His Contract: Legally Bound, Book 1 (21 page)

“Why are you smiling like that?”

“No reason,” she lied, feeling the heat in her cheeks.

Cassie’s eyes lit up. “I knew it! You are hoping to meet someone.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Gabe said Nick was hoping you’d start dating again, and Patrick’s supposedly invited some decent, single guys. Well, hopefully better than decent, but anyway, I’m so glad you’re finally moving on from Damien.”

Warning bells went off in Lilly’s head. She’d only been prepared to pretend so much. Now how far was she going to have to go?

Cassie leaned forward, forcing herself into Lilly’s line of vision. “Am I missing something?”

“No, I just—”

“Aw, come on, Lilly. You look awesome tonight. It’s time to get back out there. Hey, maybe we’ll meet two lawyers who are best friends and they’ll fall head over heels for us.”

Lilly looked toward the high-rise they were nearing with trepidation. Her palms went sweaty. “Cassie, I’m not—”

“Okay, maybe the odds of that are pretty slim, but it could happen. And then they’d never complain about our long hours or income brackets.”

The cab pulled in front of Patrick’s building. As Cassie reached for the door, Lilly yelled, “Cassie, stop!”

She froze. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t, okay? I can’t talk to any guys tonight.”

“Why?”

“Because.” Lilly rubbed her palms along her dress and glanced nervously toward the lobby. “Because there’s someone else, okay?”

“There is?” There was far too much excitement in Cassie’s voice as she let go of the handle and slid across the seat. “Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing someone?”

“I’m not seeing him. Not really.”

“Hey, ladies, you two getting out here or what?” the driver barked.

“In a minute,” Cassie yapped back. “What do you mean, not really?”

“I mean, we’re not dating. Like traditionally.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I’m…” Talking about this was defying Jack’s request, but it had been too hard, keeping silent for so long. She’d been honest with Cassie before and her friend had understood. She didn’t have to go into detail—she didn’t even have to say who the guy was. She only had to say enough to make sure she didn’t end up spending the party doing tequila shots with some fifth year associates.

Besides, she was ready to own up to this part of herself, to feel confident that this was who she was.

“I’m his submissive.”

Cassie’s mouth opened, brows pointing together in a look of complete horror. She rummaged through her purse for some cash, threw it to the driver and grabbed Lilly’s hand.

“We’re walking.”

Cassie pulled her across the seat and out the door. She locked her arm with Lilly’s and led her quickly toward the edge of the parking lot.

“I don’t understand. I thought you never wanted to be in something like that again.”

“This isn’t like what it was with Damien. Not at all.” Lilly tried to keep up with Cassie’s pace and tripped in the process. She stopped walking and pulled on her friend’s hand until she turned around. “He’s made me see how it could be if I trusted him, and I do. I’m completely safe with him.”

“How do you know? How can you be sure he didn’t read about it in a bad novel or something and decided he could do it too?”

“He has tons of experience. He and his wife did it for years and—”

“He’s married?”

“Shh!” She held her hands up, trying to quiet Cassie’s screech. “He
was
married. He’s a widower.”

Cassie glanced at the building behind them, then back at Lilly.

“Lilly,” she began warily. “Is he—is he Jack?”

Her pulse pounded, but she couldn’t lie anymore. “Yes.”

“But he’s almost twice your age!”

“He’s not. He’s only sixteen years older. Seventeen now, I guess.” She grabbed Cassie’s hand. “Please don’t let him know I’ve told you.”

“So he keeps you hidden too, huh? How different is he from Damien, then?”

The words stung, but this wasn’t the same thing. Not the same at all.

“It’s not like that, I swear. He makes me happy, Cass.”

Cassie was quiet for a moment as she looked out at the horizon, where the sun was now a low sliver along the river’s edge.

“Diablo,” she muttered. “Does Nick know?”

“No.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

Lilly rubbed her hands over the gooseflesh rising up on her arms. “I haven’t decided yet, so please don’t say anything to him or Gabe, okay?”

Cassie sighed and put an arm around her. “All right.” They walked back to the building, but Cassie stopped her at the doorway. “Just promise me you’re being careful. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“Jack would never hurt me.”

She was sure of that.

They rode the elevator up to Patrick’s apartment and stepped inside a large, open space filled with people and live music. An attendant took their wraps, and Lilly scanned the room for Jack. Her heart picked up when she found him in a black tuxedo, all sharp creases and lines that accentuated his broad shoulders and cinched together at the waist. She stood in the vortex of guests, waiting for him to see her. But when his eyes caught hers, skimming once down her body and back up, he did the same thing he did in her dream.

He turned away.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Jack couldn’t look at Lilly, not if he wanted to stop himself from throwing her over his shoulder like a caveman. He could already imagine how soft her curls would feel around his fingers. And dear God, that dress. The sluice of green hung so delicately from her skin, pure sin spun out of fabric. It was torture to turn away from her, but he had to. It was the only way he was going to survive.

“It’s so good to see you, Jack,” Carolyn What’s-her-name said. “It’s been too long.”

Jack squared his jaw and took a sip from his drink. He’d had about all he could handle of conversations like this one.

“I was hoping you’d turn up at an alumni dinner,” she added. “But I know it must’ve been hard without your wife.”

Jack forced a polite smile. “It has been, yes. Maybe next year.”

She wished him a happy birthday before he moved on, the next group waving him down. The room was filled with former law school classmates, a slew of Harvard faculty and some members of the Massachusetts Bar Association. He managed small talk with them for a mind-numbing hour, all the while keeping his distance from Lilly. At least this ridiculous night would be over soon, and he’d have her all to himself.

When he’d finally greeted everyone, Jack canvassed the room, relieved to find Lilly chatting with Cassie and Nick.

“Having fun?” Patrick asked, suddenly appearing by his side.

“Tons. Remind me why I haven’t killed you yet?”

Patrick smiled over the champagne flute he’d raised to his lips. “Incoming.”

Brady and Sam were walking toward them, Lilly and the others flanking their sides.

“The entourage arrives.” Patrick reached for Sam’s hand. “Samantha, you look lovely. It’s so good to see you again.” He bent down to kiss her hand. Cassie rolled her eyes.

Jack tried to catch Lilly’s gaze, hoping they’d share a silent laugh over their best friends’ rivalry, but she wouldn’t look at him.

Nick bent to the side and looked around Patrick. “There’s something different about you tonight, but I can’t put my finger on it.” He snapped his fingers. “I know. You don’t have a woman drooling all over you!”

“That’s right,” Brady chimed in. “Where are the single women you promised us? I thought we were making sure Jack got some for his birthday tonight.”

Damn it.

Jack cast a sideways glance in Lilly’s direction and caught her blinking back tears. He hadn’t told her about Patrick and Brady’s renewed pact to find him a date, and there couldn’t have been a worse way for her to find out.

“How could Patrick get any single women here?” Cassie’s question was directed at Patrick, but her eyes cut over to Jack, sharp as ice. “He’s spurned all the ones he knows.”

“I got one to come, didn’t I?” Patrick asked, flashing her a smug grin.

She glared at him. “I think Lilly and I need a drink.”

Jack wasn’t sure what had gotten Cassie so riled up, other than Patrick’s snark, but he couldn’t worry about that right now. He attempted to engage Lilly again, a subtle clearing of his throat he hoped would get her attention, but she kept her eyes obstinately downward.

Cassie linked their arms together, leading her away.

His jaw tightened. Why was Lilly acting like this? She had to know he wasn’t interested in anyone else, and she was supposed to be making tonight easier for him, not harder.

“I’m sorry to have disappointed you all,” Patrick continued. “But I thought we were much more focused on getting Lilly a date tonight. I’ve delivered on that, haven’t I?”

Jack glanced around the room, noticing for the first time how many men were there. Dozens of them, years younger than himself with no dates by their sides.

His hands curled into fists. He quickly stuffed them into his pockets.

“Yeah, you delivered,” Nick replied. “And if Cassie will leave her alone for a second, maybe she’ll talk to someone.”

He wasn’t kidding. Cassie was hovering over Lilly, stuck to her like a barnacle as she led her to Patrick’s wet bar where an attendant was mixing drinks.

Brady clapped Jack on the shoulder. “I think the birthday boy is a little crabby tonight.”

“I’m not crabby, I’m—”

His words dropped off as he caught Lilly and Cassie knocking back a round of shots. “Well if you’re not crabby, then it’s time to give a speech!”

Brady hollered the last word, and it was followed by a cacophony of cheers and silverware clinking against glasses. The music stopped and then all eyes were on him.

“Come on, Jack,” Brady said. “It’s either a speech, or Patrick and I break out in ‘For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow’, and you know you don’t want me to start singing.”

“Okay, okay.” He forced some mirth, giving them the smile that was expected of him. Jack traded his scotch for a glass of champagne offered by a server and held it up in the air. “I’d like to thank you all for coming tonight. By the time someone reaches my age, you’d think they’d be done with parties. I guess I’m not so lucky with a friend like Patrick around.”

Everyone laughed. In the corner, Lilly took another shot. Jack tensed but kept talking.

“It’s an honor to celebrate with friends and family around me. So I’d like to extend a toast to all of you.” He raised his glass, eyes darting to Lilly as her head snapped back a third time. “Cheers.”

When the applause died down and the music started up again, Jack excused himself, handed Patrick his glass and weaved quickly through the crowd. He needed to get Lilly alone. He was halfway across the room when she finally glanced his way. Their eyes met, and he gave a curt nod toward the terrace. She turned to say something to Cassie, then lost her balance and caught herself on the wall.

Three shots and she was halfway drunk already.

She righted herself and plucked a champagne glass from a passing server’s tray before making her way outside. Jack followed her onto the empty balcony. Lilly’s chin lifted as she threw a backward glance over her shoulder, then took a deliberate sip of her drink. Anger prickled in hot waves along his skin. There was no way she should’ve been drinking so much. Not when he needed her to stay composed.

He stifled the need to rip the glass from her hands and stepped out toward the railing.

“What are you doing?” he asked quietly.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“It looks like you’re making very careless decisions, and I don’t understand why.”

“Maybe it’s because I dressed like this for you, and you won’t even look at me.”

That fire he loved was in her eyes, but he couldn’t have that now. Not here.

“Jealousy? Possessiveness? That’s why you’re acting like this?” She flinched at his tone, but she was being defiant now, and he couldn’t allow that. “I told you how I needed things to be tonight.”

“Right. You needed to look
single
.”

She spat the word like it had a bad taste. Jack inhaled slowly. He was the Dom. He needed to be the one to stay calm. In control.

“You know that isn’t true, but I can’t change what Brady and Patrick are trying to do without risking them asking questions. Stop acting like a child.”

“I’m sorry you feel you have to babysit me,” Lilly snapped, then downed another gulp of champagne.

“I think you’ve had enough to drink.”

“I don’t think I’ve had anywhere close to enough.”

That was it. His patience gone, he seized her arm and walked her along the balcony until she had to stop, her back jammed against the wall. Lilly tried to wrench her arm away, but her brazenness faltered when she looked up and finally seemed to understand how angry he was.

Jack stared her down, furious.

“I said you’ve had enough. Put the drink down.”

Lilly looked at the ground, too crestfallen to notice the balcony door sliding open, and mumbled, “Yes, Sir.”

Shit.

“I wouldn’t exactly say Jack’s a ‘sir’.”

Jack whirled at the sound of Patrick’s voice. He should’ve been relieved his friend was the one walking in on their argument, but he wasn’t. Patrick might not have known, and if it hadn’t been him, it could have been Nick who’d found them, or Brady, or any of the other dozens of people at the party. How could Lilly have let that word slip? A mistake like that could have unraveled everything.

Patrick sauntered over to them. “Sir makes him sound like a knight. Captain, maybe? No, that would make him Captain Jack, and that doesn’t work. I do like the idea of having a nickname for Jack, though. What do you think, Lilly? Maybe Admiral works best?”

She didn’t answer. Actually, she looked like she was going to be sick.

Clamping one hand over her mouth, she shoved her champagne glass into Jack’s hand, lurched past them and ran inside.

“Goddamn it.” Jack started to follow, but Patrick barricaded him with a hand to his chest.

“Stop. She’s about to puke and you’re too wound up. Let her be for a minute.”

“Since when are you the voice of reason? You’re the one who made this nightmare happen in the first place. What are you trying to do to me?”

“I’m trying to get you out of your own damn head,” Patrick shouted. “But hey, if you’re so hell-bent on fucking up your own happiness, far be it for me to stand in your way.”

He stepped aside. Jack swept past him and marched toward the bathroom. He waited a minute until he heard the toilet flush. Lilly opened the door, the back of her hand pressed against her lips. She was pale and her eyes were watery. He was concerned, but she was only suffering from the result of too much alcohol, and this night had quickly become a disaster. He needed to stick a finger in the dam, to stop this gash from bleeding all over the floor before anyone else noticed.

“Tell Cassie to take you home,” he ordered quietly. “Take Tylenol, drink water and sleep this off. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He turned around without saying another word, expecting her to do as she’d been told. A few minutes later, he watched Cassie guide her out the door.

Jack exhaled in disappointment and relief, and reluctantly went back to his party.

It was the middle of the afternoon on Saturday by the time Jack pulled up in front of Lilly’s building. He hadn’t called her until noon, wanting to be sure she’d gotten enough rest. He’d needed time to clear his head as well.

The conversation had been stilted, and she’d agreed to his request that he retrieve her himself for once. Jack hoped it was because she was too tired to argue, and not because she wouldn’t have come otherwise.

Her face was blank when she sat down in the passenger seat, Rumbles in his case on her lap.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I had a headache. I’m fine now.”

“Good. I’m glad Cassie made sure you got home okay.”

All she did in reply was nod.

He drove back to his place, but tried to gauge her expression whenever the light turned red. Her eyes remained averted, her attention on picking at the corners of the cat carrier. She was so distant and withdrawn; it made Jack uneasy. He wanted to take her hand, to soothe her and see her smile, but that wasn’t how this worked. They needed to talk first. He supposed other Dominants might punish her for her actions, but that wasn’t something he wanted. There was no reason they couldn’t discuss this calmly and move on.

When they were inside his house and her things were put away, Jack asked her to join him in the kitchen. She slumped on a barstool with her legs flopped over the sides. Her heels kicked awkwardly against the rungs, like a child about to be admonished.

“We need to discuss what happened last night.” He worked to keep his voice soft, yet stern. “What did you think you were doing?”

“I wasn’t thinking. I was trying not to think at all.” She sighed. “I just wanted you to notice me.”

“I did notice you. I noticed you behaving very irresponsibly.”

Lilly frowned and wound her arms around her middle. “I know.”

“All I asked was for you not to give anyone a reason to question us, and instead you made me worry like hell about you the whole night. You were disrespectful and rude, not to mention extremely careless. You can’t make a mistake like that again.”

“I didn’t mean to say it, but being there like that, with you…the party was a lot harder than I expected.” She sighed again. A heavy rise and fall of her shoulders followed the motion. “Did Patrick suspect anything?”

Jack glanced away. Now was not the time to tell her Patrick knew. “No, he didn’t.”

She kicked harder at one of the stool’s legs. “I wish you’d told me what he and Brady were planning. At least then I would’ve been prepared.”

Remorse flooded his gut. She was right. If he’d warned her about their plot, then she wouldn’t have been blindsided the way she was. Maybe she wouldn’t have had to drink to wash away her pain, no different from the way he once had.

“You’re right. I should’ve told you,” he said. “But just so you know, not being able to be near you at the party was difficult for me too.”

She lifted her head. Her forehead was wrinkled, a deep V between her eyes. “It was?”

“Of course. It was almost impossible for me to stay away. To watch what you were doing and not know what was bothering you. To see you in that dress and not be able to touch you.” His gaze swept over her body, swathed in a T-shirt and jeans but a siren call nonetheless. “I should’ve found a way to get a moment alone with you. Or called you beforehand. I apologize.”

Her face softened. “Thank you,” she said, but Jack could tell she was still hurting.

He cupped her face in one hand and brushed his thumb over her cheek. “You’re welcome. But, Lilly, I told you how important it was that we remain discreet. It’s something I’ve never wavered on and never will. So when we’re in public, I need to know you won’t call me ‘Sir’ again.”

She winced, and Jack caught it for a second time—the same flicker of pain he saw last weekend. She lowered her head, but by the time Jack nudged her chin up, the look was gone. Instead, her eyes had gone watery, her lashes wet with tears.

The sight of her crying felt like someone had shoved a knife into his stomach, then jammed it up into his sternum for good measure. He wasn’t sure what about this conversation was bothering her so much, other than the fact that she’d displeased him, but he couldn’t back down now.