Making it Personal (9 page)

“So?” Blake’s forehead creased. Will was as confused by the statement as he was.

 

“So, I want to be Mrs. Blake Davis.” Melissa smiled.

Will’s heart sank. She had to be fucking kidding. He glanced across at Blake to gauge his reaction. Blake stared at her.

“What on earth makes you think I’d marry
you
?” he retorted, clearly no longer bothering to mask his emotions. “And why would you want to marry someone who’s gay?”

Melissa stared at him, eyes glacial. “Because if you don’t, I’ll make sure
Daddy
dearest finds out exactly what his son gets up to with his handsome PA.” There were those perfect teeth again. “And you can kiss goodbye to running this company. I can’t see Justin Davis letting a
fag
have control of his precious Trinity Publishing. Can
you
?” She eyed Blake appreciatively. “And as for why I’d marry you, I read the papers. I know Trinity is going places. If this company keeps growing the way it has been doing, you’re going to be a very successful, wealthy man. And I want to be right by your side all the way. I quite fancy being the wife of a rich publishing magnate.”

Blake looked as though he’d been punched in the gut. Will’s heart went out to him. He tightened his grip around Blake’s hand, only to have Blake wrench it free. Melissa saw the movement and smiled cruelly. “Clever boy.
Now
you’re thinking sensibly.”

Will’s heart sank.
Oh God, please tell me he’s not even considering it
…

 

“How long do I have to make a decision?” Blake’s voice sounded strangled.

Melissa pretended to consider the question carefully. “Well, it’s Christmas in about three weeks’ time. And New Year a week later. I always think New Year is such a romantic time to announce an engagement, don’t you?” Her eyes glittered. “Well, I’m sure you boys have a lot to discuss, so I’ll leave you to it.” She beamed, as if all the evil she’d just spewed out was the most natural thing in the world. She walked to the door and turned back to face them. Her face hardened. “Make sure you come to the right decision, Blake.” Her eyes met Will’s. “Nothing personal, sweet cheeks. Just so long as you know that when I become Mrs. Blake Davis, you’ll never get your hands on his dick again. I’m not about to be embarrassed in the media by pictures of you two caught unawares.” She tilted her head. “In fact, if I were you? I’d start looking for another job right now. Because once we’re married, you’re out of here.” And with that, she exited the room, leaving Will with the overpowering scent of her perfume and an extremely sour taste in his mouth.

The silence in the room was stifling. Blake stared at the floor, his face ashen. Will ached to comfort him. He waited for Blake to tell him that everything would be all right. When it became clear that no such words would be forthcoming, Will had to sa Sill y something.

“Blake, if there’s anything—”
“I think you’d better go back to your office.”

Will stared in dismay. Blake’s words were uttered in a monotone, his eyes dull. It was as if a door had closed, hiding the Blake he’d come to care for.

“What?”
“You heard me.” Blake’s jaw was clenched. Will heard it. He just couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I’m going to spend the rest of the day reading submissions. I don’t want to be disturbed.” He stared levelly at Will. “Was there anything else?”

Will stiffened. He’d apparently been dismissed. He got to his feet, doing his best to keep his voice even. “No, nothing else.” He walked quickly to the adjoining door, not turning once to look back at his boss. There was no way he wanted Blake to see the tears that were welling in his eyes right now. He entered his office and closed the door behind him, leaning back against it. Sorrow filled him.

I feel like I’ve just lost my best friend
. Even as the thought flashed across his mind, Will knew he was lying to himself.
Don’t you mean, the man you’re falling for
?

Fuck.

 

Chapter Eight

 

“Want to talk about it?”

Lizzie’s melodic voice broke through his thoughts. Will looked up from the computer screen he’d been staring at, unseeing, for the last ten minutes to see her standing in his doorway, an expression of concern etched across her face. He gave her a brief smile.

“Not really.” Her question didn’t surprise him. She was the third person that week to ask him if he wanted to share anything. Rick had been first, of course. Will hadn’t felt like sharing a joke with him— well, with anyone—since that hateful day a week ago. And of course they noticed. There were looks, especially during the morning staff meetings. Anyone with half a brain could spot that something was wrong. And if they were worried about Will, heaven knows what must have been going through their minds about Blake…

“Sorry, but I had to ask.” Lizzie gave a half smile. “We’re all going crazy trying to work out what on earth has happened. Blake is so….” Her words trailed off.

“Blake has a few things on his mind right now,” Will said. “I’m sure it’ll sort itself out. Try not to worry.” He did his best to make his expression reassuring. Lizzie didn’t look entirely convinced, but she shrugged her shoulders and flashed that warm smile once more before leaving him alone.

Will went back to staring at his screen. This week had been awful. Truly awful. Every time he’d been alone with Blake, it had been the same. That sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Dry mouth. Difficulty swallowing. Oh, they were talking, but only about work-related issues. No personal conversations. Gone was the warm banter that he looked forward to each morning. He glanced toward Blake’s office. The door was shut—literally
and
figuratively.

Will leaned on the desk and put his head in his hands. The Melissa debacle had made one thing crystal clear in his mind—Will had fallen for Blake, hook, line and sinker. Every time he looked at his boss, Will wanted to take him in his arms and hold him close. Blake’s tight expression and haunted eyes made Will want to shut out the rest of the world and protect him, keep him safe from anything that would cause him pain. The physical attraction which had been V becaant to so obvious since the night they met hadn’t gone away. Instead, Will felt an emotional connection to the man. Try as he might, he couldn’t think badly of Blake. Will could only guess at the torment he was going through. He couldn’t blame Blake for reacting the way he had. Trinity Publishing was Blake’s life. And when Will weighed up the possible loss of his company, compared to losing a friendship—albeit one with benefits—their relationship must have seemed insignificant in Blake’s eyes.

He shook himself. What he really needed was a decent night’s sleep. All week he’d tossed and turned, sleeping fitfully, waking hours before the alarm. He only needed to look in the mirror to see the toll it was taking on him. The face that stared back at him could have been Blake’s, they both looked so drawn. And Will knew how bad he looked. Even Karen had noticed. Unfortunately, it seemed to have made her more determined to get closer to him, and Will wasn’t sure how much more of this he could stand.

His phone warbled. It was a message from Jenny, asking if he could do an escort job tonight. There was an awards ceremony for a marketing company. Will groaned. This whole business was playing havoc with his other job. Even before Melissa had delivered her ultimatum, Will had turned down any clients who wanted sex. He knew he was turning away much needed funds, but he couldn’t face the prospect of fucking someone who wasn’t Blake. That should have told him how deep his feelings ran. Years of working the streets, having sex with anyone who had the money, had left him able to switch off his emotions. Sure, he could fake it. But along came Blake and bam!—he couldn’t even get it up at the thought of having sex with someone else. And since that dreadful day, his heart wasn’t in it when he was escorting. More than once a client had rung Jenny to complain about his demeanor. This whole business was killing him.
He glanced at his watch. Time for a coffee. He got up and walked along the corridor to the kitchen. Apparently he wasn’t the only one in need of refreshment. Numerous voices spilled out of the room. Was the
whole
team in there? As he entered the kitchen he stifled a groan. Yep. Everyone was standing around drinking coffee and talking among themselves, but all fell quiet as he walked over to the coffee machines. There was an awkward, painful silence. Will poured himself a mug and turned to head back to his office, unable to stand it.

“Will, did you know about our Christmas do?” Will halted. Sighing internally, he turned to Beth. He tilted his head. “Christmas do?”

Beth nodded. “We’re all going out for a meal. We normally do it between Christmas and New Year. The restaurants tend to get booked up fairly heavily before. Would you like to come?” She eyed him anxiously.

“I’d have to check my diary,” Will replied, although he knew that if the present situation continued, being sociable would be the last thing on his mind. “Who’s ‘we’?”

“The team, plus Karen, you… Blake.”
Will’s chest tightened. “Is Blake going?”

Rick’s face was unexpectedly glum. “No one knows. We haven’t exactly brought it up with him.” Will could understand that. Blake had shut himself off from everyone, not just Will.

“I’ll think about it, all right?” Careful nods. Karen entered the kitchen and her eye widened in surprise. Yeah, it was rare to get so many staff in there at once. She caught sight of Will and her expression changed. Will groaned internally as she sidled up to him and stroked his arm softly.

“How are you doing, Will?” Her voice dripped with honey. “Is there an [Ioan.ything I can—”

 

“Oh, for God’s sake, will you just leave me alone?”

Will exploded. Startled gasps greeted his words. He was past caring. “I’m going to say this once, loud and clear so you get the message. I. Am. Not. Interested.” He gritted out the words, watching as Karen’s mouth fell open and her hand flew to her ample chest. “And what’s more, I will
never
be interested. For fuck’s sake, woman, I’m gay!”

The silence that followed his declaration was so thick, it was almost tangible. Karen’s face was white. She swallowed hard. She flinched as if his words were a physical blow, and then she backed away. The team stood there with equally stunned expressions. A sharp intake of breath had Will turning toward the door. Blake stood there, eyes impossibly wide. Oh fuck. Will held his breath as he waited for Blake to say something, but his heart sank as his boss turned on his heel and walked away.

That was it. Will couldn’t take any more. Before anyone could say anything, he put down his mug and fled the room, running to the men’s bathroom and locking himself in a stall. He sat on the toilet lid and put his head in his hands. What the fuck had he just done? He stiffened as he heard the bathroom door open and close, listening as feet approached his stall.

“Will? You in there?” It was Rick. Oh hell. Will didn’t want to talk to him. To anyone. “C’mon, mate, talk to me.” There was an edge to his voice, a note of something that sounded like desperation. Intrigued in spite of himself, Will leaned forward and slid the bolt across, slowly pulling open the door. Rick stood there, eyes miserable, looking decidedly jumpy. A look of relief crossed his face when he saw Will. “Oh mate.” His voice was unsteady. “When you come out… you
come out
!”

Will couldn’t help it. He gave a feeble smile. Rick chuckled.

“You gonna come out here or shall I come in there?” Rick winked. “Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been in a toilet stall with a guy—if you follow my drift.” He locked eyes with Will.

Will barked out a harsh laugh. “I bloody knew it!” Rick laughed. “Yeah, okay, so I’ve been thinking the same about you for a while now.” Will got up and exited the stall. Rick leaned against the wall as Will ran his hands under the hot tap. All of a sudden they were so cold. “You all right, Will?” The look of genuine concern was touching.

Will expelled his tension in one long push of air as he dried his hands. “Yeah.” He’d calmed down a little. Rick was watching him intently. “So… do they know about you?” He flicked his head toward the door.

“Uh-huh. So I’m probably the only person here who was relieved to hear your, er,
declaration
.” His eyes sparkled with humor. “Have you any
idea
what’s it’s been like around here, being the only gay in the village?” They both chuckled at this reference to the comedy
Little Britain
. Rick’s expression grew more serious. “So let’s try this again. You want to talk about it?”

Will gave him a gentle smile. “Much as I would love to, I can’t.”
Rick nodded. He stepped toward him, his eyes never leaving Will’s face. “Of course, I’d hoped I’d got it right about you.” His voice softened. “Do you know how many times I was dying to ask you? The whole situation is so fucking ironic.”

Will cocked his head. “What do you mean?”

Rick chortled. “Well, I’ve been in lust with my boss for six years, for a st [arsWhat art.” Will’s eyes widened. Rick laughed. “Yeah, why are the gorgeous ones always straight? Although now and again, I could’ve sworn…” He shook his head. “Never mind. Waste of time thinking like that.” He gazed into Will’s eyes. “And then
you
turn up, and right from the start you had my gaydar pinging like crazy.” He stroked his fingers along Will’s arm, Rick’s blue eyes never breaking contact with Will’s. “I suppose it would be too much to hope that you’re unattached.” There was a hopeful expression on his face and Will could hear the question Rick was clearly afraid to ask. Oh hell.

“Rick,” Will began, his voice gentle, “I’m…. that is….”

He sighed. “It’s complicated.” Rick’s face fell and Will felt like a complete bastard. In spite of the way Blake was treating him right now, there was this little part of his brain that hoped they’d work through it somehow. Because Will knew he wanted to be with Blake. He let out a heavy sigh. Yeah, complicated was an understatement. He brought his attention back to Rick. He couldn’t lead him on. It wasn’t fair. Those soulful eyes regarded him intently. Will leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “I’m flattered. Really. And for the record, you are
very
cute.”