Shadow of Regret (Shadow #3) (6 page)

Rose turned to look at Quinn one more time, but he'd slept peacefully through it all.  She turned back to her mother, and followed her out of the room, and into the sitting room.

“Wait here,” her mother ordered.

Rose couldn’t remember ever seeing her mother this angry. She didn't know why; she'd done nothing wrong.

A few minutes later Lavinia appeared with Jonas and Ivy. “Everyone sit down,” she said.

“I don’t want Rose caring for Quinn Iverson another minute. I found her lying in bed with him. He had his arm around her. Do you realize what trouble a scene like that could cause?”

Jonas and Ivy sat there with stunned expressions, looking back and forth between Lavinia and Rose.

“I’m sure Jonas can afford to hire a nurse for Quinn, am I right, Jonas?”

Jonas’s mouth opened and closed as if he were trying to think of what to say.  “Yes, sure, but…” he said at last.

“But what?” Lavinia asked.

Ivy tried to explain. “Rose is in love with him, and we thought if she nursed him, maybe she could reach him. We’ve all been unsuccessful getting through to him, but Rose? She actually has a chance at reaching him, I know she does.”

“At the price of her reputation? Ivy, what were you thinking?” Lavinia asked.

Ivy shrugged.

“Rose is seventeen years-old! And you leave her to tend a man who is twenty-five and presently a drunk and womanizer?” Lavinia shook her head.

“I wish I'd seen Rose’s note sooner. She left it on the table, but the window was open, and must've blown it onto the floor, and I didn’t spot it until this morning. I thought for sure you were in labor, and I rushed over to find…this?” She pointed her hand at Rose.

“On top of everything else, I have to find a place to live. The new minister is planning on moving in as soon as possible, and we'll no longer have a home.” Lavinia paced the room.

“Caleb still has the house on Eden Road. I’m sure he’d let you and the girls live there,” Jonas said.

“That would be perfect. I’ll stop by and see him today. When Ivy goes into labor, send someone for me, and I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Ivy said.

“Rose,” Lavinia said, “you’re coming home to help me pack.”

Rose shook her head. “I need to make sure Quinn is all right. I can’t just leave him,” she said.

Until you're eighteen, you'll do as you’re told, young lady,” Lavinia said.

A feeling of defeat enveloped Rose. She felt like crying, or screaming, or just pounding on something. She hated being forced into something against her will. She didn’t know how far she could push her mother, since she’d never seen her quite this mad or determined before.

“Please, Mama? If I promise not to lie on his bed—and even then, I only did it because I was exhausted and there was no other place to rest.”

“If anyone other than family had seen you…” Lavinia said.

“I wish they had,” Rose cried, and she ran from the room.

Rose didn't speak to Lavinia, not even once. Rose covertly wiped away tears as they rode home. An empty, hollow feeling overcame her, and had she not been brought up properly, she’d have refused to leave Quinn's side, but she had too much respect for her mother to do that, especially with her father gone not even a month yet. She was filled with what could only be described as hopelessness.

.

Upon arriving home, she was sent to her room to pack her things. “Where’s Violet?” Rose asked before heading for her room.

“She’s gone to Salina for a few days. She has an interview for a teaching job.”

“She’s taking the job instead of marrying Miles?” Rose asked.

“She hasn’t decided what she’ll do yet.” Lavinia walked over to Rose, and hugged her.

“I hope you understand why I took you away from Quinn. I’m left alone to make sure you girls all end up happy. It’s a big responsibility, and I’m feeling the burden of it already. You know I love you, Rose.” Lavinia kissed the top of her head.

“And I love Quinn, Mama.”

“At seventeen, how do you know that?” Lavinia asked.

“You married father at eighteen, so you must have fallen in love with him at my age.”

“Well, yes, but your father was only two years older than me, and he wasn’t a womanizer and a drinker. There’s the difference, Rose.”

“I know if you gave me a chance I could reach Quinn. He never did any of those things before Martha’s death. He's mad at God, is all. I know I can reach him, but you won’t let me!”

Lavinia smoothed Rose’s hair. “You’ll be eighteen in a few months, and then you can do whatever you want, even if I don’t agree.”

“How could you not agree with saving someone’s soul? I know father would have given me the chance. He would have.”

Lavinia sighed. “And I wish, more than anything, that he were here to give you the chance, but I can’t do that, not in good conscience.”

Rose clenched her fists, but she remained silent.

“I’m going now to speak with Caleb about the house on Eden Road. There are boxes are on the porch, should you need more. I hope to be out of this house in a few days, as the new minister is anxious to move in.”

“Who’s the new minister?” Rose asked.

“His name is John Martin. He has five children—I don’t know where he’ll put them all. He has one son who’s nineteen, and perfect for you Rose. His name is James.”

“Wonderful. You don’t just fall in love with someone because your mother thinks it would be perfect,” Rose said.

“Give it some thought. I’ll be back soon.” Lavinia left the house. Rose watched as she jumped into her buggy, and drove it down the lane to the main road. When she was out of sight, Rose ran to the barn, saddled her horse, and rode like the wind to Jonas and Ivy’s house.

She knew that if Jonas or Ivy saw her, they’d respect her mother’s wishes, and not let her see Quinn. She’d have to sneak in. She tied her horse behind the barn and walked around to the back door, which was closest to Quinn’s room. It led directly into the laundry room, from the back porch, and then to Quinn’s room, and on the other side of the hall from Quinn’s room was the sitting room. The parlor was nearer the front door.

She made it as far as the laundry room when she heard voices coming from Quinn’s room. She recognized Jonas and Ivy’s voices, and she listened.

“I suppose we could get Ingrid Smith to nurse Quinn,” Jonas said. “She isn’t needed to mind Zoe as long as she’s with my father.”

“Good idea,” Ivy said. “I'm really disappointed in my mother’s decision, but I suppose, because of Rose’s age, she’s right. She just seems so much more mature than seventeen.”

“All right, then. I’ll ride out now and see if she can stay here for a few days,” Jonas said. “I'll stop in and see Zoe, too. In the meantime, I want you to go upstairs, recline in your chaise lounge, and read, or nap.”

Rose heard what she thought might be a kiss, and then she saw them both walk down the hall, toward the front of the house.

On tiptoe, Rose crept into Quinn’s room. He was still asleep. She was disappointed he wasn't awake; she needed to speak with him.

He looked handsome, even lying there all bandaged up and with several days’ growth of whiskers shading his face. Unable to resist, she leaned down and kissed his lips. She pulled away with a sigh, but he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her closer “I didn’t quite catch that kiss, could you repeat it?” he whispered.

“Of course,” she smiled. She leaned over and kissed him again, but this time he returned it and Rose felt her knees buckling beneath her. “Oh dear,” she said, when he finally released her lips.

“I see you’re feeling much better,” she said.

“Much better, thanks to your expert nursing.”

“My mother came and ordered me to leave. I wanted to stay and nurse you longer. I just came back to kiss you goodbye.”

He pulled her by the arm again. “One more, then.”

“I think you should curtail your kissing until you're fully recovered,” she said. “I think they're becoming a bit too heated for your delicate condition.” And for my virginity, Rose added to herself.

Quinn lay there studying her for the longest time. “Why did your mother insist that you leave?”

“Propriety,” Rose said. “She saw me lying beside you this morning—and you had your arm around me.”

Quinn smiled. “I did, didn’t I? It wasn’t something I planned, it just happened. You felt so dang good lying there by my side.”

“Wait,” he said. “If your mother made you leave, why are you here?”

“I snuck back, so I could explain why I’d left. I couldn’t just leave, and have you think I’d abandoned you.”

Quinn took her hand and rubbed it. “She’s right. It’s for the best, my sweet Rose. You are too good for me,” he said, and kissed the palm of her hand, making her knees quiver. “Forget me and find yourself someone—”

“No!” Rose exclaimed. “I won’t. I’ll be eighteen in a few months, and my mother said that I could do whatever I wanted to then. And,” she looked down at the floor in embarrassment, “and I want
you
, Quinn.”

“No, Rose, you don’t. You just want something you think you can’t have. I’m fond of you too, Rose, too fond.  I will never marry again. Ever. So find yourself someone, and be happy.”

“I have to go before Jonas comes back with Ingrid. I won’t ever give up on you, Quinn.” She kissed his cheek and fled the room.

Quinn watched as Rose slipped out of his room, probably for good. He sighed. Life seemed so unfair. He had to keep the feelings he had for Rose to himself. She was so dang lovely, and too sweet and innocent for him. He knew, after their meeting in the cemetery, that he loved her. That was why he was anxious to see “Daisy” again, so he could use her to forget about Rose. He needed to bury himself in the company of saloon women or women of ill repute, just to forget the one woman he could never have. He had to associate with women who didn’t expect marriage and babies, because he’d not travel down that road ever again.

He had to heal quickly, so he could find out what was left of his livery. He’d been duped by “Daisy.” What had her husband, or whatever he was, call her? He couldn’t remember, but he had to find them again. He had some money in the bank, but it wasn't enough to restock his livery with horses and buggies—if they'd wiped him clean of everything.

Later that afternoon, as Rose had warned, Jonas brought Ingrid Smith in to nurse him. That evening, Jonas came in and sat down by the bed.

“How are you feeling, Quinn?” Jonas asked.

“Better.”

“Now that you're awake and able to communicate, I need to tell you that someone has cleaned out your livery.”

“Yes, I figured as much. A saloon woman I was seeing and her husband robbed me.”

“Do you know their names?”

“No. I knew her as Daisy, but her husband called her something else. I've been trying to recall her real name.”

“What will you do?” Jonas asked.

“I’ll start all over, I guess,” Quinn said. “Have my parents been told?”

“No. Your parents are in Texas visiting Eliza.”

“Eliza? Wait! That’s Daisy’s real name--Liza!” Quinn pounded the mattress. “Liza! What a fool I was.”

“How so?” Jonas asked.

“She played a game with me. She said that if I guessed her name, she’d kiss me. When I guessed the name of a flower, she reacted slightly. So I kept guessing flower names, and when I said, Daisy, she let me know I’d won. That’s how our relationship began.”

“I think you should report it to the constable. I’ll see if he can make a visit. Tell him everything.” Jonas patted his friend’s shoulder. “If I can help in any way, just ask.”

“And if I need a loan?” Quinn asked.

“I’d give it in a heartbeat, but to the Quinn Iverson I used to know,” Jonas said, “not to the one he's become.” He walked to the door, and then turned back to Quinn. “If you’d give me a chance to talk to you about God and death, I would. I’d love to, but I know you’d fight it, so I’ll wait until you ask.”

“I thought you’d take advantage of the fact that I'm bedridden and couldn't walk away if you started preaching to me,” Quinn said.

“You’d just close your ears and mind to it. I know I can make you understand how wrong you are, if you just gave me a chance. But, you have to ask. Good night, Quinn.”