Enduring Everything (Marked Heart #1) (6 page)

10

Minor
Details

The rest of our honeymoon was
spent in the hotel room. We had seen the sights with Sophia and Ailin and the big comfy bed was the only other honeymoon spot I cared to see. The flight home was a little better but confirmed my belief that I never wanted to fly anywhere again. There was a different air between us when we arrived back home. Although, it was still just the two of us, I had a feeling of 'back to reality'.

I planned on Friday being a lazy day since we made it in late the night before. After making a few jokes about being naughty in his office, now that we were married,
Jackson steered the conversation in a more serious direction.

Looking up from the stack of papers on my kitchen table that he picked up from the firm earlier that morning, he said, "I have the forms here to join our accounts."

Sliding the roast I was making for dinner in the oven, I stopped suddenly, asking, "What do you mean?"

"Our bank accounts," he replied.

Slowly closing the oven door, I turned and looked at him, saying, "I got that, what do you mean join them?"

A smile crossed his face as he answered, "So we have a joint checking and savings."

Growing frustrated with him, I clarified, "I understand what you are saying Jacks. What I don't understand is why you are doing that."

He appeared confused, saying, "We're married."

Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I said, "And..."

His smile widened as he shared, "And, that means what's mine is yours."

Shaking my head, I said, "I don't know if I want to do that."

His smile faded to a confused expression as he said, "Okay, well if you change your mind they're ready to sign."

Nodding at him, I
turned back towards the kitchen to find something else to do.

Sure I had hurt his feelings, I didn't mean to but the thoug
ht of not having my own money gave me chest pains. I didn't want to have to ask permission, explain what I spent money on or be dependent on anyone. I had gone through a great deal of effort in order to be self-sufficient and even though I knew I could trust Jackson, this was something I could not do. It wasn't about the money. I wanted control of my own life, it wasn't easy and I had fought hard for it. So many years ago, I couldn't control anything that was happening to anyone, even me. When I had the chance, I took it and swore it would never be like that again.

~

Saturday afternoon, I laughed after the swing on the back porch hit the ground. Jackson stood staring at it as if it had purposely disobeyed him. We picked out a nice wooden porch swing, to replace the chaise lounge we broke, earlier in the day. All it took was for us to sit down before it pulled right out of the porch ceiling.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Still laughing, I said, "Yea, that was a shock."

Reaching up to the ceiling, Jackson shared, "That's why, the wood is rotten."

"Uh, all of it?" I pouted.

Nodding, he replied, "Looks that way. I'll make a list and run to the hardware store later."

Eying the swing sitting on the ground, I asked, "You still want to sit on it?"

Laughing, he replied, "Might as well."

We carefully sat on the porch swing. It was uncomfortable on the ground but he was right, we bought it to sit together on
, so we might as well.

It wasn't long before we decided to sit on my outdoor sofa instead. I loved sitting outside with Jackson.
His arms would hold me tighter with each breeze. Sighing with happiness, I pulled up a little and kissed the side of his neck.

Turning to me, Jacks leaned his head down and brushed his lips against mine before saying, "This is sorta surreal for me."

"How is that?" I asked.

Pulling me onto his lap, I adjusted to face him as he explained, "I used to think about what it would be like to be with you. To be able to touch you anytime I wanted without worrying if I was out of line. Kiss you like you were..."

Knowing why he trailed off without finishing, I suppressed a cringe before asking, "Does it bother you that you have to watch what you say to me?"

"It would bother me more to upset you," he replied before adding, "I know why."

Looking into his eyes, I knew he thought he knew why. He knew the issues I had with Hert, how my father treated me and he knew I stayed black and blue when I was
with Henley. Nothing was ever that simple with me. Things happened outside of those three and with them that he didn't know and I was glad he didn't.

Leaning into him, I laid my head against his chest, saying, "We're gonna have problems eventually, no matter how careful you are. I don't always know what will upset me until it happens or how I'm going to react to things."

Holding me tight to his chest, Jackson said, "You just have to remember this is me you're with, not anyone else."

If only it were that simple.

~

Sunday evening,
while waiting for Jackson to get out of the shower, I laid across my bed already dressed in my pajamas. A part off me felt bad for brushing off his suggestion to move into our own house. Then again, a bigger part of me couldn't imagine why he would think I would be okay with moving out of my home.

Walking into my bedroom in his boxers, while still drying his hair with a towel, Jackson asked, "Do you want to come with me Wednesday?"

Sitting up, I replied, "I told Amila I would go talk to her about Charlotte when we got back. I'll probably go over there while you're at the center."

Tossing the towel onto the floor, Jackson sat down on the bed before laying back saying, "Are you sure? It's a lot of fun."

Giving him a little shove, I said, "You better pick that towel up off my floor."

"Yes ma'am," he laughed as he sat up and did as he was told.

Stretching out on my bed, I asked, "What do you want from me?"

"Sex, lots of sex," Jackson laughed as he flopped down on the bed next to me.

Rolling my eyes at him, I laughed, "I mean as your wife."

"Me too!" he assured.

Shaking my head at him, I clarified, "Other than the obvious things, what do you expect from me?"

"I don't know what you mean, Ren," he shared.

With a heavy sigh I said, "We never really discussed anything."

"What are you worried about? We're together," he replied.

Sitting up, I crossed my arms in front of my chest, saying, "I never said I was worried. I just think we should talk about the things we should have talked about the week between your proposal and our wedding day."

A low chuckle and an eye roll preceded Jackson asking, "Alright baby, what's on your mind?"

"Do you really expect me to change my whole life?" I answered.

Propping himself up on his elbow, Jacks said, "No, but I do expect it to be our life."

"See, that's what I'm talking about. What does that mean to you?"

Pulling me down next to him, he replied, "It means I get to spend every day for the rest of my life with you."

Trying not to get frustrated with him, I closed my eyes.

Jackson was being sweet, thoughtful and considerate, but I needed him to be honest. I noticed the disappointment in his eyes when I said no to each of his ideas since we had been home. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him. He needed to tell me what he wanted from me, so I could try for him.

Thinking of something I could compromise on, I scooted back a little, saying, "I feel like you had this all planned out for us and I'm ruining it for you."

Shaking his head at me, he said, "You're not."

Taking in
his loving expression, I decided I should tell him about running into Henley on our honeymoon. At the time my mini breakdown was bad enough. I didn't want to spoil our time away together. Now we were back and I was feeling guilty about hiding that from him.

"Jacks, I need to tell you something," I shared.

His expression revealed instant concern as he asked, "Should I be worried?"

I gave a heavy sigh before replying, "No, it's just that while we were gone..." stopping me before I could finish, Jackson speculated, "Is this about the bath?"

Shrugging
, I nodded, thinking 'sort of'.

Drawing in a deep breath, he gave a soft smile before saying, "Ren, whatever happened to you, it's over. All that stuff with that bastard and Hert and The Office, it's over."

"Yea, but..." I started before he stopped me again, assuring, "That's not your life anymore and it hasn't been for a long time. This is our life now and you shouldn't let what happened in the past keep you from being happy with me."

How could Jacks
on think I was unhappy with him?

I was letting everything that had absolutely nothing to do with him interfere.
My guilt was no longer over hiding my run in with Henley from him, it was from punishing him for things he had no control over.

Resting my hand on his side, I scooted closer, saying, "You make me happy."

Leaning in, he brushed his lips against mine before whispering, "I love you."

Searching his eyes with mine, I asked, "How much?" as I cracked a smile.

"Get naked and I'll show you," he answered, pulling me against him.

Jackson's touch eased my conscience
while showing me how much he loved me.

11

A
Major Detail

Wednesday morning, Jackson and I took separate cars to work. He was going to the rec center and I was going to Amila's after work. The group of kids Jacks taught sports fundamentals to would be there at six thirty and that gave him no time in between. I just wanted to get my conversation with Amila about Charlotte over and done with as quickly as possible. I had no intention of doing anything for Charlotte, but since I promised Amila I would at least hear her out, I was going.

Laughing and shaking my head at Jackson as we walked into work, he was throwing his hands in the air and cheering for himself because he pulled into the parking lot about five seconds before I did.

Following him into his office, I teased, "It's hard to believe you are anyone's boss sometimes, you're just a big kid."

Smiling wide at me, he reminded, "Watch it missy. Don't forget, I'm your boss too."

Raising an eyebrow at him, I said, "Only from nine to six and its eight forty-five. So, you are not the boss of me right now."

"Then this won't be completely unethical," he said before shutting his door and locking it.

Shaking my head at him, I took a few steps back, saying, "No sir."

Making a pouty face, Jacks said, "But you're wearing my favorite shirt."

Glancing down at myself before looking back up at him, I replied, "It's just a regular button up shirt."

Jackson flashed a mischievous grin before sharing, "That shirt made Wednesday my favorite day of the week."

"Because it's green?" I asked, thinking he was just trying to get me to mess around with him in his office.

His smile beamed as he stepped in front of me, sharing, "That made it extra good but a... from where my desk used to be I could see into your shirt."

"What?"

Pulling me closer, Jacks slid his fingers into my shirt, between the buttons, saying, "When you leaned forward, I could see your bra through the gaps," before adding, "I never got any work done on Wednesdays."

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I asked, "Is that why you moved all the cubicles back on the right side?"

Nodding
, he leaned down and kissed me.

It was
too bad everyone showed up for work on time because Jacks was close to fulfilling his fantasy of having me in his office before there was a knock on his office door.

~

After having a slow morning at work and unable to concentrate after Jackson shared his fantasy with me, I was happy it was lunchtime. On the way to a surprise location for lunch, I was hoping it was private.

Pulling around to the back door of The Bar,
I saw Auggie's truck and a few other cars. A little disappointed we were not going to be alone, I was excited to see what they were doing inside.

"Surprise," Jacks laughed as we walked in the back door.

I gave him a little smile before heading straight for the room to the right in the back, saying, "I wanna see The Dog House first," with a wink.

Hoping to catch a minute alone with Jacks before he showed me the rest of The Bar, I stopped in the doorway when I saw William on the phone, sitting behind a desk, instead of the bed that used to sit against the wall.

"Oh, hey Ren," William greeted before saying, "I have to call you back," into the phone.

Forcing a smile, I replied, "Hey, is this your office?"

Sliding his cellphone into his pocket as he stood, William answered, "Yea, looks different right."

Glancing around to see a file cabinet and shelves, I said, "Yep," trying to hide my disappointment.

Walking up beside me, Jacks told William, "I'm going to show Ren what we're doing but I need to talk to you before we go."

Nodding, William said, "I'll be back here in my hole."

Jackson
gave him a sympathetic smile before placing his arm around my shoulders and walking me into the main area.

Understanding why William had been banished to the back, the main area was under full reconstruction.
William had pneumonia for the first time when he was five years old. That was the first of seven times total in his twenty three year old life so far. That, coupled with his asthma and chronic bronchitis made everyone in the family extra sensitive towards him and with all the construction going on you could actually see the dust in the air.

It was like a Caffrey family reunion in there. All of Jackson's cousin Brennen's sons were there and Oran's boys as w
ell. Smiles and waves were given as everyone was steadily working hard. I actually had to look twice when Auggie walked in from the kitchen. He looked so much like his dad, Gus, I expected to hear an 'awe hell' when he saw me.

"Is Will still back there makin' love on the phone?" Auggie blurted.

Jackson laughed as I asked, "What?" with a laugh of my own.

Making a face, Auggie informed, "Some girl he met up with. I swear he's spent the last two weeks with the damn phone glued to his ear."

"Awe he's got a girlfriend," I remarked before asking, "Who is she?"

Shrugging me off, Auggie griped, "I don't know. Probly some girl that wants to get drinks for free once the bar's open again."

Rolling my eyes at him, I said, "Wow Auggie, you're such a romantic."

"No one's got time for all that," he replied.

I watched Jacks shake his head before walking over to Oran, knowing Auggie and I were
about to get into it.

Auggie
was a smart-assy jerk from the moment I met him. When he was ten, I held my tongue after a point because he was a kid. Now that he was grown, we often got into it.

"Good to see at almost thirty you haven't softened up one bit," I fussed.

"Hey, girls are great but they're even better when they get dressed and go home," he spouted.

Making a disgusted face at him, I swore, "One day, one of those girls walkin' out, you're gonna want to stick around."

Giving me a 'sure whatever' look, he sarcastically said, "Yea, and I bet we'll be best friends too."

Narrowing my eyes at him, I snapped, "You know what..." before Jackson broke in, saying, "Alright you two, we only have an hour for lunch."

"She's the one that started it," Auggie laughed.

Rubbing my eye with my middle finger, I said, "Real mature."

Jackson laughed at both of us, saying, "And I'm just a big kid."

Sticking my tongue out at him, I turned and walked off to check out The Bar.

Jackson and I walked the main area of The Bar as he showed me the beginnings of the stage area for live music, how they extended the back wall and widened the area for pool tables and of course the new bar, that was made up of the original piece in the center of the new one. On the way out, we stopped at William's office. William pulled some papers out of an envelope before handing them to Jackson.

Turning to me, Jacks smiled, saying, "Don't look."

Laughing, I asked, "Why not?"

"I'm renaming The Bar and it's a surprise, I don't want you to know until we reopen," he replied.

Placing my hands over my eyes, I said, "Fine," wondering why it was such a secret.

Once the papers were signed and back in the envelope, I was allowed to uncover my eyes.
Jackson and I told William goodbye and headed back to his car.

Pulling away from The Bar, I was trying to think of ways to get Jacks to tell me the new name. It really didn't matter to me
what he was naming it because it would never be the same but the fact that it was a secret made me want to know.

I was about to start my interrogation when Jackson said, "We can swing by DPS on the way back to work."

Giving him a strange look, I asked, "For what?"

"So you can change you driver license," he answered.

"I have to have our marriage license to do it," I informed before he replied, "I know, it's in the glove box."

Wishing he would have told me we were doing that today, I shared, "I left my wallet in my purse at the office."

His mood instantly changed as he stated, "Alright."

"Are you mad?" I questioned, noticing the irritated expression on his face.

Without moving his eyes from the road, he replied, "Just drop it."

"You're seriously mad because I didn't know you wanted me to do that today," I asked, getting a little irritated myself.

Without hesitation, he griped, "I'm mad because you should want to do it."

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Oh come on, I'm going to. I just haven't gotten around to it yet."

"Whatever, don't do it then," he snapped.

Giving Jacks a dirty look, I folded my arms against my chest before turning
and staring out of the side window on the way back to work.

~

By the end of the work day, I was glad we had taken separate cars that morning because Jackson was being ridiculous about something as silly as the name on my driver's license.

Everyone except
Jackson and I had left for the day when I stepped into his office.

"I hope you know what an ass you're being, see you at home," I shared before turning to walk out.

"I hope you know that I am choosing not to call you what you are being," Jacks replied, causing me to change my course from the door and head straight to his desk.

I snapped, "Well, aren't you being the bigger person."

Jackson stood up from behind his desk and stated, "Thank you."

"I was being sarcastic," I replied before saying, "And I can't believe you are mad at me for something so stupid."

His frustration was clear as he made his way around his desk to me, informing, "Our marriage license was at the house when we came home. You had all day Friday and you could have gone during lunch any day this week. There's no reason for you to still have Herterand on anything of yours."

"Of course you feel that way, now that we're married all you have to do is keep being you," I fussed.

"You don't want my last name?" he questioned.

Rolling my eyes I thought, 'what a dumb ass question'.

Everything I had, from my house papers all the way to my electric bill had the name Herterand on it. It wasn't like I couldn't let go of it, there was just a lot to do changing everything over and I didn't think it was the emergency Jackson was making it out to be. I assumed I could tend to it at my leisure without the man I was getting naked with every night being all sensitive.

Deciding I was done
with our discussion before it crossed the line into a full-fledged argument, I turned and walked out of his office.

Almost at the door, I stopped when I heard Jacks say, "Hey."

With a heavy sigh I warned, "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Stepping in front of me, he grinned, saying, "I love you see you at home," before he kissed me.

Unable to keep from smiling back, I said, "I love you too."

Wrapping his arms around my waist, Jacks offered, "Let's make up."

"I'll see you at home," I laughed.

Pulling me closer, he coaxed, "Come on, no one else is here. We can go into my office," as a wide smile spread across his face.

"I have to go and so do you," I reminded.

Jackson hesitantly nodded bef
ore giving me another kiss goodbye and letting me go. Walking out to my car, I laughed to myself, thinking that was our first argument as a married couple.