My Heart Can't Tell You No (10 page)

“Get out! Goddamn you, I don’t need you coming back into my life anymore! Get out!” she exploded.

He turned and walked to the doorway, pausing to look back at her. At that moment he didn’t want to be anywhere but in that fancy bed behind her, but when she reached for a glass bottle, he turned again.

“Don’t bother throwing it. You’d probably just turn around and step in the damn glass anyway. I’m going.”

CHAPTER VI
 

June/July 1984

“M
ommy! I want to go with John and Tom! Can I go? Can
I
?” Robby ran into the house, followed closely by Jackie.

“They’re gonna meet Lew at the creek. Can I go, too?” Jackie’s face was bright.

Maddie took off her reading glasses and looked at her children. Jackie was tanning nicely, his hair bleaching to almost blond, and his deep brown eyes gave him an appearance that, someday soon, would steal many third-grade girls’ hearts. On the other hand, Maddie knew Robby’s hair would remain dark, almost black, while his complexion deepened to a bronze that would be much more intense than his brother’s. Robby’s eyes, though identical to Jackie’s in color, had an added, joyful sparkle to them the older boy’s lacked.

“I don’t know. Did they ask you to go along?” She leaned back from the desk where she was filling out order forms for the store.

“No, they’ll let us go though. They like us,” Robby told her.

“I know they like you. But you should ask first. Maybe they would like to spend some
grown-up
time
together.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Robby said simply, clearly finding that notion quite absurd.

“Come on Mom, go up to Gram’s with us so we can ask. They’re gonna leave soon.” Jackie’s anxiety showed as he stepped from one foot to the other, then grabbed her hand and pulled her out of her chair.

Robby got behind her and pushed until she was on her feet laughing at their excitement. Granted, she didn’t take them fishing very often, but they went often enough with their uncles. She knew it was the chance to visit with Lew that made them eager for her to hurry.

“I didn’t say you could go yet, even if they did ask. What if I say you have to stay home and help me around here?”

“Ah Mom, you can’t make us stay home now,” Jackie whined as Robby climbed up on the chair she had been sitting in and jumped into her arms.

“Please, Mommy, please can we go? You can go too. I’ll teach you how to fish.”

“I have to go to the store today. I’ve already stayed home long enough. But you two can go,
if
John and Tom agree.”

Joe’s silent approach to the doorway turned Jackie’s expression dim, but lit Robby’s face with a fresh smile.

“I thought I told you to stay off that foot.”

“Joe! I’m going fishing!” Robby told him.

“I know. Your uncles sent me down for you. I think I’ll go along, too.”

“I asked Mommy to go, but she has to go the store.”

“Then you and Jackie better go get your rods and run up to your Gram’s. John and Tom are there waiting for you.”

“I’m staying home with Mom,” Jackie said sullenly as he let go of his mother’s hand and moved to the television, turned it on, and sat on the couch.

Maddie put Robby on the floor, and he ran immediately to the screen door and opened it, telling Joe to enter. She walked back to her oldest child and knelt next to him. She sensed Jackie’s resistance to Joe and wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it or if she even wanted to deal with it.

“Ya know, sailor, Lew’s gonna be there. Don’t ya want to go along and see him?” Maddie asked quietly.

“Yes, but . . . .”

“You like fishing with Tom and John. Last time you caught a big trout.”

“I know.”

“So don’t you want to go have another try? Maybe this time you’ll get two or three.”

“Mom, don’t you want me to stay home with you?”

“But I won’t be home. You can ride along to the store if you like, but I think you’d enjoy sitting next to Lew along a cool stream more than in a hot store.” She kissed his cheek then stood up. “Come on, run down and get your rods. Tom and John are waiting for you.”

Jackie reluctantly got off the couch and headed for the cellar door as Maddie switched off the television. When she turned back, Joe was sitting in the chair she had occupied earlier, listening to Robby’s childish babble about the trout his big brother had given him the last time they went fishing.

“I didn’t get any though,” Robby said sadly, then brightened. “So Jackie gave me his.”

“You like your brother a lot, huh?” Joe smiled at him.

“He’s big—and strong, like you.” Robby was pulling off a dusty sneaker, emptying the gritty sand from it before pushing it back on.

“I just bet you
had
to empty your sneaker right in that spot, Robert!” Maddie looked down at him. “That carpet was just screaming that it needed sand on it.”

“So now your house looks lived in, not like some piece of antique artwork,” Joe said as he bent to help the boy with his sneaker.

“Joe, if you don’t like my piece of antique artwork, you know where the door is.” She moved to the book of forms on the desk in front of Joe and closed it.

“Are you and Mom fighting?” Robby whispered to Joe.

“Us? Fight? Never.” Joe caught Maddie by the arm and pulled her unsuspecting body onto his lap. “She just likes to yell at me a lot; makes her think she’s important. But I don’t have to listen to her.”

Maddie’s eyes widened. How dare he maneuver her into such a position in front of her son!

“Me neither,” Robby whispered back.

“The hell you don’t, little boy!” Maddie tried to get up, but Joe’s arms held her firmly against his lap. “I can easily take you to the store with me instead of letting you go fishing!”

“No, you won’t.” Robby stared at them with an impish grin.

“And why won’t I?”

“Because Joe wants you to go along with us, dontcha, Joe?”

“Definitely.” He allowed her to get up from his lap and go to the doorway. “You sure you don’t want to go along?”

“Yes. I’m certain. I have to go to the store.” She watched him move to stand in front of her as Jackie arrived with the two fishing poles.

“The Maddie I fished with last time didn’t wear tailored suits and three-inch heels. She wouldn’t have known how to walk in them. Her legs were shown off rather nicely in bare feet and cut-off jeans. She would have jumped at the chance to go fishing with the guys.”

“
She
didn’t have two little boys to support. You better go, Lew’s probably been at the creek waiting for some time.” She started to walk past him, but he stopped her.

His lips met hers before she realized it, the gentleness of his kiss catching her off guard as her hands moved to his arms to steady herself. The kiss was making her warm again, making her feel things she started to welcome with agonizing relief, but, before it could go any further, he lifted his head and smiled down at her.

“Sorry about that. I couldn’t resist it. Next time I’ll have to be more careful.” He opened the door and started outside with the boys; Jackie eyed him suspiciously, and Robby just giggled as he walked behind Joe. “Stop by the creek on your way home. The boys will enjoy having you there.”

She watched them leave. He had no right to come back like this when she was beginning to think she didn’t care if she ever saw him again. But he was quick to spoil that illusion; he could still play her like a puppet so easily. Damn him for making her feel like a vulnerable fifteen-year-old again.

July 1974

“They biting?” fifteen-year-old Maddie asked as she walked between her brother Tom and Bob Green toward the creek. Her enthusiasm over her outing with her brothers and uncle dimmed drastically when she saw Joe sitting near John and Lew with their lines already in the water.

“Not really. But then who came fishing to get any fish?” Lew answered. “Well, if it ain’t our little Boy Blue. You fix up any of my tickets yet, Bob?”

“You didn’t give me any to fix yet.” Twenty-two-year-old Bob knelt next to the creek.

“Hello, Maddie,” Joe said quietly when she moved to sit next to Lew.

“Hello.” Maddie glanced at him and quickly let her eyes drop. He was so damn handsome, even sitting there in cut-off jeans, an old T-shirt with an open-front shirt on over top, the very sight of him made her heart seem to skip a beat. She couldn’t bear looking at him, so she turned her attention to her safety net. “What’d ya catch, Lew?”

“Four muskies and five walleye.”

“Uh-huh.” She looked at the stream that was only six inches deep in some areas. “You sure you didn’t get any whale or dolphin while you’re at it?”

“So, how are you feeling?” He tossed a can of soda to her.

“Tired,” Bob answered for her as he moved to put his hand on her shoulder. “She doesn’t look so hot either, does she? I told her to stay home, but when she found out you were here, there was no holding her back.”

“Me?” Lew laughed.

“Well, Lew,” Maddie teased, “I guess they never told ya I have this incredible crush on you that just can’t be satisfied.”

“That’s incredible all right.”

“Maybe you ought to get out of the sun, Maddie,” John said, keeping his eyes on the fishing pole in front of him.

“Oh, John, I’ve been out of the sun all last fall and winter. Most of this spring I was inside too. Don’t make it sound as if I’m dying,” she said irritably, her comment turning all four men’s faces dim as Joe looked on.

“What’s wrong with you, Maddie?” Joe asked.