Unfamiliar (14 page)

“Do you want some breakfast? Or will the idea of me cooking shirtless be too much for your dirty little mind to handle? That’s like every woman’s fantasy, right?” he teased me. “I can put a shirt on if that will help.”

“Shut the hell up.” I threw his pillow at him.

“Bacon and eggs okay?”

The thought of food made my stomach twist.

“No, no food.” I cringed.

He chuckled and forced the cup of water and pills into my hands. “Here take these and sleep it off.”

I didn’t want to stay in his bed for one more second. Even if we hadn’t actually done anything, it still was weird.

“Um, actually, I have a paper I need to work on. I should probably head back to campus.” Plus, I really needed to shower. “I feel bad waking Tessa up though.” Especially if she’d spent her night cleaning up after me too.

“I can take you. It's not a big deal.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it's cool. Let me just get dressed.”

“Um.” A problem occurred to me. “What am I supposed to wear?”

I certainly couldn't return to the dorms wearing nothing but Chase's oversized t-shirt.

“Oh yeah, give me a sec.”

He returned a few minutes later with the clothes I’d been wearing last night, only they were now vomit-free.

“I thought I puked all over myself?”

“You did. I, uh, sorta did the laundry. You know, the smell was horrific so really I had no choice.” He handed me my jeans and shirt. “Sorry I didn't fold them or anything. I just pulled them out of the dryer.”

“No, it's fine,” I assured him. “I mean, thank you. You didn't have to do that.”

He just shrugged like it was no big deal. Of course being in a band he probably had drunk girls here all the time so maybe it wasn't anything special that he’d washed my clothes.

“I'll wait out here.”

When I was dressed, I went into the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. My hair looked like a bird's nest. I guess that was the one downside to short hair— you couldn't exactly just pull it up in a ponytail when it didn’t want to cooperate. I wet it down and brushed it back with my fingers. It'd have to do until I could get back to my room and shower properly.

“Ready?” Chase asked as I emerged from the bathroom.

“Yep.”

When we got in his car, he turned the radio down to background noise level.

“So where are you from?” he asked. Great, so we were going to do the whole awkward small-talk thing.

“Southlake. It's about an hour from here, near Lawrence.”

“Oh yeah, we've played a couple shows in Lawrence, but I don't think I've ever heard of Southlake.”

“It's pretty small— there’s nothing to do there.”

“Is that why you wanted to move closer to the city?”

“No, not really. I just mostly wanted to get away from my dad,” I admitted.
  

“Yeah, you mentioned something about him last night. Drinking problem, right?”

I paused, not really sure how much of my personal life I wanted to reveal to Chase. Then again, he had spent last night cleaning up my vomit and it didn’t get much more personal than that. “We sorta had a falling out.”

“Oh, I'm sorry.”

“Yeah, he thought that the college fund my grandmother had left me was just free money for the taking. He's a real classy guy.” I bit my lip nervously. I couldn’t believe I just admitted that to him.

“Jesus.” He shook his head in disbelief. Chase had admitted that he thought I was some sort of stuck up snob the way I’d been treating him. I guess finding out that I was dirt-poor surprised him. “That sucks. Why would he do something like that?” He didn’t act like he felt sorry for me. He just seemed honestly curious and for that reason I felt compelled to tell him my entire story.

I told him about how my mom had just up and left when I was a kid and how my dad had turned to alcohol and gambling after that to cope. I told him about how my neighbors had taken me under their wing and made sure I had a hot dinner to eat every night until I learned how to cook for myself. I left out the fact that it was Braxton's family. I didn't know why, but I didn't want to talk about Braxton to Chase—not after last night.

“Yep, so that's my sad story. What about you? You never told me where you were from.”

“Well, I’m from here. I grew up in Lenexa.” Chase rapped his fingers against the steering wheel. He suddenly seemed nervous which was unlike him. “I had a very comfortable life growing up in a very wealthy neighborhood. My parents are both lawyers which is why they want me to study Law.”

I was still blown away by the fact that Chase had grown up the complete opposite to me. His living conditions, the car he drove, and the way he acted just didn’t seem to reflect someone from a wealthy family.

“You really surprised me,” was all I could think of to say.

“I’m not that surprising. I’m kind of a cliché, actually. Rich kid rebelling against his parents by doing something they don’t approve of.”

I knew he was only saying that because he was trying to do the whole “tough guy” thing. “So your parents have really never been to one of your shows?”

“No, they’re too good for that.” His tone was bitter as he stared straight ahead at the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel.

I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. “I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is,” he said with a shrug. “My sister’s awesome though, so that’s something.”

“That’s great that you have someone who supports you.”

Chase didn’t say anything after that and a comfortable silence set in between us. Had Chase and I just had a moment? We’d actually had a serious conversation that hadn’t ended with us wanting to kill each other. I’d never thought such a thing was even possible.

“What are you doing later?” he asked suddenly.   

“Probably just studying, why?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to get together and work on the song tonight? You know, for class?”

“Oh yeah, sure. Where? The bridge?”

“I was thinking my place.”

“That's fine. What time?”

“How about seven?”

“Um, this is going to sound lame, but do you think you could pick me up? I know it's a huge inconvenience; it's just that I don't have a car at the moment. I plan to get another job soon so I can start really saving money but--” I was rambling. I needed to just shut up.

“I don't mind. How about I pick you up at six and we can grab dinner first?”

“Okay.”

I realized then that we had been parked in front of the dorms for a while now just talking. I didn't think I'd ever talked so much to anyone in my entire life. I was suddenly embarrassed that I’d told him all those personal things about myself. I wondered what he thought of me now.

“Well, I guess I'll see you later?” I bit my lip, uncertain why I was suddenly so nervous around him.

“See you at six.”

I went to my room and grabbed my shower caddy. It was just before noon so the bathroom was free. Tessa was still over at Chase's apartment so our room was unusually quiet which was not good because it made it hard not to think about everything that had happened last night—well, the stuff I actually remembered.

The one thing that stood out the most about last night was Chase saying:
There aren't enough words to describe how beautiful you look.

I was pretty sure he had said that to me anyway. I didn't think that was part of the dream.
The dream
. Holy crap, what was that? That was probably the most intense thing I had ever experienced and it wasn't even real. Which made me wonder what it would be like if it was real…

I quickly forced myself to stop thinking about Chase like that. It wasn’t right. He wasn’t my boyfriend. I didn’t love him— I was actually just beginning to kind of like him. But I did love Braxton.

But as hard as I tried not to, I kept thinking about Chase. I wasn't sure how to feel about the things that he’d said to me. And I wasn't sure what to think about the fact that just within the last twenty-four hours he’d witnessed me completely wasted, cleaned up my puke, and found out that I’d been fantasizing about him. Nice.

I tried to keep busy for the rest of the morning so I wouldn't dwell on everything. I went down to the cafeteria and grabbed some snacks from the vending machine to sneak into the library. I had to print off a paper that was due for American Literature.

The library was deserted so I was able to find a private corner on the fourth floor where I could work on my paper and eat my trail mix without having to worry about the wrath of the head librarian. She was an ancient woman with two hearing aids and a constant scowl. The rest of the staff consisted of students who had chosen to be library aides to qualify for work study and they didn’t care about students breaking the No Food Allowed rule--they broke it themselves.

It took me most of the day to finish up my paper and finally get it printed off. It was almost five and I wanted to change before Chase came to pick me up. I tried to tell myself it was because I was covered in library dust and had nothing to do with the fact that I wanted him to call me beautiful again.

As I was heading back to my room, I suddenly saw Braxton walking toward me.

”I was waiting for you outside your room. Someone told me they thou
ght you were at the library so—”

“Yeah, I had a paper to finish,” I said curtly, refusing to feel guilty over something that never actually happened.

“Can we talk?”

“I guess so.”

“Listen, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings,” he said as he took my hands into his. “It's just with everything happening with mom, I don’t know how to handle any other changes. Especially ones that involve you--you're supposed to be my constant, you know? The one thing I can always depend on. But I still had no right to react like that so I wanted to tell you I'm sorry and ask you to forgive me.”

He stared down at me with those baby blue eyes and smiled that endearing smile of his that usually got him out of trouble with just about anybody. I don't think anyone could refuse him when he put on the 'smolder'. “Please?” he asked.

“Yeah, okay. Forgiven,” I told him. “I’m really sorry about your mom, Braxton.”

He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips and I realized with a jolt that I felt nothing at all.
The dream
, that I wasn't ever admitting to having, about Chase stirred something inside of me that Braxton had never been able to. What was wrong with me? It hadn’t actually happened. I didn't actually have any feelings for Chase. It was just a stupid dream. It didn't mean anything.

At least that’s what I kept trying to tell myself.

“Are you okay?” I asked, trying to focus on the boy standing in front of me.

“Not really.”

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I know how hard this must be on you.”

He bit his lip like he was trying to stop himself from crying. “It was expected, but that doesn’t make it any easier to face, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his chest. I wondered if maybe I should tell him about last night, but nothing had actually happened so I decided not to bring it up. There really was no point in upsetting him anymore.

“Do you want to grab something to eat?”

“Um, yeah.” I couldn’t tell him no. “Okay. I kinda have a study date tonight over at a friend’s house. Do you mind dropping me off there after dinner?

“Yeah, I can do that.”

I got out my cell phone and sent a quick text to Chase cancelling dinner plans but promising to be there later. I didn't want to completely blow him off--that wouldn’t be fair. I was actually looking forward to hanging out with him again--just as friends--but Braxton was my boyfriend. I needed to remember that.

Chase

My insides were still churning.

Even though Hailey hadn’t seen me this afternoon, I’d seen her. And her boyfriend. I’d been heading toward the library to return a book on contemporary piano when I’d caught sight of them kissing.

That was all I could stand to see. As a strange feeling stung me, I’d turned around and headed straight back to my car, not wanting to run into them and create an awkward situation.

Yeah, I knew Hailey had a boyfriend; what I didn’t know was how much it bothered me seeing them together. I mean, why the hell did I care so much?

Hailey and I had actually had fun last night and then really connected this morning, but that obviously hadn’t meant anything to her because the second her asshole boyfriend had come back into the picture, she’d completely forgotten about me.

Even though we’d agreed on going out to dinner before working on our assignment together, she’d blown me off to hang out with her douchebag boyfriend. All I’d gotten was a simple text message:

Sorry I can’t make it to dinner. I’ll see you tonight.

You know what the messed up thing was? A part of me had actually felt disappointed. But that was my fault. It was my fault for getting too close to Hailey and letting her become a familiar presence in my life.