That Dirty Dog and Other Naughty Stories for Good Boys and Girls (5 page)

Sylvia began to cry.

Which was all I needed to yell out, ‘It's not fair! I saw Jacinta cheat. I know she did!'

‘You're a liar, Sandra Harris!' screamed Jacinta. ‘You're just jealous because my parents are together and yours have split up.'

‘No, they haven't!' I yelled.

‘You're such a liar,' said Jacinta, with the most evil of smiles. ‘When's the last time you saw your dad?'

Now, that was just about the most awful, cruel thing anyone could say to me. Because Dad had left. A few weeks ago. He and Mum had been fighting terribly, so Dad said it was for the best that he stayed out of the way for a while. Until things settled down.

Dad said it would all be OK, eventually. But I wasn't so sure and it made me sick. I missed him so much.

Unfortunately, Jacinta lived only two doors down from us and her mother was one of those people who knew everybody else's business. ‘She's the nastiest gossip I've ever met,' my mum was always saying.

Of course, the other kids soon found out that Dad had left, which made Jacinta right and me a liar.

And after her success of fixing up both Sylvia and me in the same day, Jacinta was on a roll. No-one suspected her of lying, and the way she'd been able to make Sylvia cry in front of the class and hurt me so terribly made everyone a little bit scared of her.

So people started to suck up. Just in case she decided to go for them next. It almost made me puke watching them. Wimpy, greasy lot, they were.

‘Can I sit next to you, Jacinta?'

‘Want to come to my place tonight?'

‘Want some of my lollies? I'm full.'

Jacinta just loved it. So she thought a couple more lies might be the go, just to make sure everyone kept it up.

She accused poor Tamsin Smith of pinching money from her bag, and said to Mr Lyons she wouldn't be surprised if the money was hidden somewhere in Tamsin's desk right now. And it was! No prizes for guessing who put it there.

And then she started a rumour that Mordy Isaacs was still wetting his bed at the age of eleven. How do you prove something like that isn't true? Drag people around to your house to feel the sheets?

Sometimes, with rumours, you just have to let them run wild for a while, until a new rumour comes along to take its place. People are always looking out for something fresh. Besides, jumping up and down too much can often make it worse.

But by now I was sick of her lies. And so was everyone else.

I was counting on Jacinta to keep thinking that she was kicking butt. In all directions. But it was time to give her a taste of her own medicine.

Soon another maths test came along and of course Jacinta plonked herself at the desk next to Sylvia, just a little too late to catch me whispering in Sylvia's ear. Naturally, Jacinta thought she could pull the old copying trick again. But this time, Sylvia got ten out of ten – and Jacinta got zero! Nothing, nought, nix. How could this be?

‘Apart from anything else, Jacinta,' said Mr Lyons, ‘it now proves that you were lying last time. I will speak to you, young lady, after school. And then, of course, to your parents.'

Sylvia had fixed her up so easily, just as I had said. It had taken no time for her to write out the correct answers, with her arm blocking Jacinta's view, and then to write out another page with every answer wrong.
Der, Jacinta.

Later at lunch, everyone was still talking about it – and Jacinta was skulking around the corner, listening to every word.

Kathy Warren said very loudly, ‘Although Jacinta's turned out to be a dirty rotten liar, I don't think that should stop us having the surprise birthday party for her.'

I smiled and said even louder, ‘Of course. I mean, you've been planning the party for weeks.'

And so they had. Nineteen girls were going to meet at Kathy's place for the surprise party of the century. And they were betting that Jacinta knew all about the party by now. Of course with surprise parties, sometimes knowing is half the fun.

So, as planned, Kathy said to Jacinta that if she was doing nothing after school on Friday, she should come to her place to watch a DVD.

Jacinta happily said that she'd love to. I could tell from the triumphant look on her face that she thought she was the queen of the school, once and for all.

Well, the party did turn out to be a surprise.
A huge surprise
– because no-one turned up!

When Jacinta knocked on Kathy's door, her mother answered and said she was terribly sorry but Kathy had totally forgotten that she had another party that night.

‘At Sandra Harris's place,' said Kathy's mother. ‘It's a non-liars party, whatever that means.'

www.ChristopherMilne.com.au

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

When successful actor and screenwriter
Christopher Milne
became a father, he found himself reading books at bedtime to his two boys, Peter and Robert. He soon ran out of stories to read, so he started making up his own.

He quickly discovered that if he told Pete and Rob about good boys and girls doing very good things all the time, they were bored stupid.

But if he told them about naughty kids doing
pooey, rotten, disgusting
things, his sons would scream for more. ‘We want more of those naughty stories!'

‘OK,' Chris would reply. ‘But only if you've been good.' And so the
Naughty Stories for Good Boys and Girls
were born...

For more info on Christopher Milne and his books, go to
www.ChristopherMilne.com.au