My Soul Laid Bare: Book 4 (The Soul Keeper Series) (24 page)

He smells strongly of my childhood home, and of himself, an equally enticing aroma all on its own. He kisses me through the tears wiping them away with a not so gentle touch. His hands get lost in a sea of my hair as he brings his soft full lips over mine again and again, trying to end my pain by loving me. Elijah's got this way of erasing time and mistakes. He specializes at making a world that just the two of us reside in. He pulls me into this bubble, and I have no desire to leave.

I pitch the pricey SAT phone into the stucco of the disheveled building as Brennen decimates my world yet again. It shatters into tiny shards of scrap, landing in the dirt. It’s hot as hades in this forsaken place, and I’m tired of always being drenched with perspiration. How could she go off and have some lucid affair with that asshole? The same asshole that caused us so much grief in the past… how could she?

I lean against the mortar in the narrow alleyway between the new clinic we’re building and the slum housing project that’s threatening to crumble on top of it. I should have never come here. She asked me to stay – no she down right begged me to. Yet, I kissed her on the lips and boarded the damn plane anyway. Still, it doesn’t give her the right to do what she did! I’m not the one who just stomped all over our wedding vows.   

I can feel the anger inside of me bubbling up ready to explode. I want to punch someone in the throat right now.
That little blue eyed dick would be a good start!  Pregnant, how can that be? We have tried for five long years, and her self-declared “cousin” shows up to get the deed done!

I begin to picture her swollen with child, and then an image of Elijah rubbing his hand down her belly slams into me like a punch to my gut, and it cuts off my airway. I hunch over grabbing onto my knees as I fight for a breath. I slump to the ground on my knees, no longer able to stand. Uncontrolled tears begin to drop one by one from my face creating little puffs of dust in the dry dirt.
How could she do this to me all over again? How? Why in God’s name does she keep hurting me?

A native nurse comes up to me in the alley. I am so ashamed to be caught here crumpled like a piece of paper.  I can barely look up to make eye contact.  Her face is worrisome and concerned.
“Doctor Montgomery, you want go back? I make it okay today.” Her English is broken, but she makes her point. I nod standing at the same time and leave her with a look of confusion etching across her face. I stride off a shell of the man I was five minutes ago.

I make my way into a local bar and order a shot of whiskey. Damn those black outs. Bring one on! I need a real drink.

After two shots, I remember that the blackouts were what led her into Elijah’s arms in the first place.

After four shots, I begin to wallow in self-pity with every fathomable image of Brennen swollen with child flashing through my mind. I see her cradling a blue eyed little baby that resembles Mr. Peckerhead himself. She is singing to the infant in her sweet, straight from heaven voice, and I lose it like a damn toddler throwing a tantrum.
It was supposed to be our child she soothed with her mellifluous voice.
I slam the shot glass down shattering it.  I pound my fist into the fractured pieces of glass like I’m trying to beat them into the wooden bar.  Blood spills from my hand and I don’t care.  I cry out in anguish with no concern of who lays witness to my unraveling. I cannot hold in the storm that comes pouring out of me. I sit and sob.

“
Hey man, I think you need to go sleep that off,” the bartender interrupts my display with a pitied look plastered on his smug face. I look up, and all I see is Elijah’s face taunting me with what he has stolen. I lose any ability to reason right then. My hands clench into balls. I grab on to his dingy white tank top and punch him in the lip with my free hand. Something a surgeon should never do, but damn, it feels so good. Still holding on to his shirt, I swing again and again.  I want to destroy him!

Finally a group of locals grab my arms and pull me off, dragging me outside. They toss me into the street and then jump on top of me using me as a punching bag.   They even kick me in the stomach a few times for good measure before leaving me in a battered pile. It knocks the wind out of me, and I struggle to breathe. I’m sure the last kick probably bruised a rib.
Just my luck! A patrol car flashes his lights having witnessed the entire scene. The next thing I know, I’m being handcuffed and thrown in the back of the police car. I mutter under my breath, “I should have never come here.”

I spend the next two days not knowing who to call. I’m the last of my team down here, and I hate to cause any of the others to fly back to this place. I’m also too ashamed to let anyone else be privy to my mess of a life, my life that has turned into a living nightmare. The cell is filthy and smells like the body odor of twelve sweaty men who haven’t been allowed a shower in months.

My ribs ache with every breath I take like someone is stabbing me with a dull spoon. My knuckles are scabbed over with dried blood, his and mine. I’m sure I have bruises all over, but I haven’t checked. My face is the only surface that doesn’t hurt and I guess that’s one positive. 

The guard signals to me and opens the door when I reach it.
“You come make your phone call. Tell someone to bail you out today, or we take you to other place. Trust me monsieur, it not so sophistiqué. Oui?”  I roll my eyes at his poor excuse for a joke.

The uniformed man sits me in front of a telephone. I stare at it for a long while until he finally nudges me. I pick up the receiver and dial. I’m not really even aware of the number my fingers dial.

A woman’s voice my very soul recognizes greets me. “Hello? This is Cat.” The air is sucked out of my lungs rendering me speechless.

How in the world did I reach Cat?

A cough sputters from my throat as I pull the receiver away from my ear like it could answer the question in my mind. I clear my throat and answer her.

“
Cat it’s, uhh, Sam.”

“
Sam Montgomery?”

“
Yes. I’m sorry I called you, but I didn’t know who else to turn to.”

The uniformed man taps his boot trying to hurry the conversation along.
“Deux minutes,” he remarks as I glance up at him. I sigh frustrated.

I shake my head and figure what the hell.
“Cat, I’m in jail in Haiti. I have no one to call. I can pay you back for the airfare. I am truly sorry to be asking this from you,” the words rush out with a mind of their own.

The line is silent for a moment, and I hope I haven’t lost her because I don’t even remember her phone number. I’m not even sure how I managed to get it right after all these years. She was only in my life for about a month.

“I’ll be on the next flight out Sam. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you can find a way to make it up to me,” she says suggestively. 

“
Thank you, Cat.”

Early the next morning the jailer calls me to the door.
“You’re quite the lucky bastard aren’t you, monsieur?”

I assume he’s referring to Cat’s attractiveness. I hope these brutes didn’t hassle her, or I’ll wind up back in here.

I step out of the building and let the sultry air fill my lungs, wincing at the pain I just brought upon myself. I don’t think air has ever smelled this fresh to me in my life. My eyes attempt to adjust to the bright sun as I scan my surroundings looking for my liberator. I cringe at what a mess I must look. I’m sure I don’t smell too fresh either.

My breath leaves me as I spot her near the street. She’s facing away but I’d know her body shape anywhere. I never thought seeing her again would feel like this. It’s like the fuse has been lit within. I can feel the line burning inside of me desperate to find her at the other end, to ignite the explosion.

She turns and takes me in, the older but not wiser version of myself. She closes her eyes slowly as if I’ve calmed her somehow. Her eyes drift open along with the contagious smile I’ve missed so much. I swallow hard as the memories of what she meant to me flood back. How did I ever let her leave? I long to pull her into my arms, but I know I’m filthy. It’s frustrating me not being able to hold her after all these years.

“
Drunk and disorderly conduct Sam. Really? Tell me they got the wrong man.” Her silky bronze skin warms my heart ten times over, and I bite my lip trying to keep myself in check. She’s dressed in wide leg white linen pants and a sleeveless crimson top, pulling off a beach look that I really like.  

I laugh and shake my head.
“Afraid not, and it’s a long story.”

“
Well, why don’t you get cleaned up and tell me all about it over dinner? I’m staying at the Royal Oasis.”

“
I’d love to take you to dinner to thank you for your help. I’ll pick you up at six.”

It’s a short drive for Cat to drop me at my rental car back by the office. I don’t bother to go in and explain things to the few staff that are there. I’ll be back to work first thing in the morning, and for now, they can manage on their own. I huff a breath out in my car wincing once again. Yep, definitely a bruised rib. How did I end up in this situation?

On the phone, Brennen had begged me to come home, so she could explain things face to face. But no, I had to make her tell me over the phone. I wish I knew all the details, yet then again I don’t. This is by far the worst thing she’s ever done to me. She’s broken me beyond repair, and I will never make the mistake of trusting her again.

I pound my hands into the steering wheel as my anger begins to boil over again. I keep getting an image of her naked in Elijah’s arms. She was mine. I cherished her. I remember how good she felt in my arms after making love, naked and vulnerable. I gave her all of me, but it was never enough. I couldn’t give her the one thing she so desperately wanted.

That night as I knock on Cat’s hotel door, I wonder to myself if my wife went through this same scenario. Did she open her door to Elijah and invite him into our home? Did he sleep with my wife in our bed, or were they in a hotel room? She’s a state Governor. She worked so hard to get her place in office. It’s so hard to imagine her letting such a scandal take place. Though it’s even harder to imagine my wife disregarding five years of marriage, tossing it out like our love meant nothing,. Then to add insult to injury, she gets pregnant with the bastard that caused us to part ways back in college.

Cat opens the door dressed in a simple T-shirt and long skirt. Her hair is tied back with a scarf making her look like she could fit in as one of the locals here not that any are as breathtaking to behold as her.   She breezes by me, and her scent follows in her wake. I allow myself a lung full of her cinnamon and sandalwood scent. It’s just the right amount of sweet and spicy, and it makes my stomach churn.
Stop! It’s just dinner with an old friend, nothing more. Brennen may not care about our vows, but they mean something to me.

We decide on a small Caribbean spot with an ocean view. It has open outdoor seating with colorful light bulbs strung above the tables creating a fun atmosphere. A live band usually starts up around nine. I spend most of my Saturday nights here, alone, unlike how Brennen has been spending her Saturday nights.

I order an iced tea not wanting to risk having another tantrum in front of Cat. She orders a glass of chilled Chardonnay.

“
I want to apologize for leaving you all those years ago. My father called and he needed me home right away. I hated leaving things the way I did. I’m very sorry if I hurt you Sam.”

Her words are filled with such sincerity. I know I could never harbor any ill thoughts towards her. I wish fate hadn’t intervened the way it did. What would my life have been like if Cat hadn’t ever left me?

“But, there is something else bothering you. Isn’t there?” she asks.

Over the next hour and a half, Cat pulls every ounce of the story from me. I tell her the ugly truth that has ruined my marriage. She knows that I went back to Brennen almost right after she left, and she sort of blames herself. She doesn’t blame me for going back and her forgiveness is a salve to my wounded heart. Just being close to her is mending my very soul.

“I still think there must be a part of the story you’re missing.”

“
You think I should call her after everything I’ve told you,” I say incredulously. “Her exact words were,
’I slept with Elijah, and I’m pregnant
.’”

Cat scrunches up her nose and cocks her head to the side.
“Technically earlier you said her exact words were ‘I sort of yada, yada and so on.’ Yeah, so what if ‘the sort of” she’s referring to is that she got drunk and didn’t know what she was doing? What would you say to those apples?”

I know that many of the times I had called Brennen late at night, she sounded like she had had a few glasses of wine. I glare at Cat, and she beams with her plausible scenario.

“You said she was upset when you left for Haiti because she couldn’t get pregnant. I bet she refrained from alcohol the entire time you were trying to conceive. Am I right?”

“
Yes, Miss Know-It-All. You’re right.”