Hunks, Hammers, and Happily Ever Afters (65 page)

“She’s still upstairs.”

“Good.” He moved two bread and butter plates from the bottom rack to the top.

“Max, we need to talk about this.”

“I told you, there’s nothing to talk about.” The two bowls that had held the strawberries and blueberries were carefully nestled where the bread plates had been, the three plates still sticky with syrup were added, then moved one rung over, and over again. “I’ll drive Hayley home when she comes down.”

“We’ll see what she wants.” It would probably be better for Hayley to take a cab home rather than be subjected to the drama playing out here. Besides, he was afraid that if Max got behind the wheel, he’d either wrap the vehicle around a hydro pole or get on the 401 and never be seen again.

When Max removed the filled cutlery rack and started reorganizing the knives along the back, the forks in the middle, the spoons in the front, where normally he shoved them in randomly, Noah had had enough. He grabbed the plastic rack and tossed it in the sink. “Damn it, Max, stop this. Talk to me. Stop trying to pretend nothing’s happened.”

“I told you, I’m fine. I don’t need to talk.”

Fuck this. “How about
I
talk, and you listen then, huh?”

Max stalked to the sink and retrieved the basket. “You’re gonna talk anyway. So say it and then leave me alone.”

Noah drummed his fingers on the counter. What tack should he take? “I think after Hayley said she wanted to see us
together
, you figured ‘what the hell, it’s not like we haven’t kissed before.’ I think you thought it would be a lark.” He was winging it, but it sounded right, “I think you weren’t expecting to feel anything when you kissed me.”

Max wasn’t looking at him, but Noah could tell from the way his hands stilled over the cutlery that he was listening.

“But I think you did feel something. I think it meant more to you than a game. I think you got into the kiss. I think you got aroused. I think you wanted to bury your cock in my ass again, and I think now you’re scared. You’re confused. Which is totally understandable, Max. But hiding that fear away, pretending it didn’t happen doesn’t help. It just makes it worse. Trust me I know. I’ve been there. It doesn’t get easier. It’ll burn away at your gut, and it’ll keep burning until you question everything you believe about yourself.”

Max finally faced him, resting his hips against the counter, and folded his arms across his chest. “You know what I think?
I think
someone’s full of themselves.
I think
you
want
me to be love with you, you
need
me to be in love with you, because you can’t even figure out what team to play on and I’m your safety net.”

If you truly believe that then I’ve lost you forever. As a potential lover, but worse, as a best friend.

As much as he wanted to stagger over to the breakfast bar, slump onto the end stool, and bury his face in his hands, he forced himself to stand there, as if Max’s statement hadn’t been a slap in the face.

He raced through things he could say, ranging from “stop joking” to falling on his knees and begging for Max to reconsider. Neither of which would work.

“I can’t control what you think, but I do know what I saw.”
What I felt thrusting against my dick.
“But if that’s how you want to play it, fine. I’ll find somewhere else to live and I’ll move out.”

There was no way he could face Max after this. It had been tough enough remembering seventeen-year-old Max’s hands on him, but that kiss had reminded him of everything he was missing. Of everything he couldn’t have. “I’ll have my lawyer contact yours to dissolve M&M equally and you can find a new carpenter to work with.”

Max choked. “Wait. I didn’t say you had to move out. And now you’re talking about dissolving the company too?”

“You don’t really expect me to stay after that
safety net
crap, do you
?
”
Come on, Max, react. Fight me. Let out all the fear you’re bottling up before it festers and destroys you. “
You are my best friend, Max. But obviously you see me as a charity case.” He kept his voice spiteful, praying he was taking the right approach. “Now you see me as a threat to you having Hayley to yourself, I’m just a fag who can be kicked to the curb.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake. You’re the one who called us both fags. I’ve never called you that before. I’ve never even thought that way about you before. I’ve
always
stood up for you. I’m the one who told you about Hayley’s fantasy, I’m the one who suggested the threesome. I wouldn’t have mentioned it, or invited you, if I was threatened by you.”

Finally.
finally
, a reaction, though he wasn’t quite sure Max was aware he’d let his guard slip yet. “I know,” Noah said quietly.

But Max didn’t hear him. “Okay, so the lines are a little blurred right now, with me—” his voice faltered, “—kissing you.”

Lines can blur so easily, can’t they?
But it gave him the opening he needed, the blade to peel away the raw edges. “That’s exactly why I have to walk away, Max. What guy wants his lover to hang around with a guy he’s played tonsil-hockey with right in front of her. Will you tell her you’ve fucked my ass too?”

“Stop it!”

“You don’t need to worry, Max. Hayley’ll choose you over me. After all, she thinks you were just acting when you kissed me.” He stroked his lips. He didn’t even have to pretend to remember the feel of Max’s kiss, it was burned indelibly into his memory.

“I don’t think you being pan scared her off,” Max faltered, his gaze locked on Noah’s fingers as if he were remembering the kiss too. “I think she was turned on.”

Yeah, she was turned on. And so were you.

Max stabbed his fingers through his hair, setting it standing up on end. “You don’t know she wouldn’t choose you over me. You don’t know she’d choose either of us.”

Noah dropped his hands to his side and shrugged. “But as fun as the threesome was, it’s over. Done. You knew it had to end, didn’t you, Max? That eventually Hayley’s going to want to settle down, same as you. She’s not going to want me, is she? A guy who enjoys fucking other guys as well as women? No. She’ll want you. A good Catholic boy with a stable family, a nice house in a good area. Yeah, you’re pure gold, Moretti.”

Shit. And there it was. The real truth. The one he’d been denying all these years.

Max would never admit he felt anything for another guy. For him. To Max, Noah would always be the third wheel. “Whereas me? I’ll always be that awkward pity invitation you set an extra chair out for at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners because you feel sorry that I don’t have any family. If you and Hayley have kids, you’ll have them call me Uncle Noah, but won’t have an explanation for why I keep hanging around.”

Aw fuck, he did have to leave.

“Anyway, I’m going to find somewhere to live and get out of your hair.” Ottawa, maybe. Or Montreal. Claim a table at one of the restaurants on Crescent Street, and watch the world go by.

He couldn’t stop himself from stroking Max’s cheek, following the curve of his ear, memorizing it. “She’s right, you know. I do love you. I have for a very long time. And maybe you were right too—maybe I have been using you as a safety net.”

“That weekend,” Max scrunched his eyes together for a second before meeting Noah’s gaze again, “when we...fooled around. Were you in love with me back then?”

He nodded, a jerky movement that hurt his neck.

“I didn’t know. I just figured we were experimenting, that it was a one-shot deal.”

“I know. I didn’t realize you didn’t feel the same as I did for a long time.” God, it made him sound so pathetic. “But then you wouldn’t talk about it later, and you went out and started dating Emily Johnson. Like the next weekend, as if doing it with me was something dirty you needed to expunge from your memory.”

Max dropped his gaze. “I was ashamed. I knew it was wrong—
thought
it was anyway, damned freaking church doctrine. And then I did it with Emily a couple months later, it...well, it was pretty good too. And considering I’ve just never met any other guy who I even considered sleeping with since then, I figured what we did was just part of being a horny teen. But today, when I...kissed you...I’ve never felt like that about a guy before. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe, I had to get out of there.”

“I know.”

But you still haven’t said you love me back, and it kills me to know you don’t feel the same way. Or at least want to continue pretending you don’t. I understand about the need to hide your true self, but you don’t have to hide around me. Ever.

“You’re right. I liked kissing you.” Max whispered, his voice as broken as Noah’s soul.

Noah stroked Max’s jaw, loving the rough stubble rasping his fingers. “I’ll keep your secret safe.”
And so will Hayley. Because, though I forgot for a minute, she’s not one to spread gossip. To betray a trust. You two will suit. You’ll get married and have lots of fat babies with thick dark hair, and be happy together.

“What if I said I wanted you to kiss me again? That I wanted you to do more?”

His voice failed him so he crushed his lips against Max’s, his teeth nipping his bottom lip until Max relaxed his jaw, allowed him entrance. Noah memorized the feel of Max’s body, his chest hard and hot against his, the slide of his palms over Max’s spine, the rippling of his muscles beneath his fingertips. He memorized Max’s taste, a strange combination of coffee and hint of mouthwash. He memorized how their hips fit together, and the feel of Max’s erection grinding against his.

He should give Max a warning, tell him to make him stop, because now he’d started, he couldn’t stop. He wanted this man, he wanted this intensity. But that would mean breaking the kiss. Which would give Max an opportunity to pull away. Just another thirty seconds of bliss, another minute, he bargained. Besides if Max wanted he could stop all this—but Max’s tongue was now in his mouth, his fingers were digging into his biceps, holding him in place, not pushing him away in disgust.

At that thought, Max released his hold on Noah who braced himself for a whole world of hurt.

Except Max didn’t pull away, instead he worked his hands between their bodies. The sound of a zipper being lowered rebounded off the stainless steel backsplash. The warmth of Max’s hand as he gripped Noah’s cock had Noah choking back a curse. Fuck yeah. Oh
fuck
yeah. Noah’s jeans hit his ankles, cool air from the AC unit swirled around his now naked ass. Without breaking the kiss, he kicked them off, the thump of fabric told him they’d hit the fridge.

Max stroked the length of his shaft, his thumb swirling the liquid bead over the taut head. All strength abandoning him, Noah slumped onto the kitchen stool. Max followed him down, continuing to his knees to nestle between Noah’s outspread legs. Seconds later, Max’s mouth replaced his hand, his tongue painting the head, swirling, taunting, teasing.

Noah hissed at the scrape of teeth along the shaft. He dug his fingers into his thighs to stop himself from grabbing Max’s hair, holding him in place and thoroughly fucking his mouth. Last thing he wanted was to make Max gag. Talk about a mood spoiler, especially if he ever wanted Max to go down on him again.

Moans filled the kitchen, though whether they were Max’s or his own, Noah wasn’t sure.

While he’d fantasized far too many times about this exact moment, none of his fantasies matched the reality, the talent, Max displayed. Oh, his rhythm fumbled occasionally as he figured out how to breathe and suck dick at the same time, but holy crap the man knew how to work his sac. And the sight of Max’s lips closing around his shaft, his cheeks hollowing with each suck, was a freaking work of art.

His balls drew tight to his body. A familiar zing tingled at the base of his spine. Knowing he was close to losing it, he tugged on Max’s head until his cock was released.

“No! I want to finish you.” Max tried to take his shaft in his mouth once again, but Noah shook his head.

“You can, but you’re not ready for me to come in your mouth, not yet.” He placed Max’s hand on his shaft, closed his fingers over Max’s hand and tugged hard. Once, twice, and a thick rope of his come spurted over Max’s chest, again, and again. It tangled in his chest hair, dripped down his belly, the white cream accentuating Max’s tanned skin.

Max swiped a finger in one of the long strings, lifted it to his mouth. Fuck, he loved the sight of Max’s tongue licking his finger, savoring his essence. Then Max lifted his long lashes and looked at him. Noah’s heart sank at the confusion in those beautiful brown eyes.

Once breathing didn’t hurt anymore, and he was sure his legs would support him, Noah stumbled over to the downstairs bathroom, dampened a towel, returned to wipe off Max’s chest.

Max had flopped onto the barstool beside Noah’s, his expression bewildered and lost as he passively accepted Noah’s attentions.

“Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.” Please don’t be considering running away, or worse.
Be strong, Max. Accept this. Accept us.

Max blinked. Blinked again. “What have I done?”

Good, there was strength to Max’s tone, shock, which was understandable, but not weakness or self-hatred. Should he keep it light? Or play the strong silent type? What did Max need right now? Unsure if he was responding correctly, he ventured, “I’d say you just joined the rainbow brigade.”

CHAPTER TEN

Jesus, what the fuck had he just done?
While Noah patiently leaned against the counter watching him, Max paced around the kitchen island.

How the hell had this happened? Yesterday he knew exactly who he was. He knew exactly what—who—he wanted—Hayley.

But once his lips had touched Noah’s, it had been...hot. Surprisingly hot. At the time he’d he convinced himself it was because Hayley was naked beside him, watching.

Then he’d felt his own lust, and seen the love in Noah’s eyes, and he’d panicked. Noah was his best friend. His business partner. Noah was like a brother from a different mother. It wasn’t because he was in love with the guy. Or even in lust with him.