Uptown Thief (10 page)

The women gyrated to the throbbing bass of the music, rubbing their hips, asses, and crotches until, with an explosion sound effect in the music, they tore off their shorts to reveal thongs. They each gave their dates a lap dance.

After the dance, the women giggled and cooed.

“Oh my God,” Kim said. “I can't believe we're really here with Thug Woofer and his hot brother and his
really
hot cousin.” She pressed her breasts against the cousin. He had a baby face and seemed the most reserved of the three.

“Before we move into the private party section of the evening, can I please get a photo with you?” Kim asked the cousin.

Jody snapped photos of Kim and the cousin on the couch. Then, under the pretext of sending them, she snapped several zoom shots of the alarm system by the door.

“When does the private party start?” the cousin asked, sliding a hand onto Kim's ass. She and Jody exchanged an amused look.

“Party starts now,” Tyesha said, leading Woof toward the bedroom.

“I ain't the groom,” Woof said, as Tyesha closed the door behind them. “Just givin a nigga his last fuckin hurrah before getting married.” He took another slug of whiskey. “I ain't neva gettin married. Bitches just want half yo shit.”

He sat down on a water bed. Tyesha was annoyed by his monologue. Besides, the drunker he got, the longer sex would take. She sat down beside him.

“Half? Oh, I don't want half, Woof, baby. I want it all. Are you ready to give it to me?”

“What? You sayin you want all the damn money?”

“No, baby, I want all of this.” She stroked his crotch.

“Oh right. My manager already paid y'all.”

“That's just for the madam,” Tyesha lied. “When I found out it was you, I would have done it for free. I mean, I been wanting to get with you since your first video.”

“S'what I'm talmbout.” He took another swig from the bottle. “Females see you on stage or on the video and wanna just throw pussy at you.” He fell into the lyrics of one of his signature hits:

“Woof, I've always loved that song,” Tyesha cooed. She pressed her breasts against him, but he just brooded. He was a “whiner” type—lots of access to sex, but mostly they just complained.

Tyesha liked sex. She didn't mind fucking to pay graduate school tuition. But with this drama, she felt like she was really earning the money.

“That nigga crazy,” Woof said. “He could have all this, but Brandon would rather go back to South Carolina?”

“Brandon's your brother?” Tyesha asked. Maybe if she drew him out to have a nice bitch session, it would settle him down. She wanted to fuck him and get home to study for her exam on maternal and child health outcomes in rural versus urban areas.

“My mama act like this wedding the damn second coming of Jesus,” he mumbled. “But Brandon rather be a king in Carolina, than be just the brother of the king in New York. I see how it is.”

“You can be my king tonight.”

“It's that hater bitch he gon marry.” Woof took another pull on the bottle. “She don't want him on the road with me. Know she ain't got the world's only pussy.”

“If she met him on the road—” Tyesha began.

“Naw, she ain't met him on the road. They went together in high school. She ain't never give me the time of day. Bitch ain't even halfway cute. But he wanna be with her forever? Live in a small-ass Cackalacky town when he could be livin like this?”

“Everybody can't be a big man like you, Woof.”

“S'why I wanted hoes for the party tonight. I'ma be like fuck you. Takin my brother away? You ain't got the world's only pussy.”

“Speaking of pussy.” Tyesha straddled him. She could feel his penis dragging into action. “I wanna give it all to you.” She ground her hips around in a circular motion, and leaned him back. They rocked with the motion of the water bed.

He let out a low moan. She unhooked her bra and let her breasts tumble into his face, grazing his lips.

“Aw yeah, girl, I—I—”

Suddenly, his body clenched. He heaved her off of him, and struggled out of the water bed. He ran to the bathroom and vomited.

Tyesha put her bra back on and followed. This was not the I-fucked-a-superstar story she had been hoping to tell.

“It's gonna be okay, Woof.” She set a towel beside the toilet and sat down, rubbing his back.

Five minutes later, she walked him back on unsteady legs and he lay down on the water bed.

“I'm the king, but how come I gotta get a hoe for my brother? I got everything, but he got a woman who really love him, you know? Loved him when he ain't had shit. Wanna have his baby. She pregnant now. And he know the baby his. She don't wanna fuck wit nobody else but him. Me, I got hoes chasing me but they just want the money. Then they gon go fuck wit the next nigga. Like you. You fine as hell, but you jus want money. I bet you ain't givin no pussy to a broke-ass country nigga from Cackalacky . . .” He began to drift off.

“Woof, baby,” Tyesha said. “I'm gonna turn you on your side so you don't choke on your own vomit, okay?”

Woof began to snore. Carefully, Tyesha climbed out of bed, but the motion of the water turned him over onto his back.

She climbed back into the bed and planted him firmly on his side, arranging him to stay put. But as she got out of the water bed, it sloshed him onto his back again. She kept wrestling him onto his side, but he rolled back each time she got up.

She called Marisol and explained the situation. “What should I do?”

“You can't leave,” Marisol said. “Picture the headline? ‘Rapper Thug Woofer found dead—police seeking three escorts.' ”

“But I have a midterm tomorrow at ten,” Tyesha said. “I need to pull an all-nighter.”

“Did you bring your books?”

“I was studying on the train ride over.”

“So pull your all-nighter there,” Marisol said.

“I want a bonus for this,” Tyesha said.

“Time and a half,” Marisol agreed, and they hung up.

Tyesha tiptoed out into the darkened living room to get her book bag out of the bottom of the liquor boxes. While she was at it, she raided the fridge. Only beer, orange juice, and energy drinks. Tyesha grabbed four cans of Ramp Up! and crept back into the bedroom.

Chapter 10

A
fter she left, Kim and Jody popped up from the couch.

“Did she see us?” Kim whispered. “Marisol would kill us for getting our freak on here.”

“I don't think Tyesha saw,” Jody said, “but we'd better get down on the floor, just in case.”

Kim chuckled. “Always looking for an excuse to get down on the floor.”

Kim lay back and Jody straddled her, sliding her hands up under the black lingerie to caress Kim's breasts.

“Was he any good?” Jody whispered.

“He thought so.” Kim stifled a giggle.

“Mine hadn't been with anyone but his fiancée in years,” Jody said. “She may be black, but she was keeping it vanilla in bed. I pulled a few prostate tricks. Knocked him right out.”

“My guy, too,” Kim said. “I left him sleeping like a baby. All that booze they drank didn't hurt, either.” She leaned in and gave Jody an openmouthed kiss. “When I was with him, I was definitely wishing it was your hands, your lips, your body.”

“My guy had a decent-size dick,” Jody said. “I wanted to ask him, hey, can I borrow that for a minute after we're done?”

Kim laughed, and Jody shushed her.

“Sorry. I was just thinking you'd know better than him what to do with it. Did you bring any toys?”

“No room in the boxes with all of Tyesha's books. But I did bring ten fingers and a tongue.”

Jody ran her tongue in circles around Kim's nipples and then began to lick them in earnest, as she traced her fingers down into her panties.

“Are you wet for me or for him?” Jody asked.

“I took a shower afterward, so what do you think?”

Jody slid her finger up and down.

“I want you to tell me,” she encouraged.

Kim moaned.

“It's okay, baby.” Jody smiled. “You can tell me.”

Kim pulled a pillow off the couch and bit into it to contain the noise of her moans.

Jody kissed both of Kim's breasts, the crests of her ribs, her belly, working her way down between Kim's thighs.

Jody opened Kim's lips, and after a moment of soft licking alternated with firm fingers, Jody asked again, “Who're you wet for, baby?”

“You,” Kim gasped.

“Tell me again,” Jody said, thrusting four fingers inside Kim, but keeping her thumb on the clitoris still rubbing insistently.

“All you, baby,” Kim whimpered. “Oh—you! All you.”

And then Kim proceeded to rip the seam on the couch pillow with her teeth, as she tried to keep quiet amidst the intense bucking of her orgasm.

Afterward, Kim and Jody lay on the couch.

“I love you,” Kim said, stroking Jody's face.

“I love you, too.” Jody leaned in and kissed her softly.

“Maybe one of these days you'll let me do you after a hard day at work.”

“Not a chance.” Jody shook her head. “I get off making you get off. You can do me on nights when it's just the two of us, start to finish. Not on work nights.”

“Speaking of work,” Kim said.

“I know,” Jody agreed. “Let's case this place so we can go home.”

* * *

Tyesha didn't understand why Marisol had her looking for Thug Woofer's safe. Still, it was exciting to snoop around a superstar's apartment.

She tiptoed through the rooms, feeling the walls in the dim light and reaching behind framed posters of him.

Woof had the predictable rugged good looks of a rap star. In one image, he had his shirt off, showing his chiseled chest and abs above his boxers and low-slung belt.

On top of his bureau was a photograph of him hugging a thickset black woman in front of a modest, single-story house with a giant red bow on it. The woman was crying and grinning. Woof grinned, too, and his eyes were closed. He seemed to be sinking into the hug. Tyesha was surprised at how handsome he looked. Not glamorous, just a regular guy with a great smile, and kind of sweet. How had he gone from that cutie in the photo to the drunken dick on the bed next door?

* * *

As she met up with Kim and Jody in the living room, she chuckled to see Kim adjusting her bra.

“I searched the whole master bedroom suite,” Tyesha said.

Kim and Jody reported finding nothing in both guys' bedrooms, as the three of them pulled out pen flashlights. They found nothing behind any of the framed albums in the living room. They crept down the central hallway of the apartment, peeking behind pictures.

There was a total of five doors in the hallway. They could account for all of them, except a door to the right of the bathroom, recessed slightly into the hallway. Kim tried the doorknob, but it didn't open.

“Okay, Lock Whisperer,” Tyesha said. “Do your stuff.”

Tyesha had given Kim the nickname. Even before she'd started to work with Marisol, Kim had been able to open locks and hot-wire cars. Kim knelt at the door and pulled out her lockpicks.

Jody shone the flashlight beam on the doorknob.

Kim was inserting the pick when they heard a noise from farther up the hallway. Jody snapped off the light and they all froze.

One of the bedroom doors opened, and Brandon shuffled groggily down the hallway toward them. Barely breathing, the three women stood in the slightly recessed alcove only a foot deep. As he approached, they tensed.

Brandon went into the bathroom. When the door closed, the women caught their breath. They heard the seat
clack
up and the sound of the stream into the toilet bowl.

Jody pulled forward as if to move back into the living room, but Tyesha caught her arm.

“Boys are quick,” she whispered. “Stay put.”

The three of them stood flattened against the wall.

Brandon opened the door and went back to bed.

“He didn't even flush or put the seat back down,” Jody said.

“I pity the fiancée,” Tyesha said, as Kim got back to work.

“Ooh, that close call got my adrenaline pumping,” Jody said. “Hurry up so I can get you home.” She tangled her fingers in Kim's hair.

Kim gave Jody a quick kiss on her pelvic bone. “Later, babe, I'm working.”

“Calm the fuck down and focus,” Tyesha said as Jody ran her finger along Kim's ear.

“Don't distract me,” Kim hissed, and then the lock clicked.

The three of them entered what was apparently Thug Woofer's study, a wood-paneled room, where the recessed door had made space for a bookcase. The safe's dial was clearly visible on the wall behind the desk.

“A Muscle Man safe,” Kim said. “My favorite.”

“Wait,” Tyesha said, sliding a fingernail underneath the edge of the door. “It's not locked.” She swung the safe's door open with her nail.

The only thing inside was a half-empty bottle of expensive Scotch.

* * *

In the morning Woof blinked a few times, looking disoriented. “Who the fuck are you?” he asked Tyesha.

Clients never recognized her with her ponytail and glasses, especially not reading a book.

“From last night.” Tyesha shook her chest facetiously, and recognition dawned in his face. “You okay?” she asked.

Woof lifted his head and groaned. He winced as he rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom.

Tyesha packed up her books. She'd gotten a lot done, but now it was time to go home, take a shower, and do a final review of her flash cards before the exam.

Woof stepped out of the bathroom with a condom packet in his hand.

“Where'd we leave off last night?” he asked, biting the end of the package and tearing it open. “I know you stayed to get some of this.” He began to unbuckle his belt.

“Woof,” Tyesha said. “I stayed because I didn't want you to choke on your own vomit. You passed out. Now you're awake and safe and I'm leaving.”

“Wait a minute,” he said. “I paid my money.”

“You paid for three strippers and a private party last night. The party's over.”

“But I paid for some pussy,” he said.

“You paid for some time,” she said. “And the time is over.”

“Fine,” he said and began to look around for his wallet. “How much more do you want?”

“I'm an escort, Woof. That means you call the agency. I don't work for cash. I shouldn't even be here. I just wanted to make sure you woke up breathing.”

“You worried about me?” He smiled.

“Woof, this is business.”

“Fine,” Woof said, pulling out a credit card. “If you an escort, who do I call to get you to suck my dick right now?”

“Nobody,” Tyesha said. “I'm not available today.”

“You don't even know how much I'm willing to pay,” Woof said.

“If you wanna set up another date with me, have your guy call the agency and ask for me—Candi Jones.”

“Girl, what's your real name?”

“Candi Jones is all you need to know.” Tyesha smiled. “Have your guy call if you've got a jones for more candy.” She pulled her bag onto her shoulder and walked to the door.

“Probably gonna see some rich guy who like early morning pussy,” Woof said. “Can't keep yo sugar daddy waiting for a nigga like me, huh? I bet he's white.”

“I have a midterm, and I been here all night, watching over your drunk ass.” She cocked her bag up higher on her shoulder and put a hand on her hip. “You wake up demanding pussy because you passed out last night? This is bullshit. You know what? Don't call the agency. I wouldn't fuck your no-home-training ass for a truckload of money.”