In This Small Spot (35 page)

Telling people about this decision had been
harder than she expected. Almost universally, the reaction – after
the initial shock – had been that she was wasting her medical
training and that she was doing this as a reaction to Alice’s
death. Jamie, of course, had understood.

“I didn’t think you were really coming up
here just to see me, or to go fishing,” he teased. He put his arm
around her shoulders as they walked. “I’m happy for you, Mick. You
have seemed more at peace with yourself the past few months than
you have since you lost Alice.”

The most shocking reaction had been Susan’s.
“This is a joke, right?” she asked at first. As it sank in that
Mickey was serious, the anger had surfaced. “You know, I’ve
understood you going to the church here because that priest is so
open-minded, but to go to a goddamned convent, putting yourself
under the authority of one of the most repressive churches on the
planet – it’s turning your back on everything we’ve fought for all
these years – wait…” She stood there, breathing hard. “Don’t even
tell me that you’re going to make some apology for being gay, or
that you’re claiming to be cured like those asshole fundamentalists
preach.”

Mickey was taken aback – she hadn’t
anticipated such a vehement reaction. “No! I’m not denying who I
am,” she protested. “I think I can pursue this call without getting
all tied up in the politics of the Church.”

Susan shook her head. “I don’t even know you
anymore.” And she walked out. Mickey hadn’t heard from her
since.

Now, the house looked bare. Mickey had
packed a trunk with her favorite books, and the items on the
abbey’s list. Most of her clothing had been given away; she’d
packed one suitcase of clothes to keep in case she left the abbey,
“or they kick me out,” she joked. All of their photo albums had
been packed away – she wasn’t prepared to let those go yet. Most of
the knick-knack things had gone to the thrift store. It was amazing
to her how much stuff she owned that she had to figure out what to
do with: kitchen stuff, bathroom stuff, all the stuff in the attic.
It seemed never-ending. Finally, though, all that was left was to
get the furniture into storage.

“This nun thing better work out,” she
grumbled to Jamie over the phone. “If it doesn’t, it’s going to
cost me a fortune to replace all this crap.”

Chapter 44

“Maybe snow angels weren’t such a good idea,”
Mickey groaned as she got up the day after Christmas. She had a bad
cold and had hardly slept at all due to her congestion and
sneezing.

Christmas had arrived with an unexpected
visit from Natalie who came with Jamie and Jennifer to the abbey.
It was the first time she and Mickey had seen or talked to one
another since the wedding.

“That is not our mother,” Mickey insisted as
she blew her nose, watching Natalie interacting with Mother
Theodora. “She hugged me and wished me a Merry Christmas. She’s a
pod person.”

“Jamie said the same thing,” Jennifer
giggled.

“What happened to her?” Mickey asked, eyeing
Jamie suspiciously.

“The day of the wedding, while you and Jen
were talking, she came to me all weepy and complaining about how
cruel and unfair you’d been when she was making an effort.”

“And?” Mickey asked menacingly, knowing how
manipulative their mother could be.

“And I told her she had deserved everything
you said and more for a long time.”

Mickey looked at him with her mouth
open.

“That’s what Mom looked like,” he grinned.
“I told her she’d elevated being miserable to an art form, and that
if she wanted to be happy, she had to learn to make the choice to
be happy – it wouldn’t just bite her in the butt.”

“Wow.” It was all Mickey could think of to
say.

“What about Sister Anselma?” Jennifer
changed the subject. “Have you heard from her?”

Mickey shook her head. “I haven’t expected
to. She’s leaving me alone to decide where I should be without any
distractions from her.”

“And have you decided?”

Mickey looked from one to the other. “I’ve
decided to leave,” she said quietly.

Jennifer glanced at Jamie before asking,
“Are you sure?”

Mickey looked at Jamie. “Do you remember how
many times you asked me that when I told you I was entering? It
hasn’t been easy.” She looked around at all the familiar figures.
“You know, when I first came here, everyone looked the same to me –
just a habit. But now, I can identify almost everyone, just
watching posture and movements. It will break my heart to leave. I
don’t know how Sister – Lauren did it after almost twenty years.
It’s going to take a while to get used to the change in names.”

“I asked her about that once,” Jennifer
recalled, “because all of you kept your given names as your
religious names. I assumed she wasn’t always Anselma.”

Mickey was curious since that was something
she had wondered about. “What did she say?”

“Only that when she entered, she didn’t want
any connection to her past. She wanted to start fresh, so she
requested a new name.”

“What about her?” Jamie asked. “After you
leave I mean?”

Mickey shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s also
dealing with a lot in regard to her family. I know she and Mother
communicate. I’m just holding tight to the belief that she’ll find
me.”

Now, fighting this cold, it was all Mickey
could do to drag herself around on her crutches.

“This is not a good idea today.” Sister Mary
David had completed the care for Mickey’s burns and was trying to
take her through her exercises. “You’re weak and you can’t breathe.
You need rest more than you need to exercise.”

“I think you’re right,” Mickey agreed. “I’m
going to go to my cell and sleep.”

“Do you want to use the wheelchair?” Sister
Mary David asked as Mickey struggled to her feet. Mickey glowered
at her. “All right,” Sister Mary David laughed. “Be stubborn. I’ll
let Mother know where you are.”

Mickey limped to her cell and fell asleep
almost immediately. She wasn’t sure what time it was when she
awakened in the dark, barely able to breathe. She struggled to a
sitting position, but still could take only shallow breaths. There
was no way she could walk. She reached for a crutch and banged on
the wall she shared with Jessica. When there was no response, she
banged again. A moment later, there was a soft knock and the door
opened.

“Michele?” Jessica whispered.

“On the bed,” Mickey gasped. Jessica came to
her. “Pneumonia – need to get to hospital.”

Jessica quickly woke Sister Kathleen on the
other side of her own cell. She sent her to get Sister Mary David
and Mother Theodora. “And tell Sister Mary David to bring the
wheelchair. Hurry!”

Coming back into Mickey’s cell, she turned
on the lamp and calmly helped Mickey put on a robe. “It’s too snowy
for slippers,” she said matter-of-factly as she brought shoes and
socks and put them on Mickey’s feet. Then she sat next to Mickey on
the bed, supporting her with an arm around her shoulders. She could
hear the rattle as Mickey tried to breathe. “We’ll get you to the
hospital as quickly as we can.”

By the time they pulled into the ER,
Mickey’s lips and fingernails were blue and she was unresponsive.
The ER physician was able to get a ventilator tube down her throat
while IV lines were started. Mother Theodora, Sister Mary David and
Jessica prayed in the waiting room.

“She’s beginning to respond,” the doctor
told them a couple of hours later. “The secretions in her lungs are
much thicker than normal, and only a portion of her lungs are
functioning anyway. She cannot treat colds and flu casually
anymore.”

Sister Mary David looked stricken. “It’s my
fault. I checked on her last night, but she was sleeping so soundly
I didn’t check more closely. I should have been more
observant.”

“You had no way of knowing,” the doctor said
kindly. “This is her first cold season since her injuries.” He
turned to Mother Theodora. “She will have to stay in the hospital
for a few days.”

Mickey was able to be removed from the
ventilator after two days, but had to stay on oxygen and nebulizer
treatments for a few more days. Greg Allenby came by to see her. He
hadn’t been to the abbey in weeks.

“Greg, what is it?” she asked in alarm when
she saw him. He looked terrible, with dark circles under his
eyes.

He ran a hand over his face. “It’s Judy.
I’ve been racking my brain to figure out what I can do to keep the
practice going and be able to spend more time with her. She still
needs therapy three or four times a week, and I’ve only been able
to find part-time help at home.”

Mickey bit her lip. “Have you considered
bringing in another doctor part-time?”

He threw up his hands. “Who? I don’t know
anyone who only wants part-time work.”

“Well, actually you do,” she said. “You have
to keep this quiet. I still need to talk to Mother, but… I’ll be
leaving St. Bridget’s soon, and I was wondering what this crippled,
ex-nun might do for work.”

He looked at her earnestly. “Maybe go into
practice with a former student?”

“Are you sure?”

“This could be the answer to both our
prayers if you’re really interested.”

Mickey laughed and immediately choked,
triggering a fit of coughing. “Yes,” she gasped when she could
breathe again. “I’m interested.”

His expression brightened. “I’ll come see
you at St. Bridget’s soon and we can start working out some
details.”

When Mickey did return to the abbey, Sister
Mary David anxiously asked her to stay in the infirmary for a
couple of days. “At least spend a few nights here,” she pleaded,
“or I am going to camp outside your cell.” Mickey acquiesced when
Sister Mary David said seriously, “I would never forgive myself if
anything happened again during the night.”

Mickey requested a private meeting with
Mother Theodora, and told her of her decision to leave as well as
Greg’s proposed partnership.

“I hope you don’t think I just used the
abbey as an escape for a while,” Mickey said.

“Not at all,” Mother Theodora assured her.
“As a matter of fact, I think your time with us has allowed you to
find an important part of yourself. And I know we benefited from
your presence.”

Mickey blushed as she said, “Well, I don’t
know about that, but things around here should be calmer without
me. I seem to create more drama than everyone else combined.”

Mother Theodora smiled. “Life has definitely
been more interesting with you around,” she mused.

╬ ╬ ╬

“I’ve found the perfect house!” Jamie told
Mickey excitedly. “Okay, maybe not perfect in every way – it’s
going to need a ground floor addition for your bedroom and bath,
and some ramps may have to be added, but,” he grinned, obviously
very pleased with himself, “it’s perfect in other ways. You just
have to trust me.”

“Okay,” she laughed, “I trust you.”

“Good,” he said, pulling out some rolled-up
blueprints and spreading them out on the table in the parlour,
“because I’ve already asked an architect to draw up some plans for
the changes. Look these over and see if there’s anything you want
added or moved or whatever.”

The plans depicted a two-story house, about
eighteen hundred square feet. The three existing bedrooms and
bathroom were on the second floor. A ground floor addition had been
drawn up to include a bedroom large enough to allow wheelchair
access all around the bed. The bathroom was also completely
wheelchair accessible, with a shower but no tub, and a
free-standing sink attached to the wall on a hydraulic slide that
would allow it to be raised and lowered to accommodate someone
standing or sitting. There were separate built-in closets and
cupboards for storage. A laundry room and garage were also
included, built with no stairs or thresholds to obstruct a
wheelchair.

“This looks wonderful,” Mickey murmured,
looking the plans over.

“Jen has been working hard on this, trying
to think of everything you might need eventually,” Jamie said. “The
kitchen will be redesigned so the appliances will all be in
locations where you can easily get to them sitting or
standing.”

Mickey sat back and looked at him fondly.
“Thank you both so much for all of your help with this.”

“No problem” he smiled. “It’s been kind of
fun. We’re actually thinking about changes we want to make to our
house – like a nursery.”

It took Mickey a moment to process what he’d
said. Her mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding!”

His face couldn’t have smiled any bigger.
“About eight weeks, we think. She goes to the doctor next week. I
can’t believe it,” he said, running his hands through his hair.
“Life is really going to change.”

“You and Jen will be wonderful parents,”
Mickey said, laying a hand on his arm. “And I can’t wait to be an
aunt!”

She pulled out some papers. “Here is the new
account my funds have been transferred to,” she said, handing him a
statement. “I’ve named you as co-holder of the account so you can
access it to pay anything that may come due over the next
month.”

Jamie’s eyes popped as he looked at the
statement. “Wow,” he breathed, “I’ve never seen so much money in
one place – that I could get to,” he added with a sly grin.

“Don’t get too excited,” she warned him.
“It’s the money from my old practice, both houses and Alice’s life
insurance. And it’s all been invested for most of the last six
years, but I’m probably uninsurable now, and I’ll be buying into a
share of Greg’s practice. And this,” she indicated the blueprints,
“will make a dent also. A few more incidents like my trip to the
hospital at Christmas, and this could go faster than you
think.”

He looked at her sympathetically. “I guess
you’re right. Do you want your old furniture back?”