Projection (9 page)

Rob didn’t answer. He seemed distracted, as if he didn’t hear her. “Sorry. What?”

“I said, what did you want? You know, how come you knocked on the door?”

“Oh, right.” He seemed snapped back to reality. “I wanted to see if you wanted to play some Halo.” He moved his thumbs around, playing an invisible video game. “I can’t get through the next level without you.”

Gretchen swallowed. She’d never played Halo in her life, and Rob would totally know something was up if she tried. She faked a yawn.

“I don’t think so,” she said. “I’m super tired.”

Rob gave her a funny look. “Are you feeling okay? First you’re reading and now you’re turning down Halo? And you’re going to bed before midnight?” He put his hand on her forehead as if to feel for a fever. “Nope. You’re not warm.”

“I think it’s just all catching up with me. A girl needs to sleep sometimes, you know.”

“You seem to do plenty of it during the day, what with all of your sleeping till noon. I swear, sometimes I think you’re
a vampire. Maybe there’s a reason Gretchen told you to read that book.”

Gretchen pretended to laugh. “Maybe.” The conversation was getting more awkward by the minute. There was a silence, and she seized it. “Okay, so, good night.”

“Good night,” Rob said, giving her that same funny look as before. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” He walked out and shut the door behind him.

Gretchen exhaled.
Tomorrow
, she thought.
How am I going to do this all day tomorrow?
She glanced at the window. Jessica’s room was on the first floor of the house. She could easily sneak out right now. She could go home and switch back to herself tonight, and they could just forget the whole thing. But even as panic raced through her, she knew she couldn’t. Jessica had given her a chance to find out the truth. Besides, Jessica hadn’t panicked yet. Gretchen wouldn’t be the first to back down.

The sunlight streaming in
under the curtains was unfamiliar, too bright. Gretchen blinked and opened her eyes. The bed felt wrong, the mattress too hard, the sheets too heavy. For a few seconds, she had no idea where she was. She bolted upright. But then she glanced at the floor, covered with Jessica’s dirty clothes.

I’m Jessica until tonight
.

With a shaky sigh, Gretchen turned to the clock: 8
A.M.
, the same time she woke up every day. She’d wondered about that last night—about what would prevail, Jessica’s body or her own mind. After all, Jessica’s body was used to sleeping until noon. Gretchen’s mind was in control of some things, after all. She picked up the book from the nightstand and
pulled the covers over her head to read. Best to stay in bed as long as possible so as not to arouse suspicion from Michelle or Rob …

By 10
A.M.
Gretchen was certain she would pee in her pants. She crept out of bed and tiptoed into the bathroom (thank God it was private), leaving the door open so that nobody would hear it creak as it closed. But the second she sat down on the toilet, the door to Jessica’s room flung open.

“I thought I heard you,” Michelle said.

Instinctively, Gretchen crossed her legs and leaned forward in an attempt to conceal herself.

Michelle let out a derisive laugh. “What, you’re shy all of a sudden? You think I don’t know what you’ve got down there? Trust me, they’re all the same.”

Gretchen’s jaw dropped. Her own mother would never have spoken to her like that. Or walked in on her without knocking, for that matter.

“It’s Saturday,” Michelle said, not noticing Gretchen’s shock. “You have to take the trash cans to the curb, you have to do your laundry, and it’s your day to do the dishes.” She snorted with disgust as she turned back into the room. “And you have got to do something about this mess.” With two fingers, Michelle picked up a pair of jeans off the floor, inspected them, and then let them drop like garbage. She walked out, calling over her shoulder: “Clean it up this morning, or you’re not coming to the Club.”

Gretchen’s heart stopped. The Club.
Oh, my God
.

Delphi Hills Golf and
Country Club had been the epicenter of Delphi’s social scene since its founding, long before even Gretchen’s mom was born. Before she started going to sleep away camp, Gretchen had spent nearly every single day of
every summer there, taking tennis lessons, swimming lessons … preparing for the kind of life her parents had lived. But neither Gretchen nor her father had been to the Club once this summer. She wasn’t ready to socialize, wasn’t ready for the prospect of passing by her mom’s favorite pool chair and finding someone else lying there.

Of course it hadn’t occurred to her that Jessica had been going all summer long without her. Why hadn’t Jess warned her? She could just imagine her in a tiny bikini with her long tan legs, poring over trashy magazines, flirting with the boys, and cementing herself with the cool crowd before high school had even begun.

True, it wasn’t fair for her to feel betrayed by Jessica having a life without her, especially now that she knew the truth about the Oculus Society. But still, she couldn’t help herself. How far behind had she fallen by holing up in her room all summer long?

The instructions Jessica had given her last night in the teepee floated to the top of her memory:
Try to lay low. Try not to go out a lot
.

Gretchen shook her head. She began picking up the clothes off of Jessica’s floor. By the time she made the bed and finished with the chores that Michelle had given her, it was almost lunch time. She rifled through Jessica’s drawers and found a modest, one-piece bathing suit and put it on. It was a bathing suit meant for swimming laps, and she turned around in front of the mirror, examining Jessica’s body in it from all angles. Nothing sexy or revealing: it was perfect.

Rob knocked just as Gretchen was throwing on a cover up and stuffing a towel into a beach bag.

“You ready?” he asked, peeking his head in from behind the door. He scanned the floor. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve seen
this carpet in three years.”

Gretchen shrugged. “Michelle told me I had to clean it up.”

Rob raised his eyebrows. “She tells you that every weekend. It never motivated you before.” He paused to study her. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You just don’t seem like yourself.”

Gretchen gathered Jessica’s hair and put it into a ponytail. She turned toward the mirror so she wouldn’t have to look Rob in the eye. “I’m fine. I’m just, you know, I’m starting high school in a few weeks. It’s time for me to grow up.”

Rob smirked. “Wow. Look at you, all Miss Maturity. Next you’re going to be telling me you want to start spending more time with Michelle.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Gretchen muttered before she could catch herself. She turned from the mirror, but Rob was smiling.

“Good.” He lowered his voice. “And by the way, Mommy Dearest is in a mood today in case you haven’t already noticed. So steer clear.”

“Will do. Thanks for the heads up.”

Gretchen picked up the bag with Jessica’s stuff in it and walked past Rob in the doorway. “Hey,” he said, reaching out and grabbing her by the arm. His face was close. He looked her right in the eye. “I need you on my side, kid.”

On your side for what?
Gretchen wondered. She suddenly felt uncomfortable. It occurred to Gretchen that even though she and Jessica were best friends, even though they thought they knew everything about each other, they couldn’t possibly scratch some very important surfaces. Knowing that a person’s favorite candy is Butterfingers isn’t the same as knowing how they act with a person they see every day. Particularly a parent figure. There was so much Jessica didn’t know about
Gretchen and her dad: that they only talked about safe topics, like the weather, or that they both pretended to be just fine even though neither of them were. Gretchen felt panic rise up in her, as if it were taking an elevator from her feet to the top of her head. Secrets were dangerous now; one slip and this whole thing could be blown.

“I know,” Gretchen lied. Rob searched her face again, and Gretchen could tell that he still wasn’t one hundred percent convinced by her acting.

“Okay,” he finally said, dropping her arm. “Come on, then, let’s go. We don’t want keep the queen waiting.”

Gretchen made a point
of staying as far away as possible from the chair where her mother used to sit poolside. She stole a glance, remembering Octavia Harris stretched out under an umbrella—her dark, Mediterranean skin set off by her white bikini. Now the chair was occupied by a heavy-set woman Gretchen didn’t recognize, with two young children snacking on Goldfish, spewing crumbs all over their towels.

Then she saw The Sirens.

It’s how she always thought of Molly Carson, Katie Elliott, and Lily Ranger: three girls who weren’t quite what she and Jessica were, but wanted to be. They were part of the Oculus Society through their moms, but of course more demi-goddess than goddess, with the same jealousies and temptations.

Molly spotted her and waved her over. Gretchen took a deep breath and started toward them, reminding herself to be as Jessica-like as possible. They sprawled out on lounge chairs in bikinis, their skin glistening with tanning oil.

“Hey, Jess,” Molly said, pulling up her legs and patting the end of the chair. “You can share with me.”

“Thanks,” Gretchen replied. She spread a towel and sat
down, Indian style. The girls snickered.

“What’s with the Speedo?” Lily asked.

Gretchen rolled her eyes the way Jessica would. “It was all I could find this morning. My aunt is, like, on a cleaning binge, and she made me put everything that was on my floor in the wash. And of course all of my bikinis were on the floor.”

“She’s such a bitch,” said Katie. “I don’t know how you deal with her.”

“Thank God for Rob,” Molly added. “You’d be
so
screwed without him.”

Lily leaned in toward her and lowered her voice. “My brother said he bought beer for a bunch of his friends last weekend.”

Gretchen nodded. “Yeah, he’s cool like that—”

“Psst,” Katie interrupted. “Nick Ford, twelve o’clock.”

By the time Gretchen had spun around in her chair, Nick was already approaching them. Her stomach dropped to her feet. He was tan, dripping from the pool, his long dark hair plastered to his head. He’d grown taller over the short and terrible summer. His body had filled out a bit, too. He looked amazing. Gretchen tried not to blush.

“Hey, Jess,” he said, grinning at her. “I see you’ve changed your look.”

Gretchen blinked. “You know, I like to mix things up every now and then. It keeps people on their toes.”

Nick laughed. The Sirens giggled. “That’s a racing suit, right?” he asked. You wanna race?”

Gretchen hesitated. She was a strong swimmer, but she hadn’t been in a pool since last summer, and she had no idea what kind of a swimming shape Jessica was in.

The Sirens started chanting. “Race, race, race, race!”

Molly practically pushed Gretchen off the end of the chair. “What the hell?” Gretchen said, with her most Jessica-like nonchalance.

“I’ll give you a ten-second head start,” Nick yelled before diving into the deep end.

Gretchen jumped in behind him. The hairs on her arms stood up when they hit the cold water.
Am I having fun?
She wasn’t even sure. But for a split-second, she forgot almost everything except the tingle she felt. It wasn’t bad. She lined up next to Nick along the back wall, wiping the water from her eyes.

The Sirens appeared at the side of the pool. Molly stared at the second hand on her watch. “And, go!” she called out.

Gretchen pushed off. She could feel Nick gaining on her, so she swam as hard and as fast as she could. She heard the girls calling her name above the water just as Nick came up beside her. When she touched the wall and opened her eyes, Nick was already there.

“You were so close!” Lily shouted. “He only beat you by half a second!”

“I’m impressed,” Nick said to her. “Considering that’s the first time you’ve gotten in the pool the whole summer.”

Gretchen blinked at him, shivering and wet, her eyes stinging. She panicked. What did he mean? Did he know it was really her? How?

“What?” she asked, nervously.

“Oh, come on. You always just sit there and read magazines and talk. I haven’t seen you get in the water once. Any of you, for that matter. You’re all too worried about messing up your hair.”

“Oh,” Gretchen said. “Well, I’m in the water now.”

He smiled. “There you go, Jess, mixing things up again.”

Gretchen laughed, but then caught herself.
What am I doing? I don’t want Nick flirting with Jessica. I want Nick flirting with me
. The ugly bathing suit idea had totally backfired. And besides, she didn’t have time to waste with Nick. She only had a few more hours left as Jessica; she needed to get to work.

“I’ve got to go,” she said, abruptly pushing herself out of the water. “I’ll see you later.”

Gretchen left him standing in the pool and hurried, soaked and hunched, to the cabana to get a towel. No way would she use the one she’d brought. That would mean socializing. A girl with shoulder-length hair in a club uniform was inside, folding towels with her back to the pool.

“Um, excuse me,” Gretchen said politely. “Could I have a towel please?”

The girl turned. Gretchen’s heart stopped. It was Ariel Miller.

“What are you doing here?” Gretchen asked.

Ariel glared at her, blue eyes frigid.

“Ha ha ha, you’re so hilarious,” she said, throwing a towel at her. “Like you and your loser friends haven’t been pretending not to see me all summer. I’m shocked that you would even acknowledge that you know who I am.”

Suddenly, Gretchen was self-conscious about her dripping hair and her ugly bathing suit. Jessica had never mentioned that Ariel was working at the Club this summer. But she quickly calculated the opportunity; if she made things right with Ariel now, while she was Jessica, she wouldn’t have to apologize later. “Listen,” she said, collecting herself. “About last night, at the park …”