Only You (24 page)

Whoa
. He was going too far, too fast. First, he had to take the fertility test. He wasn’t going to make the same mistakes he’d made with Donnie. But if Blueberry was his child, well, that brought on a whole host of other problems, didn’t it. Could he be trusted to be a better father to Blueberry than he was to Donnie?

For the first time JD could remember, his house felt welcoming when he walked in five days later. A lemony scent lingered in the air, and when he checked out the refrigerator, he discovered Lucy had cooked meatloaf for supper, his all-time favorite comfort food. Lucy had the uncanny ability to anticipate what he wanted or needed to eat.

He jogged upstairs, shed his clothes and stood in the hot shower for a good fifteen minutes. He’d spent the last hour in the barn helping Dave with the chores, and needed to wash away the smell, but he also felt bruised inside and out and welcomed the comfort of hot water cascading down his body.

Earlier that day, his doctor had phoned with the results of his sperm test.

He was fertile
.

He was a father
. Or would be. The knowledge filled him up until he couldn’t think. He’d barely been able to thank the doctor for her time before stumbling out to his truck. He’d been halfway home before he formed a coherent thought.

And then all he could think about was Maggie. How beautiful she was. How she lived life, holding nothing back. How much everyone loved her. And no wonder; she was kind and generous and loving.

He didn’t deserve her. He needed to figure out what he was going to do. He had to think of Maggie and Blueberry before anything else. Could he be honest enough, strong enough, to let them go if he decided they’d be better off without him?

When he was finished showering, he went to his office, checked his messages on his business line, and finally, when he’d run out of distractions, he picked up the box of framed photos he’d left half-unpacked.

He let the sadness wash over him as he gazed at the top picture. Donnie’s first Christmas. He’d been six months old and had no concept of what Christmas was, but in the photo he grinned as if he were the happiest kid in the world. JD blinked. And he had been. Donnie had rarely cried.

JD hadn’t allowed himself to think much about Lydia the last few years, but she’d been a good mom. And, he supposed, in many ways, he’d been a good father. It had worked well that he and Lydia separated when Donnie was a baby. He didn’t know a different way to live, and they’d avoided the disagreements and arguments most couples had to go through before they conceded defeat.

He put the photo on the desk and pulled out another picture. Donnie’s second Christmas. JD laughed, remembering that Donnie hadn’t yet figured out that the brightly colored boxes under the tree had toys inside for him.

Hell.
He put the picture facedown on his desk and covered his face. There’d been so much love, on his part and on Donnie’s and Lydia’s. He didn’t know if he could open himself up like that again. But if he didn’t, he’d lose out on so much. And he couldn’t stand the thought of letting Maggie down. He wanted to be with her. It would drive him crazy not to share his life with Maggie and their child. Not to be there to take care of them.

He stood, picked up the picture of Donnie’s second Christmas and put it on the shelf beside the others. He’d work the rest of his life to try to redeem himself for his carelessness that had cost Donnie his life. It was his debt to his son.

He called Ethan, found out their mother’s engagement ring was tucked away in the not-so-secret desk drawer at the ranch, called Ellie and asked if she had time to pick a bouquet of flowers for him from her garden, changed his faded jeans for a new pair of black chinos and a crisp blue shirt, grabbed the meatloaf and a couple of candles and went out to the truck, feeling as though he was starting on the journey of his life.

His stomach slipped around like a fish out of water. What if he was too late? What if Maggie wouldn’t marry him? Not that she’d ever said she wanted to get married.

He braked in the middle of the road. Matter of fact, she’d made it clear she didn’t need him for anything. But they were so good together. That had to count for something. And he loved her. Hadn’t he told her that? Man, he was such an idiot.

A car honked its horn behind him, and he stomped on the gas, suddenly in the biggest hurry of his life. He had to find Maggie and tell her he loved her.

Fifteen minutes later, he parked across the street from Maggie’s house, his truck filled with the scent of roses. Ellie had done a great job of putting together a bouquet. She’d kissed him on the cheek and told him it was about frigging time—her words. Had everyone but him known he was in love with Maggie Kennedy?

He glanced in the rearview mirror and ran his fingers through his hair, which he’d forgotten to brush after his shower.
Okay.
He took a deep breath and got out of his truck, his arms filled with flowers and meatloaf, the ring in his pocket, his stomach performing impossible acrobatic feats.

Halfway across the street, he noticed the black limousine parked in Maggie’s driveway. He almost dropped the flowers, but made a last-minute save. What was going on? Jesse better still be inside. Had Ethan hired a limo to drive him and the girls home from the airport? They’d just talked on the phone. He’d have told JD they were on their way.

He heard voices coming through the open window as he tried the front door. Locked. Good. He rapped his knuckles against the solid wood, and Jesse opened it for him. JD took a minute to study Jesse’s sorrowful expression. The earth moved beneath his feet as Jesse looked at the flowers and shook his head.

“It’s her father,” he said in a funereal voice. “He’s here.”

JD’s stomach rolled over with a sick thud. “Mr. Kennedy?”

“Her real father. Jackass,” he murmured under his breath and pulled JD into the house.

“You think I’m making a mistake?” Crap, he hated feeling like a target on the range.

“Not you. Her father. Wait till you see who it is.”

“JD!” Maggie pushed past Jesse and fell into JD’s arms.

JD snapped his arms around her and pulled her into him. “Hey, baby. What’s going on?”

“My father’s here.” Her eyes looked overly bright, and the news practically bubbled out of her mouth. Stress, even from being excited, probably wasn’t good for Blueberry or Maggie. “Come meet him. You’re going to be so surprised.”

She tugged him into the living room. Darren Gould, JD’s personal movie star hero, sat in an armchair, his legs crossed, his arms draped over the chair, looking as if he were holding court.

JD kept his arm around Maggie’s shoulders as he took in the dismissive look on the man’s face, the hundred-dollar bouquet of orchids in a vase on the mantelpiece and the dress box on the sofa with Chanel written discreetly on the side. He looked at his homegrown garden bouquet that now appeared ragged and small.

“This is my father, Darren Gould. Can you believe it? We’ve been getting to know each other. He told me all about how he rescued me after I was born, and how he found the Kennedys to adopt me. He grew up beside Les Kennedy, my other father. My adopted father.”

She dragged him across the room to stand in front of Darren Gould. “This is JD,” she said to her father. “He’s my friend.”

JD tried not to flinch at her description as he dutifully held out his hand to receive a limp handshake from the movie star legend. He was a helluva lot more than a friend to Maggie, and he wanted the world to know it.

“Are those for me?” Maggie took the flowers from him. “Thank you. They smell wonderful. Did you see the flowers my father brought? Aren’t they gorgeous?”

“They are,” JD agreed.

“Maggie tells me you help out on your brother’s ranch. That’s nice.” Gould smiled, making the words
that’s nice
sound like
dipshit
.

“Oh, but he’s also—”

“Doesn’t matter, Maggie,” JD interrupted her. Let the asshole think what he liked. Surely Maggie could see that her father was full of hot air.

A woman he didn’t know entered through the side door and strolled into the living room. She had the breezy, shiny look of a well-kept woman. Nothing wrong with that, except JD knew it cost a fortune. Lydia had gone for that look.

The woman checked her tablet computer. “We’ll do the first interview in a half hour, if you’re ready?” She gave a wintry smile to Maggie and ignored JD and Jesse, who had retreated to the kitchen doorway, probably hoping to make a quick getaway.

“They’re going to interview me,” Maggie said to JD. “I should get changed. What’s that you’re holding on to?”

JD felt his neck heat up as he tried and failed to tug the dish of meatloaf away from her. He was such an idiot, bringing meatloaf to the woman he planned to propose to. What the hell had he been thinking?

“Meatloaf?” Maggie giggled. “Oh, JD. That’s so sweet. But Darren is going to take me out to dinner.” She swirled toward her father. “JD can come, too, can’t he?”

Before Gould could respond, JD grabbed Maggie’s elbow and pulled her toward the stairs. “I need to talk to you. Alone,” he added.

“Don’t be long.” Gould’s rich baritone followed them up the stairs.

“Isn’t it weird?” Maggie whispered as he escorted her to her bedroom. “Darren Gould is my father. I can’t believe it.”

“Neither can I. Why has he turned up now after all these years?” Christ, he was whining. But come on,
today,
of all days
,
he had to show up?

Maggie’s normally expressive face went carefully blank. “Because he wanted to meet me. He needs me.”

“Did he say why he needs you now?”

“I thought you’d be excited for me. Look, this isn’t exactly easy. I’ve dreamed of meeting my parents all my life.” She smiled sadly. “It would have been nice if he hadn’t arrived with his agent and a bunch of reporters. But he’s still my father, JD.”

“I’m trying to understand what he wants and why he had detectives check you out first.”

She looked uncertain. “Darren Gould is an important man. He can’t take chances.”

He studied her face. It hurt to see traces of the little girl she’d once been who’d never received enough love. If it took the rest of his life, he’d try to fill that gap. “Well, you’re important to me, and I don’t like to see
you
taking chances.”

“Surely you don’t still think he’s dangerous?”

“No.” JD guided her over to the bed and set her on the edge. He knelt in front of her. “I have a few things to say, Maggie. I need you to listen.”

“Okay.”

He took her hands in his. “First, I love you. I don’t care who your parents are. I love you, Maggie Kennedy. Got that?”

She nodded.

“Second, I want us to have this baby together. Here, in this town. I want Blueberry to grow up knowing who her parents are and that we both love her.”

A tear trickled down her cheek. “That’s so beautiful, JD. I haven’t told Darren I’m pregnant. Do you think he’ll be upset?”

JD leaned forward and brushed her tear away with his thumb, when what he wanted to do was put his fist through the wall. He understood how important meeting her father was to Maggie, but did he have to show up right this minute? “I understand knowing your real parents’ identity is a big deal for you, and whatever you want me to do to help, I will. But I don’t like that he’s holding a press conference about your reunion already.”

She pulled her hands out of his grasp. “I’m excited, but I’m not naive. I get that he’s turning this into a photo op for himself. And I don’t care. He’s my father. I just want to spend a bit of time with him.”

A chill ran down his spine. “What does that mean?”

She looked away. “He wants me to go to LA with him for a couple weeks.”

JD shot to his feet. “No.”

Maggie stood, too. “Excuse me? Last time I checked I was perfectly capable of making my own decisions.”

“Of course you are. It’s just . . . I have a bad feeling about this. I don’t trust that man.”

“You don’t even know him! And you don’t have to trust him. This has nothing to do with you.”

“Anything that happens to you concerns me.”

Maggie grew still. “Because I’m pregnant.”

“That’s only part of it. I love you.”

Her face closed up. “Your GP finally called, didn’t he? You’re fertile.”

“She,” he corrected. “And yes, but that has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”

“It has everything to do with your feelings. I needed you to believe me when I told you that there was no one else, but you couldn’t, could you?”

“I loved you from the minute I met you.” He looked away from the sadness in her eyes. They shouldn’t be having this conversation right now. He was ruining her happiness at meeting her father.

“Why didn’t you tell me that before you heard from the doctor?”

“I was afraid. But I’m not now, and it’s because of you. You made me want to start living my life again. With you at my side, I can be a good father to Blueberry. I want to marry you. I want us to have a long and happy life together, and I’m sorry everything is happening at the same time, but we belong together, and you know that, too. Tell me you know that,” he insisted.

His heart clenched as tears flooded her eyes. “I honestly don’t have the answer to your question right now,” she whispered. “I need time to think about us. My father is waiting for me. When I come back, maybe we can talk more, but right now, I want you to leave.”

He couldn’t find his voice for a minute. Was she afraid he’d blow it for her with her father or was she afraid of committing herself to him? Taking a step back went against everything he knew to be right, but Maggie had a point. He should have trusted his feelings for her. But he hadn’t, and he needed to let her go—for now. He nodded. “You know where to find me if you need me.”

He blindly strode out of the house.

Reporters, who hadn’t been there when he arrived, converged on him and peppered him with inane questions. What he thought about Darren Gould was not fit to put into print or to air on television. JD climbed into his truck and slammed the door shut, finally taking in the number of news vans and reporters lining the street. Gould’s team had done a bang-up job of summoning the press. He hated every last one of them.