Eye of the Beholder (24 page)

Flynn’s hand clamped over Rafe’s shoulder. He gave him a hard shake. “Come on, Rafe. You’re scaring me. You want me to get hives again?”

Rafe rubbed his face and stood up. Glenna was going home tomorrow. This time, it really would be over. What the hell was he doing in this bar? “Sorry, Flynn. You’re on your own. I’ve got somewhere else to be.”

Glenna walked around the table, trying to scrutinize the house from every possible angle. It was hard to believe they’d started with only a few sketches and some satellite photos. She had seen architectural mock-ups of building projects that ’t this detailed. Every scrap of information was there, from the position of the surrounding trees to the iron grating on the front door and the slope of the loading ramp. The maze of underground corridors wasn’t complete—there was still a questionable area in the center—but the large three-dimensional model they’d constructed looked so real, it was disconcerting.

The last time she’d seen this place, she had been scared half out of her mind and crouching behind a bush. This model even included the bush.

“You’re looking at that as if you expect to see the chief slimeball waving at us from a window.”

At Sarah Fox’s comment, Glenna gave a nervous laugh. “Is that the official military term for people like Leonardo Juarez?”

“Among others.”

“He struck me as somewhat reptilian. Like a lizard.”

“We don’t have anywhere near as much intelligence on the man as I’d like, but judging from what we and the DEA have been able to gather, I’d be careful about what you compare him to. You’d be insulting innocent lizards.” Sarah yawned, then braced her hands at the small of her back and stretched her spine. “Well, that’s it for me. Would you like a ride back to your quarters?”

Glenna glanced around the room. During the past five days, this briefing room had transformed into the planning center for the mission. There were high-scale maps of the area tacked to the walls and charts of projected weather patterns on the corkboard. There also were files on all the suspected members of the Juarez crime family, but there weren’t any good photos of their faces—Juarez’s friends in the Rocaman police claimed they didn’t have any mug shots. “I’d like a few more minutes, if you don’t mind,” Glenna said. “I want to check this over again.”

“Glenna, it’s finished. You’ve done all you can do.”

“No, there might be something I’ve forgotten.”

“We appreciate your dedication, Miss Hastings,” Major Redinger said from the doorway. He was wearing his dress uniform, his cap held loosely in his hands. He looked as distant and distinguished as a recruiting poster. “But I believe we’ve reached the point of diminishing returns as far as this model goes. We have enough information to proceed with our training. If you do remember anything else, you can call us.”

Glenna knew he was right. She was wasting their time by dragging this out. She probably could have gone home yesterday. “I will, Major,” she said.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”

“All I want is for your mission to be a success.”

“It will be.” He turned to go, then paused. “By the way, Sergeant Marek mentioned the project you’ve been working on regarding that tourist resort in Rocama. It’s a worthy idea. Once the Juarez group is dismantled, there will need to be considerable economic rebuilding. I’ve already spoken to the army public affairs people and they’ll do what they can to help you cut through the red tape if the Winston Hotel chain decides to go ahe

She tried to hide her surprise. She hadn’t asked Rafe to speak to the major about this, but that was exactly the kind of thing he would do. He didn’t expect thanks or acknowledgment. His thoughtful acts arose from his character. He was an honorable man. He kept his word.

Sometimes she wished he wouldn’t.

Another man would have pressed his advantage and simply seduced her. Not Rafe. Apart from a few stolen kisses when he managed to find her alone, he’d been the epitome of restraint for the past five days. He’d made what he wanted clear, so he was leaving the next move up to her. It was driving her crazy.

Crazy. There was that word again. She yanked her attention back to her surroundings in time to bid the major good-night. As soon as he’d gone, Sarah packed her briefcase and walked to the door. “I don’t want to rush you, but I have to lock up, Glenna.”

“I’m sorry.” She did another circuit around the table. “I just want to make sure…”

“It’s as complete as we can get it. The major has put together a good team for the assault. The rest is up to them now.”

“‘The rest’ is what terrifies me.”

“You need to have faith. He’s one of the best soldiers in Eagle Squadron.”

Glenna didn’t pretend not to understand which soldier she was referring to. From the first day they had worked together, Sarah had been aware that a large part of Glenna’s devotion to this mission stemmed from her feelings for Rafe. “I can’t seem to stop worrying,” Glenna said. “I know firsthand what Juarez is capable of. We were lucky to escape the way we did. What if the number of guards has changed? What if he’s increased his security?”

“Then the team will adapt to the situation and go from there. Delta Force chooses people who can think on their feet. The plans we’re making are only a starting point.” Sarah eased the door closed and came back to Glenna’s side. She set down her briefcase and put her hand on her arm. “We all know the risks. We live with them.”

“But how?” Glenna turned to the other woman. “How can you shut off the worry? What happens if they don’t come back?”

“You deal with it and get on with your life.”

Glenna took a steadying breath. “No. I can’t imagine that.”

“I understand what you’re going through, Glenna. I’ve been there.”

“I thought you and Rafe were just friends.”

One corner of Sarah’s mouth lifted in a sad smile. “I’m not talking about Rafe. I was engaged once to a captain in the Special Forces. We had less than a year together before he was killed on a training mission in the Middle East.”

“I’m sorry. That must have been horrible for you.”

“Yes, it was. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Jackson. I’ve never met a man who compares to him, and I know I never will. He was the best.” She squeezs arm, then dropped her hand and retrieved her briefcase. “But that’s part of life in the service. There are always risks. If you love a soldier, you have to accept the possibility that every goodbye could be the last.”

“But how?”

Sarah returned to the door and put her hand on the knob. She paused for a moment, then looked over her shoulder and fixed Glenna with a level stare. “How? For both your sakes, you make sure you give him a reason to come back.”

A reason to come back. It sounded so simple. She’d told Rafe that
she
needed reasons. For what? To make love? To do what her body was yearning for? How could she put conditions on her love? Why was she making things so complicated? If she loved him, she should be thinking about what
he
needed…

Wait a minute. If she loved him?

Glenna felt something shift inside her. She didn’t know how she got to the other side of the room. Sarah probably said something, but Glenna brushed past her and kept walking. Her heels echoed hollowly in the corridor. The door to the building slammed shut behind her. The chirp of crickets and the rumble of a transport plane filled the darkness around her, yet her surroundings were a blur.

If
she loved him?

She stumbled at the edge of the sidewalk that ran in front of the building. She turned left and kept walking, needing to move. There was a restlessness growing inside her. She couldn’t control it. She didn’t try.

She’d spent five days in the jungle with Rafe. She’d spent five days here on the base with him. She’d thought it took longer than five days to fall in love.

Well, what about ten days? Was that enough? Was there a rule somewhere? While she’d been so concerned about having the right reasons to do what her heart told her, she hadn’t seen where this was leading.

She’d done everything within her power to reduce the risks Rafe would encounter during the raid, but there would still be dangers. What if he didn’t come back from the mission, like Sarah’s fiancé? What if he ended up like the pilot, Harry Hawthorne, a photo on the wall of the next mission briefing? They had never spoken of a future—they hadn’t even gotten as far as dealing with the present—but what if this was all there was?

She was going home tomorrow. Given the way things stood between her and Rafe, after today she might never see him again anyway. Yet she couldn’t bear the thought of Rafe being hurt. Or worse. Whether they were meant to be together or not, she couldn’t imagine the world without him. He was so alive, so vital, so determined.

Footsteps sounded behind her. She’d been on the base long enough to recognize the sound of boots. A soldier was running along the sidewalk in her direction. “Glenna?”

At the sound of the deep voice her pulse slammed into a sprint. She whirled around. “Rafe!”

He caught her shoulders when he reached her. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you. I figured you’d still be at the comman

“I just came from there. I…needed some air.”

“Sarah told me which way you’d gone. She said you seemed upset.”

“I’m going home tomorrow, Rafe.”

He released his grip on her shoulders to take her hands. “I know.”

“And you’ll be leaving for Rocama afterward.”

“Not right away. Not for a few more days. We still have to finalize our plans.”

“But when the team goes, you’ll be with them.”

“Absolutely.”

“I guess…it hadn’t really hit me until now.”

“You’ve been busy.”

“You’ll be careful, won’t you?”

“Glenna, what’s going on?”

She looked at him, her heart pounding so hard it sounded like the ocean in her ears. He was silhouetted in front of a light that burned over the doorway of a nearby building. His hair was pale gold. His broad shoulders were etched with silver. His face was in shadow. It was as if he were already fading from her life.

It was happening again, the desperate, soul-shaking feeling that she could be staring death in the face. Not her own death, but Rafe’s. And just like before, she didn’t want to have regrets for something she hadn’t done.

Give him a reason to come back.

She twined their fingers together and stepped closer. “Rafe, take me home.”

“Home? Do you mean Moon Hall or New York?”

“Neither. Take me to your home, Rafe.”

“My place? Why?”

“I want to see where you live.” She tried to smile, but she couldn’t. She was too close to tears. Five days or ten, it would never be enough. She didn’t want to waste another minute. “And I want to be alone with you, Rafe.”

Even though his face was in shadow, she sensed the sudden spark in his eyes. There was no need to spell it out—he knew what she had said. “Are you sure, Glenna?”

“Are you trying to talk me out of it? Have you changed your mind?”

He brought her hand to his chest. “No, Glenna. I haven’t changed my mind. Wanting you is something that isn’t a choice, it’s a fact.”

The certainty in his voice lent her strength. How could something that felt so right be a mistake?

It seemed to take forever to get there, but his apartment was only twenty minutes from the base. Like most unmarried officers and NCOs who were stationed at Fort Bragg, he’d been required to find off-base housing. He lived on the top floor of a restored red-brick three-story house, set on a street where the trees were old and large enough to meet overhead.

A dim light was burning in the ceiling of the short entrance hall when he unlocked the door to his apartment. The rest of the place was in darkness. Rafe reached for a switch beside the door, but Glenna put her hand over his to stop him. She didn’t need more light. She had seen him clearly for days.

He locked the door and dipped his head to press a kiss on her knuckles, exhaling hard against the back of her hand. “I can’t believe this,” he muttered.

“What?”

“I’ve been thinking of nothing but getting you alone like this all week, and now that you’re here, I don’t know where to start.” He skimmed his hands up her arms. “I want you so much, I’m shaking.”

She leaned into him, astounded to feel a tremor in his fingers. “I want you too, Rafe.”

“Just so you’re clear about this,” he said, easing her jacket off her shoulders. “We won’t be stopping with only a kiss this time.”

“I know.” She removed the clasp that held her hair at the back of her head, then shook her curls free. “I don’t want you to stop, Rafe.” She unfastened the buttons on the front of his uniform and pressed her lips to his neck.

Her eyes closed as she inhaled his scent. It was the same yet different, the mixture of the civilized and the primitive, the essence of her warrior. She kicked off her shoes and ran her hands over the smooth cotton undershirt that covered muscles like steel.

He took off her clothes. Right there at the front door. With fingers that became steadier with each item he removed, he stripped off her blouse and her skirt and her underwear. And when she was naked he caught her under her arms and lifted her against him.

His dog tags clinked. Her breasts flattened against his chest, the sensitive peaks rubbing over the open edges of his uniform. Her toes brushed the hard leather and the rough laces of his boots. Her stomach pressed into the long, firm bulge that strained against the front of his pants.

She’d never been more aware of him as a soldier and as a man, yet the desire that flooded through her carried with it the echoes of other times. There was the mindless impulse to mate that she’d felt in their basement prison. There was the poignant urge she’d felt in the jungle to give comfort to a scarred and vulnerable hero. Yet what she felt now was more, so much more.

If she loved him…

She’d been wrong before. Or so she’d thought. Was it possible that her heart had recognized him all along and had been waiting for her head to catch up?