Peggy Holloway - Judith McCain 01 - Blood on White Wicker (22 page)

“I’ll be there” I said without hesitation. I jumped up and got into the shower. When I got out, I dried off and blew my hair dry, threw on a pair of jeans and a baby blue sweatshirt, didn’t bother with makeup, and went into the kitchen.

Mimi handed me a cup of coffee. I looked at the clock. It was just ten o’clock and I thought I was making good time. When I glanced over at Mimi, I became alarmed. She looked like she hadn’t slept in months.

“Mimi, are you all right?”

“I hardly slept last night. I kept thinking about Mark. I can forgive Phillip for sleeping with that woman. He was only human and made that one mistake. I really don’t believe he ever screwed up like that again. He was a good husband, and a good man. And I believed he paid for that mistake over and over every time he looked at Mark. I used to think it was wonderful how he would do things for Mark, like when he paid his tuition at college.

“The person I feel bad about is Mark. Knowing that Phillip was his dad and not being able to acknowledge it. I always admired Mark, but now that I know all this, I can’t help but love him like he was my own. I’m going to see that he gets his inheritance. His mother must have been secretly resenting us for years to do what she did. I’ll never forgive her. Mark deserves so much better.”

“I’m so sorry, Mimi. I wish I had time to stay here with you but I just agreed to go to group therapy and it starts at ten thirty.”

She glanced at the clock, “Oh, then you’d better go. You want to have lunch here at the cafeteria or do you want to find some local cuisine? We have a car now so we’re not stuck here.”

“You decide, Mimi. I gotta go.”

I kissed her cheek and headed over to the hospital. The group setting was like a living room. There were sofas and love seats and easy chairs. There was a fireplace but no fire in it. I could imagine how pleasant it would be later when it was cold enough for a fire, but hoped we would be out of there before then.

 
I sat down on a loveseat next to Julia. She smiled and squeezed my hand. When Dr. Anna came in, she sat in the recliner and pushed it almost all the way back.

She wrote down the names of everyone there in a little notebook and put it aside.

“Hi group. Since we have new people, why don’t we go around and each of you give your name and tell why you’re here and anything else about yourself you want to share.”

She motioned to the girl on her right. The girl was very thin with short dull brown hair cut in a bob.

“My name’s Abbey. I’m here for cocaine abuse. I’ve been here for two months and feel like I have already kicked my habit but Dr. Anna says I have other real issues to deal with and that using the cocaine was just a symptom. I thought I used because it was fun, but what do I know?”

“My name’s Charlene,” said an overweight girl with fuzzy natural blond hair. “I’m an Incest survivor. I’ve been here for three months and thought I was working really hard, but Dr. Anna told me at the last group that I was just now starting to deal with my issues.”

“I’m Frank. I don’t have any issues. I’ve been here two days.”

“I’m Judith. I’m here to observe.”

“I’m Julia and I’m here to observe too.”

“I’m Harry. I’m here under court order for anger issues. I wanted to do anger management, but Dr. Anna said that my anger was a symptom and learning to manage it wasn’t enough.”

 
Dr. Anna looked around the room and smiled. “I detect a little resentment towards me in here this morning. Anyone want to talk about it?”

Charlene spoke up, “I resent the fact that yesterday you told me that I’ve just now started dealing with my incest, when I’ve been working my butt off.”

“I’m so proud of you, Charlene,” Dr. Anna said. “You would have never stood up to anyone in authority when you came here three months ago. Now listen to you. You’re being so real. You’re mad at me and you’re letting me know it.

“Let me make one thing clear. When I said that you have just started dealing with the incest, I wasn’t discounting all the other progress you’ve made.

“All of the other work you’ve done has laid the groundwork for you to now deal with the heavy issues on an emotional level. Does that make sense to you?”

Charlene was nodding and beaming and I thought what a wonderful therapist Dr. Anna was. She handled things in such a non-threatening manner.

“Are there any questions or comments from the rest of the group concerning Charlene?”

Julia raised her hand like she was in school.

“You don’t have to raise your hand in here,” Abby said. “Just speak up.”

“I wanted to ask Charlene a question. When you say incest, what, exactly are you referring to?”

“My father had sex with me starting when I was eight until I started getting fat at age fourteen.”

“He must have loved you very much. That’s the most loving thing a father can do with his daughter.”

At first, no one said anything. I think the whole group was shocked and Julia looked confused at everyone’s reaction.

Then, Dr. Anna asked, “Who told you that Julia?”

I didn’t think she was going to answer at first and she looked around at the group members like she had committed a social faux pas. I really don’t think she realized what effect her statement had on the group.

Then she actually laughed and said, “Why my father, of course.”

“And did he love you very much?” Dr. Anna asked.

Julia smiled a secret sort of smile and said, “My father loved me more than any man could ever love his little girl.”

I felt like throwing up.

The group erupted. Everyone was shouting and cursing Julia’s father and Harry took a chair and threw it up against the wall,

“What the fuck are you saying girl? Are you saying that your father had sex with you? If anyone ever did that to my little girl I’d kill the son-of-a-bitch.”

Just then a huge man that looked like Max the bouncer at Kit Katz came in and grabbed Harry and sat him in his chair.

“You need me to stay doc?” the man asked.

“Yes, please James, just for a little while,” Mimi said.

By then I think Harry had shocked everyone into silence. Julia looked scared to death.

“Charlene, you want to try to explain to Julia why everyone had such a strong reaction to what she said?” Dr. Anna said.

“Oh wow, this is so heavy that I don’t know what to say. Your father had sex with you and, at the same time, convinced you that it was because he loved you? Oh, honey.

“He used you to satisfy his filthy lust and didn’t even take responsibility for his behavior. He should be in jail. He should get life. And did he do the same thing to your twin sister?” she asked, looking at me.

Julia actually laughed, “Oh she’s not my twin sister.”

Everyone just sat there staring at us like they didn’t know what was going on then Frank looked at me and asked, “Are you saying that you’re not her twin sister?”

I looked at Dr. Anna and she gave a slight nod. Then I understood the purpose of group. All the barriers were down. You didn’t have to walk on egg shells or pretend. You could be totally honest and the group would support you.

“She’s my twin sister,” I said.

I was afraid to say anymore, but Dr. Anna motioned for me to continue.

“We were kidnapped when we were three years old and only recently found each other. I was raised in foster homes and Julia was adopted.” At this point, Dr. Anna drew her hand across her throat signaling for me to stop there.

Julia sat there with her head down, shaking her head, “My parents didn’t lie to me. They said I wasn’t adopted. When I asked my dad why we looked alike, Vicky, he said it was coincidence.”

Harry snorted, “Is this, the same man who convinced you that having sex with you was a loving thing?” Then he asked me, “Why is she calling you Vicky? I thought your name was Judith?”

“I just recently found out that my real name is Judith. The kidnappers or one of my foster parents renamed me.”

“I think we need to give Julia time to process all this. I’d like to concentrate on someone else now. Harry, tell the group why you got so angry about Julia’s incest issue.”

“Well, doc, you know I have a ten year old daughter. Just thinking about someone touching her in that way makes me want to kill.”

“Your anger is justified. I want you to know that. The way you handle it can get dangerous as you know. During the round robin, you said that you want to just do anger management and you sounded so resentful towards me that I wanted you to get to your real issues.

“You have been doing anger management that’s offered here at the hospital and they tell me you are doing a great job, but today is an example of what I’ve been trying to get across. Today you heard about something that hit near to your heart and there was no thinking about anger management techniques. You didn’t stop to think at all.

“I’m not trying to criticize you, but I just wanted to point out that all the techniques in the world can’t help when someone hits a nerve. Are you beginning to see what I was talking about?”

“Yeah, I do, doc. It’s kind of exciting to have some of this insight you talked about.” The group laughed.

“Okay, now this brings us to Abbey. This is the same issue with you and the cocaine use as with Harry and his anger. We all develop things that we actually do to avoid the real issues until we learn to deal with these issues. Now with Frank, he just shuts down all his emotions and claims he doesn’t feel anything.”

She looked at her watch. “It looks like we’re out of time unless someone has something else. I’ll see some of you later for individual therapy and the rest I’ll see tomorrow.”

As we were leaving the group room, Julia asked if she could talk to me in her room. Dr. Anna heard her and said she had planned on seeing her for individual right now.

CHAPTER 20

Mimi looked much better when I got back to the bungalow.

“How did it go?” she asked.

“Oh, Mimi, that was the hardest thing I ever did, and Dr. Anna said it would only get worse before Julia and I started to heal. I can’t talk about who I saw in group or what they talked about, but this was what both Julia and I needed. I’m afraid she’s got some rougher times ahead of her than I do. Mr. Reynolds not only had sex with her since she was ten, but he has her convinced that it was the most loving thing a father can do for a child.”

Mimi had been sitting there with her mouth open. “I’ve never heard of anything so sick in my life. I want to kill him. Poor Julia, she must be devastated now that she knows that’s not normal.”

“Actually, she’s more confused at the reaction from the rest of the group than anything else. They were outraged. Also, I talked about the fact that we’re twin sisters and that we were kidnapped when we were three. Julia asked me to go to her room with her when we got out of group, but Dr. Anna said that she wanted to have an individual session with her.

“I’ve been living with the truth of this for some time now, and I’ve had the support of Jesse, then Rosa, and now you. The very people that Julia has counted on for support are the ones who screwed up her life. I feel so bad for her.

“The way I understand it, from what I heard from the rest of the group, some who have been here for months, by the way, it takes a while to start dealing with anything at a deep enough level where you start healing. Anyway, I think this group is going to help both of us so much.”

“I sure hope so, honey. Hmm…I’m thinking that if this therapy is going to last for several months, then maybe we should think about all of us going back to Houston and getting Julia into a hospital back there.”