Saint of Sinners (8 page)

He nodded. “I’ll teach you. Get ready and meet me outside. Fifteen minutes.”

Shit. That wasn’t even enough time to eat. Unlike my human tutors, I wasn’t going to argue with him. Well, I’d try not to. “Okay.”

He hopped out the window and I went to the bathroom. I barely made it outside in time, cramming a cold Pop-Tart in my mouth.

“Good. You can follow directions.”

I nodded, my mouth still full.

“Let’s go somewhere less populated.” Then he shifted, going from raven to man, just like a well-done movie effect. Damn, he made it look easy. How long would it be until I got that good? Raven was now a tall, copper-skinned man with long black hair. He held out a hand. “Come on.”

I took it and a second later we were in a forest. In the distance I heard the roar of surf. “Have you done any shapeshifting?” he asked.

I shook my head, still swallowing the last of my Pop-Tart.

“Then how do you know you can?”

I explained about Baldur’s gift. “Even without that, considering who my dad is, it’s not a stretch to think I can shapeshift too. I know it’s possible, I just don’t know
how
to do it.”

“Back when the world was young, it was easy to change shape. Everyone could do it. But the world changed and now all but a few humans are stuck in one shape. Even many gods have a hard time shapeshifting. But you have the ability—I can see it.”

“If you know I can, why did you ask me?”

“So much hinges on belief. You need to believe you can in order to do it.”

“Huh, really? Most of my powers happened for the first time by accident. I didn’t believe in it because I didn’t know I could. It just happened.” Like how I’d made it snow in the dining room.

“Some things are trickier than others.” He tilted his head, birdlike.

“Okay, so if I believe I can do it, then I’ll shapeshift?”

“Hm, not quite that easy.” He tilted his head back and forth a few times, looking at me. “Let’s give it a try.”

I got down on my hands and knees and rolled my eyes at the amused smirk on his face. “I’m trying for a cat first.” I tried for half an hour and nothing happened. It was just like the day before, except more annoying and embarrassing with Raven there. He kept giving me suggestions just like the crows had done when I was learning to fly.

“Maybe I could concentrate better if you shut up,” I told him.

He chuckled. “So impatient. Is that what you feel when you’re trying? Impatience?”

“Yeah. This shouldn’t be so hard.”

He crouched down in front of me so we were almost at eye level. “What do you see? What are you thinking of when you try to change?” He tapped a finger against my forehead.

“I think about the times I wished I could change and didn’t know I could. I pull on the desperation and try to make it fuel my power, the way anger fuels my fire.”

“Desperation and frustration.” He shook his head. “What have I been telling you?”

“That I have to relax, believe I can do it, and feel what I want to become in my bones.”

“You don’t
listen
, little demon.” He tapped my head again and I bristled.

“Don’t call me that.” My skin warmed a little, chasing away the morning chill.

“What does a cat think when he’s being a cat?”

“What?” I blinked at the topic change.

“If you want to be a cat, it helps to think like a cat. You’re still thinking like you. So, what does a cat think?”

I assumed he meant a normal cat and not Mew-Mew. “I don’t know. I guess they think about what the best places to sleep are, and hunting mice, and how much they should clean their fur, and how good tuna is.”

“Keep going.”

“Curling up in a patch of sunlight, and all the things they get to smell when they’re let outside, and if their owner will give them milk tonight, and how good it feels to sharpen their claws on the leather couch, and if they’ll be able to catch the bird before it takes off.” I was still looking at Raven, but I wasn’t seeing him.

“The way the grass feels under my paws, the perfect way to turn my ears to catch the sound of the ocean, where that interesting smell is coming from, how good it feels to stretch every limb one by one, including my tail.” Power moved through me like warm liquid. I looked at my hands, and they’d turned into paws, covered in black fur like extra-large versions of Mew-Mew’s paws.

“Whoa.” I picked up my right paw, but the transformation slid away and it was just my hand again. “What the fuck? What happened?” I looked up at Raven.

“You lost hold of it, but that was a good start.”

I took a deep breath and tried not to be disappointed. “I guess so.” Better than nothing.

Chapter 10

Hayley and I went on a few more dates, and I hung out with Casey and my other new friends. I did my best not to feel too bad about lying to them. Then suddenly Halloween was around the corner… and my birthday. I had to figure out if I wanted to tell my new friends about my birthday and if I wanted to have a party.

Fuck yeah, I wanted a party.

I wanted my demigod friends at my party too, but I thought putting the two groups together was a bad idea. First of all, I’d have to explain who they were, and that meant more lies and half-truths, and second, I didn’t quite trust them all not to let something slip. So, the bright side of all this was that I was going to have two birthday parties, the kind I’d always wanted and not the kind of parties my parents had for me. For one thing, I’d never had kids at my parties, and this time I didn’t have to worry about the possibility of anyone trying to sacrifice animals.

Having a birthday party on Halloween was probably a bad idea, so I planned it for the weekend before. Friday night with my school friends, Saturday with the divine ones.

“Your birthday is Halloween?” Casey said when I told him.

“Yep,” I said. “How perfectly Gothic.”

“I’m having a Halloween party at my house,” Lucia said. “We can turn it into a birthday party too.”

I shook my head. “I was thinking of having a party the Friday before, but I would
love
to come to your Halloween party.” I wanted to see the fun side of Halloween, not the stupid-ass Satanist rituals. Halloween with my parents sucked, and my birthday sucked. The only good thing about them being on the same day was I got it over with all at once.

She smiled, “Oh, you’re totally invited.”

“So what are we doing for your birthday?” Hayley asked.

“I haven’t thought it all out yet.” I knew it couldn’t be anything too expensive, and since it would be after school we didn’t have a lot of time. “Right now, I’d be happy just with you guys coming over, playing some games, cake and presents, that kind of thing.”

“Well, keep thinking about it,” Hayley said. “If you want to do something special, just let us know.”

“Thanks.” I kissed her cheek. We’d kissed
a lot
since our first date, and it still gave me a warm fuzzy feeling.

***

My party ended up being at Hayley and Casey’s house. That way we had more room and we didn’t have to worry about being quiet. They decorated and everything. It was really nice. Their parents kept an eye on all of us, but they were pretty relaxed about it.

We played some video games, a board game, had cake, and everyone sang “Happy Birthday.” I almost got a little choked up, thinking about how much I’d wanted this, and now here it was.

The next day I went with my other friends to Six Flags. Holy shit, that was fun. Colin almost barfed after one of the coasters, Stefan got soaked on a water ride, and Emily convinced me to go on the craziest roller coaster in the park, which was at first terrifying and then
awesome
.

On the downside, waiting in line sucked so much I was tempted to use my powers to get everyone out of the way. I kept thinking of how many more rides I could have if it wasn’t for the fucking lines. Still, it was one of the best days of my life, and I went home exhausted and happy.

***

A few days later it was Halloween, and for the first time ever I got to wear a costume. I’d agonized over it for weeks. It was so damn hard to decide. I didn’t want to be anything “evil,” but I didn’t want to be anything boring, either. I finally settled on being a cowboy. I’d wanted to be one when I was little, and it seemed to fit. They were generally good guys, but not pure. A little rough around the edges, but they still saved the day.

Just before I was about to leave, I got a text from Lucia.
Party delayed. Have 2 take bro out b4.

I called her up. “Hey, it’s Alex. What’s going on?”

“I have to take my stupid brother out trick-or-treating before we can start the party. That or stay here while my mom takes him out. She won’t let me have you guys over if she’s not here.”

“That sucks.” We’d lose at least an hour or two, and we already couldn’t stay up too late because it was a school night. I was jealous of her, actually, having an excuse to go house-to-house. With a mask, no one would know she was high school age. “Oh, hey. Would your mom mind if I took him?”

“What?”

“I can take your brother trick-or-treating.” The thought made me feel giddy. I’d never gotten to go trick-or-treating, and now I was supposedly too old.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, ask her. Then you can start the party on time.” I wouldn’t mind missing some of it for that.

She asked, and her mom gave the okay as long as I promised to be responsible. I told her, “I solemnly swear to look out for him, to keep him safe from cars and candy-snatchers.”

So Lucia picked me up and we went back to her house. “Nice costume,” she said.

“Thanks, ma’am.” I tipped my hat.

The house was decorated inside and out, the fake spiderwebs and hanging ghosts making me smile. Her mom answered the door and invited me in. “Are you sure you want to take him?” she asked.

“Yeah. Maybe I can score some candy too.” I grinned, practically bouncing with excitement.

Lucia’s little brother was in the living room, giving me a wary look. Was I good with kids? I guess I was going to find out. If ghost kids counted, then I was pretty good with them. Her little brother was six and dressed like Batman. “Hi, Oscar. Ready to get some candy?”

He nodded, but he didn’t look too sure about it. Probably just nervous because he’d never met me before. Or did he sense what I was?

“You know what? I want candy too.” I asked Lucia if she had a bag I could use, and she provided me with a pillowcase.

“Are you really trick-or-treating?” she asked, looking like she wanted to laugh.

“Yeah, aren’t you too old?” Oscar asked.

“Too old? No way! And if they don’t want to give me candy…” I pulled my bandana over my mouth and pulled out a plastic gun. “Then I’ll take it all!”

Oscar laughed. “You’re silly.”

“And then you can chase me down and take it back, cause that’s what Batman does, right?”

“Yeah, and then I’ll throw you in Arkham.”

I gasped and put a hand on my chest. “Not Arkham!”

He laughed again.

“Come on,” I said, “before the other kids get all the candy.”

We went from house to house, just like I’d seen on TV and movies. I kept the bandana around my mouth and my hat pulled low, hoping to pass for a tall but younger kid. No one questioned me and Oscar and I loaded up with candy. The packs of kids wandering around, the decorations, the people passing out candy… this was the kind of ritual I’d always wanted.

I went back to Lucia’s house with a half-full pillowcase. Oscar’s Batman bag—to go with his costume—was full.

“I made out like a bandit. Look at all this.” I dropped my bag on the table.

“You really went trick-or-treating?” Casey asked, laughing. He was dressed as a demon, which was just too damn ironic.

“Hell yeah, I did.” I tipped the pillowcase to spread some of the candy on the table, looking for good stuff.

“You just turned seventeen.” Hayley was laughing too. She was a Gothic princess. While I would have enjoyed her prancing around in one of those skimpy costumes like a French maid or a sexy nurse, I was actually pleased she’d chosen something less revealing. She wasn’t a typical teenage girl in many ways, and I liked that.

“I’m way the fuck overdue then, aren’t I?” I plucked out a chocolate bar and unwrapped it.

“Overdue?” Jayson asked.

“Never been trick-or-treating before.” I shoved the small piece in my mouth.

“What? Why?” Lucia asked.

“Controlling parents,” I said around my mouthful. I swallowed and went hunting for the next piece.

I shared my bounty with everyone. When the party wound down a little, we settled in the living room to watch horror movies. It was getting late, and there was school the next day, so Hayley drove me home. I kissed her goodnight and went up to my apartment. I trusted the spell scrolls enough that I’d told Mew-Mew it was safe to be home when I wasn’t there. He’d spent most of Halloween sleeping on the couch. I babbled to him about my night while I took off my costume.

I took a while for me to fall asleep. This had been the best week ever.

***

Alex! Alex!
I woke to Mew-Mew pawing at my face.

“What?” I was still half asleep, the tatters of a dream fogging my mind.

They sacrificed cats.

“
What?
” I sat up, almost knocking him off the bed.

The Queen sent a messenger. The Satanists that worship you killed cats for your birthday.
I felt the anger and sadness rolling off him.

“They’re fucking
killing cats
in
my name
?” The last of my sleepiness dropped away and my skin heated up. I had to get out of bed before I set it on fire. “I’m gonna fucking
kill them
.”

It wasn’t just a threat, the way I’d said that to my parents for years, knowing I couldn’t because they were magically protected. “I’m gonna find them, and I’m gonna kill them.” Animus sang to me from the other room. She wanted blood.

Chapter 11

“Can the queen tell us where they were killed?” I started getting dressed.