Jocelyn's Choice (7 page)

"I haven't actually written anything yet, I mean, a few short stories, but I don't know if I'm any good. When I saw the class being offered last fall, I really wanted to take it. My English teacher suggested it and said if my family could swing it, I'd really benefit from it."

"So, did you go?"

"Yes," I said. "And I learned a lot, but it was expensive. Max said I could do it, but between my car insurance and monthly cell phone bill, he couldn't afford the class too. He won't let me work too many hours at the coffee shop during school, so my paychecks are kinda small. They wouldn't pay for a phone bill half the time."

"So, you gave up the phone to take the class?"

"What choice did I have?" I asked. "I never really used the phone anyway."

"You will now," he said. "Especially when I go back to Connecticut."

"I can't accept this." I tried to hand it back, but he wouldn't take it.

"I insist," he said. "It's about safety too. You need it in case your car breaks down or you get stuck somewhere."

"I'm sure Max will pay for my service now that the class is over."

"He doesn't have to," he said. "This is paid in full. I've added it to my plan, so if you go over or something, it'll just be added to my bill. You have Internet too."

"Alex, I can't." It was a cool-looking phone, but I didn't think I should take it.

"Please."

"I'm asking you to," he said. "If you only use it to talk to me, then so be it, but it's yours."

I looked into his beautifully mesmerizing eyes and saw how much he wanted me to accept his gift.
How can I argue?

"Thank you," I whispered. "This was very thoughtful of you."

"I need to feel connected to you," he said. "In every aspect of my life, and when I'm thinking of you during the day or at three in the morning, I want to be able to tell you."

"You can call me anytime. I'm always gonna want to hear from you." I smiled.

"You've totally taken over my life." I pressed my palm to his cheek, and he closed his eyes, leaning into me.

He slowly opened them, took the phone, placed it back on the dresser, then gently kissed my lips.

"Jocelyn, I . . . ." He stopped talking and moved in for a longer, deeper kiss. His hands were suddenly everywhere, and before I realized it, he had my shirt unbuttoned and over my shoulders.

I sat up and wiggled out of it; I was just as eager as he was to continue.

He got up and pulled me toward him, trailing his lips along my jaw, down my neck, and to the top of my shoulder. His warm breath made me tremble. He slipped my bra strap down over my shoulder and continued to kiss my skin, moving his body behind mine. Time seemed to be standing still. Alex's movements were slow and deliberate, and he left not one inch of my body neglected.

He moved his hands up and down my back as his lips brushed my neck. I felt him moving up to the clasp of my bra, and then it was off and on the floor with my shirt. He pressed his lips against my spine as his hands moved up to cup my breasts. He continued to move his mouth up my back and over my shoulder, then he turned my body so I was facing him. He placed his hand on my cheek as he stared into my eyes.

When I looked at him, I could feel how much he wanted to take care of me. His actions were soft and gentle. He slowly ran his fingertips under my breasts as he kissed me.

I couldn't take it anymore; my body was in overdrive. I reached for the hem of his shirt and slipped it up his stomach; he quickly pulled it over his head. I climbed into his lap and hooked my legs around his waist, longing to feel his skin against mine.

"Jocelyn," he said in a breathless voice. "I want you."

"I want to do it," I whispered against his lips.

He captured my face between his hands and asked, "Are you sure?"

I nodded.

He flipped me onto my back and reached for the button of my pants, then he lowered the zipper and pulled the tight jeans down my legs, dragging my panties along with them. My cheeks were burning with embarrassment; I felt so very exposed. I sat up and pulled him over me, attempting to cover my body with his.

"I think you're beautiful." He smiled. "You don't have to be embarrassed."

I closed my eyes and tried to relax, but my body shook against his. He slipped his hand down between my legs, like he had so many other times, and pushed his fingers inside me. He must have felt how tense I was.

"I'm gonna go slow, babe," he whispered. "We have all night."

"I trust you." I moaned as his fingers slipped deep inside me. He was so good at that, and over the past few weeks, my body had become accustomed to his touch. I immediately responded to him and craved his every move.

"You're so ready for me," he whispered against my mouth. "Soon, I'll be buried deep inside you." He set off every nerve ending in my body with his fingers and the vibration of his sexy voice.

He kissed me slowly and I tried to catch my breath. As he continued to kiss me, I felt him reach down between us and unbuckle his belt. I fought off another bout of nerves when I heard the sound of his zipper. He got up off the bed and slipped his jeans over his hips, then stepped out of them.

His erection strained against his boxers.

He grabbed the comforter and sheets and pulled them back, nodding for me to get under them before he clicked off the lamp. He climbed in with me, wrapping his arms around me. My body was cold from anxiety, but he was so warm and tender.

"I've never waited this long for anyone, Jocelyn," he whispered. "And I'm not telling you that to be obnoxious. I just want you to know I think you're worth the wait, and you can change your mind."

"I don't want to wait," I said. "I want this, I want you."

I only hoped I could please him.

Before I could think about anything else, his mouth was suddenly on my breast.

He swirled his tongue around my nipple as he moved his hand over and teased my other one with his fingertips. He trailed his lips down my stomach, moving lower and lower.

Oh, God, was he going to . . . ?

His tongue was pressing against my sweet spot as he used his fingers to spread me open. I automatically tried to close my legs, suddenly uncertain. He gently nudged my thighs apart and told me to relax.

Relax? How can I relax?

I’d heard other girls at school talk about their boyfriends going down on them, and I'd thought,
how gross is that?
I mean really, who would want to put their tongue there?

As soon as I felt Alex's warm tongue push inside me and move at a pleasurable speed, I forgot all about my reservations over him giving me oral sex.

"Oh . . . ahh . . . ."

He pushed his fingers inside me again and moved them in rhythm with his very skilled tongue. For a brief second, I had to wonder how he got so good at this particular act, but then I decided it didn't matter. I was just glad he'd had so much practice.

My stomach tightened, and I felt another wave of desire come over me as it shot right between my thighs. I thrust my hips upward as Alex reached around to my backside and pushed me against his mouth.

I screamed out his name as I came into his mouth. I had never experienced anything as intense as that before. My body tingled all over.

Alex leisurely made his way back up my body, sucking on my hipbone, licking his way up my stomach and over my nipples and to my neck. He propped himself up on his elbow and smiled at me.

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

"Please," I answered breathlessly. I pulled him to me and kissed him with more force than I ever had before. I thought it would be nasty kissing him after he had tasted me, but actually, I kinda liked it. I slipped my hand down his chest and over his erection. He closed his eyes and let out a low moan. Last week was the first time I’d touched him like this, and since then, I was becoming quite good at helping Alex relieve some of his tension.

"Not tonight, beautiful." He pushed my hand away. "I have other plans."

He softly kissed my lips, then reached into the drawer by the bed. I lay flat on my back and listened as he ripped the package open and placed it on the nightstand. I felt him wiggle out of his boxers, then he rolled the condom onto little cowboy. I propped myself up again, not knowing exactly what I should be doing
. Should I touch
him? Should I wait for him to touch me?
I managed to stroke his thigh with my fingers.

He moved his lips to my ear and whispered, "I'm not gonna hurt you. You have to trust me."

"I do." I swallowed hard and closed my eyes.

He pushed me onto my back, then moved on top of me. He brushed his lips against mine, and with his knee, he spread my legs apart. I felt him reach down between us and take his very hard member and slide it against my entrance. I immediately tensed up, but he continued to move his tip inside me. He did this for a few seconds, coating himself with my juices.

He moved his mouth to my ear and whispered. "You're so wet that I'll slide right in. Take a deep breath."

I did as he asked, and while I was inhaling, he managed to slide in as far as he could without hurting me. At first, I didn't like it at all. He was big and thick, and it felt like a major intrusion.
This feels all wrong!

"Let it out, beautiful." He moaned. "God, you're so tight." He grunted a few times, and I felt bad because it seemed like this was work for him.

As I exhaled, Alex pushed farther into me. It hurt really badly, and it burned a bit, but I tried to stay still. I wanted to scream out in pain and tell him
never mind!

"Do you need me to stop?" he whispered. "This could be enough for tonight."

"No!" I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my teeth. "I'm okay."

Shit! This shit hurts!

He reached down and grasped my hips as he thrust harder.

"Alex," I screamed out. I threaded my fingers through his hair and pushed my mouth against him. He hiked my leg up over his hip, giving him better leverage as he continued to thrust inside me.

"Jocelyn, baby, you feel so good."

The pain subsided, but it was still uncomfortable. I knew that was to be expected, and I didn't care, because when I looked up at Alex, I could see how good this felt for him. His eyes were shut, he was breathing heavy, and his jaw was tight. He was absolutely beautiful, and he was mine.
I'm making him feel this way. Only me
.

He slowed down his pace, and his strokes grew more deliberate with each thrust.

I felt his body tighten. Then he screamed out my name as he gripped my hair. A few seconds later, he collapsed onto my chest. His breathing was erratic, and he didn't move for a few seconds. Then he pulled out of me, holding the base of his softening member so the condom wouldn't slip off. He gently kissed me before getting up and going into the bathroom. He was back in the room and in bed holding me within seconds.

"That was perfect," he whispered against my hair.

"Are you sure it was okay?" I asked. "I know I wasn't that good."

"You were better than good," he said. "I didn't hurt you too much, did I?"

"No, it wasn't as painful as I thought. You were very gentle."

"I'll always be gentle with you." He smiled. "I'm . . . ." He left the sentence hang, something he'd done quite a lot lately, and that was so frustrating.

"What is it?"

"You're just really special to me," he said. "I hope you know that."

"I do." I returned his smile. "I feel the same way about you."

"Do you promise me you'll tell me if you're not okay?" He seemed really worried about me.

"I'm better than okay, Alex," I said. "I'm glad it was with you."

"I'm honored that you gave me something so special."

He took my hand and pressed it to his lips. I started to giggle.

"What is it, silly girl?" He laughed.

"I lost my virginity on prom night." I snorted.

"That is kinda funny. But, since you didn't actually attend, it's not as clichéd as you think."

"I guess you're right." I snuggled into his chest and let out a deep, relaxed breath.

"I love being in your arms."

"Hmm . . . ." He sighed.

"It's not time for me to go, is it?" I hated the thought of leaving him after what we had just shared.

"No." He reached out, grabbed his phone, and pushed a few buttons.

"What are you doing?"

"Setting the alarm," he said. "I can hold you for a while, but in case we fall asleep, you won't miss curfew."

"So responsible, Alex Jordan." I laughed.

"I'll never do anything to get on Max's bad side." He pulled me closer to him.

I cuddled close and played with the hair at his nape.

I had just showered and was getting ready for bed. It was a little after eleven and unseasonably warm for May. I pulled on a tank top and a pair of shorts that said
Pink
across the butt. I wasn't one to shop for sexy underwear, but once Alex and I became intimate, I started spending more of my little paychecks at that particular store. I never bought anything outrageous, but I liked having my bra match my panties, and Alex never complained. Looking sexy for my man made me feel good.

My phone beeped with a text message . . . .

I'm on your porch
.

I got off my bed, looked outside, and saw an unfamiliar car in the driveway.

What was he doing here?

He'd gone out with his friends tonight to celebrate Dan getting a job at a law firm in Denver. He told me he'd probably be out late, but would make it up to me by taking me boating the next day.

I ran downstairs and peeked through the small window by the front door. Alex was standing there, smiling at me. I quickly opened the door, and he stepped inside, turning to motion for the car to leave.

He grabbed me, pushing me back into the house as he kicked the door shut with his foot. He picked me up and kissed me hard on the mouth.

I could taste the alcohol on his breath. I wrapped my legs around his waist and ran my fingers through his hair as he walked us toward the steps.

"The chief is on the overnight shift, right?"

"Yes, but—"

He covered my mouth with his, pushing his tongue inside and swirling it around.

He carried me up the steps and to my bedroom. "This one?" He pointed to my room.

I nodded. "What are you doing here?"

He moved me to the bed and gently placed me in it. He kicked off his shoes and unbuttoned his shirt, then slipped it off his body, leaving him in a black, tight-fitting T-shirt.

"It's hot in here." He climbed into bed with me.

"Not that I'm complaining," I said, "but how did you end up in my bed?"

"Zack and James got tired of me talking about you." He smiled. "So they dropped me off here on their way to a club. They'll be back for me around two."

"You talked about me on your boy's night out?"

"Incessantly." He laughed, and from the look in his eyes, I could tell why he wasn't driving.

"You're drunk."

"Just buzzed, but I don't drive when I drink more than I should."

"So, what would you have done if I wasn't here?" I asked.

"I would've hunted you down," he said. "Where else would you have been?"

"I go places?" I smiled.

"Hmm," he said. "Two-timing me?"

"I'd have to be out of my mind," I said. "Where am I going to find a guy who leaves his friends and beer to come and hang out with boring old me?"

"You are far from old," he said, as he kissed my neck. "And, you're certainly not boring."

My body was tingling all over as he continued to kiss and suck on my neck. He moved his hand down my stomach and placed it on my hip. He worked his way back up to my lips, and I couldn't stop thinking how sexy it was to have his stubble rub across my face. It was also intoxicating to taste the alcohol on his breath. It added to the forbidden feeling of having him in my room, late at night, without my father home.

Everything combined to make me extremely aroused.

"These are cute." He grinned as he tugged at my little shorts. "I want you out of them."

I sat up and slipped them over my hips and down my legs, revealing my tiny, pink panties. I wanted him to touch me, and if taking my shorts off got me closer to that goal, then I'd do it. Sex was still new to me. We'd done it only a few times since our first encounter. I got my period shortly after that night, so I didn't feel comfortable having sex that week, and then it was hard for us to find alone time. We did have sex once when his parents were home, but I didn't feel at ease when we did, so Alex didn't press for me to do it again.

"This too." He placed his finger under the strap of my tank top.

"I don't have a bra on." I felt my cheeks heat up.

"Good." He smiled. "I want to see those boobs."

I bit my bottom lip and slowly pulled the shirt up over my head and tossed it on the floor.

His gaze wandered over my exposed body, and he reached for my face and whispered, "I can't stop thinking about you." He pressed his lips to mine, moving his hand down my chest, using his fingertips to gently trace my nipples. He laid me back on the bed and moved his mouth down my throat and to my right breast. He softly sucked just above my nipple, leaving a bright red spot behind. It turned me on to see he had marked me. I wanted to be his.

I reached down and pulled at his shirt. "You have too many clothes on."

He got off the bed and pulled his shirt over his head, then reached for his belt buckle. I got up on my knees to face him and unbuttoned his pants, then slowly lowered the zipper as I placed hot, open-mouthed kisses along his chest. He tangled his fingers in my hair and frantically pulled it when I brushed my hand over his erection that was now begging to break free from the confines of his boxers. I reached for them, but he took my hand and smiled. He kicked his pants off, pushed me back on the bed, and crawled on top of me.

His skin was so warm, and he smelled so good. He pulled my leg up over his hip and ground into me.

"I missed you," I whispered.

"We don't do this nearly enough," he said on a moan as he pushed his erection against my heated center. Not that I was complaining about the contact, but after making love to him, dry humping was no longer enough. I reached and pulled my panties down, hoping he would take the hint. He kissed me harder as he continued to rock into me. He was frantic with need, but I didn't know why he was waiting. We were alone, horny, and definitely ready.

He slipped my panties down the rest of the way and tossed them aside. I grabbed his underwear and tugged at the waistband.

"Jocelyn," he said breathlessly. "I don't . . . ."

I reached inside his boxers and wrapped my hand around cowboy. After having sex with Alex, I no longer called it
little
cowboy.

Whatever he was going to tell me must have gone right out of his head, because he silently pulled his boxers off and let me continue stroking him. I was aching for him, dripping with desire, and the only way this feeling was going to subside was if he relieved me.

He lowered his body back down, placed his hand over mine, and guided his erection to my waiting center. He rubbed it against my desperately needy slit.

We both let out collective moans from the contact.

He ran his mouth along mine and gently bit my bottom lip.

"I didn't think I'd see you tonight," he whispered. "And it didn't take you long to get me worked up and naked."

I kissed him back as I lifted my hips so that our most intimate of areas could touch again.

"Fuck, Jocelyn." He groaned. "I don't have a condom."

Part of me was kinda glad because that meant since he wasn't seeing me tonight, he didn't think he'd be having sex at all, but the other part, the aroused teenage girl, was very disappointed.

I reached up and stroked his cheek. "It's okay; we can do other stuff, right?"

"I want you, Jocelyn," he whispered against my lips. He ran his tip along my slit.

"You're dripping."

"That happens when you're close to me."

He continued to rub against me, and I could see the struggle in his eyes. I was so caught up in Alex that nothing mattered but having him inside me. His kisses were soft and sensual now, and the way he moved against me was maddening. We shouldn't have been entertaining the idea. It was a risk neither of us needed, but somehow, rational thoughts seemed to go out the window when hormones were involved.

"Alex." I moaned. "Please!" I thrust my hips against him, trying to find some friction. He slowly entered me, but then stopped and closed his eyes.

"Oh, you're so warm. I've never done it this way before," he whispered.

A first?
I can give Alex a unique sexual experience?
The thought of that drove me crazy. I wrapped my legs around his waist, causing him to slide deeper inside me, but he didn't move.

"Jocelyn, we shouldn't . . . I can't." His mouth was saying one thing, but his body was responding entirely differently.

I kissed him and looked into his eyes. "I trust you," I whispered.

"Fuck!" He moved in and out of me. I could feel everything. It was wonderful.

There were no barriers, just Alex and me. We were one.

I closed my eyes and got caught up in the moment. I dug my fingers into his shoulders and quivered against him. He'd made me come with his fingers and his tongue before, but usually during intercourse, I was so nervous that I couldn't fully let go. That wasn't the case tonight.

"Alex!" I screamed, and I could feel his body tense above me. He gave me a few fast, hard thrusts, and then quickly pulled out of me and shot his warm cum all over my stomach. He was breathing heavily when he rolled off me and pulled me against his body. I draped my arm over his chest and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered after a few seconds.

"I'm not."

How can I regret something that felt that good?

"You need to know that since I've been sexually active, I've never
not
used protection. I don't break that rule."

"I believe you," I whispered. "But how come you broke it tonight?"

"Because I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you," he said. "Rules don't seem to matter when it comes to you."

"We both lost control."

He gently pressed his lips to mine, then got up and went to the bathroom to get me a towel. He wiped my stomach clean, then got back in bed with me. I stared up at the ceiling, and, coming back to reality, I realized how careless we'd been. He pulled out, but that didn't always work. I just hoped the odds were in our favor and thought maybe I should consider going on the pill.