Killing Time (4 page)

I shook my head. “But that doesn’t mean no one’s there. Fae know better than anyone how bitterns work, so they’d know best how to screw with me.”

Koda lifted a brow. “Why are fae so familiar with your kind?”

Shooting him a sidelong look, I wiped the sweat from my eyes. “Do you have a car close by?”

His expression told me we’d revisit the question I’d evaded. “I parked my pickup on a busy lot near the West End.”

“Good, the place is always packed with tourists so we’ll be less noticeable.”

“Which would be why I chose to park there,” Koda said in a dry tone, his voice rough from the thick smoke.

Ignoring the comment, I rasped, “I can shade the both of us, but not for long. I’ll get us as far from this building as I can, but keep your eyes open and don’t make a sound—just because they can’t
see
us doesn’t mean they can’t
hear
us.”

“All right.” Koda watched me intently, his eyes watering.

I suppressed the urge to cough and rubbed at my own wet cheeks. What I was about to tell him went against all my instincts, since I didn’t like anyone to know the details of my existence. “They’ll expect me to shade us, but will have no idea when we leave the building.”

“We’re not using the door?”

“We are, but that doesn’t mean it has to open. When we’re shaded, our forms are like mist. As long as there are cracks around the door I can pass us through them. Even a keyhole or mail slot is sufficient.” Koda sat back on his heels, his face blanching. “They know this too and will have some kind of diversion set up to try to shake my concentration. Whatever it is, we have to ignore it or they’ll have us. So when we go through, go out low and fast. Whatever you do, don’t let go. If we’re not touching, the best I can do is blur your shape. I can’t hide you completely.”

He nodded and held out his hand. As I hesitated, suddenly reluctant to touch him, Koda’s gaze turned challenging. Feeling my cheeks heat, I stammered, “Doing this. Shading you. I’ve heard that it may feel, um, pretty intimate.”

His eyes went flat, but I wasn’t sure if it was revulsion or interest I saw in their depths. It blew my mind that I cared.

Muttering a curse, I grabbed his hand and concentrated, blushing again at his sharp inhalation when the shading’s energy tingled from my flesh into his.

“We’ll be able to see and touch each other, since our bodies will be in the same state,” I told him, my voice thready from the effort I was expending. “Prepare yourself. The first time you go through a crack is memorable.”

His face went even more pale beneath the soot and his hand tightened on mine. No doubt, he was wondering what would happen if we became separated halfway through the door. It was something he really didn’t need to know.

“Ready?” I asked, waiting for his nod.

Focusing, I collected Koda into my awareness, allowing my senses to slide up his muscular arm and across his broad shoulders. When my mental touch reached his neck, Koda tilted his head to the side like it felt good and I knew when his pulse accelerated. Extending up his square jaw and along the lush contours of his lips, I traced the planes of his beautiful face up into his scalp and down the lengths of his silken jet hair.

Koda reached for my free hand, his broad palm warm and strong. I met his intense gaze and was startled as erotic heat flared in my belly. My lips parted and the way his eyes focused on them set my heart thundering even faster than usual.

Sternly concentrating on the task and trying to ignore my astonishing reactions, I pressed my mental touch down his broad chest, delighting in the way his muscles quivered within my senses. Moving lower, I got as far as his flat belly when I froze, unable to go farther south.

Amusement warred with the sensual weight of his gaze as Koda bent his head even closer to mine. “I’d like to take all of me when we go and am particularly fond of the part you’ve not yet gotten to. Kindly finish what you’ve started.”

Blushing furiously, I swallowed hard. Hoping to speed things along, I stretched my awareness around his waist so that my mental touch covered him front and back as I went lower. Down his abdomen and his narrow waist, I eased closer to the masculine wealth of him and froze again—this time in pure feminine wonder.

Koda groaned, an all-male sound of hunger and need. “You’re killing me, woman. Get on with it.”

My mouth suddenly dry, I followed the ridged contours of his enormous arousal at the same time my awareness tingled over his hard, tight butt. He made a sound, deep in his throat, that set my pulse rocketing. As if against his will, Koda pulled on our joined hands, moving our bodies closer together. His face lowered to my throat and he inhaled, another erotic noise rumbling from him as if my scent did something to him.

I got to the tops of his thighs and encircled them with my awareness, moving down their muscular length to his knees, his strong calves, all the way down to his toes.

When I finished, the sensation of everything
Koda
filled my mind and my senses—his enticing heat and delicious masculine fragrance, his incredible strength, his powerful desire.

Something on a floor above us collapsed then in an explosion of grating iron and shrieking concrete, giving me a much-needed reminder that we were supposed to be fleeing for our lives. The trouble was, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

When I blinked my eyes open, Koda’s face was inches from mine, his seductive lips parted and his eyes focused intently on my mouth. We were both breathing heavily and it felt like my entire body was clenched with need.

For a moment, we stared at each other, the air between us filled with unexpected possibilities. Koda trailed a hand up my arm to the back of my neck, dropping his other hand to my waist and pulling ever so gently. As if on its own, my body moved against his as he lowered his head and brushed my lips with his own.

I stiffened with shock and he pulled back, just enough to look me in the eyes. He smiled slightly and bent to kiss me again, this time fitting our mouths together with skill and ease. Koda angled his lips perfectly and then his tongue was in my mouth. I made a breathless sound of need and kissed him back as his strong hand moved downward to grip my rear end, pressing me close.

I commanded myself to put some space between us, but my body wasn’t taking orders. My hands rose into the silken wealth of his hair and I urged him closer. Even as I hated how he’d bound me against my will, even though I knew he despised everything about me, knew that he’d pull away any second now and knew how much that rejection would hurt, I couldn’t stop.

I’d never been kissed and touched with this combination of expertise and need and passion, and it seemed my bones would dissolve under the sensual onslaught.

All too soon, Koda stiffened against me. “Sephti. Stop, Sephti. We have to stop.” He set me back from himself with firm hands on my shoulders.

I realized I was shaking, torn equally between humiliation, aching need and feminine fury. Koda was watching me, his gaze steady and unfathomable, and it was that neutrality that somehow hurt the worst. That he already had himself back under control when my pulse was pounding so hard, my body shook with each percussive thud.

Working hard to disguise how much being pushed away stung, I groused, “Well, I guess there’s at least one thing you think fae creatures are good for.”

He flinched, but I couldn’t tell if it was because of my words or the huge crash directly over our heads. This time, the whole building shook, like maybe an entire floor had collapsed.

Koda moved his body as far from me as he could while still maintaining his grip on my hand. “I believe we were leaving?” he said in an arch tone.

“Ah, is that what we were doing,” I muttered, double-checking that my mental hold on his form remained intact. His eyes darkened at the reinforced contact, but he kept himself at a distance. I turned my head away from him so he couldn’t see my face and the stricken look I couldn’t erase. “You might want to close your eyes while we slip through the cracks. Like I said, the first time is a little freaky.”

Before he could respond, I tightened my grip on his hand enough to hurt and sifted us through the paper-width spaces around the door. I’d done this so often, I no longer even thought about it. But I could sense Koda’s horror as I thinned our forms to component parts as small as grains of sand. And like sand through an hourglass’s funnel, we passed through the tiniest of cracks out into the alley behind the highrise.

Not surprisingly, it burned twice the energy of moving just myself. I hadn’t anticipated the accompanying dizziness and nausea, though. My head spun as I clung grimly to the determination to keep us shaded as I coaxed our bodies back into the correct shapes—not as hard as it sounds since bodies naturally want to return to their form and help the process along the way magnets attract one another.

Sucking in much-needed air as quietly as I could, I stood for a long moment, waiting for the vertigo to pass. In my periphery, I saw Koda open his mouth as if to speak and I shook my head frantically, glaring at him and willing him to remember what I’d said about maintaining silence.

His dark eyes snapping at the rebuke, he nodded.

“Truck?” I mouthed soundlessly.

He tipped his chin toward the alley’s far end and we set off in that direction. We’d made it a few yards when the hair at my nape stood up. I looked over my shoulder and stumbled from horrified shock. I’d’ve fallen flat on my face if Koda hadn’t steadied me.

A small blonde child stood just outside the door we’d sifted through. The curtain of her long hair hid her face, but I recognized her anyway. The torn and bloody tunic she wore, its ragged hem just reaching her coltish knees. The bare feet, bruised and bleeding from her desperate flight through broken glass. Even the way her left arm hung useless at her side as fat red drops splashed from her fingertips onto the alley’s dirty concrete…

The past hammered into my brain, blinding me to our surroundings. The stench of urine where vagrants had relieved themselves, the distant sounds of traffic, Koda’s bruising grasp, even the triple-time thudding of my own heart, all of it faded under the memory of that last night, the final assignment when part of me had died.

The night I’d been ordered to slaughter the little girl now waiting outside the highrise’s door.

Unable to tear my eyes away, I prayed she would not turn toward us, certain that seeing those features again would kill me where I stood, my heart seizing up with unbearable grief and rage and a million emotions I couldn’t even begin to name.

I don’t know how long I would’ve remained there but for Koda’s arm at my waist, drawing me away. My body shook so hard, only keeping my jaw clenched prevented my teeth from chattering.

We fled down the alley and spilled out onto the sidewalk, with me staggering along and Koda keeping us moving at a steady rate. After we’d gone a few blocks, he bent his head close to my ear and growled, “How far do you intend for me to carry you?”

Anger and pride stiffened my spine and I pulled out of his hold, barely remembering in time not to let go of his hand. I glared up into his dark eyes. His hooded expression was one of satisfaction, like he’d gotten the response he’d aimed for and the knowledge that he’d had to snap me out of my trancelike state was humiliating.

We went another half mile, invisible to four firetrucks and two police cars, all with sirens screaming as they made their ear-splitting way down the street toward the blazing highrise. Koda and I turned left on a broad avenue and hooked a right on a busy side street before I felt it was safe to unshade us, that there were enough humans around for us to blend in. Tugging Koda into the shadows of a doorway rather than become visible out in the open, I let go of his hand and relaxed my hold on our forms, locking my knees so I wouldn’t collapse to the sidewalk. Leaning against the building’s cool gray stone, I gulped air and fought to get my pulse rate back under control.

Without comment, Koda slipped my backpack off my shoulders and dug around inside. I wanted to fuss at him for messing with my things, but was too preoccupied with trying to breathe. When he turned me back around, he held out a hand, a dozen jelly beans resting on his palm.

Unaccountably blushing, I scooped the candy into my mouth and stood chewing, watching the humans strolling past a few yards away, returning the occasional polite smile as our presence was noted. It never failed to surprise me how friendly Texans were, just one of the reasons I enjoyed spending time in the state. So friendly, it was a good thing they couldn’t see past my illusion to the soot and filth coating Koda and me or we’d be inundated with help we neither wanted nor needed.

“Who was the child?” Koda asked, watching me intently as I went rigid.

I shook my head, not wanting to talk about it, but he pressed me against the wall, his greater bulk hiding me from pedestrians’ view.

“You said to expect a trap when we left the building, a diversion to break your concentration.” His voice a furious whisper, he lowered his mouth closer to my ear and I shivered at his proximity and the heat of him. “I saw how you reacted, Sephti. That wasn’t just a diversion. That was devastation I saw on your face. Now answer my damn question!”

“When I spoke of a diversion, I was expecting fae hunters, not…” I licked my lips, startled anew to see his eyes track the movement, to feel his hands tighten on me. Squeezing my lids shut, struggling to get my thoughts in order, I surprised us both by resting my forehead on his shoulder for the briefest second. Jerking back when I realized what I’d done, I muttered, “
Unwot prefhdai…
there isn’t time—”

“
Make
time—your English is slipping. What’s shaken you up so badly?”

I shuddered at the hated memories he insisted I recall. Despising this weakness, and furious with him for making me face it, I stiff-armed him away from me. Lifting my chin, I scowled as the words came tumbling out. “
Tihr’luim!
You want information?
Ta!
Fine! But to explain the child, you have to know something about my kind. To know that we were engineered to be
khul shaktis
, living weapons. The four
Takkat-nai…
the, um,” I paused, dragging in some much-needed air as I forced my mind to translate. “The four kith lords have their own stable of bitterns, each genetically linked to its royal master.”

Koda looked appalled. “Like clones?”

I nodded, trembling with helpless fury and grief. “The lord masters target anyone who pisses them off, anyone who stands in their way or anyone they just feel like fucking with. Once a bittern is activated and set on a target, he or she is unstoppable. In every way,
khul shaktis.
The targets, those around them when the attack happens, plus the bittern—total destruction.”

“Activated.” Koda echoed and I could practically see him remembering my berserker frenzy. “So bittern have no control.”

“None.”

“Or memory, I’d wager, since you had to ask if you’d killed anyone that first night.”

I shook my head. Turning to watch the humans walking along the sidewalk, enjoying the pleasant autumn day and totally unaware how close to them death stood, I resolutely avoided Koda’s sharp gaze.

He stirred, coming close enough that I could feel the heat of his body—an all-too-real reminder of that stunning moment in the highrise’s stairwell. “And your scent is so like a fae’s because—”

“We’re genetically engineered by them, using their DNA as a foundation.” I swallowed hard. “From my first moment, I was
suk’urai.
Difficult. Instinctively, like a wild creature. I resisted the conditioning the lord masters and their handlers drilled into us. Because we had no way to mark time, I don’t know how long it took, but my mind finally became clear. I began to have thoughts and ideas that the damn fae hadn’t first put into my head.”

Koda made a pained sound in his throat. “Sephti…”

Hating even the idea that he pitied me, I pulled further away from him, deeper into the alcove’s shadows. “One night,
mis Tak’nar,
my lord master, sent me to annihilate one of his court rivals. The manor’s security was no match for me—they were just
kela-maaren,
simple house guards. Dealing with them didn’t waken the berserker rage. But they kept me…occupied. For a while.” I passed a weary hand over my face. “It was well past midnight when I sifted into the family’s private quarters. A young girl…”

My voice faded as memory threatened to swamp me. I almost levitated when Koda reached out to squeeze my ice-cold hand. Tightening my hold on his broad, warm grip, I made myself speak the words. “She saw me. The girl. I was covered in…from the guards. My clothes, my hair. I saw the child’s terror, knew she’d scream, she’d alert everyone. My mission would fail, my lord master would be furious. But I suddenly didn’t care. Seeing her fear, seeing how she reacted to the sight of me, it was like I’d been stabbed in the gut. I knew I should kill her before she could warn anyone, but I couldn’t.
Jiach nenavut warnomh.
I just…couldn’t.”

Koda pulled me against his chest, his arms strong and reassuring. Startled, I tried to pull back, but he tightened his hold. “It’s all right, Sephti. It’s all right.”

I shook my head violently, whether at his words or trying to erase the memories from my mind, I didn’t know. “I backed away. From a harmless
child,
I backed away. Then she started screaming and it took me a second to realize she wasn’t screaming because of me. There were more.
Nalai toyenasén!
More of us. My lord master had sent half the stable. I knew then that he didn’t just want his rival dead, he wanted the entire bloodline eradicated. A junior male, Oht—you would call him Twelfth,” I babbled, the words flowing from me now, “was already in a frenzy and he went for the child. I stopped him, just like I stopped the others behind him. But they kept coming, more and more, until I couldn’t hold off my own rage any longer. The last thing I remembered was the girl standing there, just like you saw her today. Bleeding. Injured. When I came to, I was far from my lord master’s stables. I’ve never gone back.”

“And now your people call you Nomad,” Koda murmured into my hair, understanding coloring his tone. “That wasn’t a child in that alley today. Someone who knows far too much about you dressed that creature up to resemble the girl from your memories.”

“Creature?” Forcing my grip on his sweater to relax, I pulled back, trying to regain my equilibrium. He let me go, but his gaze was like a soothing caress.

“We call them weh yetar, the little ones. They’re shapeshifters. They were once the bane of my people’s existence. I thought my brothers and I had killed them all. Knowing the fae sent one after you tells me where at least some of the vicious things went.”

My heart gave a lurch. “That wasn’t the girl? But that means…” Then my brain shifted into overdrive. “How did the bastards know? Of all my targets, how could they know that seeing that particular child would…would…”

Koda’s face was grim. “And how did they find you?” Shaking it off, he muttered, “We’re not likely to figure it out now and the weh yetar is still too close for comfort. Let’s get out of here.”

Still shaken, I nodded, joining him as he stepped out onto the sidewalk to mingle with the humans heading toward the West End and the Arts District. Allowing ourselves to get swept up in the crowd, I watched the couples and families, studied the ease with which they communicated their love for one another. A young male pulled a heavily pregnant woman into his arms and kissed her soundly, grinning as their friends cheered him on. The toddler at their knees squealed with pleasure as another man swept him up onto his shoulders and an older boy pretended to retch at the grownups’ displays of affection. An unaccustomed pang twisted my stomach into knots and I tore my stinging eyes away, focusing instead on a man walking a Great Dane and a poodle, the little dog’s tiny strides rapid-fire and frantic next to the bigger animal’s rolling gait.