Linda Ford (6 page)

Or was it an excuse so he could take care of her?

He glanced up, saw her watching and slowly straightened.

Her eyes must have given away her doubt and confusion for he climbed from the hole and strode toward her.

She shook her head to clear it, and ducked into the shack where she made a great deal of noise pulling out a bowl so she could set the yeast to rise.

“Cassie? Something wrong?” His voice came from the doorway.

“The biscuits sold like hotcakes. Macpherson was very pleased. Asked if I could start providing bread.” No doubt she sounded falsely cheerful.

It took only three steps for him to close the distance between them. “That’s good news. So why do you look so troubled?”

She could deny it, tell him he must be imagining things. But her doubts had a tenacious grip on her thoughts. She straightened and slowly faced him. “Why are you doing this?”

He looked around, not knowing what she meant and searching for a clue. “Doing what?”

She waved her hand around the little shack, then pointed to indicate the activity beyond the canvas walls. “Everything. Why are you digging a cellar? Offering to build my house? What do you expect in return?”

He stepped back and his eyebrows knotted. “Cassie Godfrey, you are one suspicious woman. I told you what I want—to help the children. I grew up in an orphanage. Never knew anything about family. I saw kids ripped from their siblings. Do you think I could stand back and let that happen to these youngsters when I could do something to prevent it?” His voice had grown harsh. “I’m more than willing to dig your cellar and build your house if it enables me to help them. I thought you understood that.”

She sighed. “Family isn’t the ideal dream you seem to think it is.”

“And yet I doubt it’s the curse you seem to consider it.” He swung about and strode from the shack.

She stared after him. Was that what she thought?

Her earliest memories had been pleasant enough but then... She shook her head. She didn’t know what she thought. Except that she intended to have a batch of bread ready to deliver tomorrow.

She set to work, pausing only to make supper and hurrying through the meal so she could return to her baking, though, if she admitted the truth to herself, she wasn’t half as busy as she acted.

She simply did not want to face Roper any more than she must and feel guilty about his accusing looks. No. She’d keep busy running her business and she’d not allow anything to divert her from her purpose.

* * *

As soon as breakfast was over the next morning, Roper headed for the cellar hole, his insides burning with frustration. Prickly Cassie, always seeing ulterior motives. She’d avoided him last evening. He’d hoped for a change in her behavior at breakfast but she’d slid her glance over him as if he were invisible.

“I hope my bread turns out,” she murmured as if nothing else mattered.

Before he reached the cellar, he veered off toward the river. In his present frame of mind he wasn’t decent company for a young lad. He grabbed his rifle. They could always use fresh meat. On second thought...

He hitched the horse to the wagon.

Neil appeared at his side. “Whatcha doing?”

“Need to take the wagon back to the ranch and get my saddle horse.” Eddie had told him to help Cassie if she’d let him so he wouldn’t have been concerned when Roper didn’t immediately return.

“You coming back?”

At the sound of fear and uncertainty in the boy’s voice, Roper’s anger fled. “I’m not about to ride out on you.” He clamped his hand to Neil’s shoulder. “I said I was going to build Cassie’s house and I will. I said I would look after you until your uncle came and I will. Never doubt it. But I need a saddle horse to hunt meat for us.”

Neil nodded.

Billy and the girls watched him from the trees. “I’ll be back. Take care of yourselves and help Cassie.” He spoke out of his own heart’s desire. He wanted to take care of them all...but Cassie didn’t want his help.

He closed his eyes and willed his inner turmoil to settle. He had nothing against a woman having a business if she had the hankering. But Cassie’s desire went beyond what was necessary or expedient. She seemed set on proving something. He had no idea what.

“You gonna tell Cassie you’re going?” Neil asked.

“I’ll let you.”

“You should tell her yourself,” Daisy interjected, sounding quite certain.

The four watched him closely.

“Ma always said—” Neil started.

Here we go again. Them wanting him and Cassie to act like their ma and pa. He didn’t want to disappoint them but he had no idea how to be a pa any more than he had a hankering to put down roots. A no-name cowboy didn’t expect to belong any place for long. As he’d said to Cassie, he liked being able to say when, where and with whom. “If it will make you happy.” He knew his voice revealed his frustration as soon as Daisy clutched Pansy closer and Neil reached for Billy’s hand. He was getting as prickly as Miss Cassie.

If such a little thing eased their minds, he could do it graciously. “You’re right. I should tell her.” He flashed them a grin as he tromped back up the hill to the shack where pots and pans clattered. Hat in hand, he paused in the doorway.

Cassie glanced up, saw him and pointedly returned to her work.

“I’m going to take the wagon back to the ranch and get a saddle horse.”

Her hands stilled. He felt her indrawn breath.

“Do you want to come along? You and the youngsters?”

She didn’t look directly at him but he caught a flash of eagerness. Then it disappeared, and she grunted. “Thought you were taking the wagon back.”

“Uh-huh.” Of course, he couldn’t bring them back on a saddle horse. “Eddie might be willing to lend us a wagon.”

“No need. I can’t go. I’ve got work to do.” She nodded at the bowl of dough and set of bread pans. “Check and see how Linette is, though, if you don’t mind, and say hi to Grady for me.”

“I can do that. You’ll be okay until I get back?”

That brought her about so fast he chuckled.

“I think I can manage just fine, thank you.”

“See you later, then.” He was still chuckling as he returned to the wagon and bid the youngsters goodbye.

* * *

Later, he pulled the wagon onto the Eden Valley Ranch property and drove past the ranch house. From the dining room window overlooking the yard, he saw Linette watching and waved. At least she was feeling well enough to be up and about.

Eddie trotted from the barn. “Roper. Nice to see you back. Are you here to stay?”

“No. Sorry, boss, but you won’t believe what I’ve been doing.”

“Tell me about it. No, wait. You better come to the house and tell Linette at the same time.”

Roper jumped from the wagon and fell in step with Eddie as they headed up the path to the house. “How’s Linette?” When he left, Eddie was worried that she was so sick.

“She’s fine.”

“Good to see you grinning from ear to ear. Not all hangdog like you were when I left.”

Eddie laughed. “She tells me she’s in the family way. That’s why she’s ill.”

Roper ground to a halt. He wasn’t sure how a man should respond. “You seem happy.” The idea of family filled him with a queasy feeling. It seemed an unnecessary risk.

“I feel like I’m walking on air.”

“You don’t mind that she’s sick?”

“Linette assures me it’s normal and temporary as her body adjusts to the new life growing in her.”

Roper grinned. “Eddie Gardiner a papa! Now won’t that be something?” He couldn’t wait to tell Cassie the news.

Eddie grinned wide enough to split his face. “It will certainly be something to behold.” They reached the house and Eddie threw open the door.

Linette waited in the entrance, the picture of health.

“You’re looking good,” Roper said.

“I’m feeling fine. Better than fine.” She sent Eddie a look full of love and adoration.

A hollow hunger hit Roper’s gut and sucked at his soul. He pushed away the feeling. It was enough that Eddie and Linette were happy, he told himself. He was glad for them.

Linette led the way into the cozy room with big windows allowing a view of the ranch buildings. “Have you been with Cassie all this time?” she asked as they sat at the big table.

“I have and you wouldn’t believe why. She sure didn’t want me to stay and help but...”

Linette served tea and cookies as he told of finding the children and his agreement with Cassie.

“Boss, I’ll be needing time off to help with the kids.”

Eddie nodded. “Take as much time as you need. Your job will be waiting.”

“I’m so grateful it’s worked out that way. I’ve been praying God would somehow make it so Cassie would get help. She’s so...”

Roper sighed. “Prickly.”

Linette chuckled. “Actually I was thinking independent. She once told me she didn’t feel she could trust anyone. Or was it only men she didn’t trust? I can’t remember but once she figured out how to start her own business she was set on proving she didn’t need any help.”

“She’s still set on doing so.”

Grady burst into the room. “Hi, Roper.” He looked about. “Where’s Cassie?”

“I left her in town. Remember, she said she was going to live there.”

Grady climbed to Linette’s lap and snuggled close.

Roper had often observed that Linette gave the child as much comfort as he sought. Grady was fortunate. He could have been placed in an orphanage. Roper had no complaints about his upbringing—he’d been fed and housed and taught to read and write. Even been taught about God. But he couldn’t remember ever having a lap to welcome him. He couldn’t even imagine how it would have felt.

“We’ll visit her soon,” Linette promised Grady.

After a few minutes the boy got down and found a collection of carved animals to play with.

Linette leaned closer. “Tell me more about the children and how Cassie is doing.”

Roper told her everything he could think of. Even remembered to mention that Cassie was taking biscuits to the store and was busy baking bread for Macpherson to sell.

“Sounds like she’s getting into business sooner than she thought possible, thanks to your help.”

He shrugged a little. Too bad Cassie wasn’t as appreciative as Linette.

Linette turned to consult Eddie. “She’ll be needing some supplies. Potatoes, carrots. Some meat. Do you think Cookie would part with some of the jarred beef she did up?”

Eddie chuckled. “I think if I mention sending something for Cassie, Cookie will load a wagon to the limit.” He turned to Roper. “Come along. Let’s see what we can find.”

They found plenty. Enough to see Cassie through much of the summer unless she started feeding huge crews. Roper took time to visit with Cookie and Bertie and the cowboys still around the place, then headed back to town with a full wagon and a saddle horse tied to the back.

Roper didn’t mind in the least that he’d returned with the wagon he’d meant to leave at the ranch. His only regret was he hadn’t insisted Cassie come with him. Next time he would.

He glanced back at all the supplies. It eased his mind to know she’d have plenty of provisions even when he couldn’t bring in game. There was no way she could reject these gifts. Because he wasn’t taking them back.

The wagon rattled as he drove toward home.

Home? Guess he was so used to calling any place he hung his hat home, so it naturally followed this was home for the time being. But the word had a more satisfying feel to it than a hat rack. Probably because he had youngsters to care for and a house to build.

Suddenly he realized it was the closest to home he’d ever known even if it was only temporary. Something pinched the back of his stomach. A sensation of intermingled regret, sorrow, hope and—

He’d long ago learned the futility of wishing upon stars or anything else, so he abandoned that way of thinking and turned his thoughts to estimating how long it would take to dig the cellar at the rate they were going.

Lost in his planning, he was surprised when he reached Cassie’s bit of land.

No one raced out to greet him as he pulled to a halt, which provided a sharp reminder that this was not home. Then he heard Pansy’s heart-wrenching cries. He bolted from the wagon and raced toward the sound.

Chapter Five

F
rom the moment she’d watched Roper ride away, the wagon rumbling over the rutted trail, Cassie had been apprehensive. She was alone. Unless she counted the children, Macpherson, the smithy down the road and the riders who had come to town shortly after Roper left. No, she wasn’t alone. Nor was she lonely.

And Roper had promised to return. The words came from a forbidden corner of her brain.

What difference did it make if he did or not? She could manage quite well by herself. But his words of promise embedded in her mind like warm sweets.

Even her busy hands did not keep her from wondering when Roper would be back. Only, she silently insisted, so she could hear news of Linette and the others at the ranch.

She marched outside for wood, and had her arms full when something tickled her skin. “What’s on my arm?” she asked Daisy who hovered nearby.

Daisy squealed and backed away. “A—A—” She couldn’t speak but her eyes spoke volumes. Mostly stark fear.

Her near panic was contagious, and Cassie dropped the load and backed away, watching as a snake writhed out from the wood Cassie had recently held close to her chest.

Cassie shuddered and swiped her hands over her chest and hair. “I hate snakes.” She shuddered again and backed away from the woodpile. But she needed more wood. “Maybe Neil can get me some wood.” She tipped her head toward the nearby trees. “I’m sure there’s lots scattered about for the picking.” But neither of them moved.

After Daisy called him, the boy stuck his head from the cellar hole that he continued to work on. “Can you get Cassie some firewood?”

He climbed from the hole. “There’s a whole stack of it. Me and Roper made sure there was plenty on hand for several days.”

Daisy and Cassie glanced at each other and shuddered. “There’s a snake in there,” Daisy said.

Neil shrugged. “Who cares about a little bitty snake? Come on, Billy. Let’s get some wood for these sissies.” He headed for the woodpile.

Cassie shivered. “It wasn’t little. It was huge. And maybe poisonous.”

Neil skidded to a halt. “How big?”

Daisy held out her arms to indicate a very large snake.

Neil edged away, reaching toward Billy and pushing him back, as well. “We’ll get some from the trees.” He kept his eyes on the woodpile until he was a good distance away.

Cassie could hardly contain her shudders as she returned to the shack, tiptoeing so she wouldn’t wake Pansy. She opened the oven door slowly, grateful it didn’t squeak. The biscuits looked fine.

In a few minutes, the boys returned with their arms loaded, and Cassie had them put some wood in the stove.

“I’m not afraid of snakes, you know,” she told them with mock confidence. Then she boldly marched to the stove and set the lid in place. “Thanks, boys, now I can get back to work.”

Only it wasn’t as simple as she hoped. Some of the wood must have been green for the stove smoked, the heat was uneven and she burned one side of a tray of biscuits.

The heat in the little shack grew oppressive but an hour later she had another tray of biscuits and bread baked a golden brown. She dusted her hands and looked about with satisfaction at all she’d accomplished.

Outside, sounds of the children playing came from the river. Knowing they didn’t need her supervision she grabbed a spade and climbed into the cellar hole. Time to show she could manage on her own. With heartfelt determination, she set to work. The ground was hard and unyielding. After what seemed like hours, she’d made little progress. How did Roper manage to get the hole almost five feet deep in such a short time?

Roper. Who needed him? She jabbed the shovel into the ground sending a jarring shudder through her arms and into her shoulder joints. She hadn’t asked him for his help. Didn’t need him to dig a cellar for her. Gritting her teeth, she jumped on the top of the metal blade, bouncing until the blade edged into the rocklike ground. The wooden handle burned into her palms but she didn’t relent until the dirt loosened.

Sweat beaded her forehead and soaked her chest. She ignored it. A woman must learn to manage on her own. Depending on a man made her vulnerable. Worse, it put her at his mercy.
You owe me. You have no choice. I say when and where.
Her heart threatened to burst with rage and sorrow. Her mother had jumped when Grandfather said jump. She’d given up every right even to her own opinion.

Cassie would never do the same. Never. She bent over the handle of the shovel, welcoming the pain in her blistered palms. Pain proved she was taking care of herself.

“Why don’t you wait for Roper?”

At the child’s voice she looked up to see Billy looking down into the hole. “I can do it myself.” She tackled another bit of hard soil.

“You ain’t getting much done.”

“Thanks, Billy. Just the encouragement I need.”

“Roper would do a hundred times faster ’n that.”

“Probably he would.” She grunted under a scoop of dirt. Seems each shovelful grew heavier. “But he isn’t here and I am.”

“He’s coming back.”

“Guess so. But this is my house. My cellar. My life. I can manage fine on my own.”

Billy was quiet a moment. “I wouldn’t like to be on my own.” His voice was soft, tight with fear or perhaps sorrow.

Cassie paused, wiped her face on a corner of her skirt and grimaced at her blistered palms. “You’ve got your sisters and your brother so I guess you don’t have to worry about it.” Would siblings have made life easier for her? Likely not. They would have only given Grandfather more ammunition to use against her mother. But maybe if she had a brother or sister they could be partners—

She didn’t need a partner.

Pansy started to cry and both Cassie and Billy turned toward the sound, listening as Daisy soothed the little one. Only Pansy wasn’t being soothed and her wails intensified. After several shrieks, Cassie climbed from the hole and went over to Daisy who held her struggling, screaming little sister. “What’s wrong?”

Daisy’s eyes filled with distress. “I don’t know. She just won’t stop crying.” Indeed, Pansy threw her head back and refused Daisy’s attempts to comfort her.

“Is she hurt?” Cassie had to raise her voice to make herself heard.

“Don’t think so. I was right there and all of a sudden she started to cry.” Daisy bounced her sister but the way Pansy flailed about, Cassie feared she would fling herself from Daisy’s arms.

“You better sit down before she falls.”

Daisy struggled to hold the crying child as they moved to the table.

“Did you see anything?” Cassie asked Neil. “Maybe a snake?” She shuddered.

Neil shook his head.

Daisy’s eyes widened and she quickly examined Pansy. “I don’t see any bite marks.”

“What’s going on?” Roper’s voice startled Cassie. She hadn’t heard him approach. And her relief at seeing him overrode all her fierce arguments. Only, she excused herself, because she hoped he might have a solution to Pansy’s distress.

“We can’t get Pansy to stop crying.”

Roper reached for the little girl but she pushed him away and screeched. “Is she hurt?” he asked.

“We don’t know,” Cassie said, her voice raised to be heard over the toddler’s cries.

Tears welled in Daisy’s eyes. “If only Ma or Pa were here. They’d know what to do.”

Cassie studied the three young faces, all wreathed with concern for their little sister. Each set of lips quivered. Mention of their parents under the circumstances looked like it might release a flood of sorrow.

It was a loss they would have to live with the rest of their lives and nothing would change that. Best they figured out how to do it. She pushed to her feet. “Look, there’s no point in wanting things you can’t have. About all you can do is fix what you can. Make the here and now work.”

“How are we supposed to do that when Pansy won’t stop crying?” Daisy looked about ready to wail herself.

“I’ll show you.”

Roper kept trying to get Pansy’s attention by clapping his hands and playing peek-a-boo. Cassie figured it did little but make the child scream louder.

Seemed obvious to Cassie this was one time trying to make people laugh wasn’t going to work for him. She strode over to the shack where she scooped up a plateful of biscuits, a table knife and the can of syrup and returned to the table. “Sometimes the simplest solution is the most effective. Who likes syrup on their biscuits?”

The two boys plunked down on the bench across the table from her. Both eagerly said, “I do.”

She prepared them each a biscuit. “How about you, Daisy? Would you like one?”

Daisy looked doubtful.

Cassie tilted her head toward Pansy.

Daisy understood what Cassie hoped to do and nodded. “Yes, please.”

Cassie prepared another biscuit and handed it to Daisy who took it with one hand and bit into it.

“Umm. Good.”

Pansy watched, her cries less intense.

“Roper?”

“Sure. A man can always stand a biscuit or two.” He emphasized the last word and Cassie dutifully prepared two.

She did another, put it on a plate and set it on the table to one side of Daisy. “How about you?” she asked Pansy.

Pansy sobbed—a sad sound that tore at Cassie’s heart. The little girl shuddered twice, then wriggled from Daisy’s arms to sit beside her.

Cassie realized they all sat motionless, biscuits held before them as they watched and waited to see if Pansy would decide to eat or continue crying.

Pansy sucked back a sob, then took a bite of her biscuit.

A collective sigh escaped and they all turned back to the food. The quiet was blissful.

“Maybe she was sad,” Daisy said.

“I think you’re right.” Cassie thought the whole lot of them had accepted being orphans without much fuss though once or twice she’d seen them huddled together and expected they shared their sorrow with each other.

The biscuit finished, Pansy’s bottom lip quivered.

Cassie jumped to her feet. “Who’d like tea?”

Three children chorused, “Me.”

So she made tea, poured canned milk into the children’s weak tea and waited a couple of minutes to pour stronger tea for herself and Roper.

He watched her as if he wanted to say something. His patient intensity made her nervous. Was something wrong at the ranch?

“How is Linette?”

“Looking fit as a fiddle. Practically glows with health.”

“Oh, good. I was a little worried when I left but she insisted I should proceed with my plans.”

“She and Cookie sent you some things.” He waved toward the wagon, which she hadn’t noticed until now.

“I thought you were leaving it at the ranch.”

He chuckled. “Needed it again. Come see.”

The children had moved away to play quietly in a circle as if afraid to get too far from each other. Pansy no longer cried but occasionally shuddered.

Cassie watched them a moment, then she followed Roper to the wagon. She nearly gasped when she saw it full of supplies. “My goodness. I can’t take all this. I have to—”

Roper’s smile flattened. “Manage on your own? Do you have to, or do you insist on it?”

“I can’t repay it.”

“Who’s asking you to? Cookie, Linette, Eddie and yes, me, we just want to help. We want you to succeed, to be happy.”

She couldn’t look at him. The words sounded nice. Comforting even. But where did helping end and owing begin? And what was she to do with all these supplies? There were jars of canned beef—Cookie’s specialty—and potatoes, carrots, turnips, pickles, onions. With all this, she would be able to start offering excellent meals to paying guests. And, tucked away in the corner of the wagon, was a batch of Cookie’s excellent cinnamon rolls. Her mouth watered at the prospect.

“Don’t refuse help, Miss Prickly Cassie.”

She finally met Roper’s eyes. The teasing and kindness she saw there made her mouth feel parched. Made her eyes watery and her throat scratchy. “Can kindness really be given without strings attached?”

She hadn’t meant to ask the question aloud but it was too late to stop the words from speeding from her mouth.

Roper chuckled. “I think you know the answer.” He sobered and studied her. “Seems to me someone in your past has taught you otherwise, exacted a price of some sort when they gave a gift, but there are lots of people in this world who give out of love and concern. I think you know a few if you would just let yourself believe it.”

His gaze went on and on, turning over rock-solid arguments in her mind, lapping at memories of her grandfather’s miserly help.

She worried her lips, unable to divert her eyes from his intense gaze. She tried to tell herself she didn’t see things she longed for in his eyes. From a deep well of doubt she brought forth a snort and returned her gaze to the contents of the wagon. “I’ll find a way to pay for it.”

Roper sighed long and hard. “I’ll let you tell Linette yourself. She said she’ll visit soon. Said it would do Grady good to play with other children.”

Grady. She missed the little guy and would be glad to see him. Linette, too. She was the closest Cassie had ever had to a friend. The closest she’d ever allowed. Cookie, too. Tears burned her eyes. She reached for the cinnamon buns. “The children are in for a real treat.”

“I take it you’re going to accept this gift?”

“Can’t hardly send it back, can I?”

He chuckled. “Wouldn’t make a speck of sense to even try.”

“So we might as well unload it.”

He grabbed a box of jarred beef. “Show me where.”

They crammed most of the supplies into the shack crowding it even more. She desperately needed her house finished but her own efforts had done little to accomplish it. She stole a glance at her palms.

Roper noticed and caught her wrists. “What in the world have you done?”

She tried to snatch her hands away but his gentle hold was unrelenting. “Did some work.”

“What sort of work?” His narrowed gaze filled with suspicion. “Tell me you weren’t trying to dig out the cellar.”

“Okay, I won’t.”

He made a noise rife with exasperation. “You need to take care of these hands. Come on, I have something in my saddle bags.”

“I’m fine.” Again she tried to extract herself but he led her from the shack and out to the table, completely ignoring her torrent of protests.