Secrets Of The Heart (Book 1, The Heart Series) (28 page)

He chuckled as he opened the door, but stopped once he spotted the back of a tall, well-dressed man on his front door stoop. The blond man turned quickly. Sunglasses shaded his eyes and cast shadows half way down his cheeks.

“May I help you?” Nick’s curiosity peaked; he realized this was no ordinary salesman by the cut of his expensive business suit and expertly styled hair.

The man whipped off his protective eye wear, causing Nick’s heart to stop beating.

An invisible cannon ball ripped through his chest, leaving a great big gaping hole in its wake.

He watched the man’s lips move, but the roar resounding in Nick’s ears blotted out the words the man uttered.

Nick’s world tilted, careening off its axis as he gazed into cobalt blue eyes; he’d only seen that particular shade once before.

As Bree lugged the bulky grocery bags into the house, she rehearsed her speech over and over in her head. She stopped short of predicting Nick’s reaction to her secret, afraid of the worst, yet hoping for the best or even somewhere in between.

She deposited the paper sacks on the kitchen counter. The eerie stillness closed in on her, making her wonder who owned the new black Cadillac parked in the driveway and where were her husband and his guest. “Nick?”

A faint, muffled sound came from the sun room and she walked around the breakfast bar counter to investigate. Like a statue Nick faced her. His granite-like features made her frown in consternation. “Is everything all right?”

“Hello, Bree. It’s been a long time.” The familiar voice from yesteryear sent shockwaves crashing down on her.

Jerking her head to the right, she spotted
him.
She felt the color drain from her face. Bitterness filled her.

Noooo! Not here, not now.

Taking a few, unsteady steps forward, she grabbed the archway frame, holding on for dear life. Pressing her other hand to her chest, she felt the cool metal of her locket, and then clutched it in the cradle of her palm as if it were a lifeline, as if holding onto it kept the link between her and the man that gave it to her alive.

She twisted back to Nick, searching his stony expression. He didn’t flinch or cringe, giving nothing away. But when she gazed into his eyes, she witnessed the raw pain and betrayal in their depths. An invisible hand wrung her heart.

The silence unnerved her. Nick most certainly waited for her to say something, to lie maybe. But she was through with lying; she sensed it had just cost her the best thing that ever happened to her.

She swallowed hard, gathering her courage to reveal her deeply buried secret. “I see you’ve met Sydney’s father,” she managed to whisper past parched lips.

A flicker of admiration slashed across Nick’s eyes, and then died just as quickly. She’d passed this test, but failed the course.

“Sydney? What kind of name is that?” Gerald Pommelroy demanded.

Looking at him now, she wondered how she’d ever fallen for him. What once seemed to her as a handsome face now revealed itself to be boyish. His permanent pout added to the immature, soft look about him.

To the outside world his wealth and position in the community gave him an air of power, but Bree knew beneath the polished surface lay weakness, not strength.

The fear and panic she’d lived with for years no longer held her in their grip. She felt nothing but pity for this person; he missed out on raising his precious little girl.

Collecting her dignity around her, she said, “It’s the name I chose for
my
child.”

He snorted at that.

“What do you want?” She winced at the quiver that shot through her voice as new fears swirled through her mind.

A smirk twisted his features. “Well, I didn’t come here for you and we both know that.”

“You can’t have her.” She barely kept her voice controlled and even.

Nick cut in, “I’m sure the courts would agree since you abandoned her.”

Tears pricked the backs of Bree’s eyes at Nick’s staunch defense. At least he’d support her in the role of Sydney’s mother. Bree refused to look in his direction or she was certain she’d lose it right then and there.

A frown furrowed Gerald’s brow. “You said
her.
So it
was
a girl.” He shrugged, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “I predicted it, but couldn’t be sure until I found you.”

Puzzled, she asked, “What’s this all about? You’ve never tried to find me before, so why now?”

He dragged a hand through his neatly styled hair, mussing it up. “My son…” His voice broke, and then he coughed. “He’s only a few months old. He’s sick and frail.”

Concern shafted through Bree for the child. “Will he be all right?”

He grimaced. “By the doctor’s standards he’ll survive after several surgeries, but he’ll never be like a normal little boy.”

Suddenly, the reason why he was here struck her with horrifying clarity. “By
your
standards, don’t you mean? My God, what were you going to do, try to replace your son with my child?”

His mouth thinned into a straight line that nearly disappeared. “I need a strong, healthy first born son to take over the family’s export business in the future. It’s a condition of my grandfather’s will and my ongoing inheritance. The first born son of each generation…”

Outrage curled into a ball low in her belly. “And you once called me pathetic. Go! And don’t come back!”

“Don’t worry you’ve got nothing I want.”

As he made to leave, a brilliant plan formed in the back of her mind. She rushed to him, grabbing his slender arm in a vise-like grip. A waft of his cloying, minty aftershave assaulted her, making her queasy. “Wait! I want you to release any legal claim you have on my daughter.”

“Or what?”

She detected the tickle of anxiety in his question, placing her on firm ground. Bree struck where she knew it hurt him the most. “Or I’ll fight for her share of your thriving family business.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” His voice rose in pitch and volume. “You don’t have it in you.”

“I’d do anything for my daughter’s peace of mind and well-being. I have for years now.”

“My family doesn’t even know about her. It would scandalize them!”

And it would devastate Sydney to be shunned by relatives, but Bree wouldn’t tell him that, wouldn’t let him know she’d never put her daughter through that painful debacle. “Sign off on any rights to her and I won’t touch one red cent of yours.”

He yanked his arm away, and then adjusted his suit jacket. “All right. I don’t want her anyway.”

“You made that perfectly clear more than five years ago.”

As he stalked out, he threw over his shoulder, “I’ll have my personal lawyer contact you. She’s the only one who knows the truth.”

The banging of the screen door sounded like gunfire, loud and deadly. But Bree breathed a sigh of relief at his departing back. She’d never have to fear anything from Gerald again. The fear she experienced now involved the man waiting expectantly behind her.

Why didn’t I tell Nick sooner? A few hours earlier would have made all the difference
.

Slowly, she turned to face Nick. What she observed sent a chill down her spine. Waves of pain rolled off of him, reaching out to consume her. A hollow ache thumped behind her rib cage.

“Why, Bree? Why didn’t you tell me?” Raw emotion colored his question, stabbing at her like a dagger.

Tentatively, she stepped into the sun room, and then sought the back of Nana’s favorite chair, clutching it for support. “I’m so sorry, Nick.”

“Sorry? Is that all you’ve got to say for yourself?”

A hot tear trickled out of the corner of her eye and he looked away quickly. She swiped at it. “I don’t know what else to say.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, and then pinned her with those dark probing, all-seeing eyes. “It’s a fine time to suddenly clam up. Just tell me, did Vinnie know about this or did you trick him into thinking Sydney was his?”

Digging her fingers into the cool fabric and spongy cushion, she returned his unwavering stare. “He knew.”

Deep grooves surrounded his mouth. He seemed to have aged years in only a few minutes. “Are you saying he lied to me?”

She detected a faint ring of skepticism. “Yes. It was his idea to tell no one that he wasn’t Sydney’s real father. I went along with it, knowing it would be the best for her.”

Disbelief transformed his features and he turned chalky. “He lied.”

“Nick, he and I were never…close like that. Never intimate.”

He sank down onto the ottoman, looking dazed and confused. “Never?”

On numb legs, she made her way around the chair and slipped past him to drop onto the seat. His profile confronted her and she longed to reach out a hand to soothe away his suffering. “We became friends while in a study group. When I didn’t show up for a couple of classes we had together he came around to my tiny apartment and refused to leave until I opened the door for him. That’s when he saw the bruises—”

Nick jerked his head around to face her. Realization entered his eyes. “Pommelroy hit you!” He balled his hands into fists on his thighs. The string of curses he issued made her blush. “He’s damn lucky I didn’t know that a few minutes ago or he’d have never left on his own power.”

She bowed her head, recalling the ugly past. “Gerald seemed like the perfect gentleman. I was so naive. I was bowled over by his charm and sophistication. No one like that had ever paid that kind of attention to me before. He pressured me into going to bed with him.”

“Did he force you?”

The air pulsed with tension; she could feel it beating down on her bent head. Haltingly, she explained, “Not technically. At first, I agreed since he convinced me we’d be married soon. But he was so rough-” Her voice cracked. Clearing her throat, she continued, “I tried to slow him down, but he overpowered me and finished. When he got off of me, he called me such awful names.”

Moisture gathered in her eyes and she shrank inwardly as the taunts rang in her head as if he were standing right beside her hurling them at her again.

“Sweet Jesus,” Nick whispered brokenly.

Suddenly, she was aware of hot tears plopping onto her tightly clasped hands. Scrubbing them away, she went on, “He never called me after that. A few weeks later, when I found out I was pregnant, I contacted him. I told him and he went crazy when I refused to get rid of the baby. He slapped me several times, and then tossed me out of the car, leaving me to walk more than five miles back to my place.”

“And Vinnie came to the rescue, right?”

“I was so worried about having an illegitimate child. I didn’t want her to be ostracized by the church, by society, because of my mistake. I knew then that I would protect my baby no matter what.”

“Even if that meant lying.”

“Yes, Nick, lying to the world, lying to you.”

His gaze drilled holes into her.

She gulped hard.

“And you had a lot of practice all your life, didn’t you? You’re a good teacher, Bree; you taught my son well.”

If he’d had a knife and stabbed her it wouldn’t have hurt as bad as his words did. Dawning hit her then; she realized it wouldn’t have made any difference if she’d told Nick weeks, days, or hours earlier. His condemnation rained down on her, with his looks, with his words. “You’re never going to forgive me, are you?”

“How can you even expect me to? For Christ’s sake, Bree, you just took away everything I hold dear. You ripped away Sydney. She’s not mine anymore. She’s not a part of me anymore.”

She scanned his tormented features. Numb with shock, she tried to grasp ahold of the situation, the end of Nick and her. She’d suspected all along that forever with Nick was an impossible dream. Now, she knew it to be true. “I guess there’s nothing more for me to say then,” she said in a dull, flat voice.

Standing on shaky legs, she skirted around him, walked a few steps, and then stopped, suddenly remembering something. Carefully, she undid the fastening on the gold chain, removing the beloved locket. With the comforting treasure missing, she felt naked, barren. The emptiness echoed through her soul.

She dangled the wedding gift in front of him until he opened his hand. With a great deal of difficulty, she dropped the symbol of who they were into his large palm, watching as he wrapped his long fingers around the golden heart. Her own heart twisted in agony. With leaden feet, she moved away from him.

“Where are you going?”

Halting, she turned her head, catching a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye. Bree refused to face him fully, refused to look at the man she had lost.

Sharp darts of pain shafted through her as she realized she’d never kiss him again, never touch him, and would never feel his warm, strong arms comfort her again.

Fighting back a well of fresh tears, she said, “I’m going to pick up my daughter from her play group. Don’t worry, I won’t bring her back here. We’ll stay with Jewel tonight. You see, I’m still protecting Sydney, this time from you and how hurt she’s going to be once she realizes everything. I intend to contact that child psychologist she saw after Vinnie was killed and together we’ll figure out the best way to tell her the truth about who she is and why her father and poppa don’t want her.” She paused. “Good-bye, Nick.”

I love you
.

With her heart shattering into tiny pieces, Bree walked out, fighting back the flood of tears threatening to cascade down her face.

Telling the truth had set her free from the chains of the past, but it had also robbed her of the love of her life.

Silence echoed all around Nick as he hung his head. He clutched the locket, longing to contain the warmth from her skin still clinging to the gold, yearning to hang onto a part of Bree.

She’d exited only moments ago, but it seemed like years already. The emptiness closed in on him, suffocating him. When she walked out, she took all the hope, all the life, all the love out of the house and out of him.