Ruined (The Seraphim Series Book 1) (28 page)

“You really are as beautiful as they say, you know.” She turned as the man sneered, twisting a piece of her hair through his fingers.

“Leave me alone!”
she screamed, running towards them, but instead of colliding with them, she fell straight through them, hitting the wall on the opposite side.
“Just leave me alone,”
she begged, letting the wall take her weight. Unlike the other times, she didn’t just feel the pain that her old self was going through; she also felt her fear. It was crippling and painful.

“We should have told Azrael about this,” a shorter man piped up, nervously moving from one foot to the other. “He'll kill us if he finds out we went against his orders and that we're not at our posts.”

“Be quiet.” The bigger one holding Lilliah laughed. “Azrael is fighting on Earth. He doesn’t need to know anything. And when we bring Michael’s daughter to Lucifer, Azrael will be kissing our feet!” he boasted.

“You’re right. You’re right,” the shorter one quickly agreed.

“I know I’m right. So let’s leave.”

Lilliah watched as they dragged her towards the small corridor.

“Mmmmm . . .” Her words were muffled by the man’s hands.

“Shut up,” he hissed as she started to kick and thrash violently. “Ow!” he yelled as she bit his hand. “You little bitch.” Lilliah watched from the corner of the room as they threw her to the floor. “You’re going to seriously regret doing that.”

“What are you doing?” the smaller guy asked, looking panicked, pulling at his hair in frustration. “We can’t hurt her. Lucifer will kill us if there is even a mark on her!”

“Shut up,” the bulky man seethed, his face red with anger. “We'll be fine. This plan will work. Lucifer will be kissing our feet when we take her to him.” Both men were too busy to notice that her angelic self had sat on the floor, muttering something quick and quiet.

“Wait. What the hell is she doing?” the larger man demanded, staring down at Lilliah.

“Stop it,” the smaller one ordered, lightly kicking her foot. “Stop it!” he ordered, shouting.
A bright light shot out of Lilliah, filling the room like an explosion, throwing the two men away from her. They hit the wall. Whatever was happening didn’t seem to affect Lilliah. 

Lilliah walked closer to herself as the light slowly began to dim.
Was that magic?
She reached out to touch her own hair.

It was clear whatever had happened had exhausted Lilliah. She sat on the floor, breathing heavily and looking slightly dazed. Both men were still slumped on the floor.

“Are they dead
?” Lilliah asked out loud, not wanting to get too close. She knew it was stupid, as they couldn’t see her or hurt her. The room shook as another explosion went off above them.

“Father,” her angelic self murmured as if pulled from a daze. As quickly as she could, with her hands still bound, she stood and headed for the stairs. Lilliah followed as they ran up and into the hall, stopping at what they saw. In the short time they had been in the basement, a full-blown battle had erupted above them. Guards were running everywhere. Some of them were trying to put out the fires that had started just outside the grand entrance.

“Take cover!” someone yelled, running into the hall. Lilliah watched from the back of the room as all the guards ran towards her.

“Lilliah!” Erik yelled, running towards her angelic self. “Run!” His hands waved frantically in the air.

“What . . .” The front wall of the house came crashing down as a massive bolder came flying through the air. The blast knocked everyone to the ground but stopped just before it got to Lilliah.

“Erik.” She rushed over to him and began to pull the rubble off his body.

“I'm fine,” he claimed, weakly holding his side in pain. “Lilliah, I'm fine,” he said more sternly as the other guards started to emerge from under the rubble.

“Is everyone okay?” he asked, turning towards his men.

“Yes, sir,” they all answered in unison.

“Right. Forget the fire. Go out and protect the people. They’re within our walls.”

The guards ran out of the room, leaving Lilliah to look around the ruins of her home.

“I need to help my father, Erik. Sapphire betrayed us.”

“Sapphire.” He breathed in, his face scrunched up in pain. “Lilliah, you have to listen to me carefully. They’re here. You need to get to safety. I don't have time to explain everything to you. Follow me.” He grabbed her by the top of her arm and pulled her up. “When I say run, you
run
. When I say stop, you
stop
! Do you understand?”

“Yes,” she answered as they left what remained of her house. Everything was in chaos. Rubble and stones dropped off the building and fell out of the sky.

Lilliah stayed close to her angelic self as a war raged on around her.

“Run. Now!” Erik ordered.

They ran across the courtyard, both heading for the main gate. They faltered when two warriors came into view, the weapons in their hands almost gleaming.

“I'll hold them off,” Erik said, drawing a sword-like weapon. “You need to run, Lilliah. Stay away from the main street and keep hidden. Try and get out of the walls. You'll be safer.” The two started to walk towards them, their eyes fixed on Lilliah.

“No. I need to get to my father, he'll—”

“Your father will be locked away!” he shouted, getting into his fighting stance. “You need to get to safety. Go now!” he ordered, throwing himself at the men.

Lilliah ran as fast as she could, picking up her dress to try and go faster. The cries of war and the noise of battle weren’t far away as she ran through the streets.

“I need to get to the wall,” angelic Lilliah said, leaning on a wall as she tried to catch her breath.

Well, this is how we fall then
, Lilliah decided, looking around the ruins of the city. This really wasn’t what she had imagined when she’d thought of Heaven. It was a war zone, nothing more.

Peering around the corner of the building she was hiding behind, Lilliah saw a group of soldiers standing on the other side of the road. They weren’t wearing the same gold armour that Erik had been wearing. Keeping down, Lilliah ran for the next building.

“What was that?” a man shouted from across the street.

Lilliah froze as the sound of footsteps got closer. Knowing they couldn’t see her, she stood still.

“
Oh, you have to leave!”
she said, trying her hardest to push her angelic self, but like every other time, her hand simply went straight through her. “
Quick, they’re coming!”
she begged.

“What did you see?”

She watched as her angelic self got closer to the wall, trying to hide in the shadows.

“I saw someone,” the guard said again, his eyes narrowing.

Before they could look in her direction, Lilliah moved quickly. She pounced forward, grabbing a dagger from the man's belt.

“What the . . .”

She plunged the dagger into his neck before the words had left his mouth and then threw it at the other, hitting him directly in the middle of his chest. They both fell to the ground, dead, with Lilliah’s angelic self standing over them.

“Oh, my God!”
Lilliah exclaimed, wide-eyed, still staring down at the bodies. “
I just
 . . .
I just killed them!
” she shrieked, even though she knew no one could hear her. “
I'm amazing! I'm a kick-ass angel!”
She followed her other self, still dazed as they carried on running all over the city, hiding when they came across more guards. Finally, they came across the wall; a large, grand gate had been blown open.

This cannot be happening. Heaven cannot just fall like this.
Lilliah watched herself numbly walk forward towards the gate and run her hand over the devastation.
This cannot happen.
She had become completely oblivious to her surroundings, too engrossed to see what was in front of her.

“Oh, watch out!”
Lilliah shouted as a warrior swooped around the corner, grabbing her by the arm and hoisting her up. “
Why do I keep yelling?”
she asked herself as she watched the guard and her angelic self do battle. “
No one can hear me. What's the point?”

“Get off me!” Lilliah screamed as the guard gained the upper hand and restrained her.

“You’re coming with me,” he seethed, dragging her out past the wall while he wiped the drop of blood that was running down his cheek. “I'm pretty impressed.” He laughed, easily dragging her.

“Let me go!” she screamed again, trying to kick and thrash her arms.

“Now you listen to me.” He stopped abruptly. “I'm taking you to Earth. To Azrael. It'll be up to him what we do with you.” A look of pure terror crossed Lilliah's face at the mention of Azrael’s name.

They were just outside the wall when the guard started to shake violently, first his hands and then his whole body.

“Quick,” he stressed, finding it hard to breathe. “We need to get out of here.”

“What?” Lilliah frowned as his whole body shook. He grabbed her arm tightly. She wasn’t exactly sure what had happened or how they had got there, but when she looked up, they weren’t in Heaven any more.

“Where are we?” she whispered, looking around the rough ground, fear creeping up her spine.

“Earth,” the guard and Lilliah said at the same time. The guard screamed and dropped to his knees in pain.

“No!” He crawled away from her.

“What?” She watched the guard leave her, his whole body thrashing in pain.

Azrael’s words from earlier came back to her.
“You could be standing on Earth’s solid ground and then suddenly feel like you’re falling through the sky at a hundred miles an hour.”

We're falling.
Lilliah walked up to stand beside herself. First, the pain started in their hands, working its way up their bodies.

“What? What's happening?” Lilliah screamed, looking down at her hands. They both fell to the ground in unison, the pain burning their bodies. A fire encased and consumed her whole body. It was as if their insides were being ripped apart, as if every bone in their bodies were breaking one by one, all the while feeling as though they were falling through the skies at one hundred miles per hour. Although this time, she didn’t fall on the hard ground. This time she fell into darkness.

“How long will she be asleep for?” Sebastian? Lilliah recognised his voice but couldn’t see him. She was in the dark, trying to open her eyes, but no matter how hard she tried, they remained shut.

“She’s been through a lot. Her body will need time to recover,” she could hear Benedict explain. They were close by, possibly talking while standing over her? “She’ll wake up when she’s ready.”

“What if she’s never ready? What if she never wakes up?”

“She will.” Azrael’s voice was the last thing she heard before she drifted back into the darkness.

Chapter 23

“You walked through the fire. Did you like what you saw?” the voice in the darkness mocked her.

Where was he? Trying to command her eyes to open, she wanted to scream. He sounded close, too close. Was he standing over her like the others had been? Shivers ran down her spine.

“No, no, no.” He laughed. “I’m in your head, little Lilliah,” it chanted. “But soon I will be out. Finally I’ll get to meet you, daughter of Michael.”

“No!” she screamed, trying to move, trying to run, but she couldn’t. “You will never be let out of Hell.”

“Oh, little Lilliah.” It laughed again, mockingly. “What makes you think I’m not already out?”

“No!” she screamed, shooting up from the bed she was lying on. Her heavy breathing was the only noise in the open, sunlit room. Her eyes quickly scanned everything, trying to figure out whether it was real. It was impossible to tell what was real and what had been a dream. “Hello?” her voice croaked out after a moment of silence. Nothing. She was alone.

Carefully, she pulled the quilt back. She realised she was still wearing the black clothes she had been given for the spell. They were worn and a little dirty, but they were the same clothes. Where was she? The room was big but empty. The only thing in it was the double bed she had been sleeping on. Was she still with The Cure? Where were Azrael and Benedict? Carefully, she lowered her feet to the ground, feeling the cold floor under her bare feet.

“Oh, hey. You’re awake.”

Quickly jumping to her feet, she spun round to see a smiling man she didn’t recognise. “Who are you?” she asked suspiciously, looking him up and down. He was casually dressed in jeans and a jumper, his light-brown hair pushed back from his face. She guessed he couldn’t be any older than twenty.

“Okay. Calm down. I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, holding his hands up. “I’m Nathan,” he continued, slowly taking a step towards her; instinctively, she took two steps back. “You’re at The Cure.”

“Where’s Azrael?”

“I’ll go get him,” Nathan offered quickly. “You just stay here. Don’t move, and I’ll be right back.” She watched as he practically ran out of the room, leaving her alone again.

“I think I’m back.” She sighed, gratefully sitting down on the bed. What had happened to her? She looked down at her hands, trying to find a difference. They looked the same. She felt the same. The spell was supposed to make her remember her powers. Had it worked?

“Lilliah.” She turned at the sound of Azrael’s voice. He made it into the room in record time, because before she had time to stand, she was in his arms. “You’re awake.” He breathed into her hair.

She nodded, wrapping her arms around his waist. She was definitely back.

“How long was I asleep for?” she mumbled into his chest.

“A day,” he told her, holding her back to let his eyes roam over her body. “How do you feel? Do you remember what happened?”

A day. Is that all it was?
She felt as though she had been in the white room for months—years maybe.

“I feel okay. I think.” She shrugged. “I just feel tired.” She looked up at him, trying to think how to word what she was about to say. “I saw it. I saw everything. I saw every single time I ever died. I felt the pain all over again.”

“What?” Azrael’s eyes bore into her, his brows slightly creasing. “What do you mean you saw everything?”

“I watched myself die again and again,” she explained, shaking her head at the memory. “Over and over, I went through all my old lives. It was horrible,” she whispered that word.

“Do you remember what happened in the chamber? When Ada was performing the spell?” he asked gently, running his hands up and down her arms.

“The voice,” she whispered. “I remember the voice.”

“The voice?” Azrael asked, eyes hardening and his hands tightening on the tops of her arms. “What voice?” he repeated a little more harshly when she still hadn’t replied.

“Lucifer’s.” She lifted her head and met his gaze. He grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her out the door. He was walking too fast. She had to break out into a jog to keep up. She collided into his chest when he quickly turned to face her.

“What?” she asked, confused.

“Hold on.” He hooked one arm around her waist and moved. They sped through the halls so fast she closed her eyes and had to jam her mouth shut to stop a squeal from escaping.

“I really hate that!” she all but shouted once he put her down, her legs still shaky.

“You know I’m fast,” he said with a shrug, taking her hand again and leading her into a sitting room. He closed the door behind them. “Benedict!” he shouted, making Lilliah jump. Benedict walked through another door on the opposite side of the room, his bemused expression changing once he saw Lilliah.

“You’re awake,” he said, walking up to her. “How are you feeling? What do you remember?”

“She’s fine,” Azrael cut in harshly. “Close the door. We need to speak in private.”

Benedict nodded, giving Lilliah one last look before he went and locked the door he had just in come from.

“Lilliah,” Azrael stressed, leading her to a seat in the middle of the room. “You need to tell us everything that happened. Everything you saw. Okay?” he said, waiting for her nod to carry on. “Don’t leave anything out.”

She started from the beginning, telling him everything she could remember about what had happened in the chamber, how everything had become hazy but the voice had remained clear. She could never forget it. Then she told them about the white room and how she had seen herself die over and over again.

“Was that supposed to happen? You told me Lucifer could only speak to us. That it was the effect of using so much magic. Then how was it possible for him to speak to her as well?” Azrael grimaced, his eyes fixed solely on Benedict, his hands almost shaking with anger.

“I didn’t think he could,” Benedict admitted. “We didn’t think it was possible.”

“You didn’t
think
so?” Azrael yelled, slowly standing. “Did you know
anything
about this spell before you performed it?”

 Lilliah saw his eyes blazing, his hands curling into fists. She had to stop him soon before he hurt Benedict.

“In a way, the spell was to unblock her memory so she could use her magic once again,” Benedict blurted out. She could see he was trying to understand it all as well. He didn’t have all the answers.

“I saw Heaven as well.” She said the words so quickly she wasn’t sure whether they had heard her until both heads whipped in her direction.

“What did you see?”

She told them everything. She remembered it all perfectly—every angel she’d met and every building she had been in. She tried to explain it all in the best way she could.

“That’s, well, that’s amazing,” Benedict exclaimed, falling back in his chair.

“There’s no possible way he’s out,” Azrael said, shaking his head. “There is no possible way Lucifer could have escaped from Hell. It’s impossible,” he repeated, staring down at the carpeted floor.

“It was him.” She knew it in her bones it was him.

“Why isn’t any of this making sense?” Azrael roared.

Lilliah walked over to him, trying to calm him somehow. She smiled softly. “We'll figure it out.”

“I know we will.” He nodded his head slowly.

“Azrael hardly left your side the entire time you were asleep,” Rebecca shared as they walked through The Cure’s halls. “He was furious that something had gone wrong. I think that if you hadn’t woken up soon, he would have killed someone. I think he blames himself.” She sighed. “His anger switches from himself to Benedict. But really, it's neither of their faults. We don't even know if something actually did go wrong. It could have just been the spell.”

They moved, letting people pass. They had been at The Cure for a week and what she’d quickly come to realise was that The Cure was one busy place. No matter what time of day or night, there was always something going on.

“Something definitely went wrong,” Rebecca said, pulling a face. “You heard the Devil. I know nothing about magic, but I know that was not supposed to happen.”

When she had woken up, she had told Azrael and Benedict everything she had seen before going to look for Rebecca and Sebastian. Azrael had told her they had all moved into The Cure for the time being because of the unknown threat. She had told them everything she remembered, just like she had Azrael and Benedict.

“I know,” Lilliah said honestly. “But I’m okay. There was no serious damage.”

“But it is serious.” Rebecca stopped walking to face her. “You could have quite easily died. I heard Ada has locked herself in her room. People want her to step down,” she informed Lilliah.

“Because of the spell?”

“Yeah, because of the spell. Lucifer spoke to people in the room,” she stressed, linking their arms. “It doesn’t matter what form he was in, the Devil was out of Hell. They’re saying it was too dangerous, and she took an unnecessary risk.”

“Oh, no.” Lilliah exhaled. “I didn’t want any of this to happen. This really is my fault!” The thought that all this was happening and that Ada might have to step down because of her was unthinkable. She had never wanted to be this much trouble. “Why did it have to go all wrong?”

“I don't know, but you should have told us how powerful the spell was!” Rebecca’s face was pained. “Why did you lie? What if something had really happened and you’d died?”

“I just didn't want you and Seb to try and stop me.” She shrugged at the lame excuse. “I'm sorry.”

“Well, you should have said something.” Her features softened to a soft smile. “Seb’s still mad.”

“Yeah, I know that.” Her brother had briefly come to check on her condition, and they hadn't spoken since. That had been a whole day ago. “
I'm glad you’re okay, but I'm still too pissed at you right now, Lil,”
had been his exact words.

“Jeremy’s mad at me too.” Lilliah bit her lip. “I’ve been calling him like mad but he’s not picking up.”

“Yeah. He’s been telling me how mad he is at you.” Rebecca rolled her eyes. “It seems that now he’s fallen out with you, I’m his number one BFF.”

“I just want to tell him I’m sorry.”

“For what? For having a boyfriend?” Rebecca snorted. “Please, Jeremy will get over it. You have bigger stuff to worry about right now.”

“I just don’t want him to be hurt.”

“You don’t have to worry about Jeremy right now. You have to worry about your mum and your brother. Who I’m actually going to go and see right now. Want to come?”

Lilliah shook her head. “No. I'll go and see him again later. Maybe after he's eaten. He’s happier after he eats. ”

Opening one eye, Lilliah stared at the colourful vase in front of her. It was still intact. She opened her other eye, quickly scanning the rest of the room, a part of her hoping she had missed the vase, but had hit everything else around her. Still nothing. Everything was exactly the same. Nothing was broken or burnt, not even slightly cracked. She stood, defeated. She had been trying to summon her powers for the past two days; so far, she hadn’t even managed a spark let alone a flame or a blast like she had been able to conjure when she was in Heaven. She had no idea what she was doing wrong, but with no one else around to show her how it was supposed to be done, she was on her own.

“What do you mean, a blast?” Azrael had asked when she had tried to explain it to him.

“It was just a blast. There was fire, and I just don’t know!” she had exclaimed, unable to find the right words to explain what she had seen.

“I’ve never seen any angel blow up,” Azrael had explained. “Or catch fire or anything like what you’re explaining.”

Lilliah had frowned. It had definitely happened; she knew what she had seen. “I did it,” she had told him seriously.

“I’m not saying you didn’t, angel. I just have no idea what it is.”

So she had taken it into her own hands to try and recreate it herself.

“What are you doing?” She turned to see Nathan, the guy who had been in her room when she had woken up, standing in the doorway, smirking at her.

“Nothing,” she claimed, putting the vase back on the counter. She looked over at him, noticing his workout gear. “You’ve been working out?” she asked, trying to make conversation. “I didn’t know there was a gym here.”

“Yeah.” He gave her a very boyish grin, running a hand over his messy, light-brown hair. “The gym is one of the good things about this place. So what were you doing?” he asked, looking at the cushion on the floor where she had been sitting.

“Well, I was trying to see if I have my powers,” she told him, crossing her arms. “I don’t think the spell worked.”

“Right.” He nodded, looking a little confused. “I don't think the library is the best place to be trying out new magic.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter now anyway,” she told him, picking up the cushion. “As I said, it didn’t work.”

“Magic is mostly connected to your emotions.” She watched as he walked up to the pile of books she had got out. “I guess it’s the same for angels too.”