Look Both Ways (27 page)

She paused to refill Jean’s cup and then continued. “I returned from Atlanta and found that story, and in its aftermath, I exposed a few people at work who wanted to make me the scapegoat for something I knew nothing about. In the end it was not just a matter of believing Willie. What I saw in the future was frightening. Willie is a minister with a large congregation. He’s a man of the people, because—as you said—he cares. There are a lot of people depending on him, and I can handle that. I don’t need constant attention. I understand his commitment and the duties of his profession. What I can’t handle is having those people rumble through our lives.”

“So you didn’t break up with him because you thought he deceived you?”

“At first, but I soon came to understand the role Rev. Otis played in the whole media thing. The ordeal was upsetting for me, and I saw what it did to Will. He was trying to balance his responsibility to Cedargrove, his beliefs, and our relationship. I didn’t want to think of another failed marriage.”

“Do you still feel that way?”

“I had made up my mind before leaving for Thanksgiving in Canton that I would allow our feelings to chart the course. The impact he has had on my life is overwhelming. I couldn’t imagine happiness with anyone else. I still can’t.”

“What about Marc Paxton? Terri said you two were at the concert together. Marc is one of those men every woman wants.”

“Marc is a wonderful, sweet, and loving man. I only found two things wrong with him. He’s terrified of cats.” She smiled at the image of Marc cowering against her living room wall. “The other thing is…he’s not Willie.”

Jean dried her eyes. “Thank you for understanding. I’ll tell my parents and Auntie that you’re coming to see him. If his love for you is as strong as what you described, he’ll come back to you.”

Watching her walk to the elevator, Susan hoped and prayed that Jean was right.

CHAPTER 11

Susan punched three numbers on the telephone and spoke softly into the mouthpiece. “Angie, please come to my office. You’ll never believe what just happened.” While waiting for Angie, she thought of Jean’s words and felt her heart sink.
The doctors have given up.

“What’s going on?” Angie ran in, breathless.

Susan told her about Jean’s visit and the doctors’ prognosis.

“So what are you still doing here? Go to him.”

“I’ve got a meeting with Chance at one, and another appointment an hour later. I can’t leave now.” Her head and heart were both pounding. “We spent one weekend together, but I feel as if I’m losing someone who has been a part of my life forever. I don’t know if I can go there and not fall apart.”

“I’ll go with you if you like, but you have to go.”

“Excuse me, Miss Cross. I’m sorry to interrupt, but there’s someone here to see you,” Ann said, standing in the doorway. “Mrs. Cross.”

Susan leaped up. “Mom! Oh, Mom, I’m so happy to see you. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“Because you would have talked me out of it, and I knew you needed someone here with you.”

“Mrs. Cross, my name is Angie, and if you hadn’t come, I was going to start calling every Cross in Ohio until I found you. Your daughter is as stubborn as a mule, but I’m sure you know that.”

Susan introduced her mother to her new best friend, and then recounted the latest news about Will’s condition.

“Susan has an appointment she can’t cancel,” Angie said. “I’m starving, so please join me for lunch while she finishes her work.”

“Thanks, Angie. I am a little hungry.”

“Try to stay calm while we’re gone,” Angie told Susan. “We’ll bring you something back. You have to eat.” She looked at Tammy. “I want to get your phone number before you leave—all of your numbers.”

Susan settled back in her chair thinking of the ‘do not resuscitate’ sticker on Will’s chart. By the time Angie and Tammy returned, she had concluded her last appointment, cleared her desk, and was ready to leave for the hospital. She took a few bites of the sandwich they brought her, locked her door, and helped Tammy with her bags.

“I’ve heard things are bigger in Texas, but I didn’t know that also meant the heat. It feels like I landed south of the equator.” Tammy removed her jacket and threw it on top of her overcoat in the back seat. “Angie said you were just invited back to the hospital, so I guess I sharpened my claws for nothing. I know the Cartwright family is suffering, but that’s no reason for that woman to treat you the way she did.”

“It’s okay, Mom. We had a long talk, and I think we understand each other better now. I’d be a raving maniac if something like this happened to Charles or Bobby. You know that.”

Tammy brought her up-to-date on things back home. “Your baby brother is so happy with his new wife. He thinks they’ll end up in Houston at some point. I want that same happiness for you, and I know you’ll have it, with or without Will.”

When they arrived in the hospital’s intensive care wing, Susan found Rev. Cartwright standing next to his wheelchair. Seeing him on his feet for the first time, she felt hopeful and proud.

“There’s Rev. Cartwright. Come on, Mom.” She rushed to his side. “Rev. Cartwright, it’s great to see you standing, sir. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling fine physically. I’m just so worried about my boy.” He took her hand. “I’m glad you came.”

“I want you to meet my mother.” She looked around for Tammy. “She was right behind me. She probably had to go to the restroom.”

“Mom?” Susan turned around and looked down the hallway. “She didn’t go that way. I would have seen her.”

“Some people are frightened of hospitals. I’ll certainly understand if she is.”

Susan spotted the formidable Tammy Cross huddled against a wall. “There’s no chance of that. She’s a scrub nurse. Mom, come meet Rev. Cartwright.”

Tammy shook her head and Susan walked over and tugged at her sleeve. “What’s the matter with you? Why are you acting this way?”

Tammy followed, but kept her eyes down.

“Mom, this is Will’s father, Rev. Cartwright Sr. Sir, this is my mother, Tammy Cross.”

Standing in her daughter’s shadow, Tammy took his hand. “Hello, Will. I’m sure you don’t remember me, but we met a very long time ago.”

He looked up, squinting and frowning. “How do you do? Your name is Tam…wait a minute…not Tammy Spears? It can’t be.”

Susan watched, bewildered, as Rev. Cartwright stood tall and took her mother’s hand.

“Baby, you go on in and see Willie,” he suggested. “The rest of the family went down to the cafeteria. I just couldn’t stand to smell that hospital food. It was bad enough when I was in here. Go on in. Stay as long as you want.”

Susan turned and walked away, but glanced back in amazement and wondered how they could possibly know each other. Hesitating at first, she pushed the door open and prayed. Will seemed agitated. He rustled against the sheets and his eyes blinked with great rapidity, but failed to focus. Trying to remember what Angie had said, she strained to bring his smile to mind, to think of happy times to come.

“Hello, Will, it’s Susan. I know you can hear me, so I want you to try very hard to focus on my face.” She leaned down to him. “I’m here with you. I love you, Will. I’ll always love you. Please wake up. We’ve got a lot of life ahead of us. A lot of happiness. Please wake up, Willie Joe. I love you so much.”

She thought she saw a glimmer of consciousness in his eyes, but knew it was only wishful thinking. “My mother is here. I’ll bring her in later. She and your father know each other. I’m not sure how that happened, but I’ll find out. Jean came to see me today. I think she understands how much I love you, how much I need you in my life. I’ll never find another man to make me feel the way you do. I don’t want anyone but you. You’ve got to come back to me, sweetheart. You’ve got to let me show you how much I love you.”

The swelling had gone down and, except for the beard and a couple of scratches on his face, he looked much as he had before. One side of his mouth drooped slightly, but the big difference was his blank stare. She leaned down and kissed his forehead and remembered Angie’s advice.

“I hope you wake up soon, because Angie has already spoken to a cousin of hers that makes the most beautiful wedding gowns in the world. I trust her taste, but I don’t really care about the wedding. I just want you in my arms.”

She passed her hand over his face, hoping his gaze would sharpen, but it did not.

“Look at me, Will, please look at me.”

She leaned over for a final kiss and felt him move under her.

“Will? Did you try to move your arm? I know you can hear me. Your parents are outside. Your father is doing much better. I left him standing next to his wheelchair and talking with my mother. It would mean so much to be able to go out there and tell him you’re responding. Please try, baby. Please.”

She stared at his blank eyes.

“You have to come back to us. If you don’t, Angie is going to be really disappointed. She never had a wedding, so the one she’s planning for us is very special to her. She also knows how much I love you.”

She touched his chapped lips with her fingers. “I want to kiss you so badly right now. I want to feel your arms around me again. It was the greatest feeling I’ve ever had. It can’t end this way, Will. Please hear me.”

His eyes held hers for only a brief second, but she thought there was recognition.

“In the short time we were together, you loved me better than I could hope to be loved. I’ll wait for you, Will. I love you so much.”

She kissed his forehead over and over, hating to leave but wondering what was going on out in the hallway. The fact that Rev. Cartwright and her mother had a history was shocking; Tammy had never mentioned it.

The two of them were standing close together behind Rev. Cartwright’s wheelchair and speaking softly. The conversation appeared private and intense. Susan was fascinated. Her mother was smiling coyly, the way she did when Ralph whispered in her ear.

Susan turned in the opposite direction and took the elevator down to the gift shop. There was nothing she wanted, but a couple of gift items with the Rockets logo and one from NASA caught her eye. Her father had a garage wall covered with mementoes from around the globe, so she purchased one of everything they had. She also knew that present circumstances notwithstanding, Tammy Cross would never visit a city with great shopping facilities without buying as much as she could get away with.

The Cartwright family, including Uncle Chitty, had returned to the waiting room when Susan went back upstairs, and Rev. Cartwright was making the introductions.

“It’s good to meet you, Mrs. Cross,” Mrs. Cartwright said, hugging Tammy. “I know my boy will get better and we’ll all be family, so it’s best that we meet now rather than during the wedding. Those events are so hectic.”

“I don’t want a big wedding. Will and I were both married before. As I told him, I’ve had a fancy wedding. Now I want a wonderful marriage.” Susan looked back at Rev. Cartwright. “I know he’s going to be well and when he is, I don’t see how I’ll ever be able to leave his side.”

“Did you get any response?” Mrs. Whitehead asked.

Susan wanted to say she thought he had moved and that he may have tried to speak, but dared not raise their hopes in vain. “Not really. He was fidgeting quite a bit. His expression changed several times. I thought I saw deliberate movement, but I’m not sure.”

“Amy thought he moved his fingers earlier, but the doctor said it was just a nervous twitch,” Rev. Cartwright said.

“Yeah, I experienced that as well.” Susan added. “I just know he hears me. His eyes seemed to focus for a second. He heard me. I just know.”

Mrs. Cartwright and Tammy chatted about Will and Susan’s romance, and Uncle Chitty had found a new attraction in Tammy. Unfortunately for him, she did not accept his flirtation as well as Susan had.

“Oh, I know you didn’t pinch me.” Tammy spun around with her open hand poised for a slap. “I’m sorry, but I can’t seem to remember your name.”

“Just call me Chitty. I’ll never forget your name, Tammy, baby.”

Susan watched a smile stretch across her mother’s face when she lowered her voice and spoke close to Chitty’s ear. Susan and Mrs. Whitehead could hear her words, which belied the sweetness of her smile.

“It’s good that we’re in a hospital because if you pinch me again, old man, I’m going to break every bone in your arm. If you like your fingers, you’d better keep them in your pocket. Where is your wife? I know you have one. I’m sure she would want me to slap the salt out of you.”

Susan did not react until she saw Mrs. Whitehead’s grin.

“It doesn’t surprise me that your mother would be the one to set Chitty straight. He’s always been that way. He doesn’t mean anything.” She frowned. “At least I don’t think he does.”

When Tammy began yawning, Susan stood to leave, but went into Will’s room to make a final, desperate plea.

“My mom is here, sweetheart.” She sat on the edge of the bed and stroked his hand. “She and your family are getting along just fine. Except for Uncle Chitty. He really is a lecherous old dude, but Mom can handle him. She’ll probably slap the stew out of him before she leaves.”

His head moved slightly toward her, but his eyes remained walled and unfocused.

“I have to go now. Mom has had a long day, and she’s getting sleepy. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Look at me, Will. Let me know you can hear me. Please come back to me while my mother is here, so she can meet the man who stole her daughter’s heart.”

Feeling the weight of her concern, she kissed his cheek and left.

* * *

“They all seem nice,” Tammy commented when they were in the car. “That one sister is a little bossy, but Willie’s mother is—”

“Cut the crap, Mom. Why didn’t you tell me you knew Rev. Cartwright? How do you know him, and please don’t say what I think you’re going to say.”

“It was a long time ago,” Tammy shrugged. “I didn’t think he would remember me.”

“Well, he did, Tammy Spears. Even if he hadn’t, that’s no reason for you not to tell me. How did the two of you meet?”

“When I tell you, you’ll understand why I never admitted knowing him.” She wiped her hand across her furrowed brow. “Don’t ever repeat a word of this to your father or anyone in the Cartwright family—not even Willie. I was sixteen at the time, and we were on spring break. Mama tried to get me interested in college by sending me to spend a weekend on campus with your Aunt Estelle. I went to a protest rally with her, her roommate, and these two young men from Howard. One of them was a young and incredibly handsome Willard Cartwright.”

Susan gasped.

“Before the evening was over, Estelle’s friend, Frieda, left the four of us and never came back. Since Estelle and this other boy were paired off, that left Will and me. I was completely awed by him, and he thought I was another college student. Imagine how I felt. Sixteen years old, in D.C., and hanging out with the college crowd. We spent the entire weekend together. All of it. I never told Will my age, but I was stupid enough to give him my phone number. I never thought he would call, but he did.”

“Wait a minute. Back up. You spent the weekend with Rev. Cartwright doing what?”

“Let’s just say Will Cartwright put the divine in divinity, okay? I was so young and stupid. I couldn’t get over the fact that a handsome college man could mistake me for nineteen. He was so sweet. He even said he loved me, and I damn near fainted.”

“This is incredible. How am I supposed to act when we’re all together? I’m surprised someone didn’t suspect something in there tonight. They would have if they had seen the look on your face, and his.”

“Susan, listen to yourself. That was…let’s see, I was sixteen, I’m now…”

She mumbled, and Susan remembered that Tammy would never tell her age.

“Let’s just say it was long before you or Will were born. When we’re all together, just act like nothing ever happened. That’s what I intend to do.”

“Okay, so what happened next?”

“He called and your grandmother hit the ceiling. She told him I was sixteen and not yet allowed to date, especially a twenty-two-year-old divinity student.”