Never Me (9 page)

“Ready for this?” She eyed me with worry. “You don’t have to.” I saw her nod to Jack who had just finished wrapping what he called a ‘pristine’ joint and handed it to Spencer.

“She’s not smoking,” Spencer said dismissively. I narrowed my eyes. Bossy bastard.

“The hell you say, sir! I made the decision. It had nothing to do with you,” I said, giving him a hard look. He lifted his hands up in amused defeat as he walked toward me.

“Take one drag. See how you feel. It creeps up on you,” he said while inhaling a large drag, doing a double inhale that I had seen so many people do and found so sexy. He passed it to me and I looked around the room to find everyone staring at me.

“I’m not a guinea pig. Stop staring.” All eyes diverted from me to the hotel TV as I did what Spencer said. I took the joint, inhaled and immediately started coughing.

“I said easy, fireball,” he said, laughing at me and handing me a bottled water. “That’s good for now.” He took the joint away and passed it amongst the rest, minus Ellie who scrunched her nose up at the smell filling the room.

“Let’s go eat,” Spencer announced, walking toward the door. We all followed as Rory sprayed the room with her best perfume and turned on the a/c, shutting the door behind her. She gave me a quizzical look and I just shrugged my shoulders, telling her I wasn’t fazed by my small hit. I kept up with the rest of them, but felt my legs quickly turning to Jell-O as I tried to keep the pace. I suddenly felt a wave of something hit me and immediately felt the urge to sit. I tried to mask it as best I could, but quickly began to panic. This can’t be how it feels to be stoned. This was … bad. I sat in Amy’s SUV trying to make sense of it, to get it together in my head. They were all standing outside with the car doors open, debating on where we should land tonight for what had become our new routine. I took deep gulps of air to calm myself down and ended up panting instead. I was out of control, mind racing at a ridiculous speed. I couldn’t think straight. Something wasn’t right.

“Guys,” I panted as they all laughed amongst themselves. When I got no response I tried again. “Guys,” I said a little louder, not wanting to cause too much of a scene. I thought I could control my panic, but my next plea for help came out in a scream. “Guys something is WRONG!” All eyes were on me.

“Oh shit,” Spencer said, rushing to me. “It’s okay, Nadine. It just crept up on you.” He turned to Jack. “She is wigging.”

“Fuck,” Jack said as he rounded the SUV to approach me.

“I need to go to the hospital, now. This isn’t right. Take me, now,” I demanded. As soon as the words left my mouth, every one of them, including my best friend, burst out laughing.

“This is not funny. Rory, help me. Something is wrong.” Rory slowed her chuckle and I was still gasping as my mind raced. This wasn’t right.

“This is why I do not smoke that shit. Total paranoia,” Ellie said with a serious tone.

“It’s not a normal reaction. It’s just weed,” Spencer defended.

“I NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!”

“Nadine, look at me.” I was still hyperventilating and refused to meet Spencer’s eyes. I was absolutely terrified. This is not how I wanted to go out. Great… Death by joint.

“Nadine, baby girl, look at me.” His tone soothed me slightly and I met his eyes. “It will pass in a little while. This is not the norm, but it happens to a few who smoke it. The buzz is a little too much to handle.”

I burst into tears and tried to reason with him. “I am dying, right now and you are ignoring me!”

He laughed at me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to him. ”You are not dying, I promise. It’s just not a good buzz for you.”

“This is bullshit. Rory, take me to the hospital!” I pleaded with her as I became furious that no one, not even my best friend, would take me seriously.

“Nadine, no one has ever died from smoking a joint. “ She tried to maintain her calm, but lost the battle. Jack and Amy were hysterical and I looked to Ellie for help, but she too couldn’t contain her laughter.

“It’s okay, Nadine, really,” she assured me as her chuckle slowed when she saw the terror on my face. I trusted Ellie, then. I don’t know why, but I knew she wouldn’t lie. I pushed Spencer away from me and grabbed Ellie’s arm, bringing her to sit next to me in the SUV.

“I felt the same way,” she whispered to me. “I know how you feel, and I promise I won’t let anything happen to you, girl.” I looked in her eyes and saw the worry and sincerity.

“Good. Just help me through this shit, and when it’s over, I’m going to get these assholes,” I said with more venom in my voice than intended and they all heard me. Spencer went down holding his stomach and laughing until it was almost impossible not to join them.

“Mrs. Wiggins,” Spencer cooed to me as he took the seat behind me. He began rubbing my shoulders in an effort to get me to relax and within a few minutes it worked. The haze I was under was slowly disappearing and I could take all the air in I desired. I burst into laughter at my own reaction and glared at everyone who turned to gauge why. They were still the enemy as far as I was concerned. What I was sure of was that was my first and last joint.

The beer at the restaurant we landed in tasted amazing. I drank half the pitcher before our food arrived. I dealt with their snide remarks and gave them all the love finger every so often. I kept Ellie next to me and decided to grill my new friend. Whether she knew it or not, I felt safer with her around.

“So you like him,” I said, nodding toward Spencer who was absently running his hand through his dark locks and laughing with Jack.

“Is it that easy to tell?” Ellie answered, lowering her head.

“No, he can’t, but I can,” I said prodding her to open up. “If you want me to I will back off. I’ve never done it before, but I would for you.”

“He’s so into you. It seems you both are. I can’t ask that of you.”

“Does it bother you?”

“It did. But now?” She looked again at Spencer. “I think I just wanted to screw him, honestly.”

I let out a laughter filled gust of air and replied, “Me too, I think.”

“He makes for a nice view, but look around.” I did and saw a guy at the bar eyeing Ellie while his friend kept eyes between Rory and I. Ellie made a cute girl wave and her prey smiled. She smiled back and that was all it took. A few minutes later the three of us girls received shots and took them, lifting them to the tall dark and handsome distractions not at our table. In mid-shot between toasting them and the glass reaching my lips, I noticed Spencer’s eyes flash with pure jealousy. Nice. And I didn’t even try. He dismissed me and continued taunting Amy with his playful banter.

Once our food arrived, I was on a mission from God to fill myself. I knew this was the appetite of a stoner and indulged. I ate at least two pounds of crab legs in record time without looking up and pushed my plate away, letting a beer burp accidentally escape me.

“Whoops.” I looked up to see if anyone had heard it and saw Spencer and Jack holding their watches side by side.

“Seven minutes! Two pounds in seven minutes!” The whole table roared with laughter at my expense as Ellie motioned for me to grab the excess crab dripping from my chin. I felt the heat fill my face as they put their watches back on.

“You guys suck,” I said, hiding my smile with my hand.

Spencer caught my eyes and gave me his dimpled filled grin and that look. I loved that look, whatever it was. I lowered my hand and smiled at him fully. He clutched his heart and grabbed his beer taking a long slow sip, his eyes telling me what I knew to be true. This would have to come to a head soon. We both wanted it too much. Spencer broke our gaze to answer Jack who was questioning him about something at home.

“No way in hell I’m stopping whatever this is you two have going,” Ellie whispered to me. I gave her a small smile and looked back at Spencer who already had his eyes back on me and his beer lifted. I held mine up giving him an air clink and put it back down.

“Thanks, Ellie, for taking care of me,” I said, giving her a half hug at the table.

“I didn’t do anything,” she said, her short brown hair falling into her huge green eyes, a sincere smile painting her face. She lowered her voice and whispered, “But I’m glad you’re better now.”

“You were a friend to me when I needed you, which is more than I can say for this shit head.” I nodded Rory’s way and she immediately took offense. I continued my assault. “Bitch, the next time I have a panic attack and I tell you take me to the hospital, you take me to the hospital, got it?”

“Oh shut up. I knew better.” She dismissed me as she winked at the guys from the bar who were now standing directly behind Ellie and me. I saw Spencer stiffen.

“Ladies, it appears that you might not all have dates.”

“They do,” Spencer said with finality. “So fuck off.”

“Spencer,” Ellie warned. “You will have to excuse my friend. He is a caveman with no manners. I’m Ellie.”

“Derek,” the shaggy haired brunette said, taking her hand. “Should we go to the bar and do a few shots?”

“Sure,” Ellie said, sticking out her hand further to let him help her from her chair.

“How about you?” The next guy sat beside me, taking Ellie’s seat, giving me a great view of what he had to offer. He was a little too short with wavy brown hair and blue eyes—nice eyes. I smiled at him and started to answer when I heard the boom in Spencer’s voice.

“What the fuck did I say?”

“Sorry, man. Is this your girl?”

“No I’m not,” I said, glaring at Spencer who was standing behind and above us.

“The hell you aren’t,” he said, lifting me from my chair into his arms. In an instant I was being carried away over his shoulder and laughed whole heartedly as I pounded on his back to let me down. When he finally did we were on the sand, the sun setting behind him. Our smiles faltered and only one word could come from my lips.

“Spencer.”

It was more of a question than a statement. I had never taken the time to get to know any of my invites, but I knew better than to think this sexual pull was normal. Every time he looked at me my senses reeled, my body ached in places he had already touched. He was most definitely invited. This was so out the norm for me, I couldn’t say anything else. I would have to let him take the lead and that in itself was a huge leap from my comfort zone. Instead of thinking any more about it, I decided to just let it happen.

His eyes were pooling dark and it took my breath from me. I looked down at my hands, which were balled in fists on my dress, and he tilted my chin back up to keep his gaze.

“Twenty-five years old and I can’t bring myself to say what I want to a beautiful woman.” He rubbed my cheek and took my lips with a tenderness I wasn’t used to.

“Spencer.” I moaned in unison with him. “How do I know you’re not just screwing with me?”

“What do you think, Nadine?”

“I really don’t care, I guess.”

“Maybe then I won’t take you until you do.”

He shut my mouth with his and drank me in completely. I was drunk on his kiss and his arm slid around and cradled my waist. Every touch seemed so natural and so right. His kiss was deafening, though the only sound around were the waves playing their melody. His tongue was so gentle and dipped sweetly into my mouth over and over. I felt the moisture between my legs and began to ache for him. It was getting to be too much for me to handle. I took his assault and leaned my body into him, pressing my chest to his. Telling myself that this may be just another ploy at getting the best of me and worse enjoying it, I ripped my lips away.

“This isn’t how I usually do this.”

“Maybe times are changing for you.”

“And I think I want them to.” Shit. He saw me regret my admission and I saw a curious look on his face.

“When was your last boyfriend?” he asked, rubbing my bare shoulders in a hypnotizing way.

“I‘ve never had one.”

“Never?”

“No, well once… maybe… kind of.” Our voices were in whispers as if we were trying to keep a secret between us.

“Kind of? You were his or you weren’t?”

“I wasn’t. I don’t care about that stuff. It’s not my thing.”