The Stillness Of You (6 page)

His hair curled
around his face, the humidity and moisture making the waves crazy
and those damn eyes were relentless as they stared back at me.

“Do you want
to…” My voice trailed off as I nodded toward the top of the
stairs.

He didn’t
look away and my mouth went dry. “Yeah, I want to.”

“
Okay,” I
managed to get out as I took a step back. “Last one to the top is a
dumb ass loser.”

I whirled
around and bolted, my legs pumping fast and furious. I couldn’t
handle the way he was looking at me because I didn’t want it to
stop. And that was so wrong. There could never be a Ben and Georgia
because on what planet did a guy who had everything ever end up
with someone like me? Someone damaged. Someone who popped lithium
and klonopin because if she didn’t things would go to
shit.

Someone who
could snap at any moment.

I flew up
the steps, my lungs burning as I took them like the devil was on my
ass, and I suppose in a way he was. A hot, delectable devil that
represented everything I wanted and could never have.

Guys like
Ben Lancaster belonged with girls who could handle life. He
belonged with a girl who wasn’t afraid that every single day she
was moving closer and closer to an inevitable end.

One her mother
had taken three years ago.

My
bracelets jangled crazily as I reached the top and I shook out my
hands, but the decision to nip whatever the hell it was between us
in the bud, died when I glanced back and watched him walk toward
me. He’d just cleared the top step, a huge grin on his face and I
couldn’t help it, my lips curved and I giggled.

He was
walking around in a circle, swaggering and throwing his arms down
like he was in the ring. The Rocky theme song fell from his mouth
and the more exaggerated his moves got the more I
giggled.

A few
early morning souls appeared from nowhere and glanced our way but
he didn’t care. He didn’t care about any of it. When was the last
time I’d been with someone who just didn’t give a shit?

Okay, let me
rephrase. When was the last time I had been with someone who didn’t
give a shit and wasn’t higher than a kite?

But then
something changed. Something subtle yet so powerful the hair stood
up on the back of my neck. My mouth was still dry and I fingered my
empty water bottle. I thought that even if the damn thing was full,
it would never quench the thirst I was feeling.

Ben advanced on
me, his steps slow and assured, like a lion or a tiger on the
prowl.

Instinctively, I took a step back, my belly clenched, my
heart beating so fast I was pretty sure both Ben and the people
behind him could hear it. Hell, the sound of it clogged my ears and
for a second I was disoriented.

And then
he was so close to me that his musky, potent scent filled my nose.
It was like spice and mint rolled into one. Hot and cold at the
same time. It washed over me, it fell into me, and oh my fucking
god did I like it. No one who had just run for over an hour and a
half should smell as good as Ben Lancaster did.

For one
frozen moment in time I stared up into his eyes and waited for
something to happen. His thick lashes were moist, beads of sweat
pebbled across his forehead, and his breathing was as ragged and
broken as mine.

I opened my
mouth to say something. Anything.

We can’t do this
.

We’re so wrong
for each other.

Matt will kill us
.

“
Do you
feel this?” he whispered hoarsely.
“You have to feel this. It can’t just be me.
There’s no fucking way it can just be me.”

My mouth
was open but nothing came out. I felt all of it. Every. Single. Bit
of it.

And then his
hand slid behind my neck, cradling me just above my shoulders, his
long fingers moving over my body with a hunger and an urgency that
I matched. I might have moaned, in fact, I’m sure I did because his
eyes widened, and his lips parted.

I felt…I felt
crazy but without the crazy.

It was
the anticipation. It was all the moments and seconds and minutes
that had passed between us over the last few days. It was that
first time I’d glanced over my shoulder and spied him in Matt’s
loft. It was his breath at my cheek the night before. It was
want.

It was all of
that and so much more.

“I feel you,” I
whispered.

And then his
hot, demanding mouth was on mine, and that so much more, became
suddenly clear.

It was
everything.

Ben

Georgia felt
amazing.

Better than I’d
imagined and trust me, I had spent most of the night lying in that
pullout sofa that was about two sizes too small, thinking how good
she would feel curled up against me.

Or
beneath me. Naked. Preferably totally fucking naked.

I had
been dying to wrap my arms around her and kiss her senseless ever
since dinner the night before. It’s all I had thought about. How I
would taste her, hold her, devour her. Christ, staring across a
dinner table and watching her eat was too much. She made eating a
meatball look like oral foreplay and the thing of it was, she
wasn’t working it. She was listening to whatever bullshit I was
saying and she was nibbling on that piece of meat and I was
envisioning her mouth nibbling something else entirely.

It had been a
long night.

And this
morning, watching her run to the top of the museum steps, her sweet
round ass and those trim dancer’s legs right there in front of me,
was nearly too much. I’d been battling a case of the nerves ever
since I’d laid eyes on her in the kitchen a few hours earlier.

Me. Ben
Lancaster. A guy who had not gotten this worked up over a girl
since my older sister Amanda’s best friend, Tiffany, took my
virginity when I was fourteen. I’d been a wreck then, but shit,
there was a hell of a lot of experience between the guy I’d been—a
kid who had blown his load five seconds in—and the guy I was
now.

I’m not
boasting but in my world women were like candy, and I might have
been a lot more concerned about the type of candy I ate than some
of the guys on my team, but I sure as hell liked to dip my fingers
in every now and again and taste whatever was there.

My point
was that I knew my way around women, but this girl, this hot little
package with eyes that felt as if they could see into my soul, she
had me tied up in all sorts of knots.

And she felt
fucking fantastic.

I groaned
as her mouth opened beneath mine, it felt that good. Her tongue
danced along the edge of my mouth before she sank deep inside. I
heard her make a noise, a half wild kind of sound, and my dick
sprang to life as my hands buried themselves into her hair. It had
come loose from her ponytail and at the moment I was using it as an
anchor to hold her head steady so I could taste every inch of
her.

I felt
her arms at my waist and as I let go of her mouth and slid my lips
down the side of her neck she wrapped them around me and held on
tight.

I
couldn’t help myself. I let my hands wander down her back until I
cupped her butt and pulled her in as close as I could. My erection
strained against her and for a moment I couldn’t think clearly. I
was hot and tight and I felt like I was crawling out of my
skin.

What the hell
had this girl done to me?

“Oh, Ben,” she
whispered into my neck.

Jesus.
Christ. If I didn’t get some distance and perspective I was going
to lose it big time. Blowing my load five seconds in when I was
fourteen wasn’t anything compared to blowing my load when I was
twenty-four and I wasn’t even in.

When I
was making out with the hottest girl I’d ever met at the top of the
Rocky steps. In public. Hell the fuck yeah, that would be
bad.

I slid my mouth
back to hers and loosened my ironclad grip on her ass. It took
everything I had to brush a soft kiss across her lips and let her
go.

I was
aware that a group of guys who had run up behind us were watching
and I tossed them a dark look of warning before I grabbed Georgia’s
hand and pulled her down the stairs. I didn’t say anything until we
reached the bottom, mostly because I had no idea what to
say.

Sorry for
sticking my tongue down your throat and feeling up your ass in
public?

“We should go,”
she said softly.

The moment was
gone and I said nothing.

We
started out at a nice easy pace and I did my best to match my long
strides to her shorter ones and after an hour we slowed to a
leisurely walk. American pride was everywhere, the stars and
stripes, red, white, and blue. Growing up Canadian, I was used to a
much more subdued display when my country’s birthday, July
1
^st
, rolled
around. But I had to give it to the Americans, they sure liked
their flags and parades and it was nice. Real nice.

We
stopped at a corner, one I recognized and I knew we weren’t far
from Matt’s loft. I spied a coffee shop that advertised all you can
eat breakfast across the street and glanced down at
Georgia.

“I don’t know
about you but I’m starved. Do you want to grab some breakfast?” I
pointed to the coffee shop.

“
Oh.” She
sounded distracted, her eyebrows arched as she followed my finger.
“Uh, I don’t have any money on me. I didn’t think to bring
any.”

A guy and
his overweight golden retriever walked toward us and he slowed down
a few feet away. I couldn’t tell if he was staring at Georgia or if
he was giving me the once over. I knew the look—that cross between
do I know this guy or is he really who I think he is—and I didn’t
want any interruptions. I don’t mind signing autographs and if I
was at a charity event or a game I’d sign them until my fingers
cramped, but not today.

Today I wanted
to be a normal guy out with a beautiful girl on the Fourth of
July.

I grabbed
Georgia’s elbow and started across the street. “It’s all good. I
grabbed my credit card before we left.”

The small
coffee shop was busy, with a lineup at the counter and from what I
could see all the tables were full. A few looked like they’d be
clearing out soon but I wasn’t sure how many folks were waiting
ahead of us.

A tall
man, with a balding head and sharp features glanced up from the
cash machine. His white apron was smeared with grease and what
looked like ketchup. “Sorry, guys. If you’re looking for fast
service you’ll have to go elsewhere. We’re crazy busy this
morning.” His eyes narrowed a bit and he got the same look on his
face that dog-walking-guy had.

I nodded.
“It’s alright.” And turned to Georgia. “Do you want to wait, or go
somewhere else, or just go home?”

“
Of
course,” the man said as he elbowed his way out from behind the
counter and through the line of people waiting to pay. “We always
make room for one of our boys. Welcome to Philly.”

Usually, I
wasn’t a guy who used the celebrity thing to get what he wanted and
truthfully most of the guys I knew weren’t like that either—most of
us were small town boys—but living in LA, I’d met a lot of
celebrities and some of them would do anything for a freebie or
special treatment.

But today
was different. Christ, today the eggs and bacon in this place were
killing me and I had my eye on a booth in the back that a family
had just left. It was darker back there, kind of secluded and I
could have Georgia all to myself.

I leaned
forward aware that a few more people were staring. “I’d appreciate
the table in the back and if you want me to sign anything, just
send it over.”

His grin
widened. “No problem.” He stepped back quickly and signaled to a
young girl who had just filled coffees for the table closest to us.
“Amber, last booth. Now.” And then to us he said with a huge smile.
“Follow me, Mr. Lancaster.”

“
Wow,”
Georgia muttered, rolling her eyes.
“Is that all it takes?”

I settled
my hand in the small of her back and pushed her forward, leaning
down so I could whisper in her ear—and catch a whiff of that
summery smell that I was fast becoming addicted to. “You want to
eat don’t you?”

Our host,
who introduced himself as Eli, gave us each a menu and grinned. “I
think the Flyers are going all the way with you this season. I’m
telling you a lot of fans jumped for joy the day your trade was
announced.”

“
Thanks.
I appreciate it.”

Georgia leaned
her elbows onto the table and glanced up at Eli, her eyebrows
furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

He looked
down at her as if she was crazy and pointed at me. “Ben Lancaster
is without a doubt the finest center in the NHL. Hell, even Crosby
can’t touch him. Lancaster’s hands are magic.”

“
Ben?”
Her nose wrinkled in this way that nearly made me lose my mind. Her
eyes sparkled and that fucking tongue was sweeping across her lower
lip as she frowned. “You told me your name was Jack.”

“Did I?” I
asked, wondering where she was going with this.

She nodded.
“Isn’t that what you said last night when you picked me up on the
corner of John and New Street.”