The Forest Ranger's Husband (10 page)

She should ask him about the wildfire now while he seemed willing to talk. But how did she do that without appearing too interested?

He walked around the truck and got inside, then buckled his seat belt before starting the engine. She held on to the armrest as he pulled onto Main Street and headed outside of town.

He glanced at her. “You look tired today. Everything okay at home?”

It seemed odd that he knew so much about her personal
life. And even odder that he could tell she hadn’t slept well the night before.

She brushed a hand across her green shirt, feeling self-conscious. For some reason, she didn’t like looking tired in front of this man. She wanted him to find her young and attractive. Now, that was a crazy notion after all these years. “Davie kept me up most of the night. He has an upset stomach and didn’t go to school today.”

Matt raised one dark eyebrow. “Anything serious?”

“I don’t think so. Sue called me about thirty minutes ago and said he’s not throwing up anymore. He’s sucking on a homemade ice pop and watching cartoons.”

“Good. I’d hate for him to be sick for his birthday.”

“You still planning to come to the party?”

He flashed a smile. “I wouldn’t miss it! What can I bring?”

“Nothing. Just yourself.”

“Is there anything in particular Davie’s been wanting for a present?”

“Only everything in sight.”

He laughed, a deep bass sound that reminded her of low thunder just before a rainstorm on the mountain. “He’s a normal kid, then.”

“He doesn’t need everything. I don’t want to spoil him, so please don’t go overboard on gifts.”

“I agree.” He paused, glancing in his rearview mirror. “How many big tractors does Hank Cleary have?”

She blinked, reminding herself that they were driving out to Cove Ranch to take a look at Mr. Cleary’s large cats, not to discuss her personal life. “Two, both with disc plows on them. From what my range specialist told me, Hank’s always been a big help during wildfires. He and his son are experienced and know how to build fire line quickly.”

“And you’ve already spoken to him, to see if he’s willing to let us contract his equipment again this year?”

“Of course, by phone. He’s a nice man and easy to work with.”

She fidgeted, wondering how to broach the subject that was really on her mind. She decided to just ask. “Matt, I don’t mean to be nosy, but have you ever told anyone what happened on the wildfire when you were injured?”

He tensed and hardened his jaw, his eyes narrowed and alert. “I’ve told the Lord.”

“And that’s all?”

“That’s all I need.”

“But maybe a professional could also help you.”

His gaze bit into hers. “Help me with what? Who have you been talking to, Andie?”

“I, um…” She didn’t want to tell him that she’d called Ken. Matt might think she was prying into his life. Or that she cared about him. “I heard that one of your men died on that fire and figured you might need someone to talk to about it. I know how I’d feel if I lost a crewman.”

“No, you can’t prepare for that, Andie. No one really knows how they’d feel until it happens to them.”

“Well, I know I’d feel rotten inside. Maybe even guilty because I’d survived when one of my men had died.”

His expression darkened, his profile hard as granite. That alone told her she’d hit the nail on the head. “It’s not your fault, Matt. It happened, that’s all. You shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“You don’t understand.” He shook his head, gazing out the windshield, refusing to meet her eyes.

“Then tell me. I’m trying to understand, Matt.”

“No you’re not, Andie. You don’t want to understand anything about me. Not anymore. You wish I’d never darkened your doorstep and come back into your life.”

His voice had lowered to an angry growl. They’d been parted for a long time, but she still knew him well enough to
detect the anguish he tried to hide. If she’d been a vindictive person, she should be glad he was hurting. Instead, she felt sorrow for his pain and longed to help him recover.

“Yes, I am trying to understand. Really I am. I—I’ve been hurting just like you,” she said. “When you returned, I wasn’t prepared, that’s all. I certainly don’t wish you harm. And no matter what happens between us, Davie needs his father. I think you should consider getting some professional help, just to make sure you’re feeling happy and content inside.”

Her concession seemed to soften him some small bit. His grip on the steering wheel relaxed slightly, his knuckles no longer white.

“I’m sorry, Andie. I didn’t mean to bite at you. I’m dealing with what happened in my own way. I just wish everyone would stop telling me what I need.”

“Okay, okay,” she conceded. “Then you tell me. What do you need, Matt?”

“My family,” he responded without hesitation.

Great! She’d blundered into this discussion without thinking it through. She had no one to blame but herself. He’d always been brutally honest. Why should she be surprised now?

“You can visit Davie anytime you want.”

“And what about you?” He looked at her, his eyes filled with contrition and hope.

“I…I don’t know what you’re getting at. We’re married in name only, Matt.”

“I think I’ve already made it clear that I’d like to change that. I’d like to be a real family again, living under one roof.” She opened her mouth to speak, but he lifted a hand to cut her off. “Don’t say anything right now, Andie. I know we both need more time to get to know one another again and for me to prove I won’t run out on you again. I just want you
to know that I’m in this for keeps this time.” He emphasized his words.

Now it was her turn to face forward and ignore his searching look. He was asking her for something she didn’t think she could give. Certainly not without love, which he hadn’t mentioned.

“What other fire equipment will you need this summer?” he asked.

The quick change of topic wasn’t lost on Andie. He’d had his say and now wanted to move on, as if he feared she might turn him down flat and never broach the subject again.

Because she didn’t want to talk about their relationship, she played along. She rattled off a verbal list. Various equipment, heavy machinery, catering of meals and portable toilets her fire crews would need in case of a wildfire.

By the time they arrived at Cove Ranch, she felt like a caged tiger ready to jump out of the closed confines of Matt’s truck. They met with Mr. Cleary, signed the contracts to use his large cats during fire season and returned to town without any more discussion about their family, or lack thereof.

Instead, Matt and Andie reminisced about funny stories during their experiences fighting wildfire. “Remember that time Ken set his tent on fire?”

Andie couldn’t help laughing. “As I recall, a skunk had gotten inside. Ken insisted on using those old-fashioned flame lanterns. When he went inside the tent, the skunk surprised him and he dropped the lantern.”

Matt chuckled, deep and low in his chest. “If not for your quick thinking, the whole forest could have burned down. Good thing you grabbed that bucket of water and doused the flames when you did. I don’t know what surprised Ken more—the skunk, or being drenched with a bucket of icy water.”

Andie pressed a hand over her eyes and shook her head.
She laughed, remembering the good times they’d shared. They’d been so happy. So in love.

And just as quickly, her laughter turned to tears. She turned away so Matt wouldn’t see. So he wouldn’t know how much she mourned their lost years together. If only she could put aside the hurt and regain that love. But she just didn’t know how.

O
n Saturday morning, Matt arrived early at Taylor Park, across the street from the elementary school. April twenty-second. Davie’s birthday. Matt would never forget this date as long as he lived.

He felt good today. He’d hiked three miles in forty-five minutes wearing a pack with thirty pounds of weight. He’d fallen once, wrenching his leg, but hopped back up and kept going. The leg had held, hurting him less, and he was optimistic. If everything progressed as planned, he figured he’d be able to pass his fire-training conditioning physical in three weeks.

As he pulled his truck into the parking lot, he could make out Andie standing on a low ladder, tying balloons to the pavilion near the playground. A large, curved sign hung over her head that read Happy Birthday Davie. Nearby, Davie pushed little Rose around in her stroller. The baby waved her chubby arms and smiled. Davie clapped his hands, then threw back his head and laughed when the baby copied him.

A flood of warmth enveloped Matt’s chest. He could think of no place on earth he’d rather be than here with his family. He watched Rose with curiosity, wishing he’d been here the
day Davie was born. Wishing he and Andie could have more children together.

It took a minute for Matt to gather several packages in his arms. No cane today. Since he’d exercised hard that morning, he moved slowly, resting his legs, fearing his thigh might start cramping up on him and ruin his day.

He gazed at the assortment of other gifts sitting on the backseat of his truck and planned to make several trips to retrieve them all. Andie wouldn’t approve of spoiling Davie, but Matt couldn’t seem to help himself. He could just imagine what she’d say when she discovered the gift he’d set up in Davie’s bedroom while they were here at the park. Matt justified the presents by telling himself he’d missed too many birthdays and Christmases with his wife and son.

As he approached the picnic area, he saw Brett carrying a large cardboard box toward the pavilion.

“Where do you want the games set up?” Brett called to Andie.

A roll of red crepe paper dangled from Andie’s hand as she pointed toward the grass. “We’ll want the water balloons and relay races over there, away from the food.”

Knowing his sister-in-law would undoubtedly be here, Matt scanned the area for Susan. She wasn’t here. Yet. Matt locked down his temper with an iron will, determined not to be baited or offended by Sue. His love for Andie and Davie was more important than his ego. He refused to bite back if Sue said something insulting to him.

Brett set the box down on a picnic table and looked up. “Hey, Matt! Glad you’re here. You can give me a hand.”

Matt blinked, still surprised by Brett’s open friendliness. At least he had two allies—Brett and Davie—which gave him the confidence to jump in and help out.

“Dad! Are those for me?” Davie let go of Rose’s stroller and ran over to his father, eyeing the gifts Matt carried.

“Nope, they’re for the birthday boy,” Matt teased.

“But I’m the birthday boy.” Davie hopped up and down with excitement.

Matt set the gifts on the table, pretending to play dumb. “You are? But I thought it was some other little boy’s birthday today.”

Davie giggled and picked up one of the presents, giving it a good shake. “No, you didn’t. You know it’s my birthday. What did you get me?”

Matt ruffled the boy’s hair. “It’s a surprise, hotshot. Don’t shake them too hard. You might break something.”

Andie stepped down from the ladder and rested a hand on her hip. She looked ravishing yet casual in blue jeans and sneakers, her hair hanging in loose curls around her shoulders.

“Where’s your cane?”

He shrugged, delighted that she’d noticed. “I don’t think I need it today.”

Longing to share his good news with her, he told her about his successful hike earlier.

“You’re sure you’re not pushing too hard? You don’t need to pass the arduous level of the fitness test to serve as the Operations Section Chief on a NIIMS.” NIIMS stood for National Interagency Incident Management System, for wildland firefighting.

“I know, but I do need to pass the moderate physical, which still requires a two-mile hike wearing a twenty-five-pound pack within thirty minutes. So I figured I’d work toward the arduous level.”

She snorted. “I’m not surprised. Mediocre never was your style.” She eyed the presents he’d brought with him. “How many gifts did you get him?” A frown of disapproval curved her pretty mouth, but her eyes glowed with happiness, and Matt knew she wasn’t really upset.

“Just a few.” Matt decided to leave the other gifts in his truck for the time being. Maybe he could sneak them into the pile later on, when Andie was busy with Davie and his guests.

Matt looked up at the sky where a few gray clouds floated above. “Looks like we’re gonna have good weather for the party.”

Andie glanced skyward and wrapped her arms around her. “Thank goodness. I feared I might have to think up some games to play inside my house, which wouldn’t give us much room to move. It’s still a bit chilly outside.”

Matt doffed his jacket and slipped it over her slender shoulders. “No worries. By the time the guests arrive, the sun will warm things up.”

She clutched the folds of his jacket and looked away, her face turning a pretty shade of pink. She blinked, looking shy. Like a young girl flirting with a boy. But she hadn’t rejected his offering, and Matt almost shouted with joy.

“Did Sue go to pick up the cake?” Brett walked over to them.

“Yeah, she should be back any minute.” Andie slid her arms into the sleeves of Matt’s oversize jacket, then struggled with the roll of crepe paper.

Matt loved seeing her wearing his clothes. It reminded him of a happier time when she’d worn his long T-shirts around the house in the morning or slipped his large slippers on her bare feet so she could go outside to move the sprinkler on the grass.

As she endeavored to twist a strand of yellow with red crepe paper to create a streamer around the pavilion, Matt reached for one end. “Let me help.”

He held on tight while she twisted the two colors together. Then he supported the ladder while she climbed up and stapled the ends to the wooden pavilion. When she stepped
down, she lost her footing and he clasped her arm to prevent her from falling. The extra weight wrenched his bad leg, but it didn’t hurt as much as usual. Maybe the exercises were finally strengthening the muscles. Maybe he could beat this physical weakness after all.

“Sorry,” she murmured as she stepped away.

Her hair brushed against his face, soft and fragrant, setting off every nerve in his body. He smiled, trying to put her at ease. “No problem.”

“Hey, Matt. Can you barbecue?” Brett asked.

Matt grinned. “With the best of them.”

“Good. While I fill the balloons with water, you’re in charge of the briquettes. We’re serving hamburgers and hot-dogs to the kids and their parents.” Brett indicated a bag of briquettes and lighter fluid sitting on the ground.

“Got it.” Matt walked over to the grill, grateful to be given an assignment he could negotiate well.

“This will be a good opportunity for you to meet all of Andie’s friends. It should be fun,” Brett said.

“How many guests are we having?”

“About ten kids and their parents.”

Matt didn’t respond. He used to enjoy gatherings like this, but since the wildfire, he’d started shying away from large crowds. He reminded himself that he wasn’t limping as noticeably anymore. He didn’t have to explain the cane to anyone. Because he desperately wanted to be included in every facet of his wife and son’s lives, he’d forced himself to push his own self-doubts aside. His physical therapist had told him a good attitude was everything, and Matt was determined to choose to be happy.

By the time Sue arrived with the birthday cake, Matt had lit the coals and scoured off the grill. As she passed by carrying a large, flat box, he tensed, hoping she’d ignore him. He wanted no harsh words to spoil Davie’s party.

“You want to see?”

Matt almost choked when she stepped near and lifted the lid for him to peek inside. The large sheet cake had been decorated like a baseball field with diamonds, gloves, bats and balls. Six blue candles were centered by home plate. “That’s great. Davie will love it.”

“I want to see.” Davie came running.

“Nope, sorry. Not until it’s time to blow out your candles.” Sue smiled as she snapped the lid back onto the box and carried it to the table.

“Ah!” The boy groaned and followed her.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’ll get to open everything. We just want to have a fun surprise for you.” Andie spread several blue-and-red plastic tablecloths across the tables, weighing them down with packages of buns and bottles of condiments.

Davie smiled and gazed at the growing pile of gifts with anticipation.

“Matt, can you help me lift a cooler from my car?” Sue called to him and he turned in surprise.

Sue was speaking to him. Why? She hated him. Why didn’t she ask Brett for help instead?

“Sure.” He followed her to the parking lot, a little skeptical and anxious. Out of his peripheral vision, Matt saw Andie watching them with a nervous frown.

“I remember you always preferred water to soda pop, so I got plenty of bottles of water, and juice boxes, too. I hope we planned enough food. You never know how many people will show up at these things.” Sue kept up a steady stream of small talk as she popped the trunk of her car open.

Bracing his knees against the bumper, Matt lifted the weight of the cooler up over the edge of the trunk. Then they each took hold of a handle on the sides of the cooler.

As Matt carried his end, he moved slowly, almost disbe
lieving when his leg didn’t hurt one bit. He remembered a time not so long ago when he could have carried the cooler by himself. Now he felt euphoric, thinking he might regain full use of his limbs.

Patience, man. Patience.

“Thanks.” Sue gave him a half smile as they set the cooler on the cement slab beside the tables.

“You’re welcome.” Matt returned to his grill, confused and worried. Was Sue trying to make up for bad-mouthing him to Davie? Or did she have other motives?

Guests started arriving, little wriggling boys and girls accompanied by their parents. Brett introduced Matt as Davie’s father to each and every one. Andie didn’t say a word, and Brett didn’t apologize for being so blunt. But Andie seemed a bit quieter than usual. Matt knew her moods well enough to know she was perturbed. The tight mouth and reluctance in her blue eyes were a dead giveaway. She’d always been a private person. Maybe she didn’t like her friends knowing Davie’s father was here. It roused too many questions about their marriage.

“Okay, kids. Who wants to play some games?” Brett’s buoyant voice filled the air, and the kids cheered as they raced after him to the grass.

Matt followed, listening as Brett explained the rules of the bucket-and-sponge relay race. The dads joined them while the moms congregated with their smaller children over at the pavilion, helping Andie and Sue set out potato chips and fruit salad.

Shrill laughter rang throughout the park as they began the races. In between checking on the briquettes, Matt helped disperse candy and prizes to the kids. As he watched his son wolf down a piece of taffy, he chuckled. “I doubt these kids will eat much lunch after this.”

Brett flashed a wide grin. “It’s okay this time. It’s a special occasion.”

It certainly was. The day of his son’s birth. How he wished he had been with his wife six years earlier.

Before long, the men were threatening their wives with water balloons heavy with water. Children chased each other around with dripping sponges. Squeals filled the air. Matt joined in, playing with the children, protecting the girls from the boys, and generally having a great time. When a fat, green water balloon hit him square in the chest, he gasped and looked up.

Andie stood in front of him, her eyes large and round, a hand clasped across her mouth in shock. She shook her head with disbelief. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. I—I was aiming at Brett.”

Brett stepped back and lifted his hands as if to give himself up. “Don’t blame this on me.”

Matt narrowed his eyes at his wife, a vindictive smile widening his mouth. “Yeah, sure. You were aiming at Brett. Uh-huh, I believe that.”

He reached behind his back and took out the secret weapon he’d stowed beneath his shirt—a squirt gun. Knowing they were going to have water balloons, he’d come prepared.

Andie’s eyes widened when she saw the water gun. As he stalked toward her, she backed away, her hands in the air. “Now, Matt. Be nice.”

“Be nice? You’re telling me to be nice after what you just did?” He wiped a hand across his soaking-wet shirt.

She turned and ran. He took off after her, clasping an arm around her slim waist. He pressed the trigger, spraying a stream of water at her cheek. He could have drenched her, but decided to play nice.

She squealed with laughter and ran to pick up another water balloon. They sparred for several minutes, until he
pulled her close and hugged her tight. Her happy laughter filled his senses to overflowing. It was as if no one existed in the world but him and her.

When he let her go, she returned to the pavilion, but he soon found himself under assault again by her and some of the kids. He fled, but not before he was soaked, his jeans dragging with water. He bided his time. If nothing else, his lame leg had taught him patience.

Andie moved over to the tables where the women sat together in a group, hoping their husbands left them alone. Matt chuckled to himself and waited. Keeping a water balloon close by, he went to check the white briquettes. He tossed hamburger patties and hot dogs on the grill, flipping them like a pro. Brett offered him a bottle of water, and several men stood around drinking sodas and chatting with him.

“So you’re in the Forest Service?” Carl Baxter asked.

“Yeah, in the Supervisor’s office.”

“When did you and Andie get divorced?”

Wow! Talk about blunt. Matt used the pretense of turning hot dogs as an excuse to look away. “We didn’t.”