Expect Me (Rivers Edge Book 3) (6 page)

Travis and I sit there, visiting with his family - well, I mostly people watch; answering questions when they are asked. But, mostly, I keep to myself and just observe this large, boisterous family. A family that I will be connected to for the rest of my life. Whatever comes of Travis and me, we will always be connected by the child I am carrying inside of me.

Right on cue, my stomach makes a painful drop as the nausea takes hold of my body. I can feel myself starting to sweat through the layers of suffocating and suddenly binding clothes I’m wearing. I turn to Travis as I start to stand up. He must read my face instantly because he takes my hand inside of his much larger, calloused one, and leads me straight into the house.

As Travis pulls me along, I’m trying to push all thought from my mind as I concentrate on making it to the bathroom. He pushes open the door of the half-bath and drags me inside. I barely have time to drop to my knees as my body dumps the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I hate this. I absolutely loathe throwing up. I could never have been one of those girls who makes themselves vomit. But ever since I found out I was pregnant, I’ve done nothing but.

Travis grabs ahold of my long, brown ponytail and pulls it back from hanging down in my face, out of the line of fire. I feel his large, strong hand rub light circles on my back. The bathroom is pretty small and with me kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet, there really isn’t much room for a six foot, one inch man who’s practically hovering over the top of me. On top of everything, this is just humiliating.

“You don’t have to stay in here. I’ll be done in a minute,” I tell him as I dry heave into the toilet.

“I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together, remember?” Travis says as he squats next to me and continues to rub my back.

“God, I hate this,” I moan when the dry heaves finally subside and I collapse on the floor in a boneless heap. The cool tile squares feel like heaven against my flushed face.

Travis jumps up and grabs a washcloth from the cabinet under the sink. Once it’s wet with cool water, he sits on the floor next to me - which is a very tight fit, I might add - and lays the cool cloth over my forehead. Within a couple of minutes, the sweating has stopped and my breathing has returned to somewhat normal.

“Better?” Travis asks with concern lacing his voice.

“Yes. I could use a toothbrush, though. Could you grab my purse?”

“Sure,” Travis says has he jumps up and steps out of the small bathroom.

A few minutes later, he returns with my purse. I dig until I find the little bag containing a travel toothbrush and tiny tube of toothpaste. I bought this emergency kit shortly after discovering I was pregnant for obvious reasons.

After a quick brush of my teeth and another splash of cold water on my face, I think I’m finally ready to face the Stevens family again. I look up in the mirror at my reflection - my face is ashen, my eyes dark and sunken, and my lips are chapped and lifeless. I look like an absolute fright.

“I can’t go out there like this, Travis. I look like hell.”

“You look perfect.”

I glance up into his eyes and can tell he means what he said. His eyes look fierce and certain. Which also tells me he might be a little crazy because there is no way in hell I look anything other than frightful.

I glance down at the muscular plain of his chest. I’m instantly reminded of that night - that magical night - two months ago. The night I touched his chest as it rose and fell with exertion and need. I can’t help but to glance down at his hands as I remember everything about that night. How his hands caressed my body. How he shuddered under my touch. How he drove into me like a man possessed, determined.

Travis clears his throat and I glance up, breaking the memory. I roll my eyes as he gives me a cocky little smirk. His eyes sparkle as if he can see all of the thoughts going through my mind. Like he knew exactly what I was thinking about.

As my eyes collide back with his, I see that same need. That same hunger. That same desire. It’s still there, deep in those baby blues. I shift my weight back and forth as Travis reaches for me, pulling me closer, against his hard body. His hands are rough and calloused from hours of working with his hands and tools.

“Better?” he asks, his breath feather light against my forehead.

“Yes,” I whisper as I gaze up into his eyes. I want to kiss him. I want him to kiss me. But, I know that if this “thing” between us turns physical again, it’ll mess up everything that we need to work on. Everything we need to build. And that is so much more important than another night of great sex. It has to be. At least for now.

I pull away and take a step back towards the door. My body give an involuntary shudder at the loss of his body heat, at the loss of his touch. I fight the urge to step forward and return to his embrace.

“We’ve been gone awhile. We should head back out there.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Are you feeling alright? Would you rather head back to my place and relax?” Travis asks.

It does sound very tempting, but I know that his family is gathered tonight to celebrate his niece’s birthday - and his. “No, we can stay for a bit. You haven’t even had any birthday cake yet,” I reply with a little smile.

He laughs as he answers. “My mom bakes the best cakes this side of the Missouri. She owns Purely Sweets, the bakery in town and her stuff is to die for! As soon as you can keep some of it down, I’ll treat you to a few sugary sweets,” he adds with a wink. 

“Deal,” I reply as I pull open the bathroom door. We both step out of the tiny room, grinning at each other like teenagers with a secret, and walk right into the curious face of Mrs. Stevens.

My mom is smiling at me, her eyes darting repeatedly between me and Josselyn. It’s a knowing smile, one that I’m all too familiar with like when I was a kid and tried to tell her it was Will who broke her favorite flower pot on the front porch.

“Everything okay?” she asks.

“Fine,” I respond at the exact same time Josselyn says “Yep!” Both answers come out way too happy and way too quickly.

She knew I was full of shit all those years ago when I lied about the broken pot, and I can tell by her smile, she knows I’m full of shit now. “Are you sure? You’re looking a little peaked, Josselyn.”

“Oh, I’m okay. Thank you for asking,” Josselyn mumbles and doesn’t make eye contact with my mother.

She smiles again, not saying a word, as she leaves the proverbial door wide open.

“Fine,” I finally say. It’s like being interrogated by the CIA; a CIA agent with a sweet smile and a caring demeanor. I look around to make sure the hallway is empty and none of my siblings are lurking in the corners before I answer the question with the answer I’m pretty sure she already knows. “Josselyn is pregnant.”

It was the first time I’d said those words out loud, and it honestly felt pretty damn good. I’m not freaking out like I always thought I would if a woman showed up on my doorstep and told me I was going to be a father.

“I already knew that, dear,” my mom replies with a huge smile to my life changing news.

“You did?” Josselyn asks, eyes wide with shock.

“Yes. I knew the moment I met you tonight, dear. You are glowing. Absolutely glowing and stunning.”  My mom steps closer and takes Josselyn into her motherly, caring embrace. “I’m so happy for both of you.”

Josselyn relaxes into the hug; all of the stress and worry she’s been carrying around with her seem to evaporate with that one simple act. “It’s still very new and very scary, Mrs. Stevens.”

“Elizabeth, please. And I’m sure it is, honey. I was very sick with Avery so I understand how you’re feeling right now. Just remember to take it a day at a time. The nausea only lasts a little while. The end result will be so worth the misery you may be experiencing right now.”

I look at Josselyn and see her wiping tears from her beautiful hazel eyes. Tears from emotional overload or tears of relief, I’m not sure which. “Mom, I wasn’t trying to keep this from you, it’s just that it’s so new and we have some stuff to work out first. We were going to tell you and everyone else soon. I promise.”

“Pfff,” she replies as she steps up to me and cocoons me in the comforts that only my mom can give. “I knew you’d eventually tell me when you were ready.”

“Well, we’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t say anything to the rest of the gang quite yet.”

“Of course, dear. You can tell them when you’re ready.” Mom turns back towards Josselyn and asks, “So, when are you due?”

“Um, well I’m not exactly sure yet. I’m guessing early to mid-November, but I haven’t been to a doctor yet.”

“Well, if you need any recommendations, Dr. Freeman was Avery’s obstetrician, and she was fabulous.”

“Thank you for the information. I really appreciate it,” Josselyn replies, again with relief written on her face.

“Come on, Mom. We better get the cake out for Bean’s birthday,” I tell her as I steer them towards the kitchen.

After the cake has been cut, the singing has commenced, and the presents have been opened, I gather up my cards and steer Josselyn towards the door. She’s looking much better now, all of her color finally returning to her face, though she didn’t eat any of the cake or ice cream.

When we’re back in my truck and heading back into Rivers Edge, my mind is thinking about later tonight. Josselyn is going to be in my place. In my bed. Again. “So, I don’t suppose you have any clothes with you to stay with me tonight, do you?”

Josselyn shifts as if uncomfortable with the conversation before she answers. “No, I don’t.”

“Well, you can borrow a t-shirt of mine to sleep in tonight if you want. Tomorrow, I can take you back to St. Charles to gather up some of your stuff.”

“I have my car. I can go back tomorrow morning and get it.”

“I don’t mind taking the day off. You shouldn’t carry all those boxes by yourself.”

“Matty will be there. And besides, I really don’t have a lot of stuff. Most of my big stuff is in storage so I only really have a duffle bag of clothes and a few small boxes of personal stuff.”

“Well, I’d still rather help you. Plus, then I can meet Matty,” I say.

“I guess, if you want. I don’t want you to get in trouble with your boss, though.”

I laugh. My boss. Apparently, she doesn’t realize that I am the boss. “It won’t be a problem, I promise,” I reply with a smug smile.

It reminds me that we still have so much to learn about each other. I know nothing about her family, her childhood, her life in general. The only thing I know for certain is that she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. And she’s amazing in bed. The chemistry we experienced that night a few months back was off the freaking charts. My pants tighten instantly at the memory of our one night together. My hands itch to reach for her and pull her against me. I want my hands in her hair and her hands on my body. I want to feel that urgency as I brace myself for that intense moment right before I slide inside of her. Fuck. I just want to touch her.

I clear my throat and discreetly adjust myself in the seat to try to relieve the pressure in my pants. The only problem is that I’m pretty sure there’s only one thing that will relieve the ache and pressure I feel towards her. And I definitely don’t want to push that right now. “So, we’ll head to St. Charles after we eat breakfast in the morning. Will that work?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Though, I don’t exactly eat breakfast.”

“I also think we need to make an appointment with a doctor soon. Do you know who you want to see?”

“I know there are a lot of doctors in St. Charles, but if I’m going to stay in Rivers Edge for a bit, I might as well find a doctor here. So, I think I’m going to call the doctor that Avery went to. Plus, I like the idea that she’s a woman.”

I exhale a big sigh of relief that I didn’t realize I was holding when Josselyn says she’s staying in Rivers Edge. I didn’t like the idea of her being a half hour away from me. I want her with me. At my place. As crazy as that may sound, I find an immense amount of comfort in the thought.

I pull into the parking lot at my apartment complex and turn off the engine. Josselyn starts to open her door, but I tell her to wait. I quickly get out and walk around to her side of the truck. My mom always instilled the importance of manners in all of us, and opening up a car door for a lady is just a natural, necessary thing to do.

Josselyn seems surprised by my action which makes me wonder what kind of men she’s dated in the past. Well, shit. The thought of Josselyn dating instantly puts me on edge. I hate the thought of another man touching her, kissing her, fucking her.

“Everything okay?” Josselyn asks as she slides out of my pick up. The look on her face tells me I failed miserably at concealing my emotions and thoughts of her with other men.

“Yeah, fine,” I answer quickly. Probably a little too quickly since she looks like she doesn’t believe me.

We hop on the elevator in the lobby and it whisks us up to the fourth floor. After we exit, my hand immediately goes to her lower back, completely on its own, as I guide her towards my apartment. Neither one of us speak the entire trip from the truck to my place. It feels eerily familiar like some sort of cosmic déjà vu. The outcome a couple of months back was damn fantastic. My hard on rubs painfully against my pants in hopes of the same outcome this time around.

When we step inside of my apartment, Josselyn steps forward, breaking the connection of my hand with her lower back. I want to grab a hold of her and pull her back; my need to touch her too great, so I do. I grab her by the arm and spin her around. I’m not rough in any way, but my desire and need for her is evident. Evident in my hungry eyes, on my taut face, in my hasty touch.

My lips seek out the only lips they’ve craved for eight of the longest weeks of my life. It’s not a gentle kiss. I can’t seem to control myself around this woman, nor do I really want to. I’ve wanted her more than anything since the morning I woke up alone in my bed. Her lips respond instantly to me as they part, inviting me in. My tongue dives into her sweet mouth, drinking in the taste and feel of her. I fucking love kissing her.

I grip her hips gently as I pull her body flush against mine. I swallow Josselyn’s moan as our bodies align for the first time in months. Fire races through my entire body from head to toe, my hands gripping her soft skin as I continue to explore her mouth with my own. Josselyn’s arm wraps around my neck pulling our chests flush against each other. The friction of her core rubbing against my insanely hard cock causes a primal growl to escape my lips.

Without breaking the connection of our mouths and body, I lead her backwards towards my bedroom. As we walk, my hands dip down and start to lift the hem of her red tank top. I slide my hands along her heated flesh as I remove her top exposing the red bra underneath. My cock jerks in my pants at the sight before me.

Before I can lean forward and taste those glorious mounds of breasts, it’s like a cold bucket of water is dumped on us both as Josselyn breathlessly says, “Wait.”

“What?” I ask as I look up into her hazel eyes. Brown. Those beautiful eyes seem to turn brown when she’s turned on and excited. But what I see now in the depths of those hazel eyes is embarrassment.

“We shouldn’t do this, Travis,” she replies as she uses her arms to try to shield her red lace covered breasts.

“Why?” I ask, my voice hoarse as I practically choke on desire and need.

Josselyn takes another step back and sits down on the end of my bed. She’s looking down at the floor and I can almost see the internal battle she’s having with herself at this moment. I sit down next to her on the bed and, again, fight the urge to touch her. Touching her now would be bad, very bad.

Josselyn doesn’t say anything for several minutes. Finally, I can’t take the silence any longer so I reach over and gently take her chin in my hand, turning her to face me. Her eyes remain dipped downward as if she’s fighting eye contact. “Joss, what’s wrong?”

She exhales deeply. I feel her breath against my face. The feel of her breath, the smell of her, makes me want her so fiercely I struggle to remain in control. “I just don’t think that having sex is a good idea, Travis.”

“Okay. Explain to me why you’re thinking that because if I remember correctly, sex before was pretty fucking amazing.”

Josselyn smiles at me. “Yes, it was. But things are different now. I think sex would complicate things.”

“More complicated than two virtual strangers having a baby together?” I ask with a small smile of my own.

She shows me the full wattage of her beautiful smile as she says, “Yes. I just think that we have so much to learn about each other and so much to figure out that if we have sex, we won’t be able to focus on the big picture here.”

“And what is the big picture here?” I ask because honestly, having Josselyn underneath me again is pretty damn high up on my to-do list. In fact, right now, it’s the only thing on my to-do list.

“We have to become friends. We’re going to have a baby, Travis. I don’t really know you, but I want to. I want to know you in all the ways that friends know each other, and maybe someday, as lovers. But right now, I think we need to keep this relationship PG.”

PG? Impossible. I can’t control my mind - or my hands for that matter - when she’s near me. I take a deep, steady breath and ultimately realize she’s probably right. As painful as it is to think with my big head at this moment, we do need to be friends first. Our lives will always be connected through our child, and we need to learn how to co-exist. Maybe we’ll co-exist in the same place and maybe not. I guess only time will tell.

“Okay. I see what you’re saying. I’ll agree to keep my hands to myself as much as possible. But, I’m going to warn you, if I relapse every now and then, you can’t hold it against me,” I say with a cocky smile.

Josselyn laughs and replies, “Deal.”

I walk over to my dresser and dig out a fairly new t-shirt for her to wear to bed. Most of my other shirts are stained up and kind of grungy from work. I have a couple I keep aside for non-work wear, but honestly, I prefer nothing but a sheet for sleeping. Since I’m outside all day long, in all types of weather, I tend to sleep on the hot side. A ceiling fan on low and a cool sheet are all I need to sleep comfortably at night.

“Here,” I say as I hand Josselyn a large t-shirt. “You can borrow another in the morning to go get your stuff if you need to.”

“Thanks,” she replies as she takes the shirt from my hands and starts to head towards the bathroom in the hallway.

I grab a pair of boxer briefs from my drawer since I’m going to have to cover up to sleep on the couch tonight. I also grab my pillow from my bed leaving my spare for Josselyn to use. No one has used that pillow since she slept on it. It still holds her sweet scent because I can’t seem to make myself wash it. The sheets and my pillowcase, yes. But my spare pillow, no. I then head into the hallway and grab an extra sheet from the closet to cover up with.