Reclaiming Conversation (59 page)

human values and,
7
,
319
,
321
,
359

vulnerabilities and,
25
,
27
,
30
,
44
,
114
,
126
,
124
,
135
,
171
,
216
,
261
,
358
,
360
,
361

telecommuting,
269
,
270

teleconferences,
268

telephone calls,
see
phone calls and conversations

television,
111
–12,
115

terrorism,
300
,
311

September 11 attacks,
299
,
300

see also
catastrophe culture

texting and messaging,
4
,
11
-13,
19
–20,
21
-24 ,
42
,
139
,
140
,
141
,
144
–46,
152

apologies and,
32
–33

breakups and,
25
,
196
–97

in classrooms,
164
–65,
212
–14,
215
,
243

collaboration on,
189

as commitment,
160

consolation and,
155
,
156
,
172

documentation and, burden or advantage,
167
–68

editing and,
21
,
22
,
28
35
,
36
,
37
,
54
,
107
,
128
,
139
,
143
,
149
,
200
–201

emoticons and emojis in,
23
,
132
,
170
,
189
–90

family disagreements and,
105
,
127
–31,
169

preference for, over conversation,
22
,
26
–27

punctuation in,
132
–34,
181
,
189
,
190
,
200

responding to,
160
,
164
–65,
188
–89,
299
,
320

responding to phone calls with,
142
–43

romance and,
177
–79,
181
,
186
–94,
196
–202,
205

WhatsApp and,
35
–36,
37
,
191
–92

see also
phones

therapy,
8
,
129
,
131

cognitive behavioral,
94
,
95

crowdsourced,
347
–48,
351

psychoanalytic and psychodynamic,
79
–80,
81
,
89
,
90
,
95
,
96
–99,
348

thinking,
75
,
76
,
77
–78,
see
self-reflection

and time alone at work,
287
–88

daydreaming,
74
,
77
,
219
,
322
–23

mind wandering,
74
,
76
–77,
79
,
97

about past,
75

with Google Glass,
168
-170

privacy and,
67
,
85
–6,
301
,
301
–2,
309
–10

Thomas, Clarence,
303

Thoreau, Henry David,
51
,
62
,
175
,
326
,
333
,
337
,
338

three chairs of, see chairs

at Walden Pond,
9
–10,
309
,
317

three chairs,
see
chairs

Tillich, Paul,
65

time off, predictable (POT),
287

Tinder (app),
38
,
179
–80,
181
–82,
183
,
184
,
185

TOR,
312
,
313

toys:

dolls, traditional
343
–44

pets, virtual
352
,
356

smart, our vulnerability to,
351
–52

tracking and feedback devices,
89
,
90
–91,
93
–97,
99
,
306
,
see also
algorithmic (or quantified) self.

transactional language and exchanges,
197
,
248
,
319

transference, in the therapeutic context,
96

transgender adolescents,
112

transparency (as a property of programs),
191
,
328
,
330

trust,
8
,
35
,
107
,
113
,
126
,
135
,
163
,
166
,
180
,
272
,
276
,
284
,
288
,
289
,
347
,
356

Turing, Alan,
349
,
354

Tversky, Amos,
246

Twitter,
12
,
24
,
27
,
43
,
73
,
88
,
157
,
200
,
222
,
277
,
299
,
357

as classroom tool,
242
–43

as instrument of political change,
295
,
297

Udacity,
230
,
234

Uncle Tungsten
(Oliver Sacks),
211

unitasking,
216
,
221
,
225
,
256
,
258
,
260
,
261
,
321

University of California at Santa Cruz,
232

University of Southern California,
218

university students,
see
college students

UpToDate (app),
224

validation,
156
,
174
,
288

Verghese, Abraham,
282

videos, educational (online),
220
–21

Vimeo (video hosting site),
294

Vine (app),
139
,
152

virtuous circles,
10
,
11
,
61
,
68
,
317

Von Kleist, Heinrich,
37
,
39

voter turnout, social media and,
314

vulnerability,
24
,
25
,
27
,
44
,
109
,
124
,
171

to artificial intelligence,
341
–45,
348
-49,
358
-360

to distractions on devices, examples of,
216
–17,
260
–261

to feeling alone,
152
–53

self-reflection, as a cause of,
85

to technology,
216
,
261
,
361

Waber, Ben,
252
–53,
271
,
274
,
275

Walden Pond,
9
–10,
309

Watson, Sara,
308

weak and strong ties,
297
-98

web,
see
Internet

Weizenbaum, Joseph,
341

WhatsApp (app),
35
–36,
37
,
191
–92,
256

white space (free time),
266

Wilde, Oscar,
298

Williams, Rowan,
172

Williams College,
247

Winnicott, Donald W.,
71

Wired,
349

Wolf, Maryanne,
111
,
221

Woolworth's lunch counter sit-in,
298

work, workplace,
28
–29,
48
–49,
249
–89,
321

apologies, importance of,
15
,
32
–34,
267

best practices and,
261
,
272
, –76,
279
–80,
284
-88

bringing people “home to work,”
270
–72

cafeterias (and kitchens) at,
274
,
276
,
278
,
279

case studies of workplaces (pseudonyms),

Alan Johnson Miller and Associates (law firm),
249
–52,
255
,
261
,
288
,
289

Borning Associates (security firm),
289

Castell Advisors (venture capital firm),
275
–76,
285

HeartTech (software company),
255
–56,
276
–81,
286
,
323
–24

Radnor Partners (consulting company),
270
–272,
276

ReadyLearn (consulting company),
253
–55,
258
–61,
267
–68,
288

Seahorse Theater Company,
257
–58,

Stan Hammond Consultants (financial services),
266
–67,
274
,
276

Stoddard (design firm),
272
–74,
276
,
283

mentoring for conversation, example, at,
259
-260

designing for conversation, impact of culture on,
274
–81,
283
–88

developing leadership culture (for conversation) and,
271
–72

dispersal of workforce, impact on conversations at,
49
,
261
-62,
267
–69,
270

email at,
149
,
251
,
252
,
261
–62,
264
–67,
275
,
277
,
278
,
280
,
319
-20

entertaining clients and,
251
–52

face-to-face conversations (deliberate) at,
15
,
54
-55,
251
–53,
274
–276,
288
-89

“hiding” at,
286

hiring for conversational ability and,
46

at hospitals,
281
–83

hoteling and,
49
,
269

multitasking (example of perils) and,
260
-61

physical proximity, importance of, and,
262
-64,
271
,
273
–274,
274
–276

pilot in cockpit analogy (for associates in law firm),
28
–29,
249
,
266
,
287

predictable time off (PTO) and,
287

productivity,
250
–51,
252
–53,
258
,
261
,
264
,
271
,
276

sociability and productivity link at,
250
–51

solitude (through disconnection), importance of, and,
286
-88

stress, example leading to connection not conversation,
264
–65

unitasking at,
258
,
261
,
321

timing emails in the,
277
,
280

working from home,
49
,
253
–54,
269
,
271

work meetings,
15
,
54
–55,
240
,
249
–64,
275

appellate court justices and,
263
–64

breakfast as a path to presence,
272
–74,
283

Dropbox, effect of in one organization,
258

email miscommunications and,
266
,
267

inattention and multitasking at,
251
,
254
–55,
257
–58,
259
,
262

Hansel and Gretel experience and,
253
–57

meme tracks and,
255
–57

device free,
259
–60,
275
,
283
,
285

stand-up,
275

technology-based,
253
–54,
267
–69

and value of presence,
263
–64

Yahoo,
269

YouTube,
150
,
294

Zittrain, Jonathan,
314

Zuckerberg, Mark,
301
,
309

*
Holbrooke is a fictitious name. In this book I disguise the identities of all individuals I cite and of all institutions I visited–schools, universities, businesses. I use real names when I draw from the public record or cite words delivered in a public forum. For more on my method, see note
here
.

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