Leopard's Spots 2: Oscar (12 page)

“Don’t.”

He jerked his gaze back up to tangle with Josiah’s. “I just…”
Just do it.
“Albert was going to kill Lyndon, yeah? And I ripped his throat out. I was s-shifted and the leopard in me, or me in it, whatever, I just…” He swallowed the bile that threatened to come up the rest of the way. “The taste of his blood, feeling his life pour into my mouth, coating my tongue, clogging my throat until I thought I’d suffocate. I had to swallow it.”

Oscar leapt up, batting at Josiah’s hands and sprinting for the bathroom. He barely made it, sliding on his knees to the toilet before spewing the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl. How long he sat there and heaved, he didn’t know, but his stomach muscles burned and his throat was raw and he had stuff on his face and he didn’t want to know what it was.

He became aware of Josiah all around him. Josiah was pressed to him, chest to Oscar’s back. His arms rested over Oscar’s, as did his legs, bracing Oscar’s and supplying a steady stream of body heat when Oscar’s seemed to have been emptied into the toilet.

“It’s all right,” Josiah said again and again.

Oscar whimpered and wished he wasn’t such a mess, but Josiah honestly didn’t seem to mind. He felt Josiah move behind him, lift an arm and lean, then Oscar was being wiped down with a cold, damp cloth. He wanted to protest and say he wasn’t a child who needed his face washed for him, but he knew in his heart Josiah’s intentions were only to take care of his mate. It didn’t make Oscar weak or helpless to allow Josiah to care for him any more than Josiah would be weak if their positions were reversed.

“I don’t think I’ve slept for more than an hour or two at a time since then,” Oscar said, surprising himself. He hadn’t meant to talk about it anymore.

Josiah grumbled something about wearing him out so he’d sleep for a full eight hours, and Oscar felt some of the oppressive weight begin to lift. Not much, but when he’d borne the burden for so long, he knew it’d lightened.

“I keep thinking I should have been quicker,” Oscar explained as he worked through his guilt. “He set this trap we didn’t detect. It was up in the trees and he used something to cover the scent, it just really threw us off. We stopped when Orion started coughing. At the same time, the smell hit us. It was like we were in a bubble of noxious fumes and couldn’t breathe. I thought we were going to die, but I woke up. Mom and my brothers were okay. Out, but breathing steadily. I heard Albert, and Lyndon and Levi. There was no one else who could stop Albert, Levi wasn’t shifted.”

“You saved Lyndon, and probably your family as well.” Josiah’s tone didn’t allow for any doubt that he meant it, but Oscar still couldn’t let it go.

“Maybe, but what if I had been quicker? If I had noticed the trap, we could have—”

“Oscar!” Josiah boomed in his ear, scaring a year off Oscar’s life. “You don’t do what-if’s in life, that way lies disaster, or however the saying goes. Did you doubt for a second what Albert intended to do to Lyndon?”

“No. He was very clear. He was there to kill Lyndon first. Once he did that, he’d go after the other half-siblings, even the kids.”

Josiah growled and held Oscar tighter. “What a sick fuck Tavares is. Cole, I mean, but Albert, too and any of his other offspring who jump through his demented hoops.”

“Yeah,” Oscar agreed. “I can’t fathom it, and neither can Dad, which is why we came to San Antonio. We’d read online that Cole Tavares was here and Dad was going to try to talk some sense into him, but we got here, and Tavares had been called to Mexico for a business trip. We couldn’t find out any more information, but Dad kept trying, hence the Tavares brothers.”

Josiah laughed. “They kind of remind me of some old time slap-stick comedy troupe even if they aren’t trying to be funny. I really do think they’re harmless to your family and to us. I believe they’d fight for each other though. I even think they might be decent guys, once this is all over.”

“Maybe. If they survive.”

“You did nothing wrong,” Josiah said out of the blue. Oscar wished he could see him better, but he liked feeling the way Josiah’s voice vibrated through him, pressed together as they were. “You know how sick Cole Tavares is, how screwed up Albert was. Dangerous doesn’t even begin to describe men like that. I understand that you can’t just forgive yourself or whatever it is you need to do to find peace, but I do hope you stop tormenting yourself over it.”

Oscar wished he would, too, because logically he knew he’d done the only thing he could. “I don’t know if I can.”

“But do you want to?”

He considered Josiah’s question. “Yes, I do. I don’t like having my mind feel utterly fucked up.”

“All right.” Josiah kissed his head, his temple and went on. “Wanting to is a start, and it will get better. I’ll do everything I can to help, okay?”

Oscar nodded. Josiah rewarded him with another smattering of kisses.

“I do have a question, though, and I hope it’s okay to ask. What do you mean, Levi wasn’t shifted?” Josiah’s confusion lifted his voice at the end. “How long does it take to shift? And I’m not being sarcastic, but I can shift in a few seconds. Thirty, tops, and I’m all wolfed out.”

Oscar felt a pang of envy. “We can’t, not nearly as quick. The first time I saw Lyndon shift, I wanted to kick his ass, I was so jealous! He did it like this,” Oscar tried to snap his fingers but didn’t quite manage it. “You know what I mean. And he didn’t look like he was in agony when he shifted back and forth. It always feels like someone is trying to rip my skeleton out and cram it back in a body that’s too small. It fucking sucks.”

“That’s odd.” Josiah tightened all around Oscar. “I don’t mean you’re odd or your family, just the shifting problem. Wait. Is it like that for everyone in your family?”

“Yeah.” It cut down on shifting, too. Oscar loved being his leopard, but didn’t do it nearly as often as he’d have liked to.

“Damn.” Josiah began rocking them, just a slight movement that comforted Oscar. “What about your hands?”

Oscar concentrated for a moment and shifted his hands to paws. “Easy enough to do, and it doesn’t hurt. I think because my hands and paws aren’t really different in size, maybe. I didn’t know—my family still doesn’t—that a partial shift of any sort is possible. I should tell them, but I’m half afraid they’ll think I’m a bigger weirdo who fits in with them even less.”

Josiah scooted back and Oscar was bereft of his warmth for a matter of seconds before he was lifted and carried back to the bed. Josiah lay down beside him so they faced each other on their sides. Josiah caressed his cheek and clucked his tongue. “I’ve met your dad, Oz. You can’t tell me he has ever said you’re a weirdo or anything derogatory. He doesn’t seem the type.”

Oscar realised how he must have made his family sound. “No, of course not! I just always felt different, and I am. All of them are big, I mean at least six inches taller, even my sister. She has more muscle than me, too, like the rest. And Mom, Dad, my brothers and sister, they all have auburn hair and dark eyes and mine are blue-blue and my hair is blond and I just don’t look like them.”

Oscar laughed suddenly, surprising himself. He slid a knee between Josiah’s legs and scooted closer. “I sound like a whiny bitch,” he explained when Josiah made a questioning sound. “You probably think I’m crazy, but I just realised how I sound. Usually all this stuff is in my head kind of floating around in bits and pieces, but putting it all together and saying it?” He snorted and laughed again. “I never realised what a big pity party I’ve been throwing myself. Wanting to be strong and all that, but I think too often I’ve been weak and mean because I couldn’t tell the difference. I’m better than that, Josiah.” He looked into Josiah’s eyes and saw so much pride there he wanted to just bask in the glow of it. “I am.”

“You are,” Josiah confirmed. “Now, come here and let me hold my incredible mate.”

Oscar grinned, feeling strangely shy as Josiah got them settled on the bed more comfortably. He vowed to himself to be worthy of that look Josiah was still giving him. No more letting the past control him, no more feeling sorry for himself and calling it brave stoicism. No more of being a snarky… Well, that one would be a little harder, but he’d try to reserve the snark for people and situations who really deserved it.

It wouldn’t be easy, but making changes in oneself never were. Josiah’s breath warmed his neck and Oscar quit thinking and just let himself feel.

Whoever was banging on the door, they were getting their ass kicked, Oscar decided. He pried open his eyes and rolled to his side just as Josiah got up from the bed. Oscar’s pique vanished as he ogled the firm, round globes of Josiah’s ass. Maybe whoever woke them up deserved a trophy or something instead. Then again, they’d probably see Josiah naked or at least partially so.

I’m gonna get up.
Because he was completely and suddenly awake. Oscar got out of bed and pulled on his jeans just as he heard the door opening followed by Josiah talking, but it was another voice that sent a shiver down his spine. If he’d have been in leopard form, he was pretty sure all his fur would have been standing up.

The deep, loud voice commanded respect, though, and Oscar hurriedly got his shirt on and left the bedroom. He suspected he was fixing to meet his first official alpha, because he could feel an almost uncomfortable, constant surge of power in the air. He could smell it, too, which was strange but true. By the time he’d cleared the living room his gut was tight and burning and he was getting angry with himself for such a stupid response. He might not have been wearing his happiest expression when he all but bounded into the living room.

Josiah looked up from where he stood next to another man who was even taller and more muscular than Josiah was. Oscar wondered what the fuck they were feeding these wolf shifters as kids. Nothing but Wheaties and spinach? Whatever it was, they needed to stop before someone noticed a tribe of freaking giants in South Texas.

Josiah’s eyes shot wide and he snickered. The man beside him turned from Josiah and Oscar was hit with two things. First, how Josiah was a younger carbon copy of the guy, and second, the way he appeared to see right into Oscar’s head with that steely gaze. Something about it stirred up a desire in Oscar to arch his back and bear his claws, to hiss and spit and yowl—which was all fucking weird, since he hadn’t reacted that way to anyone else, even when he’d been bullied. It was as if just being in this man’s presence challenged a part of Oscar he’d never examined before.

It was unsettling to say the least. The older guy didn’t seem to be amused.

Josiah glanced back and forth between them and sighed so noisily it knocked Oscar out of the staring contest he’d been in. “You two cut it out. Dad, he doesn’t know jack about shifter rules in general and our rules in particular, so tone it down, please.” The expression on his face softened and warmed Oscar, chasing off the strange chill lingering inside him. “He’s my mate, Dad. I didn’t think I’d ever be so lucky as to have him.”

Oscar didn’t care about the guy trying to intimidate him. He rushed to Josiah and threw his arms around his waist. Then Oscar popped up on his toes and kissed Josiah with all the joy he was feeling. Josiah made the sweetest sound as he parted his lips and wrapped his arms around him, and Oscar thought he could be content to stay there like that for hours. Except the other guy had to interrupt.

“Okay, I’ll quit expecting the deference I should have from him if you two will quit making out right in front of me.”

Oscar dropped back to his heels, ending the kiss. He was fully prepared to snap that the man could leave if he didn’t like it. But, he remembered his promise to himself about not being such a snarky jerk, and he knew this man was Josiah’s dad, which meant Oscar needed to be more tactful. Plus, it helped soothe his temper when the oppressive cloak of power lifted. A good portion of his anger left with it.

“Thank you,” Josiah said, and Oscar nodded, even if he wasn’t sure Josiah meant it for him.

“
I did.
” Oscar barely kept from starting at the two words he’d heard in his head. The mate bond was going to take some getting used to.

The older man cleared his throat and Oscar moved to Josiah’s side. Why it was so hard for him to offer his hand was beyond him, but to Oscar it felt like his arm was weighted with an anchor. Josiah’s father’s eyes flashed with amusement and Oscar almost said ‘fuck it’ and growled at him, but Josiah’s hand caressing his hip calmed him instantly.

“Oscar Travis,” he said as his hand was enfolded in a much bigger one.

“Jodiah Baker, alpha of the San Antonio wolf pack. I’m also Josiah’s dad, as I’m sure you’ve figured out.”

“I did kind of figure,” Oscar couldn’t help but say as his hand was released. “Josiah looks just like you.” Except younger, and he wasn’t saying that.

Jodiah laughed, a knowing glint in his eyes. “I think I’m going to like you even if you do challenge my alpha position.”

Oscar reeled back and would have fallen on his butt had Josiah not been holding onto him. “What do you mean? I haven’t challenged you for anything. I just want your son.” What the hell would he want a pack of wolves for?

Jodiah frowned at him and Josiah. “He really doesn’t know anything about shifters, does he? Or are snow leopards just different when it comes to packs?”

“I’m right here,” Oscar snapped. He’d honoured the snark vow just fine, but being talked about as if he weren’t there or was too stupid to comprehend the conversation was too much to tolerate. “Don’t talk about me like I’m not!”

Jodiah looked shocked first, followed by angry before he finally burst out laughing so loud Oscar thought his ears were going to bleed. He stopped laughing and tipped his head towards the bedroom. “Sorry, it’s just, no one talks to me like that, and here’s my son, naked and marked by his mate, and it seemed a ridiculous situation. Josiah, if you’d get dressed, Oscar and I will wait for you in the kitchen.”

Josiah grumbled about being ordered around in his own home but he went, leaving Oscar with Jodiah. He looked at his mate’s father, since they hadn’t moved a step.