Desire: Big Bear Outlaw MC Romance Book 1 (4 page)

When we turned on my street, I caught myself slowing
down to avoid getting home too soon. There was something comforting
about walking with him and listening to the quiet beating of his
heart.

Suddenly, I stopped. We were only
a few houses away from mine, but I didn
’
t want to talk to
him in front of my house in case my dad came out.

“
Why are you doing this, Kyle?
”
I asked.
“
Really?
”

I looked into his eyes and waited for an answer. He
looked away and then came back to me.

“
I don
’
t know. I just wanted to talk to you.... some more. I
think we got off to a bad start.
”

I shook my head no.
“
No, we
didn
’
t, we didn
’
t get off to any start.
”

“
That
’
s what I mean.
”

Suddenly, I felt a coldness coming
from him. The expression on his face changed, his eyes grew
narrower, and his lips pursed a bit. The intensity that he
generated penetrated into me, somewhere so deep, I
couldn
’
t excise it. That intensity quickly turned into
fear.

“
I
’
m sorry that I said that about your club,
”
I said and tried to
walk passed him to get closer to my house. His intensity scared me,
and I wished that I hadn
’
t stopped so far
away from home.

“
I didn
’
t mean it. I don
’
t know anything
about it,
”
I added.

Kyle placed his warm hand on my forearm, sending
shivers up my spine.

“
No, you don
’
t. But that doesn
’
t matter. The club
isn
’
t what I am, not all I am.
”

I tried to walk past him again, but again he put his
arm on mine.

“
What are you doing?
”
I shrugged it off.
“
I have to
go home.
”

“
I
’
m sorry, Emma,
”
Kyle put his arms up.
“
I
didn
’
t want to talk about the club again. None of that matters.
I just wanted to
…”
he let his words trail off.

I took a few steps passed him and
turned around.
“
What? You wanted to what?
”

“
I don
’
t know,
”
he looked down at his shoes. There was no more
malice in his face
–
was there ever or had I just imagined it?
Instead, the guy who stood before me was vulnerable and
afraid.

“
I just wanted to see if you maybe wanted to go out with
me?
”
he finally said.

He caught me completely off guard. That was the last
thing I was expecting.

“
You wanted to ask me out?
”

“
I am asking you out,
”
he said. He didn
’
t look down at his
shoes anymore. Instead, he looked straight at me. His eyes were
challenging mine, not letting me look away with an
answer.

“
Okay,
”
I finally said.
“
Yes,
I
’
d
like that.
”

The rest of that night was a blur.
Kyle walked me to my door and stood close, so close that it felt
like we were breathing the same air. I saw the beams of the
moonlight bounce off his loose strands of hair. His face was all in
shadow, making him even more impossible to read. Our time on the
porch lasted on a brief moment
–
I took a step away from him, and he
took a step back. I wanted to feel the touch of his hand on mine
again, but something held me back. When he walked out of the
shadows of my porch and into my yard, the floodlight illuminated
his face, and I saw his smile.

“
I
’
ll call you,
”
he said.

I realized that he
didn
’
t have my number. In a daze, I scrambled for a piece of
paper and a pencil. But then I remembered that I had cleaned my
purse earlier that night and taken out all loose pieces of papers,
gum wrappers, and receipts. Now, I wanted to scream at that stupid
girl who thought that a clean purse was better than a messy
one.

“
I got it,
”
Kyle said, pulling out a pen from his pocket.
His voice was a little too loud and, for a moment, I thought that I
heard my dad in the house.

“
I don
’
t have any paper,
”
I whispered.

“
Don
’
t need any,
”
he said, extending his arm.
“
Lay it on
me.
”
He wrote my number on the back of his hand and flashed a
smile.

When I crawled into my bed that
night, I stared at the ceiling for a long time, trying not to fall
asleep. I needed time to process everything that happened that
night. I was not the kind of girl who did things on impulse. I
rarely listened to my intuition, and to tell the truth, I
didn
’
t believe in intuition.

My grandmother, the one person who
I was closest to growing up, the woman who I thought of as my real
mother, lived on intuition. She used to say that intuition was all
we had and the more we learned and the more we intellectualized and
thought with our rational minds, the more we forgot about our
hearts. It wasn
’
t that my grandmother was against book learning, she
had a graduate degree in education. But it was precisely her
education that made her appreciate the importance of intuition and
heart.

So, what did my heart say? I
listened quietly. It did not speak as loudly as my mind, and it was
harder to hear through all the noise. My mind wandered on and on
about the motorcycle club, about Kyle
’
family, about all
those things I thought he was. But the truth was that I
didn
’
t know who he was. I didn
’
t know the first
thing about him. All I knew was the intensity of what I had felt
coming from him
–
the intensity that I had first confused with
something sinister, dangerous. Maybe it wasn
’
t sinister at all,
maybe it was his seriousness that threw me off guard. I had never
talked to anyone so seriously before
–
someone with such
an intense vibe. And I wanted to get to know him more.

But another feeling came from deep
inside of me. It wasn
’
t being generated by my rational thought because
there was nothing rational about it. Instead, it
didn
’
t make any sense and now that I had a date with Kyle, I
wanted this feeling to go away. The feeling had a name, and the
name was Jack.

***

In the morning, a large black crow outside my window
looked inquisitively at me. The crow had large deep black eyes, and
she tilted her head from side to side. It was as if she were trying
to get a better look at who I was beyond what she could see just by
looking at me.

Our eyes met, and my thoughts drifted back to the
night before. I had a date with a mysterious stranger whose brother
I wanted more than anything in my life. My hands grew clammy at the
thought of seeing either of them again.

Life had so many moments of uncertainty, and the
confidence that I got from knowing that Kyle was interested in me
made me feel like I could float on air. And yet there was a
complication.

I felt my fingers tense up when Jack popped into my
mind. Laying in bed, I remembered how he had looked at me across
the parking lot through those long strands of tangled blonde
hair.

My fingers ran down my hip bones
and my thighs as I remembered how close we stood the night before.
I didn
’
t bother pulling down my panties. Instead, I just pushed my
hand in between my thighs into the warmth below.

I closed my eyes.

Jack leaned into me.
His fingers ran along my jawline and buried themselves in my hair.
He got closer, and I felt his breath on my lips. But he
didn
’
t kiss me on my lips. Instead, he demanded that I
wait. He leaned down and ran his lips over my neck
–
quietly, smoothly, gently. It was going to be our first
kiss, and it would be memorable.

I buried my hands in his hair and pulled his head up
to mine. I had to taste him. I had to touch his tongue with mine.
When our lips finally met, shivers spread through my body. His
tongue felt rough and strong. He grabbed my face and kissed me more
passionately with each breath. It was no longer our first kiss.
Now, he kissed me as if he was trying to prove something. In this
kiss, was longing and hope. He devoured me, and I devoured him.

Suddenly, he pulled away and took
a step back. I was just about to say something, but he put his
index finger to his lips and pulled down both straps of my tank
top. He let them dangle there for a moment and then leaned down and
exposed my breast and placed it carefully in his mouth. Again, he
was gentle at first, carefully licking my nipple and playing with
it in his mouth as if it were a bing cherry. My knees went weak,
and I had to prop myself up on the desk. But
Jack
’
s kisses only intensified. He grabbed my other breast,
toeing the line between pleasure and pain.

My panties were getting wetter and
wetter, and I tried to unbuckle his belt. My hands felt rushed,
shaking in anticipating, but he pushed them away. He
didn
’
t give in. Instead, he lifted my tank top over my head
and let my yet unkissed breast bounce into his mouth. Carefully, he
wrapped his mouth around it, taking almost all of it inside his
mouth. I ran my fingers through his luscious hair and tried to pull
up his head to face me, but he wouldn
’
t give in. He
continued to suck on my nipples, spreading his time evenly on both
breasts.

He pushed aside my panties,
smiling at how soaking wet they were and spread me open. He ran his
fingers over my pussy, not going inside. He continued to tease
me
–
giving me little butterfly kisses from my navel to my
thighs and yet avoiding the one area that I wanted to feel his
lips.

I leaned back on my bed, enjoying the moment, and
craving for what would came next.

As if he were reading my mind, he grabbed the side
of my panties with his teeth and started tugging at them. I wiggled
my body to help them along, enjoying the ferociousness of his
actions.

I could see that his games were trying for both of
us. I finally I reached down and grabbed his large erect cock with
my hand. It pulsated and throbbed in my hand. Two could play at
this game.

I ran my fingers over his cock,
accentuating every line and curve. His eyes rolled in the back of
his head, for a moment. Then he came back. I tried to grab his cock
again, I wanted to put him in my mouth, but he
wouldn
’
t let me.

Instead, he pushed my legs open and opened me up.
His fingers went deep into my welcoming pussy, and his tongue ran
over my clit, over and over and over, until I was about to scream.
He licked hard and then swirled around and made large circles that
condensed into smaller ones. His fingers dug deep inside and danced
to a silent melody that only he could hear.

My hips started to move up and
down uncontrollably. I was getting close. A moment later, my legs
grew numb, my toes dug into the bed, and a warm, soothing sensation
spread throughout my body.

“
Emma!
”

My heart jumped into my throat, cutting off my vocal
chords and my ability to speak. I hit my head on the headboard as I
pulled up a sheet over my naked body, just before my Dad opened the
door.

“
You
’
re going to be late,
”
he said, standing in the doorway
with his hands on his hips.

“
It
’
s
…
it
’
s Saturday,
”
I muttered, rubbing my head. All blood seemed to
have drained from my body, and my hands turned cold. My sheets were
wet in spots, making me even colder. I was grateful that the blinds
made it too dark for him to see well.