Tasting Never (4 page)

“
Goddamn
bitch,” Guy Two says as he struggles to his feet, and I look up
just in time to see that his gun is pointed straight at my face.
Another shot goes off behind me, whizzes past Guy Two and breaks down
a second window. When I glance over my shoulder, I see Gun Girl
slumped on the floor near Ty's feet. He's got her gun in his hand
and has it pointed at Guy Two. Guy One is nowhere to be seen, and I
can only guess that he's already fled. I suppose that whole
Honor
among thieves
thing doesn't always hold true.

Ty
is breathing pretty hard, and there's blood on his chest, whether
from Gun Girl or someone else, I don't know, but it scares me.
However much I might dislike the guy for what he said to me, he
didn't flee the building like I'd thought. Instead, he chose to stay
and fight. Anyone that's willing to do something like that is
someone that the world can't afford to lose.

I
panic when I see Guy Two turn towards him and kick out hard, hitting
the man in the shin. He stumbles and fires off another shot. I
don't have time to see where it goes because the gun is now swinging
towards me. People are screaming and there's movement all around me.
I think I see a flash of color as Lacey flees the building, but I'm
not sure. All I know in that moment is that I have to survive. I
don't know why, and I don't have time to analyze it, all I can do is
stand and throw my body at Guy Two. I hit him in the stomach, but he
doesn't go down, not this time. We struggle for control of the gun,
and I pull out every trick I've ever learned to deal with rowdy
college guys. I knee him in the balls and pull at his hair with the
hand that isn't wrapped around his wrist, fighting to keep the gun
pointed at the ceiling and away from Ty, his friends, and me.

It
seems this goes on forever, but I'm guessing it's merely seconds.
Just as I think I'm about to lose control, Ty appears from out of
nowhere and smashes the butt of Gun Girl's weapon into Guy Two's
skull. He falters for just a second, long enough for me to knock his
gun to the floor where it skids across the tiles and comes to a stop
near a display of sunflower seeds. Guy Two uses the last of his
strength to push me back; I stumble into the broken glass and feel my
feet slide out from beneath me, sending me to my back in the shards
with a hiss of pain.

Ty
spins Guy Two around and pulls back his fist, hitting him in the face
with knuckles loaded with rings.
I hope it hurts like hell,
I
think as I watch Guy Two stumble. Ty doesn't stop. He grabs Guy Two
by the shirt and hits him again. And again. And again. Finally,
Guy Two drops to the floor like a sack of garbage, and Ty shakes out
his hand like it hurts. I stare at the wet spot on his chest, afraid
that he's been shot and struggle to sit up. Broken glass cuts into
my hands and feet, and I gasp, drawing his attention to me. Other
than Gun Girl and Guy Two (who are both passed out), we're the only
ones left in the building.

“
Are
you alright?” he asks as he crunches over the glass towards me.
I hold out my hand, hoping that he'll help me up, but instead, he
reaches under my knees and puts an arm around my waist. With a
grunt, Ty lifts me from the floor and pulls me against his chest.
The beat of my heart sounds in my ears as I stare at the bit of blood
on his face and wonder what the hell he's doing.

“
Thanks,”
I say because I don't know what else there is to say. Ty smiles and
looks around like he isn't sure where to put me. The counter isn't
an option, not with the clerk's corpse lying so close to it, and I
can tell he isn't going to just stand me up somewhere, not with glass
embedded in my feet.
You're not worth it.
I swallow hard as
I remember his words. If he really believed that though, why is he
bothering to help me? Why not just stand me up and leave it at that?

Ty
turns towards the entrance and wades through the glass and out the
front doors. Now there really are sirens in the distance and
already, I can see the flash of blue and red lights. While he's
glancing in that direction, I take a moment to pick at his shirt and
check for injuries. When I don't find any, I give a sigh of relief.
Whoever this man is, I owe him one, and I'd rather not see him hurt.
Just when I think his strength is going to give out, he sets me down
on the hood of a car and steps back, putting his hands on his lips.

“
Thanks,”
I say again and he smiles, flashing me dimples.

“
No,”
he says. “Thank you. If you hadn't attacked that guy, I
wouldn't have been able to get the girl.” I shrug because I
don't know what else to do with the praise.

“
If
you hadn't stuck around, I'd have been dead. You could've left
through the back door, you know.”

“
Never
even crossed my mind,” he says, and I look at him, trying to
decide if he's just full of himself or if he's being honest. I
decide that it doesn't matter; either way, he stayed to help and
that's what counts. Ty nibbles his lip ring and runs a hand through
his hair while I struggle to find something to say back to him. I
can't come up with anything and start to pull bits of glass from my
skin. When Ty reaches out and takes my hand, I nearly fall off the
hood. “Need some help?” he asks, and I stare at him like
he's crazy. When his fingers reach down and start to pull shards
out, his touch is gentle enough that I don't argue.

What
is going on?
I wonder, but I don't have an answer for that. No
answer at all.

4

I
let the EMTs take a look at my cuts, but refuse a trip to the
hospital. Instead, I go down to the station, sitting quietly in the
back of a cop car with Ty McCabe. They want us to make a statement
which is fine with me. I want the fuckers to fry, but I know I'm
hoping for too much. More than likely, they'll get twenty years
tops, ten with good behavior. I try to make myself feel better by
imagining how much it would hurt to get punched by a guy with big
biceps and knuckles glittering with a dozen rings.

When
we get to the station, I see that Ty's friends are already there,
sitting beside Lacey in the waiting area. She and I hug briefly and
share a look that tells me how grateful she really is. She doesn't
thank me which is fine because I didn't do it for her. I did it for
me. I get so tired of seeing injustice and pain where there doesn't
have to be any. It just bothers me.

I
give my statement while the cops try to placate me, offering a trip
to the hospital or a ride home, and practically force me to eat some
stale cookies from their break room. They aren't suspicious about
anything which is nice because I don't feel like explaining my anger
to anyone, especially not about Guy Two. It's just there, boiling
hot and angry. Fortunately, this time, the cops do their job of
playing the good guys and release us after a few hours.

After
we finish performing our civic duties, Lacey catches a ride home with
her girlfriend who has the audacity to show up with Rick in the front
seat of her car. Lacey's face shows this sort of desperate sorrow
that I don't understand at all because I've never been in love with
anyone before. She pushes it away as quick as it came and throws
herself into the girl's arms with a sob. I don't judge her for any
of it. I'm in no place to judge anyone.

I
don't much feel like going home, so I sit down on the cement steps
and put my head in my hands. I'm tired and sore and pissed off, but
I'm grateful to be alive, and I don't know why. I had thought I
didn't care. Guess that's easy to say when your life isn't hanging
tenuously in the air, ready to snap as easily as a thread. Now that
I've actually been threatened with losing it, I kind of want to keep
it. I wish it was in better shape.

“
Hi,”
someone says, and I look up to see Ty standing next to me with his
hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. He's got dimples again
and despite the simple fact that I hate him, my stomach flutters in
response. “My name is Ty McCabe.” He holds out his
hand, and I see butterflies all over the back of it, tattooed in a
swarm of color from his fingertips up his arm where they disappear
under the sleeve of his black T-shirt. “It's nice to meet
you,” he says, and I can see that he wants to start over with
me. I figure we got off to a rocky start, so I give him another
chance.
You're not worth it.
I swallow hard and try to
remember that I was the one that called him a whore. All he really
did was ask me to go dancing.

“
Nice
to meet you,” I say, reaching up and taking his hand in mine.
“My name is Never Ross. Printed just like it sounds right
across the top of my birth certificate.” The silver bangles on
my arm clink against the gold ones on his.

“
I
like it,” Ty says, retracting his hand and fetching a cigarette
from the front pocket of his jeans. He hands it to me, and I take
it, pleased to see that it's a Marlboro Red, the same kind that I
smoke. “Sounds exotic,” he tells me as he puts the
cigarette between his pretty lips and lights it with a black lighter
that he retrieves from a different pocket. His brown eyes are
watching me with unmasked curiosity. “You were pretty fucking
awesome back there,” he tells me as he hands over the lighter.
I light my cigarette and unconsciously pocket it. Ty notices but
doesn't say anything.

“
Right
back at you,” I say as I notice a sign prohibiting smoking
within twenty feet of the entrance. I nod my chin at it and Ty and I
move down the steps together. We pause on the sidewalk and stand in
silence for several moments, watching one another smoke. The two
cherries are the only source of light in this quiet spot, just two,
little orange glows in the dark of night. No cars drive by and the
only sounds we hear are from inside the police station. But at least
I'm not alone. If I have to go home and be alone again, I might just
break. “I don't much feel like being by myself,” I admit
to Ty as I study the hard lines of his face. He's beautiful to look
at, but he's also broken, bruised, and betrayed. No wonder I was so
attracted to him. He's exactly the kind of guy I always go for. I
wonder what he thinks of me. Obviously he was attracted to me, too,
or he wouldn't have come across the bar to talk to me. I think about
having sex with him and dismiss the idea. If he even wants to, then
I'll feel twice as alone when he's gone. I admit this, too, not
caring what he thinks of me for saying it. I kind of just want to be
honest right now. My past has enough lies in it to drown me three
times over. “And I don't want to have sex, I just want to be
with someone.”

“
Same
here,” Ty says as he crushes his cigarette into the ash try on
top of a nearby garbage can. “Want to go to the beach?”
I nod and copy his motion, putting out my cigarette before following
him down the sidewalk. “I don't have a car, so we'll have to
walk. Unless you have one?” he asks. I shake my head and
pause to remove my heels. My feet hurt either way, so I might as
well not even bother to wear them. The EMTs put bandages on me
anyway, so I figure I won't be completely unprotected against the
grimy streets.

“
Nope,”
I say as I examine my mangled shoes. The heel on one is broken and
the other has a bit of blood on it. I feel sick. “I'm in the
mood for walking anyway,” I say as I turn back and jog over to
the garbage can. I shove the shoes inside, next to an empty bottle
of liquor and a half eaten sandwich. Ty doesn't say anything, but he
does smile.

“
So,”
he continues as I catch back up to him and fall into an easy stride.
Neither of us seems to be in any hurry to get where we're going.
It's all about the journey. “Tell me about yourself. Where do
you come from? What do you do? What is it that made you want to
fight back like that?” The pavement is cold against my bare
toes, but in a good way, a way that makes me feel more awake. I like
it. I stare down at them for a moment before answering. The red
nail polish still looks good and isn't too chipped, despite my
scuffle at the convenience store.

“
What
made
you
want to fight back?” I counter, unsure of how
to answer his questions. Despite what he may think, they're all
difficult ones for me, and I don't have any real answers to them. I
look up at Ty's face, at the piercings in his nose and lip and
eyebrows. The streetlights above them catch on the metal and make
them shimmer like diamonds. He looks down at me, and I can see that
he doesn't know either.

“
I'm
sorry for what I said to you,” he tells me, and I feel tears
sting my eyes. I don't know why, but suddenly, they're just there.
I look away and pretend that the cold is getting to me by tucking my
hands under my armpits. “I'm the last person that should be
judging anyone else.”

“
Second
to last,” I say, and dash my tears away before throwing a smile
back at him. “And I'm sorry for calling you a whore.”
He grimaces and the smile falls from his face for a moment. Ty bites
his lip and spins the ring back and forth with his tongue.