The Billionaire's Jackpot: Betting on You Series: Book Four (19 page)

Without any hesitation he answered, “I think that’s a good idea.”

I wish I knew what you are thinking right now.
She sat on the couch and waited for him to join her.
I’m really making this seem worse than it is.

When he finally sat he didn’t say a word. He watched her, which heightened her nerves. She loved him, and he loved her. There was nothing to worry about.
Love conquers all.
Or at least that is what she’d read.

Taking a deep breath, she summoned every ounce of strength and wisdom she had acquired over the years in dealing with situations like this. Only then did she realize she didn’t have any.
I’m going to have to wing it.
Probably not the wisest choice, but it was her only one.

“I’m sure you have dated in the past.”
Really? This is where I start?

A puzzled look came over his face. “I’m going to be thirty-five in a few months. You are not so naïve as to believe there haven’t been women before.” She felt him studying her face, her reactions. “What is it you really want to talk about? Do you want to hear about my past lovers? I figured that was a topic most women preferred not to discuss.”

God, no. The last thing I want is details.
“You know I have a past as well. We’ve never spoken about it before, and I wasn’t sure if there were any questions you wanted to ask me.” That was much better. Put the ball in his court. Answering was so much easier than stumbling over where to begin. And from his comment it sounded like he had no interest in hearing gory details either.
That works for me.

Apparently she was right, as he bypassed that option and went exactly where she wanted to avoid.

“What were you and Ross really talking about?”

KJ held his gaze. Lying wasn’t something she did, and either way, he deserved the truth. “We were discussing Brad.”

She watched as Drew’s jaw relaxed. “Yeah, that topic is always a touchy one.” Taking her hand in his he said, “If you wanted to know about Brad you could’ve waited and asked me. I would’ve told you anything you wanted to know. Ross and Brad were probably the closest of all of us. After Brad’s funeral, his mother gave Ross a journal. Ross is the only one who has read it, and that was only recently. With Jon and Lizette naming their baby after him, I’m sure it opened a lot of wounds for him.” His voice soft and caring he continued, “You probably understand that better than any of us.”

If I didn’t feel guilty before, I do now.
“I do.” She covered his hand with hers and squeezed.

“We were all very close throughout college. Between Brad and me, we stirred up more trouble during those six years than either of us wanted to admit. I took most of the credit for being the brains behind most pranks, but the truth is Brad had the best ones. When we were caught, somehow I was usually the one left standing, holding the bag. Just goes to show you who the smart one was.” Drew laughed. “But things changed, and once we graduated we all started on our own path. We still got together once a month, but we were growing apart no matter how hard we tried not to. His accident changed everything for us. We all still worked hard in our careers, planning for the future, but we no longer took our friendship for granted.”

“We seem to learn that the hard way.”

Nodding he continued, “We thought we knew Brad. But at his funeral we found out he was so much more than any of us realized. There is a side of him we still don’t fully understand.”

Ross never thought she might hurt Drew; he was coming to terms with meeting someone who shared a closeness to the part of Brad he really knew nothing about. When a friend hides a big piece of himself, it must hurt. From what she saw of the others, Brad chose to live two totally separate lives: the one he had when he was with them, and the other one that put his own life in jeopardy, giving others a chance to survive. Why he chose the two to never meet wasn’t something she could answer. She didn’t know or understand the Brad they knew any more than they understood the Brad she knew.

“After the burial the four of us got together and promised to continue with Brad’s mission in life.” Pausing for a moment, he seemed to drift to another place, a memory from long ago. When he spoke again his tone had changed; it took on a more serious note. “What I’m going to tell you can’t be discussed outside of the group.”

She couldn’t picture what more there could be. Since she wanted to—no, needed to—know, she agreed. “Of course.”

“We started a private organization called Takes One in his memory. Each month we choose a charity or person in most need and make an anonymous one-time donation.”

KJ was impressed. There was no doubt in her mind these guys would donate money to a cause, but to do it monthly to honor a friend’s memory was very touching. She held back tears of joy, which threatened to break free. “I’m sure he would have been proud of what you guys are accomplishing.”
Actually I know he would’ve.

“Therein lies the problem. We have the organization with everything in place, yet none of us really know what his true vision was. Each month we’re guessing what he would have wanted. This past year we expanded to a global level, but something still feels off, and we can’t put our finger on it. Since he never shared that part of himself with us, we are working blind.”

What was she supposed to say to that? He still didn’t realize she knew Brad at all and here he was opening up, sharing everything, holding nothing back.
God, I feel like such a jerk.
This wasn’t the way the conversation was supposed to go. They were going to admit they both had relationships in the past and move on from there, never talking about them again. But now, that was impossible. Drew was talking about a side of Brad she knew very well. The more he spoke, the more it felt like they were speaking about the same guy instead of two different ones. What was she supposed to do?

“You must understand why Ross was frustrated earlier. The same reason we all are. We’re searching for answers with absolutely no chance of finding them.”

Oh Drew, if only that were the truth.
She had exactly what they were looking for. Emails from Brad detailing his dream. What they were doing was great work, and she didn’t want to take that away from them, but his dream was so much more. If she brought it up, then Drew was going to want to know how she knew. Was she supposed to give him copies of the emails between her and Brad? That was personal. Not only did it hold his thoughts and dreams, but it held hers as well. And over the years her dreams had changed, just as she had. Brad hadn’t been given the opportunity to grow past the man he had been at twenty-eight. Would his dreams have changed as well?
God, this was so complicated. There’s no right answer.

“It’s hard sometimes to know if you are doing the right thing or not. And sometimes you never really get the answer. We just keep trying to do our best and hope it’s enough.” KJ was no longer talking about them. Her thoughts were on the changes in her own life over the past few years. Back then she knew she was going to retire as a Marine. Nothing, or nobody, was going to ever make her leave the corp. Then in a blink of an eye, everything she had told herself began to unravel. She had only recently started to pick up the pieces. She found they no longer fit like they did before. KJ’s path in life had changed for good. There was no going back. Part of her struggled with that knowledge, and yet another part yearned for what the future held. Although she didn’t write in a journal, if she did she would have called this Chapter Two, A New Beginning. And one she hoped would include Drew, even after he knew the truth.

Their relationship was so young, but she hoped their physical age would make up for that. Maturity came with age. Discerning what was relevant and what was not too. She didn’t know how he would react but dearly hoped their new love for each other would survive all this. Her mind was already made up. It had to be said. They deserved to know the Brad she knew. Only one question remained. Should she tell him now and possibly ruin Lizette and Jon’s wedding, or wait until they were back in New York?

Like a sign from above, her phone rang, and it was Lizette. She started to ignore it, but Drew said, “Take it. I have a few calls to make anyway.”

His eyes were so distant and filled with contemplation. She wanted to reach out and stop him from leaving, but she resisted. For now, this was best. In forty-eight hours, she would tell him everything.

On the next ring, she took the call. “Hi Lizette, how is everything?”

“Okay, I guess.”

That didn’t sound good. She was getting married in less than twenty-four hours. She should be on top of the world, beaming, not just doing
okay
. “Tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Are you alone? Is Drew with you?” she asked.

“He just stepped out. I’m alone. Why?” Now she was concerned.

After a long pause, Lizette began to speak. “I needed to get away from the crowd for a few minutes. You know, when you find yourself needing to be alone with only your thoughts?”

Oh God, she’s getting cold feet.
“Every bride feels that way. It is normal.” Or so she’d heard. She’d never been a bride and didn’t have the foggiest idea what Lizette was really feeling right now.

“I don’t have cold feet, KJ. Marrying Jon is the one thing I know is right. Everything else I take one day at a time.”

Relieved, KJ said, “Good, that’s a good thing.”

“When I said I needed some time alone, I didn’t get it. There is this tree in my parents’ backyard and anytime I wanted to be alone or hide from others, I climbed it, not high, just a branch or two. So there I sat listening to the frogs down by the pond when you came outside. I was about to let you know I was there until I saw Ross join you.”

Oh my God. She heard everything.
“It’s not what you think.”

“I know exactly what it is. Don’t worry, I am not judging you. Anyone who looks at you can see how much you love Drew. But I need to ask a favor of you.”

Could this get any worse?
First Ross, now Lizette. The dam was going to overflow and she wouldn’t be able to stop it. But she needed to hear Lizette out. She owed her that much. “What is it?” she asked. Closing her eyes, she prepared for the worse.

“Don’t tell him, not yet. You will need to one day, but right now he’s vulnerable. You are the first woman he has let into his life. With emotions running high between Elaine having her baby and my wedding, I’m worried if you tell him, he will shut down again, and I’m not sure he will find his way back.”

KJ had planned on waiting until after the wedding, but Lizette believed she should wait even longer? “What if Ross says something, or if someone else finds out and tells him? How is that going to help our relationship?” Her fears were legitimate. She had a lot to lose.
The only man I have ever loved.

“I don’t think Ross will say anything either,” Lizette said, yet her voice didn’t sound convincing.

No. KJ couldn’t agree to that. She needed to do this on her terms. “This is something I cannot carry with me. I’ll wait until after we go home, but that’s all. I hope you understand.”

“KJ, I wish the best for both of you. If you need me, I’m here for you, no matter what happens. Outside of Drew, I still consider you a friend.”

“Thank you, Lizette. That means a lot to me.” It was also going to make what she needed to do a bit easier.

A few months ago she’d felt so alone, by her choice. Never had she thought attending one event could bring so many wonderful people into her life. Now she could only hope that a friendship from years ago, didn’t cause her to lose it all again.
I have already lost so much in life. I’m not sure I could come back again either if I lose Drew, not since I know he loves me.

Drew hated leaving
Katherine alone in their room, but after their conversation about Brad he needed to clear his thoughts. She was expecting a romantic evening, and he might as well have poured a bucket of ice water on them. Talking about a deceased friend was as far away from sexy as you can get.

The conversation hadn’t been a total waste of time. It gave him a chance to tell her even more about Takes One. It was going to have to be discussed eventually so there was no better time than tonight. But the more he talked about it the more he had the overwhelming feeling they were not on track with Brad’s wishes.
What the hell do you want us to do, Brad?

Ross wasn’t the only one who couldn’t stop thinking about it. There were decisions to make about the future of Takes One. He knew they were on the brink of finding out what Brad truly wanted. His instincts were usually right on. But, there was something he was missing. Right after the wedding he was going to figure it out, no matter what it took. Even if it meant doing something he had been avoiding for years—reading Brad’s journal. Drew wasn’t about to give up when he knew the answer was right around the corner.

This isn’t fair to Katherine.
He brought her here for a fun getaway, and so far she had been dragged around for wedding activities, delivered a baby, and now had to deal with his frustrations regarding Takes One. He could only hope it wasn’t too much for her, as he knew she was dealing with so much already.
Better figure this out quickly.

He had been gone longer than expected. When he finally arrived back at the suite he found Katherine fast asleep on the bed. He was so tempted to wake her. Not only did he miss her in his arms, he needed a distraction.
You’re far more than that to me.
Grabbing a clean pair of boxers from the drawer he headed for a desperately needed cool shower.

‡