn’t want to stand there and stare down at us like the other men. No, he’s bringing himself down to my eye level. How kind and considerate.

Kind and considerate? Sheesh, he was just hiding his erection. “How do you do, ladies? I’m… Adam Olaf Cartwright.”

The purple-headed one wrinkled her nose. “Olaf?”

“Yes.” Austin knew the most successful lies included as much of the truth as possible. “I was named after my grandfather, Papa Olaf. Best fisherman in Minnesota. My favorite memories are going fishing with him.” He caught some thoughts coming from the beautiful Miss Darcy. He loves his family. And the outdoors. And the simple pleasures in life.

The short one yawned. “You like killing fish?”

“I enjoy the process of fishing, the anticipation of what could happen. If I don’t need the fish for food, I put them back in the water.” He heard more thoughts, coming from Miss Darcy. He’s patient and compassionate. And so gorgeous. Holy moley, she really liked him.

The purple-headed one leaned toward her and whispered, “He’s boring.”

Austin knew Miss Darcy wasn’t bored. He also realized the other women were simply calling her Darcy. “May I know your names?”

“I guess so,” the short one answered. “I’m Margaret Mary O’Brian, the assistant director. Everyone calls me Maggie.”

“Vanda Barkowski.” The purple-headed one raised a hand, displaying long purple fingernails.

He shifted his gaze back to the woman in blue. “And you?”

She curled her fingers around her writing pen. “Darcy.”

“First name or last?”

“Last,” she whispered, while the other two said, “First.” Her eye twitched, and her hands clenched the pen more tightly.

“Which is it?” he asked softly. The poor girl was a nervous wreck. Why? Was it because she was forced to keep company with vampires?

She took a deep breath and set the pen down carefully on the table. “Do you have any acting experience?”

He started to recite the list of lies he’d prepared, but changed his mind. “No, no experience at all.”

He’s an honest man. And intelligent. Her thoughts sifted into his head, followed by a flood of guilt from his own conscience. Honest? He wasn’t even telling her his real name. And how intelligent could he be if he was auditioning for a reality show? Besides, these women didn’t look or act like vicious killers. He’d questioned the other applicants as they’d left the conference room, and none of them reported being harmed in any way. Could it be true what Shanna had said? That there were actually two kinds of vampires— harmless ones and violent ones?

No, he wasn’t ready to accept that yet. Even so, this seemed like a waste of time. Emma had the right idea. His abilities would be better spent in Central Park, hunting the vampires who attacked people and fed off them. And when he caught one of the creatures, he could interrogate it about Shanna.

“I’m afraid my audition was a mistake. I’m sorry I wasted your time.” He gave Miss Darcy one last look as he stood. Poor beautiful sweetheart. Whoever she was, he wasn’t giving up on her. She might be in danger and need his help. He’d start investigating her right away. He strode toward the door.

“Wait!”

He turned. She’d risen to her feet.

“You… you don’t really need any experience. Or even any talent. This is a reality show.”

He couldn’t help but smile. And when she smiled shyly back, he knew he was lost. So what if it was a waste of time? Sean had ordered him to do the show.

She gave him a pleading look. “I’d like you to be on the show.”

I’d like to kiss you senseless. “I can do that.” She heaved a sigh of relief and grinned. “Good.” Oh, it would be good. His gaze swept down to her hips, then back to her face. “More like excellent.” Her eyes widened. “I—we’ll be in touch.”

“I’m sure we will.” He let out a long breath as he left the room. He had every intention of touching her.

And very soon.

Darcy took a deep breath and willed her racing heart to calm down. Adam Olaf Cartwright—just the thought of him made her heart thump ridiculously fast. She reached for his photo with trembling fingers. Good God, you could see his dimples in the picture. And the beautiful turquoise blue of his eyes.

“Are you all right?” Maggie asked. “You could hardly speak.”

“I—I had an itch in my throat.”

“Really?” Vanda watched her with an amused expression. “I could have sworn that itch was further south.”

Maggie huffed. “Sweet Mary! There’s no need to be crude.”

“No need to be in denial, either.” Vanda stood and stretched. “Admit it, Darcy, you have the hots for that guy.”

Darcy shook her head. “I’m just tired. We’ve been interviewing the dregs of manhood for over four hours.”

“Dregs is right,” Maggie yawned. “But you are flushed.”

Darcy fanned herself with his photo. “It’s hot in here.”

“I’m not hot.” Vanda looked at Maggie. “Are you hot?”

“No. Actually, I thought it was a little chilly in here.”

“Enough, you two.” Darcy spread all the photos on the table. “We need to pick the five best guys.”

“Number one has to be Garth Manly.” Maggie located his photo and handed it to Darcy.

“I agree. And number two should be”—Vanda reached for a photo. “Here he is—Apollo, the sun god.”

Maggie snickered.

“His name is Adam.” Darcy snatched the photo from Vanda. Adam as in the primeval man. A vision flitted through her head—Adam Olaf Cartwright, cavorting around the Garden of Eden wearing nothing but a loincloth. No, make that a fig leaf. A very large fig leaf. One that would blow away with the slightest breeze.

Sheesh! Was she so ridiculously shallow that she could be floored by a gorgeous body, handsome face with dimples, and pair of dazzling blue eyes? She glanced at his photo. Well, apparently, yes.

With a silent groan, she admitted this was more than instant lust. Adam Olaf Cartwright possessed more than a great exterior. She’d sensed his intelligence, kindness, honesty, and strength.

“You’re blushing again,” Maggie warned her gently.

Darcy sat down with a sigh. “It’s an impossible situation. You know that.”

“Maybe not.” Vanda lounged back in her chair. “I’ve heard stories about ladies who keep a male mortal as a sex toy.”

Darcy winced. “I could never do that.”

“And that sort of relationship never lasts,” Maggie added. “I’m sorry, Darcy. We’ll stop teasing you about it.”

“Good.” She set the photos of Garth and Adam to the side, then rummaged through the remaining pictures. “What did you think about George Martinez and Nicholas Poulos?” She pulled out their pictures.

“They were okay.” Maggie selected one more. “And this one was good, too. Seth Howard.”

“Great. Then, we’re done.” Darcy dug in her portfolio for the cell phone. “I’ll call Gregori, so he can pick us up.” She reached him in his car, and he estimated he’d be there in fifteen minutes.

Vanda stood. “I’d better teleport home. I’m hungry, and Garth Manly is looking kinda yummy.”

“Go.” Darcy quickly handed her the phone. “Oh, and try to convince the other ladies to be on the show with you.”

“I’ll try.” Vanda shrugged. “But if they’ve been fighting all this time, they’re not going to be in a mood to listen.”

“One more thing,” Darcy continued. “Swear you won’t tell them what we were doing tonight. It’s supposed to be a surprise that there’ll be mortals on the show.”

Vanda wrinkled her nose. “How can it be a surprise? We can smell them a block away.”

“I’ve got it covered.” Darcy gathered the photos of all the rejected applicants into a neat stack. “When I was working at Romatech, they had this situation where a couple of vampires lost control and bit some of the mortal employees.”

“Oh, I remember that,” Maggie said. “Roman was furious.”

Darcy nodded. “It totally blew his mission of making the world safe for mortals and vampires alike. And the fact that it was happening at his own business was very upsetting.”

“What did he do?” Vanda asked.

“First, he offered free synthetic blood to all the vampire employees. It worked for a while, but then, the biting started again. Roman was afraid the mortals would sue and it would end up drawing attention to the vampire world. So, he developed a plastic anklet coated with some kind of chemical that completely masks a mortal’s scent. It works like a vampire repellent. When the Vamps can no longer smell the mortals, they’re no longer tempted to bite.”

“You’re going to use the anklets on the show?” Maggie asked.

“Yes. The mortals will be safe. And impossible to detect.”

Vanda cocked her head as she considered. “Vamps can still detect a mortal by reading their minds.”

“There will be no mind reading or mind control allowed on the show,” Darcy announced. “It’ll be included in the Vamp contracts. Otherwise, we could never run a fair contest.”

“That makes sense.” Vanda dialed Gregori’s house. “I’ve gotta go. The smell of those men down the hall is making me ravenous.” She paused, then spoke into the phone. “Lady Pamela, is mat you? Keep talking, will you?”

Darcy held the phone until Vanda had completely vanished, then she stashed it in her portfolio,. „

There was a knock on the door, and Ms. Stein peeked in. She scanned the room. “Where—” She glanced back at the empty hallway. “I thought there were three of you.”

“Yes.” With a smile, Darcy quickly changed the subject. “We’ve made our decision. These are the five men we want.” She held out the five autographed photos.

“Good.” Ms. Stein inched forward to take the pictures.

“I have some instructions here and the contracts for them to sign.” Darcy removed the papers from her portfolio.

Ms. Stein took them. “I’ll give these to the poor— er, lucky men.”

“Thank you. They’ll need to return the signed contracts within five days so we can keep on schedule. If you don’t mind, it would be easier for us if they returned them here. Maggie will come on the evening of the fifth day to collect them.”

“Very well.” Ms. Stein bustled out the door.

Darcy rounded the table. “We need an artist who can paint the portraits of all the male contestants. Do you think you can find a vampire artist for me?”

“I guess so. I’ll look in the Black Pages.”

“Good. Let me know when you find one. I have some special instructions for him.”

Maggie’s eyes widened. “Is this another surprise?”

Darcy smiled. “Could be.”

The crowd in the waiting room had dwindled to about twenty anxious men. Austin figured those who left early had been openly rejected by Miss Darcy and her… friends… The ‘Situation grated on him. Why would an intelligent, beautiful woman like her hang out with vampires?

He edged toward the coffee pot and motioned with his head for Garrett to join him there. He poured some coffee into a Styrofoam cup, then fiddled with the pink and blue sugar packets while he waited.

Garrett stopped beside him and poured a cup of coffee.

“I think I’m in,” Austin whispered. “How about you?”

“I think so.” Garrett glanced back as a short, rotund guy who resembled a mountain troll walked by. “Lucky for us, the competition was pretty easy.”

“You think?” Austin gritted his teeth. Didn’t Garrett realize that Ms. Stein had manipulated the auditions to make them look good? “What did you think of the three… women?”

“They’re definitely… you know.”

All three of them? “No, the one in blue is normal.” Stupendous was more like it, but she was definitely alive.

Garrett stirred some powdered creamer into his coffee. “I have to disagree.”

Austin’s nerves tensed. He lowered his voice. “I got into her mind. She was thinking about sunshine and beaches and family.”

“Really? I couldn’t get into any of their heads.”

“You’re not as strong as me. No offense.”

“None taken. But even so, I could have sworn—” Garrett broke off when the mountain troll moved in for some coffee.

Austin raised his voice. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Adam Cartwright.”

“Garth Manly,” Garrett shook his hand.

BOOK: Vamps And The City
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