Off Limits (16 page)

Chapter Fourteen

“Did you not go
home last night?” Phoebe accused when Luke sauntered across the car park
towards us the next morning. The stain he’d gotten on his uniform yesterday was
still there. We’d woken up late and Luke had been forced to awkwardly sit at
the breakfast table with me and my mother when I’d failed to sneak him out
effectively.

I knew I’d be
getting a stern talking to when I got home tonight, but when I explained
Phoebe’s pregnancy she’d understand. I’d thought I’d be having the conversation
where I explained that Luke and I were together and she wouldn’t be seeing
Phoebe anymore, but everything had taken a very sharp turn for the worse.

As it stood,
Phoebe hadn’t mentioned her condition yet and we’d been stood chatting for a
solid ten minutes. After she’d told me she could move past the issue with Luke’s
dad, she’d launched into mindless conversation about drama from the party I
didn’t care about. Apparently plenty of people had hooked up that she hadn’t
been expecting to.

“My washing
machine is broken,” Luke explained with a shrug. “Got to keep wearing the dirty
blouse for the rest of the week.

“Oh, you can come
round and use mine if you want! I’m sure my parents won’t mind.” Phoebe had
gone to take her place beside Luke immediately with a wide smile, taking his
hand in hers and lacing their fingers together. “Anyway, Carmen, we’re all
skipping first period because there’s something I, we, need to tell you.”

I really hadn’t
expected it to be that quick, but I supposed there was no need to wait around
to tell me. So, just like Luke and I had the day after our first kiss, we
traipsed over to the café opposite the school car park.

I went for a
chocolate milkshake and Luke ordered a coffee. I noted with a quirked eyebrow
that the elderly lady had jotted down our orders before we’d spoken. Phoebe
went for a hot chocolate, having to be in the middle like always.

Phoebe took Luke’s
hand in hers the moment we’d sat down and didn’t let go. Her smile didn’t let
up, either, and Luke was really struggling to keep his lips curved upwards. His
eyes looked dead. Telling me about this again was probably the last thing he
wanted to happen.

I’d already made
the decision that when it came to leaving for uni I wouldn’t be talking to
Phoebe ever again. I couldn’t be around Luke without caring for him and I
couldn’t be around Phoebe without feeling horribly guilty.

It was only a few
months until summer came.

Phoebe waited
until the drinks came before she let me know what all this was about. She
forced Luke to meet her gaze and obviously saw what she thought was a
supportive look shining back at her. “Carmen,” she took a deep breath and
cursed when her fingertips touched the hot clay of the mug. After a short
laugh, she blurted it out. “I’m pregnant!”

I did my best
attempt at a shocked reaction. I’d been expecting to have longer to practise
not knowing about her pregnancy before I was supposed to be surprised by it. My
eyebrows shot up and I forced a smile. “Congratulations!”

“You knew,” she
accused immediately, turning her accusatory case onto Luke. “You told her.”

Luke shrugged and
tried to keep his gaze on Phoebe. “I had to tell someone. It was big news, I
wasn’t ready for it.”

“And you told
Carmen?”

I was the one to
shrug this time. “You were the one who said you wanted us to be friends.”

Phoebe chuckled.
“True, that. I am glad you’re closer, even if I
did
want to be the one
to tell you about this. I know it’s unexpected and I know it’s going to be
difficult, but it’s a good thing. I know it is.”

Luke smiled and
nodded, his movements robotic. “I know. I just… I just need time to get my head
around it.”

“I know. So do I,”
Phoebe assured him. I felt wrong observing this conversation. I desperately
didn’t want anything to do with this entire thing. I wanted to run for the
hills and try and forget Luke. He was officially out of bounds forever and I
was scared I’d never get over him. “But we can work things out. It will all be
fantastic.”

I sucked on the
straw in my milkshake and desperately avoided looking at Luke. I didn’t want to
set him off. I knew that meeting his gaze now would send my own misery
sky-rocketing and I didn’t have half as many things to be sad about as he did.

“Oh!” Phoebe
exclaimed, reaching into her bag and almost knocking the hot chocolate over.
“And I have your tickets for the Scarborough performance. They came through
yesterday. It’ll probably be the last show I do, considering, so I’m so glad
you’re both going to be there.”

I forced out a
smile and accepted the ticket she passed me. “That’s cool. Have you sorted out
hotel rooms yet?”

Phoebe, if
possible, smiled wider. Her cheeks were going to be very painful by the end of
this meeting. “My parents are paying for all of the rooms,” she told us both
with stern looks. “We’re staying at a nice hotel, and my brother is coming!”

Phoebe’s brother
Robert was working in America, slowly climbing the corporate ladder, and so she
didn’t get to see him that often. That he was coming back to see her
performance was a huge deal for her. “That’s great,” I kept my gaze on the
shiny design letting me know the ticket was real, moving it side to side and
watching the hologram move. “But I can’t let you pay for my hotel room. I’ll
give you half, at least.”

“No, no, my mum
has insisted. You and Luke are my best friends and I want you to be there in
all the luxury. It’s going to be a big weekend. We’re going to have lots of
fun.”

I acquiesced,
knowing that her parents had more than enough money to pay for us to do this.
The guilt weighed on me. When summer came, I’d never see her or her parents
again.

I’d never see Luke
again.

We went back to
more normal conversation after that, sipping on our drinks and trying
desperately not to think too hard. I wished I could care about the mindless
gossip Phoebe spewed out. Normally I loved this kind of thing, but my heart
wasn’t in it. I just wanted to take everything back.

***

The shift had been
a long one. Luke and I had had spurts of conversation that left us in fits of
giggles, but they’d always been followed my long stretches of depressed
silence. I didn’t know whether it was better to talk about our issues or to
just leave them alone. Talking wasn’t going to help anything.

Nothing was going
to improve the situation.

When we finished
our shift, we walked wrapped in our own jumpers and braced the cold wind. It
was going to be getting warmer soon and I knew I’d miss these late night walks
to and from the chippy. Jumping into the car and turning the heater up to full
blast, driving just on the speed limit to reach Luke’s cosy house as quickly as
possible. Angela would have put something in the oven for us and the kettle
would be time perfectly for when we got in.

Today, we kept our
gazes solidly on the pavement and made sure that our arms didn’t brush against
each other’s as we walked. Our pace was slow. There was no rush for either of
us to get home anymore.

“I’m going to see
Phoebe when we get back into Sheffield,” Luke declared, scuffing his shoe
against the concrete. “How long do you think it’ll take me to like her again?
Will I ever like her again?”

I didn’t know what
to say to that. “Phoebe’s a good person,” was all I could manage.

“She keeps trying
to sleep with me. I don’t think I can do it.”

I knew there’d
have been a tinge of pink on his cheeks if I’d lifted my gaze. “Then don’t.”

“She’ll know
something’s wrong.”

“She just threw
your life up in the air by announcing she’s pregnant. I’m sure she can
understand that horniness isn’t your dominant emotion right now.” Sad,
sarcastic bitterness had become my default the past couple of days. I was
perfecting the art of alienating everyone.

“I know. I just, I
want
to like her. I want to be happy with her, but it’s just not there.”

“You were happy
once. Maybe it’ll get better when I’m out of the picture,” my voice was
strained as pictures of a smiling Luke and Phoebe with a new baby haunted my
mind for the thousandth time that day.

I felt Luke’s eyes
on me. “Are you going to be out of the picture?”

“When university
comes and I’ve got an excuse, yes. I can’t keep doing this, I’m sorry,” I hung
my head lower, burying my chin in the fur of my coat. “I’m not… I’m not trying
to abandon you or anything. I just…” I paused and sighed. “I don’t know if I
can deal with this if I see you every day and I’m so guilty about Phoebe I
just…” I trailed off once more. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s okay. I
understand. I’d be the same in your position.”

“I’m sure it’ll
work itself out.”

“I’m sure it will
for you.”

I met his gaze for
the first time and blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry, Luke. I don’t know what
to say. I wish I could make it go away. I’ll stop talking about it from now on,
if that’s better.”

“Nothing is
better
,
Carmen. My life is ruined. Nothing is going to make anything better.”

I fell silent. I
was too hopeless to know what to respond to that with. I’d never had to deal
with cheering people up properly before and it turned out I sucked at it.

Luke sighed. “I
just want to move somewhere far away where there’s no Phoebe’s and no babies
and no debt and there’s just me and you. It would just be
nice
. There’d
be no drama. I’d just be happy.”

We’d never have
that. I’d been under the illusion it was possible a week ago, but now it was a
hopeless daydream that I’d never get to live out. “I really wish that could
happen,” I said with a crushed voice, balling my hands into fists to try and
hold back the sobs. I was approaching my record for consecutive days spent
crying.

“You said it
yourself though,” Luke had turned his voice around, taking the encouraging tone
when he noticed my expression. “It’ll all work itself out. We’ll be fine in the
end.”

“Why are you the
one trying to cheer me up? I’m so useless at this stuff.”

Luke chuckled. “Because
I’m the strong one and you’re the weak one who needed saving from the scary
man.”  

I laughed, a
genuine smile finding its way onto my face.

“I love you.”

I blushed and
realised what I’d said, too embarrassed to look up.

“I love you, too.”

I blushed harder
when I realised what he’d said.

We kept walking in
silence, as though nothing had happened, all attention on the floor, but the
tension was building to unbearable heights.

We’d come in my
car tonight and when we reached the door, I dug into my pockets to search for
my keys. I felt Luke behind and me and when his hand dipped beneath my coat to
hold my hip I turned to stone. His fingers bit into me, begging there to be
something more intimate, and skin flushed with heat when his heavy breaths
reached my ear.

We stood for a
moment like that, before Luke had moved, going around to the other side of the
car and waiting for me to unlock.

I took a second to
recover before slipping into my seat. We’d resisted. I’d told him how I felt
and we’d resisted.

It didn’t feel as
good as I’d thought it would.

Chapter Fifteen

I pulled my tiny
suitcase from up the drive behind me and tried to will away the apprehension.
It had been two weeks and nothing had happened. Phoebe had been happy, Luke had
been miserable, and I had been trying to avoid the both of them as much as
humanly possible.

Everything ached.
I was tired and sad all the time and it was really beginning to mess with me.
So, I focused all my efforts into my school work and prayed that when the
school year was over I could begin to put all this behind me.

The weekend away I
was about to endure didn’t help that one bit. Spending time with Luke and
Phoebe together was unbearable, as was spending time with Luke alone, in a
different way. It was always fun when he was there. We’d chat and ignore the
tension of our bodies accidentally brushing together every now and then due to
working in such close quarters.

But the come down
was agonising.

Going home and
holing myself up in my room after being happy with Luke led to some of the
worst moods. I spend all day and every day looking forward to going to work and
immediately afterwards I hated myself for enjoying it. It was a vicious cycle.

Phoebe was the one
to answer the door with a big grin. “Come in! We’re just trying to sort out the
rooms situation. Everyone is being awkward, of course.”

By everyone, it
obviously meant her and Robert, because Luke wouldn’t have been speaking out
against whatever arrangement her parents had planned. “Why, what’s up?” I left
my suitcase in the hallway and followed her through to the lounge.

“My parents wanted
us to share a room and Robert to share a room with Luke. I want to share a room
with Luke, obviously, but my parents said that you can’t share a room with
Robert.”

“Which you can’t,”
her mother insisted as we entered the room.

I shrugged,
hovering around in the corner whilst everyone leant over the computer. “I’m
really fine with whatever works best for you guys.”

“Nonsense. How
about you share a room with your brother and Carmen and Luke share a room?”

Luke and I
exchanged a glance, but Phoebe waved off the idea instantly. “I just want to
share a room with Luke.”

Robert, who was
standing on the side of the room much like I was, waved us all off. “I’ll just
get my own room and Carmen can have her own room. I just got a promotion, so
I’m not opposed to spending a little bit extra,” he chuckled and Phoebe grinned
at the suggestion.

As much as I
didn’t fancy knowing Luke and Phoebe were sleeping with each other in such a
close proximity, Luke and I being in the same room definitely would not have
ended well.

Phoebe begged her
mother with her eyes until she gave in. Her dad didn’t look overly impressed by
the idea, but his mum had always worn the pants in their marriage. “Fine. I’ll
ring up the hotel. We’re paying though, promotion or not. You’ve already paid
for your flights.”

Robert shrugged
and I flushed when my ringtone blasted around the room loudly. Hastily
answering it without checking the caller ID, I turned to face the wall in the
hopes that would stop me bothering anyone. “Hello?”

“Carmen?”

“Dad?”

“Yes, it’s me. How
are you?”

My father had,
once again, slipped my mind as I got caught up with my permanent pity party.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry I didn’t call or anything, it’s been kind of hectic around
here. How are you?”

“I’m fine. I was
wondering if you wanted to come around this weekend. The last visit didn’t
exactly go as planned, we didn’t get to see much of each other.”

“I can’t, I’m
going to see Phoebe’s show this weekend, sorry. Are you not still living with Luke’s
dad?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m sure Luke
wouldn’t want to come back with me to visit you whilst you’re there, anyway.”

My dad paused. “I
thought you could just come without Luke.”

“I’m not coming
without Luke,” I replied immediately. It was a lie – if he’d been somewhere
else I’d have come without Luke, but I wasn’t going anywhere near Luke’s dad
without him beside me. “Besides, couldn’t you tell I wasn’t exactly keen on
him?”

“I could make sure
he was out,” my dad offered. “And you shouldn’t believe everything he tells
you. Harry,” that must have been his name, “told me that Luke’s mum kicked him
out when he’d not done anything. He suspected she was cheating on him.”

My laugh was
sarcastic. “Angela is the nicest woman I’ve ever met. I think I’ll choose to
take her story over that monster’s.” I would have mentioned the crippling debt
he’d left behind if I was stood somewhere else.

“He seemed very
genuine. Do you really trust Luke that much?”

“Yes,” I answered
without hesitation.

“With your life?”

“Yes, I trust Luke
with my life and know he wouldn’t lie to me,” I returned, incredulous he was
even having to ask me this. Did he not see the part where Harry had tried to
manhandle me after I slapped him? “I’m not coming to see you again whilst
you’re living there. We can go for coffee instead. I have to go now. Bye dad.”

I turned back to
the room with a grimace and saw all eyes were on me. I must have been louder
and more annoyed than I thought. My cheeks turned scarlet. “Sorry, my dad was
just being an idiot.”

Phoebe looked
surprised, even after Luke and I having admitted to becoming friends during her
pregnancy announcement. Luke smirked, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “With
your life, eh?”

“Try not to take
it with more than a grain of salt. I care far more about proving a point than
telling the truth when it comes to arguments.”

We both knew it
had been a genuine statement, but for the purpose of appearances, our normal
banter was resumed.

Phoebe’s mum
reappeared with a smile on her face. “Well, we’re all sorted. Let’s get going.
Carmen, you and Luke will have to make your own way there if that’s okay. We
don’t have enough seats in our car.”

Luke nodded,
“that’s okay, I’ll drive. I’ve filled up the tank.”

“Right! Let’s be
off, then.” Phoebe’s mum ushered us all out of the room and down the driveway.
I was leaving my car parked on their property over the weekend, not that anyone
would want to steal my old banger anyway.

I spotted the blue
car on the other side of the road immediately, facing the other way so that we
couldn’t see his face. It was something he had perfected. I nudged Luke in the
direction and he grimaced. “Great,” he muttered, practically running into
Phoebe, who was waiting expectantly to give him a kiss.

“I really wanted
to travel with you, but I want to see Robert whilst he’s here. Try not to ruin
your new found friendship on the way there,” she teased, kissing Luke on the
lips, but keeping it brief for the benefit of her parents. Luke and I were
probably both relieved by it.

Slipping into Luke’s
passenger seat, we put the radio on full blast and used it as an excuse for
silence. It wasn’t long before we were both singing along to the cheesy
classics in our terrible voices. This kind of thing normally embarrassed the
life out of me, but with Luke it was just fun. We didn’t pay any attention to
the blue car following us, we just laughed and sang and didn’t think.

When the adverts
came onto the radio station, we calmed down a bit, serene smiles on our faces.
“So, what do you think of Robert? You’ve only met him once before, right?”

Luke nodded.
“Can’t say I’m fussed, but I’m only really going by first impressions. You?”

“Same here. I knew
him before he went to America and it seems he’s only got more and more
pretentious since being there. I can’t say I miss him.”

“Oh, I guess our
stalker dropped off,” I checked behind us and couldn’t see any sign of him. “At
least now we know how far we have to drive before he gets bored.”

“And now we can
stop off so I can use the toilet,” Luke rejoiced. “I should have gone before we
set off.”

I chuckled,
sharing his sentiment and pointing out some services in less than a mile. It
wasn’t such a long journey to Scarborough. Only a two hour drive and we were
nearly halfway there already.

In the services,
we parted ways to use the toilets and for the first time in a long time, I had
a natural smile on my face when I checked my appearance in the grimy mirror. I
wished the drive was longer.

“Want to buy
anything before we head off?” Luke checked, glancing around at all the
overpriced stores.

“Nah, I’m good.
Let’s just get going.” The temptation to say we should get food and add another
half an hour to the trip was very real, but I just about resisted. Phoebe would
worry if we turned up late and no doubt her parents had plans for dinner.

We were almost out
the door when a broom was slapped across our bodies. I blinked and looked
towards the janitor with outrage, only to see a familiar, smug face looking
back at me. “I think we should talk outside, don’t you?”

Luke’s dad looked
utterly serene as he walked out of the service station and expected us to
follow. Luke and I kept walking, ignoring the path around the side of the
building that he invited us to take, but Harry wasn’t having any of that. “If
you don’t come and talk to me then I’ll be forced to alert the police as to the
assault I suffered on my property three weeks ago.”

Luke halted in his
tracks and turn to stare at the hateful man who was leaning against the wall of
the building. “Go and wait in the car. I’ll be back in a bit. He’s not going to
hurt me, he just wants to intimidate me,” he assured me, eyebrows knitted so
closely together it looks painful.

“Ah, ah, don’t be
silly. She’s got to come too,” Luke’s dad shouted when I begrudgingly accepted
his decision and started walking towards the car.

Luke was raging,
but he sighed and gestured for me to follow him. The service station was quiet
anyway, but around the side of the building was deserted. I doubted there’d be
any CCTV around here, either.

“What do you
want?” Luke demanded, keeping me behind him as he spoke to Harry.

“To tell you what
I plan to do,” Harry all but sang, the wide grin making him look borderline
insane. “Believe it or not, what happened the last time we met didn’t sit very
right with me. You’re my son and I won’t let you get away with doing that. So,
here we are. A lucky coincidence, really. It saves me having to drive all the
way into central Sheffield to confront you.”

“Stop playing with
me,” Luke snapped, already leaning forwards aggressively. His fingers were
white from being clenched into fists at his side. I cowered behind him, resting
my hand on his back in what I hoped was a soothing gesture. “What do you
want
?”

“To let you know
that I’m going to hurt you-” he stopped, barking out a short laugh. “Wait, no,
even better. I’m going to hurt
her
.” He pointed a stubby finger right at
me. “Your short bitchy girlfriend that had the nerve to slap me. I don’t know
how and I don’t know when, but I’ll do it.”

My blood ran cold.
Now I had two reasons to be constantly fearing going outside. Luke started to
quiver and I moved my hand against his back, willing him not to hit his dad
again. That was what had started this and even that was my fault. “Why wouldn’t
you just hurt me?”

“What would be the
fun in that? I get to hurt the bitch
and
you. Just like how when I hurt
your mother it hurt you, too. You were the one who ruined our marriage, you
know. Angela was such a good wife before you came along.” Harry shook his head
and got back on track. “Anyway, just thought I’d let you know. Have a nice
trip.”