Trouble (9 page)

He
punched Matt in the mouth and followed up with one to his stomach
and to his chest.

Matt
didn’t flinch from the blows. He stood his ground. Some blood
trickled from the side of his lips, “And don’t think I didn’t know
what you were trying to do in the ramparts. You wanted to hurt me
by kissing her again while I was coming up. You wanted me to let
go. Well I don’t give up that easily.”

“
I guess what I’m asking is if she’s just a good lay for you.
Using her and then boasting about it.” His voice was full of
bitterness and anger.

“
After all this time, you think I’m just out to do it to her?
You’ve made my life so miserable. You say hurtful things. Why do
you keep hassling me?”

“
You haven’t answered my question.”

The move
was so fast that Byron did not see it coming. In one sweeping
movement, he kicked Byron’s legs then thrust him to the ground with
his elbow on his neck. Byron was no match for Matt who was very
strong and could have hurt him really badly. “I can break your legs
or your arms if I want to. Don’t ever talk like that to me. I’m not
using her and I don’t want to put tadpoles inside her if that’s
what you’re implying.”

Byron
struggled to breathe as Matt continued to pin him down.”You like
this don’t you? Breaking my arms or legs and then perhaps another
hug to make me lose my self-respect,” he said angrily.

“
I don’t like what I’m doing and I’m not hugging you! I wanted
to be like a brother to you.”

“
While holding me down like this?”

“
Look at what you’ve done to me.” Some blood trickled from his
nose and lips to Byron. “You hit me first. I held you down to stop
you from hitting me and making me too angry to forget myself. Why
do you dislike me?”

“
I don’t dislike you. I asked you a simple question because
Natalie is like a sister to me and you humiliate me.”

“
You are violent. You punched me. I’m just so frustrated. You
make me feel like I’m some rotten scum,” Matt said with a pained
look as he let go of him.

Byron
dived for the reclining chair. He whirled around with the gun in
his hand. He was shaking visibly.

“
You think you can go around breaking bones when you don’t want
to discuss issues,” Byron’s face was livid with anger.

“
You hit me first and I lost my cool.”

“
You think you can come here from Indiana and mess around with
her? Sow your wild oats and then boast about it on facebook or
youtube?”

“
I’m not here to mess around with girls. And stop saying that
I’m the hotshot son of a doctor. Do you want to know the truth?”
Matt had stood up. “My dad hates me. He even told me that my birth
was an accident. I’m not going to hurt Natalie if that’s what you
think,” he said angrily. “You hate me so much. I just don’t know
why.”

“
I don’t hate you.”

“
I thought you were my friend, a brother but you’re just like
Russ. Before you shoot let me spell out one thing for you. I love
Natalie!” he said defiantly.

It
occurred to Byron that Matt was so very much like him in
temperament. It was as if he was looking at a clone of
himself.

He was
ashen faced when Matt’s words sunk in. “Oh my God,” he gasped as he
put away the gun. “I almost shot him,” he was mumbling to himself.
He cradled his head. “I can’t believe this! Oh my God!” He was
shaking uncontrollably and gasping for air as he rolled
over.

Natalie
ran from the mansion as Matt turned him around hovering over him.
He was hyperventilating. She held Byron tenderly, fanning him, her
eyes moist.

“
He’s like a brother to me,” she said defensively to
Matt.

“
He likes you.”

“
Sometimes I regret not being able to have a friendship with
him.”

“
He’d like that I’m sure,” there was a slight note of
bitterness in his voice. “He’s kind of obsessed with
you.”

Natalie
looked sharply at him, “He understands that since he’s like a
brother to me it’s hard for me to relate to him as a girlfriend.
He’s accepted that. That’s fine with him.”

What
Natalie had not told anyone was that she was going through so many
emotional issues especially with her parents’ divorce. She wanted
to preserve the brotherly relationship with Byron because it helped
her deal constructively with her own issues. He was going through
his own challenges and was struggling through it. She did not want
to complicate their lives with a romance that might get too hot for
them to handle. Sometimes having only a little of what was good was
the better option. Too much overflowing love from Byron could be
destructive if she was not able to contain the tsunami like
emotions.

“
I wanted so much to be his friend,” Matt groaned.

“
You can still be his friend. He’d love that very
much.”

“
Now I’ve messed things up.” (“By hitting your brother” but he
did not say that.)

“
You haven’t made a mess of things. I’m taking up your offer of
the 2 weeks,” Natalie smiled.

That’s
awesome.”

“
Can’t you two get along?”

“
He doesn’t like me.”

“
What makes you say that?” Natalie sounded surprised. “He
thinks highly of you and even defended you.”

Matt was
taken aback.

“
After we came back from the Station, he said he wished he had
a brother like you. Someone to love and argue with; the sibling
rivalry kind of thing.”

“
I guess we went too far today. I hit him.”

“
He provoked you but I really don’t think he intended to hit
you,” She paused. “I think it’s healthy to talk things over and get
things off your chest. I don’t think he hates you.”

Matt
looked away feeling embarrassed that he had been off handed in his
responses and that he had treated Byron shabbily.

“
I guess in his own fumbling way he wanted to make sure that
his trust was not misplaced.”

Gradually
Byron calmed down and breathed normally. He smiled at them as he
got up slowly.

“
Nat can you give me a minute with Matt?”

Natalie
dived into the pool.

“
I misjudged you. I loved her so much I couldn’t let go. She
chose you over me. I’m okay with that now,” He reached over and
wiped the small trickle of blood on Matt’s lips. “Did I do that? I
don’t know what came over me.” He smiled.”I’m letting go
now.”

Matt was
visibly shaken, “You’re letting go?”

“
Yes, I’ve been kind of selfish. I’m now happy for her. I
always loved her even when she was Russ’s girl and I always wished
every day that they’d break up so I’d come into the picture. But
when she chose you, I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t accept that she
saw me as a brother. I’m okay now.”

Matt was
speechless. He thought of his selfish dad and was touched by
Byron’s gesture.

“
And Matt,” Byron hesitated. “I’m so terribly sorry back there.
I can’t believe I was going to shoot you. I lost
control.”

“
Relax. I antagonized you. Sorry for pushing you down like
that,” he paused. “I knew you were not going to shoot. You’d never
shoot a brother,” he smiled.

“
Let’s shake to it,” Byron said.

The dark
shadows had gone as suddenly as it had descended.

Byron
went into the mansion to get a drink and to cool off in the
shower.

+++++

Matt swam
under water and then it hit him. He suddenly had the revelation
that forgiveness meant letting go of all the dark shadows of hate
and bitterness lurking in his mind. He thought of his grandparents
who were always there for him. His grand dad said that he had a
father in heaven who always cared for him, loved him and would
never leave him. He suddenly realized the secret of forgiveness.
One had to fill one’s body and soul with love. This love replaced
the hate, bitterness and anger. One had to process this decision
and then put it into action. He was doing that now. He felt a great
weight coming out of his body and soul. He felt calm, relaxed and
at peace with himself.

In his
own affirming way Byron had shown Matt the meaning of true love by
letting go of the girl he loved so dearly in the world above
anything else. That took real courage to do without feeling bitter
and angry. He had replaced his wounded feelings with real
love.

Suddenly
he was free. He was overwhelmed by this wonderful feeling of
love.

Natalie
swam over looking quite alarmed because his eyes were red and tears
glistened.

“
I’ve done it! I’ve done it!” Matt said excitedly. It was as if
he was speaking to himself. “Oh my God, I’ve done it.” His eyes
sparkled as if he had just found something of great
beauty.

She
looked quizzically at him. She was perceptive enough not to say
anything but allowed him to process his issues.

“
My dad. He said he hated me. That I was an accident, that I’d
amount to nothing.” He spoke with a new revelation. “I’ve forgiven
him.” He looked up into the sky and shouted, “I’m free!”

She
hugged him and felt happy that he had found his freedom in her
presence.

“
I understand how you feel. My dad has just left us. It can be
a terribly lonely feeling.”

“
I used to cry myself to sleep.”

“
It’s healthy for boys to cry. I’m sure your dad will come
around to seeing what a great son he’s got. He’s sure to change.
They all do.”

“
I’m sure he will.” He welcomed the warmth of her body. He was
reminded of the Police Station scene where Byron had held her so
tenderly as she cried. He felt funny because their roles had
reversed. She was confident and affirming while he seemed unsure of
himself. It seemed that they were made for each other. They were
kindred spirits. They both had gone through personal trauma but she
was more resilient than him. He needed her to affirm his spirit and
convince him that he could rise above all the difficult things he
faced. It was an awesome feeling of love. He sorely needed that
kind of loving and he wanted lots of it!

“
Can I make a confession to you?”

There was
something about Matt that she found refreshing. He was not trying
to impress her but just being himself and being honest with his
feelings. It was almost childlike in its innocence.

“
I suspect it has something to do with me,” she said
perceptively. “Can I punch you in the mouth if I don’t like the
sound of it?” she asked gently. She didn’t want a formal kind of
confession but a rather more casual one. If she didn’t like the
sound of it she could decline without sounding too formal and
rude.

“
Yes, please. I’d love that very much,” he said liking her
style instantly. “I fell in love the first time I saw you in the
station. Your eyes were all red and you were in tears. When Byron
told me how you had defended Quentin I wanted to put my arms around
you and say, “That’s my kind of girl.” What I love about you is
that in spite of your problems you went out of your way to help
Quentin.”

Natalie
stared at him noncommittally. “A knight in shining armor observing
her princess.” She knew she sounded awkward but she was trying to
hide the fluttering of her heart. He was so direct in the way he
spoke and his words sounded so powerful because he spoke so
sincerely from the heart. There was nothing contrived. He hadn’t
practiced and memorized the words to say. It just came out
naturally.

“
You hear this all the time from boys trying to date you?” He
sound rather deflated.

“
No,” she said rather too quickly.

“
You’re not going to punch me?”

Natalie
realized that in many ways Russ, Byron and Matt were birds of the
same feather. They all came from challenging homes. Matt was very
fortunate because he was able to process his issues very quickly.
He could be a positive influence on Byron and her on how to adjust
to the traumas and angst of growing up.

“
I didn’t make my little speech after watching Gone With The
Wind,” Matt said trying to be witty.

“
Or listening to Taylor Swift?” Natalie joked.

“
I won’t bring you trouble,” Matt said paraphrasing the song’s
lyrics. He came closer to her and wanted so desperately to kiss her
passionately.

Natalie
touched his mouth. He remained still as he kissed the part of his
lips that Byron had punched. It sent shock waves through his body.
He felt numb with the awesome feeling of falling in
love.

“
And Nat I’m not very good at having a normal conversation. I
just found that out with Byron. I’m awkward sometimes. If I say
anything that hurts you in the next two weeks can you promise me
something?”

“
What?”

“
Can you punch me where you kissed me?”

“
You’re impossible,” she sighed. She was beginning to like
him.

“
Nat, I’m going to say this every day. I love you.”