Need You Now (Martha's Way Series Book 2) (23 page)

She
winced, shut her eyes and let the tears flow.

The room
screamed in silence, creating an overwhelming sense of emptiness.

Then
Lily heard the steady sound waves beeping from the mo
nitor.

Her eyes
snapped opened and peeked at the sound waves on the screen used to create an
image of their unborn baby. She looked at Adam. A frown creased his brow. Lily
smiled. She saw the confusion in his eyes as he glanced over her to look at the
tech
nician.

“What’s
that sound?” he asked.

“That’s
the heartbeat. Strong little guy,” the technician said and smiled at them.

Tears
welled behind Lily’s eyes once more. A feeling of relief soothed her body. She
looked at Adam again. He drew a deep breath throu
gh
his nose, releasing all the tension inside of him. He leaned in and kissed her
forehead, then took hungry possession of her mouth, his tongue dipping in,
kissing her with a passion, which took her breath away.

She was
drowning in the passion until Adam
pulled away.
Dazed, she looked at him. He now had a smirk on his face.

The
technician cleared her throat. “Sorry, I have to take a few more pictures.” She
looked at Lily. “I need you to be calm.”

Oh,
right. And that meant no kissing Adam.

About
one hour
later, the curtain drew open again, the
doctor along with Gwen entered. Adam stood up and the two men shook hands.

“Good to
see you again,” the doctor said to Adam. “Forrest called. I told him everything
is okay.”
 
He turned to Lily.
“Liliana, my name is P
eter.”

She
shook the man’s hand and narrowed her eyes. A feeling of dread crept up from
the pit of her stomach. “What’s wrong?”

He
smiled. “Nothing,” he answered. “But we are going to keep you overnight for
observation.”

“Why?”
The question came from Adam.

“You
suffered severe trauma,” Peter said, speaking directly to Lily. “Typically
after the adrenaline and shock wear off, the victim experiences some pain.”

“I’m
fine.”

“We need
to monitor your neck and head, and give you something if necessary. Also, we n
eed to stabilize your blood pressure.”

“No
drugs.”

The
finality in Adam’s voice cut through Lily. She knew his fear was related to his
birth condition.

Peter
looked at Adam then at Lily. “It won’t be anything strong.”

Adam’s
face was set in a hard, determi
ned expression. “No,”
he said, his voice rougher.

After a
brief moment, the doctor nodded. “There are different types of shock. Some are
dangerous and may cause damage to Liliana or the baby.” He stopped and gave
them a moment to process the information.
“I’ll leave
the two of you to discuss our options if required.”

“What
about the bleeding?” Lily asked with concern.

“The
blood is brown, left over from your last cycle. That is common. It should stop
in a day.” His gaze went to Adam then back at Lily. “How
ever, you have to refrain from intercourse for a few days.”

That was
the easy part. She already wasn’t getting any. She glanced over at Adam and
searched for any kind of humor in the situation. His face was stoic.

“We are
going to admit you,” Gwen said. “I
n the meantime,
elevate your extremities to increase blood flow to the heart.”

Once
they were alone, Adam pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down. The
color once again drained from his face. He slouched forward and took one of her
hands in his.

“No
drugs, Liliana.”

With her
free hand, she caressed his face. “Adam, what happened to you was different.”
Grief swept through her system, enveloping her body. A dark, sickening pain
filled her heart over Adam’s agony. “I’m sure the hospital will follow ever
y protocol.”

He
heaved a sigh. “I’m at seventy-percent chance of becoming an addict. I’ve
passed that to our child. I don’t want to increase a statistic like that.”

“Have
you ever done drugs?”

“I was
born an addict, Liliana.” He dragged a hand through his
hair. “I won’t even take a Tylenol unless I’m dying.”

“You
turned out okay.”

He
shrugged.
“So far.
But I live in fear over
that knowledge every day.”

“Our
baby will be okay. We will deal with whatever comes our way.”

“Together.
No matter what, Liliana.”

Sh
e understood the implication in his words.
The M word–marriage.
What he had wanted the
moment he learned of her pregnancy. He spoke no word of love. They liked each
other and, as he pointed out, the sex was great between them. Still, settling
for anything
less would leave a void inside her for
the rest of her life.

“No
matter how we end up
,
Adam, we will always deal with our baby together.” She
propped herself on the bed to a sitting position, and patted down the empty
space by her side. Despite the ache in
side her heart,
every piece of her wanted him closer. “Come here.”

He gave
her a weak smile. “There’s no room. You need to be comfortable.”

“I need
to feel you next to me. I need for our bodies to touch.”

He
reluctantly lifted from the chair and lowered hi
s
weight on the bed. Lily shifted to allow more room for him.

“Liliana.”

“Sshh,”
she silenced him. “Just hold me.”

“I want
to do more.” His hands skimmed over her breasts.

Heat
ripped through her.
“Me too.
But apparently we can’t
have sex.”

“We
weren’t
having sex anyway.”

“But I
was hoping things would change for the better.”

He
laughed, slid his hand through the front of the gown and cupped one of her
breasts.

“That
feels good.” Lily moaned, her whole body trembling with longing. “I want more.”

Adam
lowered his head and bit her nipple. Lily gasped over the
tingling sensation. He released her and closed the gown.

“You
don’t play fair,” she complained, her body still quivering with desire.

“Neither
do you.”

“I did
nothing.”

 
“No?” He took her hand and p
laced it over his erection. Lily wrapped her hand over the
bulge in his pants and stroked him. Adam cursed softly. “You do a lot to me,
Liliana.
Even when you do nothing.”

Chapter Twenty-One

I’ll
tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife.”

Hozier
– Take Me to Church

The
metallic shower head hung above Adam. He pulled the lever to the right and a
stream of cold water rained onto his skin like an electric shock. The hair on
the back of his neck prickled. Goosebumps slithered up his arms and
legs. He clenched his jaws and reached for the shampoo,
washed his hair, and rinsed off the suds.

He
grabbed the soap, scrubbed his neck, and closed his eyes. Typically, he
preferred a steamy hot shower but damn it, he’d been fighting a raging hard-on
sinc
e Lily was released from the hospital. Actually,
since he’d fondled her in the emergency room.

Sick.
Fucking sick.

Who
fondles a woman while she lays on a gurney waiting to be admitted?

Me.

He
dragged the soap over his body. The action soothed his skin but
failed to alleviate his desire or aching bulge. Instead it
caressed him like Lily’s kisses, running along his torso.

Something
else had emerged inside him.
An
ache that clawed at his limbs, not the sexual one, something deeper.
Although he had been
scared
out of his mind over the possibility of her
miscarrying, Lily’s well-being through the whole ordeal had been his main
priority.

She
affected him.

His mind
wandered to the woman in his bed, and his breath caught. He was feeling shit he
never wanted to experience.
Feelings.
Emotions.
Those things had made his
birth mother weak, caused her to do some dumb crazy shit. Because of feelings,
she became dep
endent on a pimp and sold her body for
money. Those who didn’t pay in cash had provided her drugs to satisfy her
favorite
pastime
.

Disgust
and anger washed over him.

He
should probably run in the opposite direction as fast as he could and drop his
marriage
quest. Time and time again, Lily had made it
clear she would not settle for anything less than the whole enchilada. She
wanted love.

Yeah, he
should definitely run. He didn’t do love, at least not the kind she asked for.
He loved his parents, his extended
family and
friends, but the love Lily wanted meant getting the heart involve and becoming
exposed, vulnerable.

Run
wasn’t the word. He should be sprinting out of her life.

But
something told him it was too late. She had already penetrated his layers.

His
gut tightened. Needing to numb everything inside, Adam
turned the knob to the max, and hissed. The bitter cold water spread over his
back and his muscles flexed in response. One hand planted firmly on the wet
tile facing him, while the other tightened arou
nd his
throbbing erection, and glided over firm flesh. His head fell forward as he
continued the slow and steady motion, sliding up and down. Images of Lily
stimulated the searing heat inside. His speed increased.

Shit.
His hand loosened around his shaft.

“What
the fuck!” He shook his head with disgust, not because he was ashamed of
jerking off. Hell that had been his go-to move since he was fourteen. The first
night he woke up with a hard-on over some girl in school. But he enjoyed it
most when Lily watche
d him while she touched herself.

Yeah…that’s
what he needed. A little jerking off while she gently stroked the delicate
softness between her thighs. But she couldn’t do shit.
Completely out of commission for at least two more days.
The bleeding had stopped
a day after they returned home, but Peter had advised they
continued to sustain from intercourse.

Intercourse.
The word sounded so technical.

He and
Lily fucked.
Hard.
Anywhere they could. And
since her fall he wanted to throw that bullshit
no sex
rule ou
t the window, slide inside that moist, needy place he
called home and pummel himself into her fiery furnace.

He was
an asshole.

On top
of the accident, the nausea had returned full force. Even now while she lay in
bed, pale as a ghost, all he could think a
bout was
having her legs up in the air, preferably resting over his shoulders, or maybe
have her on her knees. Take her from behind this time with her sweet round ass
in the air.

Yup,
that made him an asshole.
A
thirty-one year old horny, fucking asshole.

He
needed to control his desire to fuck her brains out every second of the day and
think. Slowly, his world was shifting off its axis and she was the culprit. The
horror of her fall, fear for her safety, and the thought of what they might
have lost. All of
that had consumed him, making him
less guarded. Another wall was lowered.
But not all.
There were still things
he needed to tell her, expose what existed inside and show her all that he was.
He needed to walk down that street completely naked and vulnerab
le. He let out a ragged breath. At least his hard-on was
under control; well, sort of.

Turning
off the water, he quickly dried off and wrapped a towel around his waist before
stepping into the bedroom. His gaze automatically went to the bed where she was
h
alf propped under the covers with her cell phone in
her hand and a slight frown on her forehead.

He
fought the longing to go over and kiss her, pull her in his arms as they
usually greet each other. Instead he walked over to the nearby chair and picked
up
his favorite pair of grey sweats. His lounging
sweats; no underwear needed for those.

He felt
her honey-colored eyes watching him. “How are you feeling?” he asked while
tying the knot of his sweats. She continued to watch him.

“We need
to talk.”

The
seriou
sness in her voice caught his attention. He met
her gaze and a heavy numbness invaded his chest. “Whatever you read on the
internet is not true.”

“I
didn’t Google you. I’d much rather you tell me.” Silence fell between them as
her gaze fixed on his face.
“
Everything, Adam.
I want to know who this
man was and what he wants.”

He
picked up the towel from the armchair. “He’s a reporter.”

Recognition
flickered in her eyes.
“The one who
badgered Claire with questions about you?”

He
nodded.

“Your
parents had him d
emoted.”

“I can’t
control how my parents react to things.”

She
smiled. “They love you very much.”

“Yes
they do.” He’d never deny that he got lucky in the adoptive parents pool.

She
continued to watch him. Adam waited for the questions to come. It was
inevitable and he was ready. Well, as ready as he could
ever be. But she picked up the cell phone again.

“I did
some research on your birth condition.”

“Addicted
babies,” he said in a low, rough voice. “Say it, Liliana,
then
everything about who I am becom
es real.”

She
flinched at his words, but said nothing. His lungs burned.

“You can
still abort if you want.” Adam watched Lily. She struggled to shift her gaze
but his eyes were locked on hers, willing the connection to hold. Even in his
ears the words soun
ded callous. But shit, that was an
option they should have talked about from the moment he found out she was
pregnant with his child. “I never wanted to be a father, so I’d understand.”

Her face
glazed for a split-second and then she frowned, her lips purs
ed together and her eyes were unblinking. At that moment,
if her eyes were a weapon, the piercing look in them could have caused serious
destruction. She became a lioness. He had come into her territory and she was
about to attack.

* * * *

Although
Adam’s voice grazed with pain, the words still
delivered a massive blow to Lily’s chest. She surveyed his stance. The hard
ridges of his chest flexed with controlled anguish. The sweatpants hung low to
his hips. The material clung to him like a lover, outl
ining
that part of him that made him male. “You think that’s what I want?”

He
shrugged with indifference. “It’s something we should have talked about.”

His eyes
stared at her with such intensity that it made her uncomfortable, and she
squirmed and writhed
under his gaze.

“It’s an
option.”

Funny,
the possibility of terminating the pregnancy; however, unanticipated, never
crossed her mind. Sure her life had taken a surprising twist, but she’d adjust.
Yet, here Adam stood, admitting he never wanted to be a fat
her and giving her a choice to cut their ties. “I don’t
want a fucking abortion.” Her chin spasmed and Lily bit the inside of her mouth
to control the anger knifing her insides. “I want this child.
With or without you.
And all of whatever flaws
you
think
h
e may have.”

“Liliana.”
He took a step forward in her
direction.

“Don’t.”
Her voice trembled and she buried her face in her hand. “Don’t say my name in
that voice. Don’t touch me.” She paused, exhaled, and lifted her face to meet
his eyes. “Don’t do anythi
ng.”

Lily
shifted her gaze to the window so Adam couldn’t see the amount of pain his
words inflicted. “I need a few minutes alone.”

He
hesitated then walked out of the room. It wasn’t until the door closed that
Lily let the hot torrents of grief course dow
n her
face. Frustrated, she punched the pillow with her fist and buried her face in
it as the deep emotions stirred with no other outlet but through her
long-lasting sobs.

Paige
had sent her several links on drug addiction in infants. The statistics were g
rim. More than fifteen-hundred babies were born addicted to
heroin, crack cocaine, and other drugs every year, approximately four babies a
day born dependent on something through no fault of their own. The findings
shocked and horrified her.

Adam
fell in t
hat statistic.

The
images she saw on the internet and the reality of what Adam had to endure as a
baby in the womb, innocently absorbing the nutrients laced with coke or
whatever else his mother injected into her system had not been easy to absorb.
Lily’s
stomach bubbled like the sea boiling in a
storm, wanting to heave the visions of the man she loved as a baby screaming,
shaking with withdrawal pain.

Several
times she had rushed out of the room to the nearest bathroom and relieved the
disgust in her chest. Although physically sickened, she kept on and read all
the information. She needed to familiarize herself with the side effects Adam
experienced as
a child. Easily irritated was one of
them, and appeared to still be a work in progress. She loved him, a man she was
still learning about. She loved him, with all his flaws and traits. She loved
Adam Aquilani.

Through
no choice of his own, he had suffered
an addiction
that came straight from what was meant to
be the most perfect
environment—
his mother’s womb. Instead, Adam, and these other faultless
babies born into the trauma of addiction were given a tragic start in life. And
because addiction had an inhe
rited component, passing
down from parent to child by way of genes, their baby without a choice, through
no fault of theirs, had become a fallen heir.