Grey's Awakening (17 page)

“Ahh, Jesus Christ,” Grey speared his dick up hard, making Sirus open his eyes and cry out with sweet agony, “you’re killing me.”

Sirus’s gaze clashed and got caught up on Grey’s and, as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t look away. “Fuck me,” he whispered, his voice a rough noise he barely recognized as his own. “Fuck me hard.” Sirus pumped his hips in an out of control fashion, hoping to suffocate the awareness of new love battling to break free. “Please.”

Grey growled and clutched Sirus’s ass, holding them together as he surged off the chair and slammed Sirus down onto the coffee table, sending books and a coffee mug crashing to the floor. Grey came down right on top of Sirus and thrust his cock deep into Sirus’s ass, shoving his way inside until he could not take a single centimeter more. He pushed his hands into Sirus’s hair and twisted, holding on with a stinging grip as he pounded his hips into Sirus’s backside, slapping his balls into Sirus’s crack and sawing his prick in and out of Sirus’s flaming rectum.

“You want it rougher than this?” Grey uttered the words harshly as he speared his dick into Sirus’s hole again, starting a motion that rolled Sirus’s lower body right off the coffee table with every sure thrust. Grey’s eyes held more than a hint of animal savagery, and he looked feral enough to bite. “Tell me.” He pulled on Sirus’s hair and bit his lower lip. “Now.”

“Yes.” Sirus pumped and strained against Grey, struggling to find a way to get inside the man’s very body. He locked his ankles high around Grey’s back, and grabbed the edge of the coffee table so he didn’t slide off the sweat-slick surface. “Fuck me harder.”

Grey reamed Sirus into a confused state of pleasure and pain. His fingers slipped out of Sirus’s hair and grabbed at his face, pushing his jaw open. “You want me to fuck you so hard you’ll still feel me inside you every minute of the day tomorrow?” His focus dropped to Sirus’s mouth as he licked at the opening. He prodded with his tongue, and roughly squeezed Sirus’s jaw. “Do you?”

Sirus couldn’t close his eyes or look away any longer, and stopped even trying.

“Yes.” He lunged up and captured Grey’s mouth, needing every bit of connection he could steal for when Grey went home. Sirus rubbed his tongue over Grey’s, shouting silently inside when Grey moaned and kissed him back with equal rawness. Sirus bit Grey’s lower lip, pulling at the swollen skin as Grey took another hard plunge into his ass. “Oh, God…” Sirus’s mouth fell open with the incredible friction Grey wreaked on his sweet spot. “Fuck me hard … yes … yes.”

Grey’s face changed, the skin over his cheeks pulled taut, and his lips twisted into a snarl. “You want me to mark you so deeply my cum never finds its way out of your tight ass?” Grey went at Sirus with a sharp stab of his shaft, shaking the sturdy coffee table holding them up with the powerful vigor of his fucking. “Is that what you want?”

Sirus let go of the table and wrapped his hands around Grey’s neck, pulling his face down until their foreheads touched. “Please, come.” Sirus scraped his lips across Grey’s, unable to hide what he needed anymore. Overwhelming emotions had such control of him that his request barely held sound. “I need to feel you come.”

Looking into Sirus’s eyes, Grey’s mouth fell open. “I… I…” His eyes squeezed shut, his entire body shuddered in one continuous wave, and a second later warm liquid spurted deep in Sirus’s ass as Grey succumb to orgasm. Sirus’s muscles seized in response, and his ass contracted around Grey’s shaft, drawing Grey’s eyes open again and right onto Sirus.

Sirus stared up at Grey, trapped, completely unable to mask whatever showed on his face. “Grey,” he whispered thickly. He felt only a split second of tingling swirl through his belly and race down his cock before he shot a load of spunk between his stomach and Grey’s, his voice hoarse with a moan as he let go and smeared their torsos with thick lines of seed. Grey jerked above him, and renewed warmth took over Sirus’s milking chute, coating him inside with another wave of cum. Sirus’s cock twitched again between the sandwich of their stomachs, but other than a little spit of semen, he had nothing more to give.

Grey’s arms gave out and he fell on top of Sirus, his weight a heady thing that crushed Sirus into the coffee table. The muscles in Sirus’s thighs protested the tight hold around Grey’s back, and he let his legs fall alongside the length of Grey’s.

For long moments, only the sounds of their heavy breathing filled the room, and Sirus let himself slip into the fantasy that he would feel this amazing male weight pressing into him for the rest of his days. He knew it could never be; he knew he could never sustain a long distance relationship with someone again, let alone try to build something real with a man who could not give even the smallest piece of himself to a partner. All the same, it still felt so fucking
nice
to talk to someone over a good meal and to share a bed and body heat when the temperatures dipped as cold as they were right now that Sirus couldn’t help the snippets of dreams wanting to take over his thoughts and heart.

“Did you paint that?” Grey mumbled into Sirus’s shoulder, where he had his head resting and his face turned toward the fireplace. “The picture above the mantle, I mean.”

His voice sounded drowsy and a little bit slurred.

“Yeah.” Sirus didn’t have to look. He knew the oil painting of the old couple in rocking chairs on the front porch of their home very well. “Don’t know who they are. I drove through a little town in Arkansas one day and saw them sitting peacefully, the old man half asleep. I stopped, pulled back and took their picture, and then drove away.

When I saw them I just knew I wanted to try and paint them, and that’s the result.”

“It’s captivating,” Grey said. “Makes you want to buy a rocking chair and sit with them for a while.”

Sirus smiled against Grey’s hair. “For all I know they fight like cats and dogs and curse at each other all day, but for some reason they looked like they loved each other and had the ability to endure.” He brushed his fingers up and down Grey’s back, memorizing the cords and rips of warm muscles he found there. “The image of them made me envious of something that long lasting, and I wanted to capture it and have something to remind me of what can be.” Sirus’s hand stopped on the curve of Grey’s buttocks, and he exhaled slowly, fighting through his instinct to hide every bit as much as Grey did. “To have something to aspire to one day myself,” he admitted, his tone soft.

The pattern of breathing that touched against Sirus’s shoulder slowed, and the body on top of him filled with tension.

“Are you all right?” Grey asked abruptly, his voice just as hushed. “I was really rough with you.”

Sirus started breathing and began rubbing his palms over Grey’s back again. “I’m okay.” His ass was still stuffed full of Grey’s cock, and Sirus loved the sensation. “I asked for it.”

“I know. But I also know that fucking you as hard as I did can create a lot of pain for the person on the receiving end.” Grey still didn’t turn his head and face Sirus; instead, he drew little circles on Sirus’s hip with the tips of two fingers.

Wanting, aching for something intimate and personal so badly, Sirus steeled himself for another rejection. “Do you want to tell me how you know that?”

Grey shifted and blinked rapidly, Sirus could feel the brushes of the man’s eyelashes against his shoulder. “Yeah,” Grey finally said, after what felt like an eternity of silence.

“I do.”

Sirus closed his eyes, and breathed.

Finally.

“Tell me.”

You don’t want to tell Sirus about Joe, you idiot! Why did you say that?

Grey lay on top of Sirus, his cock still tucked all the way in the man’s ass, and cursed whatever masochistic tendency had prompted him to say he would spill his guts about a part of his private life. It had to be a moment of weakness, of feeling a temporary sense of closeness to this man as a result of the incredibly intimate sex act they’d just shared. Grey didn’t normally lose control and become so vocal and aggressive as he had with Sirus just now, and he’d experienced a momentary obligation to share a part of himself that would equal the vulnerability Sirus had given him during sex.

But that didn’t mean he had to tell Sirus about Joe!

Stupid
.
Stupid
.
Stupid
. This is what Grey got for showing up on Sirus’s doorstep in the middle of the night, pushing something he should have just let end when Sirus walked away yesterday morning.

“I understand if you’ve changed your mind.” Sirus broke the tense silence. The rumble of his words vibrated through Grey and made him tremble. “If you could move,”

Sirus shifted and pushed against Grey’s waist, “we can go wash up, and get some sleep.”

“Oh, sorry.” A stabbing sensation pierced Grey right in the chest. He scrambled off Sirus, gritting his teeth as his dick slid out of the man’s ass. Unable to look Sirus in the eyes after displaying such supreme cowardice, Grey stuffed his cock back into his underwear and adjusted everything back up to his waist, pulling up just the zipper on his jeans.
Shit
. “Do you want me to leave?”

The table creaked and bones cracked and, a second later, the fall of feet on hardwood flooring reached Grey’s ears. “Stay, go, do whatever you want,” Sirus answered, his tone short and hard. “All I know is I’m getting cleaned up and going to bed. I don’t have any control over what you do.”

Grey’s spine stiffened and his gaze shot up from the floor. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” There was no response, though, Sirus had already gone. Grey tore across the living room, his memory of where the bathroom was still very clear. “Arrogant son of a bi…”

Slam!
Grey screeched to a halt mid-step, right outside the bathroom door, his voice stolen as he watched Sirus punch his fist into the bathroom wall. Grey gasped at the power behind the curled hand flying at the white plaster. With one tiny sound from him, Sirus spun toward the door and came face to face with Grey.

Sirus’s eyes burned with mercury moonlight. As Grey stood before the man, unable to deny his glorious nudity, Grey had also never believed himself so close to someone capable of doing real violence.

“Goddamnit,” Sirus growled, “why do you always see me when I don’t want you to?” His lips, so kissable just a short time ago, flattened to a thin, hard line. “I thought for sure you’d turn the other way and run.”

With one narrow-eyed glare from Sirus, Grey’s blood raced through his body and had his heart pounding harder than when he’d fucked the man just a few minutes ago. “If that’s what you wanted, then that’s what you should have told me!” He pushed the door all the way open and stormed inside, getting right up in Sirus’s face. Jesus, he could feel Sirus trying to control his breathing and his anger, but Grey didn’t give a damn about Sirus’s mood right now. “You invited me inside! You told me I could stay! Sleeping together was part of our agreement!”

Sirus reared back and dug his fingers into his hair, his face a mask of disbelief. “Oh yes, our agreement. Our
fucking
agreement.” He snorted and threw his hands up in the air. “Literally, now that I think about it.” Turning away, Sirus tunneled his hands through his hair again, where they then ended up clasped at the back of his neck. The lines of muscle that formed to create the backside of Sirus’s body was magnificent, and he had one of the tightest asses Grey had ever seen, but right in this moment, Grey held his breath and cared only about what Sirus might say or do next.

It felt like Sirus stared at the wall over his bathtub for eons, and with each moment of silence, Grey deflated a little bit, certain Sirus would not grace him with another word.

Just when Grey took a step back to quietly leave, Sirus shifted and found his gaze. The swirling depth of open,
brave
, emotion shining within gutted Grey from top to bottom, and nailed him right to the bathroom floor.

“You know,” Sirus began softly, “I honestly thought I could agree to that deal with you. I genuinely thought I could have two weeks’ worth of amazing, guilt free sex, and not give a rat’s ass about who you are as a person. Other people do it, and you’re so damned good-looking you have to know I wanted you like hell from the moment I saw you. All of that made me think I could participate in this kind of agreement. But I’ve discovered I can’t.”

“Wh—”

Sirus held up a hand and shut Grey right down. “I need to know more than the name, occupation, and length of the cock of the man I’m letting fuck me. I don’t need dark secrets or childhood trauma, or even a promise that this will last more than the time you are on vacation.” A tight smile appeared briefly on Sirus’s lips. “I do need to know, however, how a man as smart as you are—and I can see in your eyes that you are damned shrewd and intelligent—I need to know how you can trust me,
a virtual stranger
, at my word when I tell you that I’m clean and it’s safe for us to have unprotected sex. Yet with that same sharp brain and thought process of yours, you are completely certain that it’s not safe to tell me even one little thing about your life beyond your sister or your work.”

Sirus took a small step forward, and his gaze softened. “I don’t get how a person as smart as you can twist that in your head so it makes sense. I really don’t.”

Taking an automatic step back, Grey bumped into the side of the door. The hairs on his arms and the back of his neck stood on end, and he fucking hated that he didn’t have his shirt on to cover it up. “You trusted me about my health too.” His voice remained steady, and he didn’t blink or flinch, even as his heart rate sped out of control. “So what does that say about you?”

Sirus bit off a low curse and slapped his hand against the edge of the sink. “That is not my point, and you are damned smart enough to know it isn’t, so don’t fake ignorance with me. If you don’t want to answer me, that’s fine, but don’t insult
my
intelligence by pretending you don’t understand what I’m trying to say. Excuse me,” he pushed against Grey’s chest, “I’ve had enough mind games for one night.”

Grey whipped his hand out and braced it against the doorframe, blocking Sirus’s exit. His nostrils flared and his mouth turned dry, but Grey could see in every tightly strung muscle in Sirus’s body that the man would not listen to one more word of bullshit.