Fistful of Benjamins (4 page)

“W
hat's wrong with you?” Eduardo asked, looking at me strangely. “You been acting real funny lately. You starting to make me wonder about you. You got some nigga out there hollering at you? Or you tired of me? What's the deal?”

He was hitting me with the fifty million questions because I had pushed him away from me when he'd tried to initiate sex; something I would've never have done under normal circumstances. As much as I loved Eduardo's dick, he knew just as well as I did that I would've never turned down an opportunity to feel it inside of me. So when I rejected him for the third night in a row, Eduardo knew something was up. I'd usually be the one trying to damn near rape him, but after what I'd been going through to keep the packages coming in for him, I wasn't in the mood to be touched by a man at all.

“You gon' tell me what's up or you gon' leave me to come up with some shit on my own?” Eduardo pressed. I rolled my eyes and ignored him at first.

It had been three weeks since we'd started moving more packages and each week I'd had to go to Carlos's house and fuck his nasty ass. The first time, I literally threw up right after he'd touched me.

Carlos was a nasty motherfucker who wanted to have his small, sweaty, fleshy, soggy, musty dick sucked, although it smelled like he'd never washed it in his life. That was where I had drawn the line. “Fuck you! I'm not sucking your dirty dick for nothing!” I had barked at him. I was really close to stabbing him full of holes that day.

“Remember, I hold the key to your freedom, Gabriella. I know you don't want that little boy of yours to grow up without his mother. And what will Mama Vasquez think of her only daughter . . . the drug courier?” Carlos had said when I had told him I wasn't sucking his dick. He knew the right things to say to hit home with me. My mother and Andrew were the two most important people in the world to me. They were the real reason I had started doing the packages in the first place. After more threats from Carlos and more reluctance from me, I finally gave in to his disgusting request. I swear, when I put that piece of flesh in my mouth, I died a million deaths inside. Something deep down inside of me really died and I knew that I would never be the same again. Ever! As I choked and gagged from the odor of Carlos's dick, I had so many devious thoughts running through my head. The first thing I thought about was biting down on his shit until it was almost cut off and he died from the pain.

After I left there that day, I had rushed straight to the drugstore and purchased at least five different mouthwashes and tried to wash every bit of him out of my mouth. I didn't think the musty taste would ever leave my mouth. I still don't think my sense of taste or smell will ever be the same.

Eduardo was still complaining about me rejecting him. Finally, I glared at him. I wanted so badly to scream at him and say,
You have no fucking idea all I've been doing for you! Don't complain, because I've been making the ultimate sacrifice for your ass.
But I didn't say what I was thinking.

“Nothing is wrong. I'm just not in the mood. I'm not always ready to be at your beck and call, you know,” I snapped, then turned my back toward him. Just knowing that I was sacrificing so much to help him and to be with him had already started making me feel annoyed around him.

“Well, you used to be ready for me all the time. You used to want me all the time. So, now that you're acting like this, I know something is wrong. This is not the Gabriella I know. You sure you a'ight?” Eduardo said. I never answered him. I just laid there waiting for it to be my time to leave.

“I'll see you later when you come through with the packages. Remember, the ones with the gold stars go to Ant now and not me. Don't mess that up or else I'll have no way to get all that shit over there carrying it on the streets,” Eduardo instructed. I wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up with all of his fucking instructions. I bit my tongue and stayed quiet.

“One last chance for you to tell me what's the matter,” Eduardo said with the silly but sexy smile he always used on me. I just grumbled. He shrugged, then he kissed me. I pushed him aside. One minute I would feel like he was concerned about me and down for me; but it never took long for Eduardo to bring the topic back to the packages and his money and Lance and what Lance wanted, blah, blah, blah. Frankly, I was sick of the entire operation.

I got up from the bed and stomped into the bathroom. Once inside, I slammed the door so hard I almost broke the door frame. I plopped down on the toilet and put my face in my hands. I began to sob. I had done all of this just for Eduardo and now, once a week, like fucking clockwork, I was being raped against my fucking will and I couldn't even tell Eduardo what was happening. Just thinking about the task I had at hand that day was driving me crazy. I knew right as I sat there that fucking pervert Carlos would be waiting for me to get to his house so he could come up with one more freakish thing for me to do. I wondered if I had told Eduardo, would he say
fuck the packages
and go fuck Carlos up for me? There was no telling, so I just sucked it up and continued to do what I had to do to make sure everything continued to run smoothly.

 

That morning I arrived at Carlos's house just like always before our shift. Like usual, as I walked inside I had to cover my nose until I could get used to the smell of rotting garbage, dirty clothes, and stinking ass. Carlos was a fucking slob in every sense of the word. His house was dirty as shit, with food containers strewn all over the floor and tables, and dishes piled high in the sink that looked like they hadn't been cleaned in years. Flies buzzed around everywhere and dirty clothes were piled up in several different corners of the place.

I wasn't in the mood for any small talk or bullshit. I wasn't in the mood for much that morning and I was feeling like it was time to put an end to the madness. I had put a butcher's knife that I had taken from my kitchen in my bag. I told myself that I was sick of his fucking abuse and I was going to end it once and for all.

“You ready, sweet girl?” Carlos asked, rubbing his crotch lasciviously. I eyed him evilly and I could actually see myself pulling out that knife and gutting that fat bastard like a slaughtered pig. The way I was feeling, I could've probably stabbed him a thousand times and would not have felt any remorse about it.

“Don't talk to me. Seriously. I'm not your fucking girl and I'm not here because I want to be here, so do not fucking speak to me at all,” I said through clenched teeth. Carlos laughed like I had just told him the funniest joke in the world. My eyebrows shot up in disbelief. He watched me as he continued to rub himself.

“I love it when you get upset. It turns me on even more,” he replied. I bit down into my lip until I could taste the tinny taste of my own blood. My chest was moving up and down like someone was pumping it with a machine.

“I don't know when you'll get used to this, Gabriella. I thought by now you would be enjoying it. I enjoy it. You're doing this for your man, right? To protect that little punk who could give a damn less about you. Or wait—maybe a guy who would let his girlfriend deliver drugs in the most dangerous neighborhoods in Virginia Beach really does love you. I don't fucking think so,” Carlos said rudely.

“I'm warning you, Carlos, shut the fuck up today. Don't talk to me at all because I might just lose it on your ass. Don't speak about my boyfriend, about me, about nothing—or else,” I replied. I was not joking with him, either.

“Okay, baby. I'm sorry if I made you mad,” Carlos said tauntingly. Something about the way he spoke incensed me. It was like he was enjoying this torture he was putting me through a little too much. As if I was some dumb, love-struck girl who was just an asshole for putting myself out there for Eduardo.

“Come over here and sit by me,” Carlos said, patting a spot on his bed. I rolled my eyes and reluctantly walked over. I sat down and Carlos immediately reached out and grabbed a handful of my breasts. His touch felt like a million needles stabbing me on every inch of my body. I closed my eyes and pretended I was someplace else, which was hard to do given the fact that this nigga stunk like shit.

“Gabriella, you feel so good. You're so beautiful,” Carlos panted, sounding like he'd run ten miles. I had to swallow hard to choke back the vomit that had crept up my esophagus. My stomach churned as wave after wave of nausea passed through my gut. I was saying a silent prayer that I wouldn't lose it. If I had murdered him, I'd go to jail for life. That's what I had to tell myself to stay calm.

“Today I want it from the back. I want to feel every part of you before this is all over. I know you are going to stop coming to see me one day and then you'll be in jail and I won't ever get to feel you again,” Carlos said, breathing hard like he was excited just thinking about it. I set my jaw and my hands involuntarily curled into fists. This motherfucker must've been losing his fucking mind if he thought I was going to let him fuck me in my ass. I loved Eduardo and I didn't even let
him
fuck me in the ass.

“You're not fucking me in my ass, Carlos!” I growled, jumping up from the bed. I wanted nothing more than to get away from him.

“Don't make this harder than it has to be, Gabriella. I thought you might resist, so I want to show you something,” he said. He stood up too.

I clutched my bag and I could feel the handle of the knife. My blood was boiling inside. I was looking at this slob in disbelief as he went to retrieve his laptop. For the two years I had been with postal, I'd thought of him as a cool coworker. Yes, he used to flirt, but so did most men in the workplace. I would've never thought he would have blackmailed me into sleeping with him like this. I wanted to torture and murder him for this shit.

“Here you go,” Carlos said, putting the laptop down on his nightstand and clicking a few buttons. My mouth dropped open when I saw the videotape footage of the inside of the packages. Carlos had actually opened up a few of Lance's packages and taken video of the drugs inside. Then he had video of me instructing him to make sure those packages got into my mail truck.
How could I be so stupid? I knew better than to put myself out there like that!
I was screaming inside of my head.

“Now, if I were you I would hurry up and get this over with. We both have to be at work soon and you wouldn't want Ben to catch your packages before I did, now would you?” Carlos said flatly. I could feel tears burning at the backs of my eyes.

“Take off that uniform and show me that beautiful ass of yours,” Carlos wheezed. I stood there, contemplating taking that knife out and doing this bastard in.

“Don't just stand there. We both have to be at work before those packages get picked up by someone else, right?” Carlos reiterated, his words giving me the motivation I needed to move. I used one hand to slowly slide out of my pants. But I was still clutching my bag with the knife inside.

“Mmm, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I don't think anybody expected you to be so fine under that uniform. Now come over here and let me see that ass that I'm about to get,” Carlos huffed. I stood up in front of him and turned around, barely able to get my legs to cooperate. I flipped up the flap on my pocketbook and slid my hand inside. I was about to dead this nigga.

“You know, if anything happens to me, I have a way of letting everyone know you were here. That is not the only video I have,” Carlos said. I guess he was smarter than I'd ever given him credit for. I froze, my hand no longer going to my knife. I guess it was final. I was going to be his fucking sex slave until something else changed.

“Yeah, there's a camera around here somewhere. Too bad I can't tell you where. And if you ever think about telling on me or not coming back here anymore, I have something for that too. You see, Gabriella, my brother-in-law is with the DEA. It would just make his day to have you and your little boyfriend served up on a platter for trafficking heroin, weed, and ecstasy over state lines and through the mail, which constitutes its own federal crimes. I would act like I never knew you had drugs in those packages when I sorted them. I would act like I just got suspicious one day because there was so many coming in, not from the same address, but with the same postal coding, from the same area and going to the same houses on your route day after day after day. I would say I was just giving the DEA a tip because I was too scared to confront you for fear that your big, bad boyfriend and his goons would come after me. Then, you know what would happen? The DEA would come on down and get you and your handsome hunk within the blink of an eye. I think you would get ten-to-twenty in federal prison for the type of stuff you're riding dirty with every day,” Carlos said cruelly. It was his only way of getting me to submit. He pulled me closer to him. He probed my ass with his fat, sausage fingers at first. Each touch felt like sharp-bladed razors tearing into my skin. Tears ran a race down my face and I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe that I was standing there letting this happen to me. All because I was protecting Eduardo and thinking about my mother and my son. I kept telling myself that I was doing this for a good reason. I was protecting everyone that I loved.

“Bend over, baby,” Carlos panted like the animal he was. He pushed me over and attempted to stick his shriveled-ass dick into my ass. It felt like someone was slapping a wet noodle over my ass. His dick was cold, limp, and clammy. Carlos was getting frustrated because he couldn't get that little flat dick to go where he wanted it to go. I was breathing hard because the anger inside of me was boiling over now.