Redeeming Jack (20 page)

She beckoned imperiously, and Cousin Louisa appeared by her side. “I need to speak to Robert. Go and find him.”

Jack touched Louisa’s arm as she attempted to brush past him. “Robert is not at the inn. I saw him depart as I entered.” Had Robert expected this summons? Was that why he’d run? “Please do not bother yourself with this matter. I’ll take it up with him when I next see him.”

“There must be some mistake,” murmured the duchess. “Your wife
cannot
be allowed to be right.” She brought her handkerchief to her mouth and started to cough.

Louisa ran from the room and returned, bearing a jug of water.

As his mother’s small frame was wracked by spasms, Jack poured a glass of water and knelt by her side. He wasn’t surprised to see scarlet stains on the linen handkerchief she removed from her lips.

He handed her the water, patting her back as she sipped it. Her cheeks were flagged a hectic red, her eyes full of resentment.

“Why did you come back, Jack?”

“Because Robert asked me to, and because I wanted to make amends for my long absence. When I walked out, I was so angry with Father that everyone else ceased to matter. I never thought of the pain I caused.”

He flinched as his mother’s hand glided over his hair. “You didn’t do this to me, Jack. I don’t need your guilt. I have quite enough of my own.”

“Perhaps we all need to suffer in order to understand the suffering we cause others.”

His mother snorted. “Poppycock. You’ll be spouting the Bible at me next, like your wife’s annoyingly cheerful brother. He seems to imagine it will bring me comfort.”

Jack took the hint and sat back in his chair. His mother was never at ease with lengthy shows of affection. All he could hope was that she’d understood his apology and that next time they met, things would be easier.

If there was a next time.

He rose to his feet, aware of exhaustion draining his mother’s face. He’d done his best to repair the damage and found out far more than he’d bargained for. “I must leave you now. If Father permits, I’ll come and visit you in Bath.”

His mother’s chin came up. “Don’t worry, he won’t be there. He’ll be in London, looking for a new wife.” She glanced up at Jack, who had gone still. “Apparently, he’s disappointed in his children and hopes to produce more.”

Jack grabbed his hat and gloves from the table. “And he told you this to your face?”

“To me, our immediate family and half the county present at our last dinner party. Your brothers were quite up in arms about it for a while.” The duchess wagged her finger at Jack. “Be very careful, my dear. Your father is determined to speak to you about something.”

“What would he want with me?” Jack shrugged. “I’ve already been disinherited.”

“That’s exactly my point. All the duke will tell me is that he intends to safeguard the succession.”

Jack searched his mother’s face for a long silent moment but found no clue as to her meaning. Finally, he bowed to Cousin Louisa and opened the door. “Ma’am, you can tell the duke from me that I have no interest in the succession.”

The duchess met his challenging gaze, a hint of malice in her own. “I’ll tell him nothing. You can’t expect to run away from him forever.”

Jack bowed. “How right you are, ma’am. In truth, I look forward to finally facing him on my own terms.”

“You won’t win.” The duchess sounded breathless, her hands clutched to her chest. “He likes to break people.”

“He’s already broken me once. But this time I have the advantage.” Jack smiled. “Thanks to him, I have nothing left to lose.”

JACK SAT BY the deserted bar in the shadowed taproom, staring at a full tankard of ale. A solitary fly woken too early by the deceptive winter sunshine banged itself against the closed window. Jack sampled the frothy head of his ale, desperate for something to do instead of grabbing the nearest brandy bottle and drinking himself into oblivion.

His mother was dying.

He’d done his best to repair the damage between them, but he feared it was too late. Despite her protests, he knew his desertion had made her life difficult. He’d often put himself in the way of his father’s wrath to safeguard her more delicate constitution. Without his protection, her nerves must have been strained to breaking point.

But when faced with his father’s wrath, had she ever supported him?

After handing his mother into her carriage, Jack had waited in vain for Robert to reappear. He had no idea whether his brother was supposed to accompany the duchess home. After a short wait, Cousin Louisa had decided to safeguard her employer’s health and continue onward to Llewelyn Hall.

Jack took another tentative sip of his ale, and the tang of fermented hops slid down his throat. It seemed that Robert was avoiding him, and no wonder.

Behind him, the heavy oak door of the taproom creaked open. Jack looked up, expecting Robert, and found Carys instead. Her color was high, her titian hair whipped to a frenzy of curls by the wind. Her serviceable dark blue gown was splashed with mud. Jack made no move to stand, although he found he was gripping the tankard with unnecessary force.

He railed silently against the Fates. Why did Carys have to appear when he was already bruised from his encounter with his mother?

Her hesitant smile died as she studied his averted profile.

He turned back to his ale. “What do you want, Carys? I thought you safe in Rhossili.”

She came slowly toward him until he smelled her flowery perfume mixed with the saltier tones of the sea. From the corner of his eye he saw her lick her dry lips, drawing his attention to their luscious fullness. “I wanted to speak to you.”

“So much so that you traveled half way across the Gower?” Her blue eyes held an unconscious plea for help he couldn’t ignore. “Does this have anything to do with your visit to my mother?”

Carys walked across to an oak settle beside the bow window that faced the street.

She untied the ribbons on her plain blue bonnet and took off her gloves. “Your mother told me that after you left, she placed a substantial sum of gold in your bank account for your use.”

Jack didn’t allow her to see his surprise at her frank admission. “Aye. I know. She told me this morning. Did you come to warn me?”

Carys sighed. “I was afraid she’d not discuss the issue with you just to spite me.”

“I believe it was difficult for her to admit that you might’ve been right for once.” He glanced briefly at his patched boots, feeling the dampness between his toes. “Did my mother tell you to whom she entrusted the money?”

Carys bit her lip. “She mentioned Robert.”

“It begs the question, of what Robert did with the gold, and why on earth he didn’t tell me about it? If I’d had that money, I wouldn’t be in the mess I am now. I wouldn’t have to sell my services to the highest bidder.”

Carys looked up. “Whatever do you mean?”

He opened his mouth to answer her and then thought better of it. To embroil her in his murky plots was not a good idea. Because of his dealings with Captain Fury, she was already in danger. Frustration boiled in his gut and he walked across the room to stand over her.

“Dammit, Carys,” he growled. “Why did you have to come and help me?”

He bent his head and kissed her. She responded, opening to him, offering herself to his need. His tongue slid between her lips and claimed her mouth. She stood on tiptoe to mold herself more fluidly against him and he grew hard against the soft press of her stomach.

“What’s wrong? Was your mother unkind to you?”

He tucked an errant curl behind her ear, his fingers clumsy. “She was…” he hesitated. “Unwell.”

She nodded and cupped his cheek. “But well enough to tell you about the money?”

“I don’t think she was lying. She said that being near death had made her more honest. What in God’s name was Robert
thinking
?”

“Perhaps he needed the money more than you did?”

Jack pulled away from the comfort of her touch. “Do you think I enjoy living hand to mouth, never knowing where my next meal is coming from or what in God’s name I have to do to earn it?” He walked away and then swung around, fists clenched. “Do you honestly believe I might have forgotten that I already squandered the money with the same dedication I’ve used to squander my
life
?”

Carys stared at him for a long, serious moment. “What have you had to do to earn your keep?”

“Things that would make your tender heart curl, my love. I’ve also learned about betrayal and death. I’m not the man you gave your love to Carys. I never will be again.”

“You were like the sun,” she whispered. “The golden child. Everyone admired you. Everyone wanted to please you. When you decided to fall in love with me, I felt as if a god had come down from the sky. I was dazzled.”

He slowly exhaled. “If you are saying that you fell in love with an ideal, I’d have to agree with you. You were too young to understand how proud and self-centered I was. I never gave you a chance to find out I had feet of clay. I was too terrified you’d turn me down. I thrived on your admiration and love like a strutting peacock.”

Carys walked over to him and took his hands in hers. “When you returned from Spain, I was proud of you for standing up to your father. You were prepared to risk
everything
to safeguard your reputation, even when lying would have saved you.”

“Even though I walked away from you as well?”

“In truth, it took me a long time to forgive you.” She squeezed his hands. “But I have grown up too. I’m not as naive as I used to be. I don’t expect to be the center of any man’s universe, or expect you to be perfect.”

“You deserve perfection. You are the most truthful and open person I’ve ever met.”

She shook her head. “I’m not like that anymore, either. I understand the grays that lie between the blacks and the whites. I can’t afford to let my emotions bleed as freely as my blood once did.”

“Perhaps we have both grown up,” Jack murmured. He was almost afraid to say anything else in case he destroyed their accord, but he had to warn her. “There is something I have to tell you.”

She went still. “What is it?”

“My father is up to something. I want you to take care of yourself and your family.”

“I know. When I went to see your mother, your father insisted on speaking to me too. He wants to see you, Jack,” Carys shivered. “The servants at Llewelyn Hall think he wants to be reconciled with you, but I am not so sure.”

“I’m not expecting to figure in a retelling of the parable of the prodigal son. I suspect his purposes are more sinister.” He placed his fingers under her chin and raised her face to meet his gaze. “Keep out of his way, Carys. He’ll use anybody and anything to accomplish his desires.”

With a small sound, she came up on tiptoe to kiss him. He opened his mouth, inviting her to share a more intimate kiss than she had perhaps intended. She leaned into him, trusting her slight weight against his larger frame.

She touched her tongue to his and his whole body shuddered. It took little to arouse him. She always had the ability to drive him wild. She opened her eyes to stare at his face and he met her gaze, refusing to hide his desire. Her long eyelashes swept down over her flushed cheeks and she shivered.

He tore his mouth away and kissed down her throat and shoulder. “I keep thinking about sinking my cock into you, of having you under me, your legs wrapped around my hips as I drive inside you.”

“Jack, I…” Carys struggled to free herself, her breathing as erratic as his. “This doesn’t help…this needing, this wanting. We need to sit down and
talk
.”

Jack nodded and sat down at the table. “I want to come to you freely and honestly, but I can’t do that until I finish my business for the duke.”

“Writing a medical dictionary in Welsh?” He winced at the skepticism in her voice. “I don’t believe that for a moment.” Carys reached for her bonnet and smoothed out the tangled ribbons. “Which duke are you working for, and why?”

“I can’t tell you.” He shoved his fingers through his hair. “I can only ask for your patience and understanding.”

“As if I haven’t been patient and understanding enough,” Carys snapped as she slapped the bonnet down on the table, making him jump. “Why is this ‘mission’ so important? What can a duke do to help our marriage?”

“More than you might think. He can help me recover my reputation.”

Carys snatched up her bonnet and gloves. She stomped over to the door and opened it, letting in a flurry of cold air. “Is that the most important thing to you, then? Recovering your
reputation
? Is it more important than your family and friends?”

Jack stared down at his hands. “It’s all I have left. You of all people should understand that.”

Carys put on her bonnet and tied the ribbons, her movements jerky. “That’s always been your problem, Jack. If you’d spent less time worrying about your precious reputation and a little more worrying about—about
us
, we wouldn’t be in this horrid situation.”

Jack resisted a familiar urge to howl. “I can’t deny what you have said. But I have to start rebuilding my life somewhere. I have the
ability
to restore my reputation. I don’t have the ability to rebuild all the relationships I so carelessly wasted by walking out.”

Carys took a step toward him. “You do if both parties are willing,” she said.

Jack couldn’t look at her. “I’m finally beginning to believe that. Richard and Gareth have been most understanding. Even my mother seems content to allow me to visit her in Bath.”

“Jack, that’s wonderful, but it’s not quite what I meant. I—”

“Let me deal with the duke first,” Jack cut her off. “Thank you for coming to warn me about Robert and my mother’s money.”

She shook her head. “There’s always a reason not to talk to me, isn’t there? Has it occurred to you that by the time you get around to it, I might no longer want to listen?”

He waited until the door slammed behind her, aware of opportunities not taken and an indefinable sense that he had somehow failed her. Was she right? Was he determined to repeat all his previous mistakes and lose her again? He couldn’t allow that.