Rush of Darkness (7 page)

“It’s more likely that he’s worried I’d be able to get a read on her and tell the Watchmen where he’s hiding,” she said in response to his question. “Like I told you before, I’m sure that’s why the Casus haven’t been allowed to join him.”

“Could you read her if you needed to?”

“I don’t know. It’s doubtful. I’m using everything I have just to keep tabs on the Casus I’m going after. The easiest way to think of my power at the moment is like a battery. Every glimpse I steal is draining that battery, and nothing seems capable of recharging it.”

Nothing except for this seething need for revenge burning inside her, which was the only reason she’d been able to clue in to those Casus she was hunting—but she kept that truth to herself.

Lifting his bandaged right hand, he rubbed at the muscles at the back of his neck, and asked, “If it’s difficult for you to see the ones you hate most, like Westmore and Seton, then why can you see the Casus?”

“Every threat doesn’t become a blind spot. You’re looking for logical explanations, but I don’t have any.
This isn’t science, McConnell. It’s the supernatural. You can’t apply human reasoning.”

“But you have a theory, don’t you?” The way he looked at her with those piercing eyes, and the sureness of his tone, made her feel as if
he
was the one who read minds.

“If I had to guess,” she murmured, tugging her knees closer to her chest, “it would be because the orders were coming from Westmore and Seton. The others were just their sheep.”

“So you’re blind to those you sense as a direct threat?”

“Sometimes.” With a wry half smile, she said, “It’s a twisted system, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” He kept rubbing at the back of his neck, as if trying to work out a knot. “But I would never… I’m not a threat, damn it.”

“Why does it bother you so much?” she asked, more than a little confused by his reaction. “I thought you’d be pleased to know that for the most part, you’re completely blank to me now.”

He blew out another ragged breath of air and finally stopped rubbing his neck, shoving his bandaged hand back in his pocket. “I’m not saying I want you wandering around in my head,” he growled, the rough words thick with frustration. “But I don’t want to be something you fear, either.” As if he sensed her desire to break eye contact, his dark gaze locked tighter with hers, making it impossible for her to look away. “I want you to trust me, Raine.”

A little warning bell started to sound from somewhere deep inside her mind, but she ignored it, too fascinated to back down now. “Why?”

A grim burst of laughter spilled over, and he leaned his head back onto his broad shoulders, staring up at the corrugated ceiling. “Hell if I know.”

“You’re lost, aren’t you?” she said softly, suddenly feeling as if she was sensing him on a level that went beyond her powers, and it was unnerving. She didn’t want to share that kind of emotional connection with the human, instinctively interpreting his tones and expressions and body language, almost as if she were his lover. It was too…intimate. Too real.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, a notch forming between his brows as he lowered his head.

With a nervous shrug, she said, “Your life has been turned upside down. You now work with your enemies. You fight against men who were once your friends. I might not be able to read you clearly, but I can sense the conflict within you. And I’d be willing to bet that sometimes you must feel as if you’re trapped inside some kind of dream.”

Quietly, he said, “Is that how you feel?”

Her mouth twitched, and she knew the small smile touching her lips looked bitter. “If so, then I’ve been trapped in a nightmare for months. If I could, I’d wake up and find that this entire year never happened.”

“I’ve felt that same way before,” he told her, his rough voice resonating through her body like an emotion, and
she knew he was thinking about the months that had followed his family’s death.

“I know you have,” she whispered, before taking a deep breath and hardening her tone. “But I’m not your ticket to redemption, McConnell. If you’re thinking you can save me from myself and absolve your sins, it’s not going to work. You should cut your losses now and let me finish this on my own.”

His eyes narrowed, but before he could say anything in response, his phone rang. After checking the display, he took the call, and without so much as a word to her, he walked out onto the room’s shallow balcony, shutting the double doors behind him. Raine leaned back against the headboard, trying to hear his conversation, but all she could make out was the deep rumble of his voice. So she settled for simply watching him instead, allowing herself a moment to appreciate those broad, muscular shoulders and the long, powerful lines of his body. He had to be at least a few inches over six feet, which was tall for a human, the years he’d spent honing his body into a lethal weapon looking damn good on him, even if it did give him the dangerous air of a predator. She didn’t imagine, though, that he’d ever had any trouble finding women who were willing to play the part of his prey.

And why on earth does that thought make me want to track down said women and scratch their bloody eyes out?

She was still mulling over an answer when he slipped the phone in his pocket and came back into the room. A groove had woven its way between his brows again,
and she waited for him to tell her what had happened. But the words never came. Instead, he just started that restless pacing again, looking as if he were a million miles away, completely lost in his thoughts.

“Is there something wrong?” she finally asked, unable to take it anymore.

“Everything’s fine,” he replied, his tone flat, and she knew he was lying.

“Damn it, don’t do that.”

He slid her a shadowed look. “Do what?”

“Keep things from me. Considering you’ve attached yourself to me, against my will, the least you can do is be honest.”

He didn’t look happy about it, but he gave her the explanation she’d demanded. “You know that Westmore has been sending scouts sniffing around Harrow House for months now, trying to get under our defenses, right?”

She nodded.

“The part you didn’t know is that since he hasn’t had any success, he’s taken several Watchmen who belong to other compounds and held them hostage, demanding you in exchange.”

“And no one ever told me?” She pressed one hand to her throat, feeling as if the oxygen had suddenly been sucked out of the room. “This is insane. Why didn’t anyone tell me what was happening?”

He stopped pacing and propped his shoulder against the wall. “They didn’t tell you because there’s nothing you could have done,” he muttered. “But this proves that your family has done the right thing by remaining at the
compound in Rome. It also proves how dangerous it was for you to leave Harrow House.”

Not wanting to rehash that particular argument, she asked, “What happened to the Watchmen who were captured?”

His expression tightened. “My unit was able to recover one of the shifters. He was being kept at an old Collective safe house in Austria.”

“And the others?”

He shook his head. “They didn’t make it.”

Her throat was so dry she couldn’t even swallow. “What about the Watchman you rescued?”

“He just passed away. That’s what Kellan was calling to tell me.”

“Jesus… All that because of me?” Her voice cracked, and she lowered her gaze to the bed, feeling as if she’d been scraped raw inside. “No wonder no one followed me to Rome last week. Your friends must have been relieved when I finally left their home.”

“It wasn’t like that and you know it. The only reason Kierland didn’t drag you right back when you left Harrow House was because he figured it might be safer for you in Rome with your family. But you snuck away from there as well and for some reason your parents covered for you. Kierland only found out that you’d left the compound the day before yesterday, and your mother refused to tell him where you’d gone.”

Lifting her gaze back to his, she said, “So you decided to take action and went to see my parents in person.”

He gave her one of those nearly imperceptible nods,
the masculine arrogance of the gesture reminding her of the shifters he now called friends. God, no wonder he got along with the testosterone beasties so well. Despite the differences in their DNA, they were remarkably similar, both in attitude and determination.

Realizing he was carefully studying her facial features, she started to blush. “What is it?”

“You look a lot like your mother. But you have your dad’s chin.”

“I have his stubborn streak, as well.”

His head tilted a little to the side. “Why
did
your parents cover for you, Raine? It’s obvious, after meeting them, that they love you.”

The heat in her face burned brighter. “I wasn’t exactly honest with them about what I’m doing. I told them that the Deschanel Court had ordered me to hunt down the Casus, but that the elders didn’t want the Watchmen involved. They think I’m working with the
Förmyndares
.”

His eyes went wide. “Christ. Couldn’t your mother tell you were lying to her?”

“No,” she admitted with a sad kind of smile. “She can’t read me.”

“Can she see the future?” he asked, his gaze sharpening as he suddenly straightened away from the wall. “Not for you, but for others?”

She rolled her shoulder, wishing she could get inside his mind and find out what the hell he was thinking. “Sometimes she has…flashes,” she explained, “but it’s
nothing she can control. Now tell me why you want to know.”

He was back to rubbing that golden stubble along his jaw. “I just had the feeling that she wasn’t all that surprised when I showed up.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “So you think my mom didn’t protest my sneaking away from the compound because she believed you were coming to play the part of my rescuer?”

“I think she knows how seriously I take your protection.” His tone was gruff, and with a small jolt of surprise, Raine realized he wasn’t joking.

“Don’t say things like that,” she said shakily, unable to control the shiver that coursed through her body. “It makes me nervous, because I can’t figure out what you’re after.”

“I’m not after anything, Raine. I just want you to be safe.” He cut a quick look toward the window, then headed over and lowered the blinds, blocking out the early-morning rays of sunshine that were creeping in. “We should get some rest while we can. That nine o’clock train to Berlin you want to catch doesn’t leave us much time to sleep.”

She pulled her lower lip through her teeth, silently debating what to do, then spoke in a nervous rush before she could change her mind. “You don’t have to use the couch. It’s about three feet too short for you. You can lie on the bed, so long as you keep to your side of it.”

He turned toward her slowly, his brows arched. “You sure that wouldn’t bother you?”

She nodded, but the way he was staring at her made her fidget. “What?”

“You’re just not acting like I’d expected,” he said carefully, pushing his big hands back in his pockets. “You’re much calmer.”

It wasn’t easy, but she forced a casual shrug. “I know you won’t force yourself on me. So as long as you don’t try anything stupid or accidentally touch my hair, I won’t panic.”

His eyes got that soft, hot glow that always ramped up her pulse. “And what if I lose my head a little and try to kiss you again?”

“Then I’ll lay you flat,” she drawled, moving off the bed and setting her laptop on the bedside table. “Just like the last time.”

“Just for a kiss? You’re a bloodthirsty little thing, aren’t you?”

“You have no idea,” she muttered under her breath, slipping off her socks and then climbing into the bed with her jeans and T-shirt still on. “We vamps are as bloodthirsty as it gets.”

He came closer, and she turned her head on the pillow, thinking he looked even taller when she was lying down, his shoulders even broader. “You know, I might be a lowly human,” he teased, one of those crooked grins crossing his mouth, “but I’m not a weakling.”

“Neither am I. Not anymore.” She rolled over, giving him her back, and for a moment, nothing happened. Then the mattress sagged under his weight as he sat down on the other side of the bed, no doubt removing his boots,
and she reached out to turn off the lamp, before softly adding, “So try not to forget it.”

R
AINE KNEW SHE WAS
dreaming, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was keeping more of this feeling, because it was too good to just give up. Too comforting and warm, easing the tight knot in her chest. Turning her muscles to jelly. No tension…no stress. Just an easy, exquisite sense of simply being.

She stood looking into the window of a house, watching a teenage boy play a board game with a little girl who looked like she was his sister. The boy was probably around fifteen or sixteen, well into the age where girls and cars were the only things that mattered. He should have been in hell sitting there on a pink carpet with a laughing little girl who couldn’t have been more than six, but amazingly, he looked as if he was enjoying himself, his green eyes shining whenever he said something that made the child erupt into another fit of giggles.

While the little girl rolled the dice, the boy lifted his hand, shoving his golden hair back from his face, and the casual gesture made Raine gasp, her own hands lifting, pressing flat against the chilly windowpane as she tried to get a clearer look. The gesture was so familiar, she suddenly knew
exactly
who she was watching. This was a teenage Seth. But what did it mean? Had she managed to slip into his dreams while they were sleeping? Or was she simply seeing one of his memories? A memory from his childhood, when he’d played with his little sister. A sister he’d lose not long after this moment, judging by
his age in the dream. Raine quickly spun away from the window, unable to watch anymore. All those warm, cozy feelings had just been destroyed, a cold, sharp ache left in their place.

“I don’t want to see this,” she croaked, knowing she had to leave. She had no idea where she was going, but she started to run down the moonlit street. The trees swayed with the violent breeze, pulling in closer at her sides, until the road became little more than a path, the wind and leaves whipping against her body with stinging bursts of pain. Stark howls began to sound in the distance, reminding her of the Casus, and she cried out, afraid, using every last ounce of strength to run harder…faster. She looked back over her shoulder, terrified of what she might find, but there was nothing but a deep, impenetrable darkness, like staring into the bottom of a well.