Forever and Always (10 page)

This woman spoke so pure and eloquent; for the first time I realized I was a ‘symbol of hope’ as well as someone who can help them.

“I am here to help,” I said to her. “I'm not exactly sure what I can do, but I know for damn sure those who follow us, who choose our side, will be rewarded.”

“So, sweet Josiah, will you show me?”

I smiled at the dear woman. For her and all of those who have waited for this prophesy to come to pass, I ran as hard as I could towards the middle of the Flatlands, and jumped through the air and transitioned into the great white eagle and flew up into the sky. I heard thunderous applause below me as I circled this tiny strip of land. I looked down and I knew I was among my people. They were looking to me for guidance. I understood for the first time what Goshi meant by saying that my love for Lena would only tear me away from my true calling. What happened between Lena and Tommy didn't matter. What did matter were the people right here, right now, the ones who have fought the good fight and have been persecuted for hundreds of years. I was here for them. I will do whatever it is the Triat asks of me.

I spent the next two hours visiting all three bonfires and telling my tales from the last few months. Everyone was real interested in my trials and tribulations. I kept the details of Tommy having cognitive thought and my feelings for Lena private. Other than that, I let loose telling them all my stories. I felt like an old grandfather telling his grandkids of days gone by.

It was close to five in the morning and I decided it was time to leave. Tonight, I had seen all types of Mani. I saw them as they were and their most basic needs.  I too, had fallen for the stereotype that most Mani were savages and hungered for the kill. But on this night, I saw mothers, daughters, sons, and fathers. I saw people who were once flesh and blood just like myself, but now had become immortal and were trying to live with that on a daily basis. I saw people who needed to connect with each other. To know they weren’t in this alone.

I said goodbye to my new friends and transitioned into the eagle and flew off. I have never felt such a positive feeling of acceptance. I flew back to Hollywood, knowing in my heart, I was going to let whatever happened between Tommy and Lena go for now. I had a much bigger destiny than to worry about such petty things.

Or so... I thought.

When I came into the house, Tommy was lying back in the easy chair and Lena was on the floor cross legged next to him. I was hoping to feel a great abundance of forgiveness, but that didn't happen. I saw Tommy and Lena and I felt instant betrayal. Lena popped up off the ground and came towards me the second I got into the house. “Where have you been?” she asked.

“I went out to clear my head. I’ve had a pretty stressful couple of weeks.”

“Where did you go?” Tommy asked.

I looked at Tommy and Lena and felt an extreme amount of hurt. I wanted to yell at both of them and say, ‘HOW COULD YOU!’ But instead, I just calmly said, “I went out. It was no big deal.”

“You okay, man?” Tommy asked, suspiciously.

“Yeah, I'm great, Tommy.” I stared Tommy down with a no-nonsense stare, and then gently smiled. “I have never been better.” I turned and walked towards the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower.”

I went into the bathroom and closed the door. I turned on the shower and made sure the water was scorching hot. I took off all my clothes and stepped into the shower. I stood there for at least thirty minutes, and just allowed the hot water to do its thing. I needed a massage, and the water head was doing the trick. I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. I dried myself off and put my jeans back on and left my shirt off.

There was a knock at the door. “Yeah, who is it?” I yelled

“Hey, Jo, it's Tommy! When you get out, I want to talk to you.”

Really?
I thought. I wonder what he wants to talk about. He probably thinks Yari said something to me and wants to pick my brain to see what I know. At times, Tommy had the worst OCD of anyone I ever knew. No wonder he’d put on a little weight. He was probably feeling guiltier than shit.

“Sure,” I said. “Give me a minute.”

I sat down on the toilet seat and sighed out loud. I eventually walked over to the door and opened it.  “Where do you want to talk?”

“We can talk in the living room.”

“What about Lena?” I asked.

“She went to the guest room.”

I nodded my head and walked out of the bathroom and sat on the couch. Tommy came into the living room and sat on the easy chair.

“What's on your mind, Tommy?”

Tommy was quiet and rubbing his knuckles. He stared blankly ahead and had very little facial expression. Then he said something that nearly made me fall off the couch. “I think I'm in love with your girlfriend.”

Huh? No set up? No beating around the bush? Just a flat out, ‘I think I’m in love with your girlfriend’?

I didn't know how to respond. I thought at best, he would come clear and admit he kissed her .
But, in love with her? What was this? Days of Our Lives?

“Did I hear you right?” I said.

“You heard me, Josiah.”

“How?”

“Over the past month I have fallen for Lena. I feel horrible about it. I can't figure out why I even allow it to happen, but it did, and it's fucking me up inside.”

If my head was spinning before now it was in manic hyper-speed.

Holy shit! My best friend in the entire world just manned up and told me he was in love with my girlfriend!

I looked at Tommy and I could tell it was eating him up inside. I needed to know why he felt that way towards Lena and what she felt for him. “How did it happen?” I asked.

“Josiah, when you left, none of us really knew how to act around each other. Yari and I messed around for a while, but she's not the type of girl you keep that up with. God knows what she does when she leaves here. I don't ask her because I don't want to know.”

“Did you tell Yari how you felt? She's not just a fuck toy that you can bang and then toss to the side.”

“I know that.”

“Do you know that? Yari has more depth than either of us will ever know. She's saved both of our lives and never asked for a damn thing from us.”

“I know that Josiah and I care about her. But she has dark fucking secrets that scare the shit out of me. There's a little too much going on with her.”

“So, let me get this straight. You realized you didn't care about Yari, so you decided to fall in love with my girlfriend instead?”

“Nothing is that simple, Josiah. Do you think I went after Lena and pounced on her the second I knew she was vulnerable and missing you?”

I stood up off the couch and walked to the window. I peeked behind the wall panels that covered the windows so no sunlight could come in. I saw that the sun had not come up yet, but it was about to. I closed the panel.

“I don't know Tommy. I don't know how you think. You do things that I would never do. You cross over the lines that are beyond my imagination. You're a different breed than me in more ways than one.” I walked over to the hallway and pointed down the hall at Lena in her room. “That right there, Tommy! That’s a line you never cross.”

“Why, Josiah? Because you're the fucking chosen one, and God forbid that anyone crosses you?”

“No, you dumbass! It's a line you don't cross because we’re best friends! Because we’re brothers. We’re more than brothers! We have a connection that is beyond this world. At least I thought we did. But you fucked everything up! You don't allow yourself to develop feelings for your best friend’s girl.”

“I didn’t plan on it happening. It just did.”

“Have you acted on it, Tom?” Tommy was extremely quiet. “Have you?” I shouted. Lena had to have heard me in the other room.

“Yes I have.”

I knew he had, but I wanted to hear it from his own mouth.

“What happened?”

“I kissed her. We were at the beach, just hanging out and I told her I was having feelings for her and I didn't want to act on them because you mean too much to me.”

“You told her that?”

“Yeah.”

“You manipulative motherfucker!”

“What does that mean?”

“It means you played the ‘I'm in love with you but I want to do the noble thing card’. You're a fucking douche bag. You forgot you taught me everything you know, Tommy. That was ‘lesson one’ in the ‘Tommy getting laid handbook’!”

“It's not like that, Josiah. That’s not it at all.”

“But yet, you still waited for an opening, didn’t you? You waited for the right moment to stick your tongue down her throat!”

Tommy was again quiet.

“Am I right? You played her good, didn’t you? Did she bite, Tom? Did she nibble on the line? Did she kiss you back?”

“Yes and no.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means in the moment she went with it, but only in the moment; within seconds she regretted it and felt awful.”

“What about you? What the fuck did you feel?”

“I felt bad, but...”

“But what? There’s is no but. You are lucky we have a history, Tommy.”

“Why, because you would kick my ass otherwise?”

“No, Tommy, I’m not going to threaten you. You're not worth it. To threaten you would mean I give a shit about you!”

Tommy looked at me shocked as hell. “What are you saying, Josiah?”

“I’m saying that you stepped over a line that can’t be fixed.”

“Okay,” Tommy said quietly. “So, that’s it? You and I are done?”

“I’m sorry that it even started.”

Tommy nodded his head at me. I could tell he felt awful. Then his face turned malicious and he transitioned into the werewolf. I thought he was going to attack me, but instead he crashed through the window and wall panel, spraying glass and wood bits everywhere. Tommy ran up the pathway and leaped over the main fence at the front of the community.

Then I heard a voice in my head and it was Tommy’s. It was short and to the point. “I'm sorry, Josiah.”

Lena rushed into the living room once she heard Tommy crash through the window and wall panel. “What happened?” she yelled.

I looked at her and felt disgust in my heart. The morning sun had now come up over the horizon and Tommy blasting through the window allowed a ton of sunlight to get into the town house.

That sure was considerate of Tommy to make a giant hole in a house filled with vampires.

“Go back to the room, you're going to burn!” I said to Lena.

“What happened, Josiah?”

I calmly looked at Lena and said slowly, “Go back to the room or you’re going to burn!”

Lena knew I wasn't messing around, and it was really the first time I ever threw my weight around when it came to her. Lena turned around and walked slowly back to her room.

I needed to get out of the living room where most of the sunlight was making its way through. I went into Yari's room and shut the door. I took my phone out of my pocket and walked over to Yari’s computer and looked up a twenty-four hour maintenance company in the Google search engine.

I called up the service and told them to come out and fix the window. Also, to put up another panel so no sunlight could make its way into the living room.  I added my wife had a very sensitive skin disease. The guys came and were gone in a matter of hours. I gave them Hector's credit card number and they were on their way.

I decided not to head to the back of the house, because I was not ready to confront Lena. I remembered what Goshi had said to me. He told me how my feelings for Lena would get in the way of my true destiny. Today, it was extremely apparent that he was right. But, nonetheless, it's what I had to do. I needed to know how she felt about Tommy. But more importantly, I needed to know how she felt about me. Even though I wasn’t ready, I needed to know some answers. I reluctantly walked to the back of the house.

I opened the door to the guest room and walked in. Lena was lying on the bed with her back to the door.

“Hey!” I said out loud.

“Yes.” Lena still had her back to me.

“What's wrong with you?” I asked

“I don't know. What's wrong with you? Why did you talk to me like that?”

“Why do you think?”

“I didn’t do anything, Josiah.”

“I didn’t say you did.”

“He kissed me and that was it.”

“Is it?” I asked.

“Is what?”

“Is that all there is? Are there feelings between the two of you?”

Lena was quiet.

“Are you quiet because you have feelings for him, or are you quiet because I had the gall to ask that question?”

Lena whispered, “The first one.”

“What was that?”

Lena turned over and looked at me. “It’s the first one, Josiah.”

“You have developed feelings for Tommy?”

Lena nodded.

“How?”

“I don’t know how. We just started hanging out and getting along.”

“Getting along? I didn’t realize that getting along with someone constitute romantic feelings.”

“You make it sound like I was being malicious.”

“What happened to ‘forever and always’? What happened to ‘I love you’?”

“I haven’t stopped loving you. In many ways, I love you more.”

“You love me more? You developed feelings for my best friend and that caused you to love me more?  How is that possible?”

“Because now I know what I need to do.”

“Which is?”

Lena sat up on the bed.  She seemed really uncomfortable.

“What do you need to do, Lena?”

“I think I… or we, need time apart.”

“Oh, we do? Just like that. I don’t see you for a month and the second I come back we need time apart?”

“I need to figure things out.”

“Do you love him?”

“Not in the same way I love you.”

“So, you do love him?”

“I don't know what it is. Tommy took care of me. He comforted me when you weren't there.”

“I think I'm going to throw up.”

“Josiah, the love I have for you sometimes doesn’t even feel real, it’s like a fairytale where the weird Goth girl gets the cute popular boy in school.”

“Wow, I can't believe how you just reduced us to some cheesy teen movie. I think what has gone on between us is a lot more than that.”