Marie's Journey (Ginecean Chronicles) (20 page)

“No, it can be three years or ten between ‘visits.’” The nurse brought the cup to her lips and gasped when the tea proved to be too hot.

Marie had been taking a sip at the same moment and put the cup to rest on the windowsill. “Then why now?”

“We aren’t completely isolated from the rest of the planet. Despite what Ginecea thinks, we still receive news from the outside.” Zena nursed her scalded lips with the palm of her hand.

“How?” Marie had heard rumors about communication channels that ran parallel to the officials.

“We have people outside who used to know Vasurians in their other lives, when they were still fathered women or workers. They help Vasura keep track by smuggling information. I know you said that once you were a wasted woman, nobody would ever remember you. I was told the same. It’s a lie. People who loved you would never forget about you. It isn’t easy, but we can still communicate with the rest of the world.”

Marie understood now. “So somebody warned Vasura a supervisor is coming.”

“Yes, around a month ago, one of our contacts intercepted a mail directed to a newly appointed supervisor.” Zena tentatively brought the cup to her lips again, and this time, she could drink from it.

Marie took hers and drank it too. “And?”

“A supervisor is only appointed when needed.” The nurse took long sips between words.

She thought it was unfair a supervisor would show up as soon as she had arrived and said so.

“Ginecea is only fair to the pure breeds.” The doctor grimly smiled and both Marie and Zena raised their cups to that.

***

Several days passed, the “ginefication”—as the process of tiding up Vasura to the Ginecean standards had been called, in an attempt to make fun of something that terrified everybody—was well on schedule, and as result, everybody’s mood was dark. Men were rarely seen at all in the main hub anymore. Members of mixed families had agreed on a temporary separation. Marie had consoled Nora when her father had left to live with the other men. Heartbreaking scenes were seen all over Vasura for almost a week. Marie’s own heart had broken at the scene of a little kid sobbing when his father had to leave. The young mother had tried to console her son, but she was too distraught to be of any help. Marie and Nora had played with the kid until the mother had stopped crying and then brought him back to her.

Day after day, she had to confront her own heartache. She looked for Grant every morning, hoping to see him at the corner of the cafeteria, only to be disappointed when he wasn’t there. For no apparent reason, work at the infirmary was slower than usual. Any other time, she would have rejoiced at having a relaxed day of work, but with so much time left to nurture idle thoughts, Marie couldn’t help but think of him. She wondered what he was doing. How he was feeling. Did ever think of her? Rane and Zena tried to keep her occupied by sending her for errands, but the long walks to fetch clean towels from the laundry or to deliver useless mail didn’t help. She almost asked Nora if she would show her where the men were staying. She knew the general direction, but Vasura was too big to wander by herself. Once, while coming back from one of the errands, she thought to have seen a man walking by. She didn’t think twice and followed him for a good ten minutes, until the person turned to ask her what she wanted and turned out to be a masculine woman. She laughed and cried at the same time the whole way back to the infirmary.

“We have an unexpected birth today,” Rena announced the news one hot morning.

Marie welcomed the idea. Since that very first day of work at the infirmary, they had cured wounds, burns, dehydration, scratches, but nothing more serious. “Do you expect any complication?”

“The mother just entered the last trimester and she looks quite small.” The doctor was preparing a corner for the birthing.

“She’s a sturdy girl. I know her. I don’t think we’ll have complications with this one,” Zena said, and a moment later, a blonde in early her twenties entered the room accompanied by two older women.

Marie was surprised by the relative calmness the mother emanated. She was in pain, but didn’t complain. By contrast, the other two women were so agitated Zena asked Marie if she could prepare an herbal tea for all.

“It’s our first grandkid,” one of the two explained.

“This is not our first delivery.” Rane smiled and the women relaxed.

“I’m sorry.” The oldest woman took a seat by the young mother, who had silently taken her place on the bed and was calmly waiting for everybody to settle.

Marie looked at her and was surprised when she winked and said, “You’ll see what fuss your mothers make when you’ll have your first baby. I’m almost glad my husband had to leave. He was driving me insane with his worries.”

She had to turn away from the scene. A deep emotion settled inside her ribcage and she felt her heart wanting to explode. For the first time in her life, Marie longed to have what this woman had, a loving family. In fifteen years, she had never given a second thought to the fact she didn’t have one. At the Institute, everybody was like her, unwanted. But Madame Carla and the other girls had always made her feel as if she belonged and she was too young to think about a future with someone. At Redfarm, she had discovered the meaning of the word “lonely,” but Verena had been there for her. Now in Vasura, she found this strange world where people were free to fall in love outside of what society ruled. She wasn’t the Marie who had left Trin a little more than three months ago. She wanted it all, mothers who were worried for her, a companion who cared for her, and friends to fill the loneliness. A companion. She hadn’t immediately thought of a girl. A solitary tear fell down her cheek and she wiped it away. Her eyes went to her bare wrist where once Idra’s bracelet had been, and she sobbed in earnest at the loss of something more than a gift. She had left it under her pillow back in her room at Redfarm and never thought about it until now.

“It’s going to be okay.” Zena’s arm circled Marie’s shoulders.

She hadn’t noticed the woman but was grateful for her words. “One day, soon, it will be okay,” Zena added, and Marie realized the nurse had spoken for the two of them.

“Let’s help this baby into the world.”
Maybe his or her world will be a better place than mine.

After dinner, instead of going to the dormitory where she knew the other girls were going to talk all night, she went for a walk and ended at the spot where Grant and she had spoken last. She hadn’t meant to at the beginning of her stroll. It was hot, and the metal box that was her dormitory already resembled a steam bath without the pleasantness of the balmy scents, and she wasn’t looking forward to any conversation about crushes and such. Her legs had brought her there. When she turned the corner and saw a shadow leaning against the metal sheet, she made to turn to avoid company at all cost.

“Marie?”

She heard Grant’s voice and spun around, her heart racing. She closed the distance in no time; she didn’t even know how she had moved so fast without tripping on the debris lying on the ground and hidden by the darkness surrounding the place. She looked for his eyes and was rewarded by two green lights. The golden and brown speckles were still there as she remembered. She probably couldn’t have described the shade of her own eyes, but she knew all the nuances of his by heart. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He smiled and she did as well. Then, without warning, he leaned forward and took her in his arms.

Marie hadn’t expected that. If she had experienced trouble breathing when she had heard his voice, now she stopped altogether. Her mind screamed at her that a man was holding her. Her body reacted by snuggling closer until she was completely embraced by his bigger, taller frame.

Then he whispered to her, “I wanted to see you.” And her legs gave out. His arms tightened around her trembling frame and didn’t let her fall.

“I wanted to see you too.” She had said it. The words that should have never left her mouth were out in the open. “I looked for you all these mornings, and during the day, the only thing I could think was you.”

He slowly caressed her back and she shivered. “We’ve been told to keep to a different area for the time being. But I wanted to see you so much…”

She liked the way she felt in his arms. It was perfect. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you earlier. You were right to be mad at me.”

He put a finger on her lips. “No, it was wrong of me to judge you that way. You didn’t make the rules.”

She was mesmerized by his voice, soft and warm, by his eyes never leaving hers, by the way his whole body seemed to curl around hers. For once, she felt small and she liked it. “I was scared.”

He took her face between both his hands, his fingers caressing the line from her ears to her jaws. “I’d never hurt you.”

She closed his eyes, his caress almost hypnotizing her. “I was scared of me, of my feelings for you, of what I wanted.”

He stopped caressing her. “And what do you want?”

Heart beating faster and no oxygen left in her lungs, Marie opened her eyes and then looked away, too embarrassed to voice her most hidden desire.

“Look at me.” It wasn’t an order, but a soft plea and she couldn’t help but obey. “What is that you want?”

His lips were so close to hers, she just had to stand on tiptoe to finally know what it felt like to kiss them. She had thought of it non-stop, replacing Carnia with herself anytime the memories came to taunt her.

“Marie…?” He looked away from her, surprise on his face, and she lost some of the courage she had summoned. His eyes still pointing at something behind her, he applied the slightest pressure on her face before releasing her. “I must go.”

Tears already clouding her vision, she saw the light pulsating at the corner of her eye, and the disappointment and hurt soon transformed into fear.

Grant stood frozen, the light intermittingly illuminating his face. “It’s happening.”

“Go! You must run!” Marie pushed him away when she saw he wasn’t moving.

“But you?”

“I’m going to be fine.” She fought the urge of asking him to follow her to her dormitory. She would have preferred to know where he was. “Go!”

Once she saw him disappear, she ran back to the infirmary. Somehow, she knew Rane and Zena would be there.

“The supervisor just arrived.” The doctor was shaking, her face pale, her hands around a cup that, from the strong smell wafting from it, didn’t contain any calming herbal tea.

Marie, already terrified, looked at Zena for an explanation.

“She saw the new supervisor.” The nurse was folding and unfolding cloths. “It’s an old acquaintance of hers.”

“Who is she?” Marie went to face Rane and she laid one hand over hers to stop the doctor from inhaling the contents of her cup.

Rane stared at Marie’s hand as if she couldn’t recognize what she was looking at. “Callista. She’s the new supervisor and she’ll not be bribed.”

At hearing the name, she too started shaking. “Are you sure it’s her?” It was a stupid question and she knew it.

Rane nodded. “Yes, and she didn’t come by herself. She’s escorted by an army wearing gold and black.”

The room was moving around her. “The Priestess’s Army? But why?”

The doctor shook her head this time, her eyes watering. “She’ll tear down Vasura and she won’t be happy until she’s finished.”

A sharp knock on the door resonated through the whole barrack. Two soldiers entered and positioned themselves by the door, rifles at ready.

Marie went to Zena, who protectively brought her under her wing. Rena looked like a statue, not trembling anymore, but preternaturally still. Arguing voices reached them, but they didn’t have to guess about what was happening for too long. Callista strode inside, immediately followed by three Vasurian guards wearing strained expressions.

“You can’t—” One of the Vasurian guards tried to stop Callista, but the pure breed soldiers silently pointed their rifles at her and she raised her arms in sign of peace.

“I work for Ginecea under the order of observing how things are done at this waste plant, if rules of safety are followed, if the hygienic requirements are met, etc., etc. To do my job, I must be free to enter facilities and such without being hindered. Is that clear?” Callista’s tone of voice was calm and polite. Her accent was as cultivated as the last time Marie had heard her talking. But the woman was slimmer, she had lost weight, and her eyes were bright. “You can leave now. We don’t need your presence to keep things going. Do we, dear Rane?”

The Vasurian guards looked at the doctor, and three sets of eyebrows rose at the same time.

“I said you can leave. Now.” Callista’s voice rose to high pitch on the last word. For a moment, her cool demeanor was marred by a tinge of heat she couldn’t hide fast enough.

“But—”

“Didn’t you hear what Major Callista said?” One of the pure breed soldiers moved a step ahead, the point of her rifle touching the woman who had just talked.

“It’s okay.” Rane tried to smile, but her words were too shaky to be taken seriously. When nobody moved, the rifle was pointed higher to the woman’s temple. “Please, leave,” Rane said, and the women finally listened. When the door closed behind them, she turned toward Callista. “Congratulations on your promotion. You deserved it, I’m sure.”

Callista’s eyes darted to the new epaulettes shining on her uniform, a flicker of pride illuminating the hard angles of her face. “As a matter of fact, I did. My effort to clean Ginecea of men-lovers and other abominations was finally noticed.”

Marie couldn’t help but shiver and Zena brought her closer.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” Callista walked around the doctor, her steps maddening slow, her hands held behind her back.

“I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again.” Rane trained her eyes on Callista the whole time.

“A nice surprise, don’t you think?” The major stopped before the doctor, the tips of her boots almost touching Rane’s shoes.

She nodded. “A surprise, yes.”

Callista waited a moment and then laughed her trademark humorless, cold laugh. “I always loved the way you play with words and their nuances. You’ve always said so much with so little. Too bad you were born fathered.”

Rane winced. “Why are you here?”

Callista tilted her head and looked at her from that angle, a strange light in her eyes. “To supervise Vasura under Ginecean orders. What else?”

“Then I wouldn’t waste time reminiscing with old friends if I were you.” The doctor pointed at the door.

“You’ve always forgotten your station. I remember a time when I found it amusing.” Callista took her by the elbow. “I could command you to come with me this very moment and nobody would ever ask what happened to you.”

Rane didn’t flinch, but Marie wondered how she could stand upright, when she felt her legs had melted into two liquid pools.

“This is the power I have. Do you understand?” Callista squeezed the doctor’s arm until she cried. “Do you?”

Rane nodded, tears streaming down her face. “What can I do for you?” Her voice was a hoarse whisper.

Marie hated the pure breed already, but her feelings were growing stronger by the second.

“Good girl. Now we truly understand each other. When I need you, I’ll ask for your services.” The major strolled out, a pleased smile on her face. The pure breed soldiers followed her outside as efficiently as they had come in.

The door finally closed and the infirmary came alive again. Marie was grateful the major had never looked at her, not even once.

“What was all that about?” Zena went to Rane, her hands on her arms.

“We have history together.” Rane gently pushed her away and went to sit on one of the chairs under the window. “She’s the reason why Marie and I were sent here.”

“She’s that…?”

“Yes, she’s the former love of my life.” Rane turned to look outside and Marie nodded.

“Well, it’s clear you’re still under her skin.” Zena went to refill the doctor’s cup from a dark bottle sitting on the counter. “Not for you.” She pointed at the bottle and then at Marie, who shrugged. “Here, take some. Pure forgetting nectar. Not diluted.” She took a swig herself and then passed it to Rane, who downed the contents of the cup in one single swallow and then coughed.

She kept coughing for a few seconds, then drew a deep breath and leaned against the windowsill where she laid her forehead on the metal. “She followed me to Redfarm. I should’ve known she would follow me here as well.”

Marie’s thoughts were focused on Grant’s safety and she hoped he had made it to his shelter, out of the pure breeds’ way. She had seen the light in the major’s eyes and it was clear she was hitching to make someone pay for her frustration.

“She’ll leave when her job is done here,” Marie said to reassure herself.

The nurse went to pour a cup for her from the same bottle and then came back and sat on the floor between Marie and the doctor. “Yes, but that’s the point. A supervisor doesn’t have time restrictions.”

Marie was starting to wish she could partake of whatever they were drinking; it looked like it was miraculously calming their nerves, while hers were on the verge of exploding. “But from what I heard, they never stay long. Even the Massacre only lasted—”

“Pure breeds only come here because forced to. They’re promised higher ranks and fortunes on their return, but they stay only long enough to either discover something they can fine us with or to accept a bribe and leave immediately.” Zena drank some more from the cup and then looked at the back of the doctor and sighed. “I have the feeling that for the first time in the history of supervisors, the major volunteered for the job.”

A choked laugh escaped from Rane’s mouth. “I’m unforgettable.”

The nurse’s hand reached up to pat Rane’s leg. “You’re the forbidden fruit.”

This time, they both laughed, leaving Marie out of the joke. “Are the men going to be safe?”

Zena’s eyes focused on her with a certain difficulty. “They should be. As long as they keep out of the way.”

Still leaning with her back to them, Rane tilted her head down to give Marie a look from under her arms and finished the nurse’s thought. “And act as the good old slaves they should be in the major’s mind…”

“And if she stays for months?” Marie couldn’t imagine life anymore with a pure breed army breathing down their necks.

“She could stay for years, but I’m hoping she’ll tire of the new game soon. She did tire of me at Redfarm.” Rane turned and slowly slid down with her back against the wall and gestured to the nurse to pass her the bottle.

Marie remembered that the last time Callista’d had enough of the doctor, she had sent her here to punish her. What next, considering that sending a fathered woman to a waste plant was a death sentence in the Ginecean culture? What would happen when the major discovered the truth about this place? How things didn’t quite happen the way Ginecea thought? She hugged herself. “Yes, we only have to wait.”

The same night, Callista sequestered more than twenty dorms to accommodate her army, plus one for her personal quarters. She had the people forcefully ejected from their beds to clean up the barracks to her standards and sent them to fetch accommodations for themselves after dawn.

Marie was among the ones who became homeless overnight and was kept longer than the others to help the army get comfortable in their new places. She had a feeling it wasn’t a coincidence. She had scrubbed the floor of her ex-dormitory for hours when one of Callista’s minions had declared the place a dump and kicked a bucket full of soapy water upside-down. Her arms aching and the skin on her knees raw, she bit the insult wanting to get out of her mouth and lowered her head.

“Good girl.”

She heard the pure breed’s leer and saw red. She placed one hand on the sponge, wishing it were a knife. In her mind, she had already stabbed the woman several times.

“Maybe I’ll tell you to come to my bed later tonight.” The woman stopped beside her.

Even though Marie couldn’t see her, she felt the soldier’s eyes roaming over her prostrate body and started shaking.

“Shivering in anticipation, I see.” The woman laughed. “I’ll give you a little taste now, so you’ve something to look forward today.” Her hand descended heavily on Marie’s waist to turn her around.

Marie screamed, “Don’t touch me!” and tried to escape the woman’s hold.

“What are you doing?” Callista’s voice echoed behind them and the soldier jumped away from Marie. “You aren’t thinking of laying with a wasted woman, are you?”

Marie scuttled away on all fours, the urge of throwing up only made stronger by the loathing she felt for the major. The woman’s voice by itself was enough to make her sick.

“Are you, Private?” Callista stepped closer to the soldier.

“No… of course not,” the woman stammered and stepped back until the wall stopped her behind her back.

“Good to hear because it would be degrading for a pure breed to touch such filth.” Callista’s attention zeroed in on Marie, disgust altering her elegant features. “Touching a wasted woman is just one step away from laying with a man.”

Marie heard the soldier retching, but she couldn’t turn away from the major’s stare, her hatred matching hers.

“Sometimes, they tempt you, looking like women when they aren’t anymore. Wouldn’t you agree, Private? Is that what was happening a moment ago?” Callista moved her head slightly to include the soldier in her monologue.

The woman shook her head and vehemently denied, too scared to realize what her superior had just told her.

“Wasn’t this…” Callista threw another disgusted look at Marie, and then continued to talk with the soldier. “This filth enticing you?”

The soldier finally grabbed the meaning of her words. “Yes,” she hurried to say. “Yes, she moved seductively to corrupt me. But I was going to discipline her for it.”

Marie watched horrified as the major finally smiled and nodded.

“That’s what I saw, then. Of course. No soldiers of mine would ever stoop so low. Let it be a punishment then. Publicly. So everybody will know the way I intend to run things here.” Callista waited for the woman to drag Marie to her feet. “I saw a lamppost just outside. It will do. But first, we’ll summon the rest of them to witness her flogging.”

The soldier pushed Marie out of the door and she almost fell down the steps and scuffed the guard’s right shoe.

“Look what you’ve done.” The woman spat on the ground at Marie’s feet.

“There.” Callista pointed at the metal post in the middle of the road.

Marie was tied to it by a piece of crude rope the soldier was careful to tighten until it cut the circulation from her fingers. Marie didn’t cry. Her only hope was that Callista would have enough of it soon. But the woman wanted her spectacle and waited for a crowd to form. Marie heard Rane and then Zena call her name, but she closed her eyes, not wanting to see them looking at her. When the private tore away her shirt by ripping it off her back, angry tears rolled from her eyes without her consent. Nora’s cries came along with the second or third lash the soldier imparted on her flesh. Callista had been magnanimous of her tender age and had only ordered five lashes. When the fifth arrived, Marie sank on the ground, hating that the woman had showed her mercy and she had to be grateful because she wasn’t sure she would have been able to bear more. She heard the major ordering her release and the swift sound of a blade cutting through the rope followed. A moment later, eyes still closed in shame, she tried to cover herself with the shredded remains of her shirt.

She felt people slowly surrounding her. “Sweetie, it’s done.” Rane crouched beside her. “Let’s go to the infirmary where I can take a look at you.”

She nodded and tried to stand.

“Let me help you.” Zena took her arm by the elbow and gently pulled her up. “Lean on me. I’d carry you, but it would be too painful for you.”

Someone pushed her way through the crowd. “Marie—” Nora starting sobbing.

Marie opened her eyes to look at her friend and reached for her hand. But a soldier grabbed Nora and forcefully separated her from Marie.

“This is not a social gathering.” The soldier dragged Nora away while she screamed Marie’s name.

Marie blinked the tears away, but her friend was gone. Helped by the nurse, she walked to the infirmary in complete silence. An equally silent crowd followed them two steps behind.